With All Due Respect, Miss, This is Not Your Car, This is a Cruise Liner!

 Wednesday, near midnight! The tipping point for the week, like the top of the first hill on the rollycoaster! Everyone put your hands up and squeal like a schoolgirl with me! EEEEEE!!!!!

Sorry. Trying to work up some enthusiasm... meh, it's sort of working. Things just haven't been the same since Joe sent me a link to a "Watch Instantly" movie on Netflix called "Monsturd", an extremely low budget comedy/horror monster movie, about a fugitive fleeing from the feds (alliteration!) who falls into a sewage tunnel where a chemical company had been illegally dumping chems into the sludge. The mix of chems and feces turns him into a poop monster, and he is out for revenge!

O_O

Apparently, the film had a budget of about $3,000, and is one of those "so bad it's good" campy B-movies... I told Joe if I watch it, I'll write a review of it for this very blog! Now THAT is something you won't see anywhere else online! Well, anywhere with class, that is...

In return for the suggestion, I will buy him this Executive Elite Marshmallow Blaster, a pump-action firearm that shoots marshmallows up to 40 feet, and comes in its own carrying case. Good work Joe. Now you can let people around you know what they mean to you, in a unique, squishy way!

OK, fine, I won't buy it for you, sheesh! I'll buy you this $375,000 Lexus LF-A instead...

550 hp 4.8 liter V-10, rear-drive two seater, top speed 202mph. Now you can get to work REALLY fast, and in style. Or just sell the car and take a few years off, who cares. Only 500 made worldwide! So you'll probably get more $$$ re-selling it... that's good financial advice....

OK, fine, I'll cancel the order on the car, sheesh... well, can I at least buy you this Taj Mahal Lego Set?

Just what every growing boy needs! Although your typical American growing boy wouldn't have a clue what the Taj Mahal is... good thing you're almost a grown-up, Joe! Almost 6,000 pieces! The number of pieces that end up in your vacuum cleaner is completely up to you...

Hmm? No legos? Man, you are hard to shop for.... Well, I guess that leaves me with only one option...

Yep... bacon chocolate chip pancake mix... the breakfast of champions.

See? See what happens when you make great movie suggestions to me right before I write a new blog post? You get lots of new gifts!

Pssst.... hey... behind you...

Made great progress on the novel last night. Things are proceeding swimmingly, I'd say. Although at this second, Logan has about 7K words written on his, compared to my paltry 5,900 or so... LOGAAAAHN!!!! (Gratuitous "Wrath of Khan" reference...). I know, I know, I shouldn't "compete" with anyone but the 50K word goal, I know... it's just I'm feeling so competitive right now (or is that "write now"?) and I tend to not think straight at times like that! In fact, I should go write now (or is that "right now"?)...

Dori and Havah have exactly 0 words written! Havah! You can at least riff on the "Monsturd" concept for a while, just to get some words in! Make it like an epic poem... Don't know where Crystal stands on her word count... go team go!!!1!

Oww! Harsh segue!

Tell me this next video was staged... it has to have been staged...

If not, then that is pathetic on several distinct levels...

Man, speaking of pathetic, I have so much random junk I could post up here now, it is truly abysmal. How do you guys put up with me, I wonder..?

Bah, I'm done. It's not like it all can't wait until tomorrow. Until then, remember, relationships based on extreme circumstances never work out...