Wednesday, November 4, 2009

With All Due Respect, Miss, This is Not Your Car, This is a Cruise Liner!



 Wednesday, near midnight! The tipping point for the week, like the top of the first hill on the rollycoaster! Everyone put your hands up and squeal like a schoolgirl with me! EEEEEE!!!!!

Sorry. Trying to work up some enthusiasm... meh, it's sort of working. Things just haven't been the same since Joe sent me a link to a "Watch Instantly" movie on Netflix called "Monsturd", an extremely low budget comedy/horror monster movie, about a fugitive fleeing from the feds (alliteration!) who falls into a sewage tunnel where a chemical company had been illegally dumping chems into the sludge. The mix of chems and feces turns him into a poop monster, and he is out for revenge!

O_O

Apparently, the film had a budget of about $3,000, and is one of those "so bad it's good" campy B-movies... I told Joe if I watch it, I'll write a review of it for this very blog! Now THAT is something you won't see anywhere else online! Well, anywhere with class, that is...



In return for the suggestion, I will buy him this Executive Elite Marshmallow Blaster, a pump-action firearm that shoots marshmallows up to 40 feet, and comes in its own carrying case. Good work Joe. Now you can let people around you know what they mean to you, in a unique, squishy way!

OK, fine, I won't buy it for you, sheesh! I'll buy you this $375,000 Lexus LF-A instead...



550 hp 4.8 liter V-10, rear-drive two seater, top speed 202mph. Now you can get to work REALLY fast, and in style. Or just sell the car and take a few years off, who cares. Only 500 made worldwide! So you'll probably get more $$$ re-selling it... that's good financial advice....

OK, fine, I'll cancel the order on the car, sheesh... well, can I at least buy you this Taj Mahal Lego Set?



Just what every growing boy needs! Although your typical American growing boy wouldn't have a clue what the Taj Mahal is... good thing you're almost a grown-up, Joe! Almost 6,000 pieces! The number of pieces that end up in your vacuum cleaner is completely up to you...

Hmm? No legos? Man, you are hard to shop for.... Well, I guess that leaves me with only one option...



Yep... bacon chocolate chip pancake mix... the breakfast of champions.

See? See what happens when you make great movie suggestions to me right before I write a new blog post? You get lots of new gifts!


Pssst.... hey... behind you...

Made great progress on the novel last night. Things are proceeding swimmingly, I'd say. Although at this second, Logan has about 7K words written on his, compared to my paltry 5,900 or so... LOGAAAAHN!!!! (Gratuitous "Wrath of Khan" reference...). I know, I know, I shouldn't "compete" with anyone but the 50K word goal, I know... it's just I'm feeling so competitive right now (or is that "write now"?) and I tend to not think straight at times like that! In fact, I should go write now (or is that "right now"?)...

Dori and Havah have exactly 0 words written! Havah! You can at least riff on the "Monsturd" concept for a while, just to get some words in! Make it like an epic poem... Don't know where Crystal stands on her word count... go team go!!!1!

Oww! Harsh segue!

Tell me this next video was staged... it has to have been staged...

                                                                                           
If not, then that is pathetic on several distinct levels...

Man, speaking of pathetic, I have so much random junk I could post up here now, it is truly abysmal. How do you guys put up with me, I wonder..?

Bah, I'm done. It's not like it all can't wait until tomorrow. Until then, remember, relationships based on extreme circumstances never work out...

9 comments:

logankstewart said...

What a strange idea for a movie...

Krista said...

Fun Post, Dave! It's awesome you're making good head way on your novel! Keep up the good work :)


Oh , and just wondering, but I never did get that email... don't know if you sent it but it didn't get to me?

All the best, Dave! :)

Crystal said...

I heard Crystal hasn't even started on her novel yet. Slacker...

I've been working crazy long hours at work and still settling in from moving last weekend. But I've been thinking about it a lot...

Congrats on your progress!!

Abbie said...

hey dave!! good work on your novel! keep up the good work!! I'm totally excited for you, and can't wait to read it!! :D

Bob said...

"relationships based on extreme circumstances never work out" is from Speed!!!

Mwahahahhahahaha!!!! :DDD

Krista said...

Thank you, Dave!!!


lol, Bobo, 100 points to ya! :D

David Wagner said...

Sorry, Bob, it's from Speed 2...

-101 points...

You are now 1 point in the negative...

Bob said...

Double LOL!!!! :DDD

Joseph said...

See, knew it was your kinda movie.

I'm overwhelmed by all the prizes. I will take ... all of them! If I can only have one I think I will have to go for ... the bacon pancake mix. I went to a breakfast place downtown, Hash House A Gogo, that had a waffle stuffed with Bacon. It is one of my greatest regrets that I did not order it. I could have been a contributor to This Is Why You're Fat.

Keep up the good work and I will keep an eye out for more gems...