Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Hamburgers From Heaven!

Bern, Switzerland! Are you kidding me!? THAT is friggin AWESOME! I kinda wish I lived there. Because, come on.... how beautiful is that? I mean, imagine getting a little place there in Bern, and playing Minecraft all day--- I mean, write novels and things all day. Right?

O, forget it, look at this picture...

O... M... G....

There are some amazing places in the world. According to my sources, that is Bergen, Norway. Dangit, what am I doing? There's this amazing world out there!


What about this one?

Prague. In the Czech Republic. The fourteenth-largest city in the European Union.

So, tell me. Bern, Bergen or Prague? You decide. Maybe it's just the snow that makes them seem awesome. Maybe beneath the surface, there's seediness, political corruption, machinations, intrigues, various connivances and chicaneries...

Or maybe it really is, plain and simple, awesome.

OK, enough of that glorious nonsense...

So, what has happened since last we spoke, lo, these many moons ago?

Wifey and I had our 24th Anniversary. 24 years! On Facebook, I referenced dressing up as Jack Bauer in connection with my anniversary... I was actually going to be more risque with my comment, but I toned it down, since people's opinions of me matter oh so very much, apparently. I did rattle off another pretty good zinger though, when I said "I remember the day I got married... seems like a wifetime ago..." I patted myself on the back for that one...

See? How sad is it when you need to blog Facebook highlights? How little content does a person need to have before he/she resorts to rehashing Facebook quips?

So on my Anniv. I worked half a day, then took Wifey and Youngest out to dinner (couldn't get a sitter) at a great burger place here in San Diego, called Slater's 50/50. Now, I normally despise people that take photos of their food... well, maybe not despise the people themselves, but more the act of photographing food... I mean, toward what end, right?

But I built the most amazing burger, and when they brought it to our table, I was so in awe that I just looked at it, stunned. Yes, I took a photo of it -- likely the only time in my life I will do such a thing...

2/3 lb patty, smoked gouda cheese, thick-cut bacon, grilled onions, tomatoes and bacon-ketchup, on a bacon-pretzel bun... O... M... G.... I'm getting flashback-induced chills just remembering it. It was gigantic. It was like holding a bowling ball. I took bite after glorious bite, and it never felt like it was getting any smaller. Like magic! You know what? I ate the whole dang thing. Plus, a few onion rings, some sweet potato fries, a wonderful glass of beer, and part of a bacon-topped brownie w/ice cream for dessert. We ate early -- about 5pm... and I didn't eat again until lunch the next day.

I don't know whether to be ashamed or proud.

The only thing more awesome than that epic burger is the new trailer for the Mad Max movie (with Tom Hardy) that is coming out next year. By all means, you must watch this, full screen, as high-res as your system can handle...

Wow, like, times ten.

So, the Big Day of Shooting that we had scheduled for Dec 20/21 for the web series, which was going to take priority over the church Christmas play for the first time since 1996, has been postponed to the first weekend in January. This means I'll be able to be at the play performance at church after all! Mixed blessing, in a way... I really wanted to get this particular shoot done, and looked forward to it... but I also was a bit bummed to have to miss the play -- especially since my cast is doing SO WELL! You should see them! Maybe you will be get to! We're going to video tape it. As usual, the audio is the biggest concern. If it records well, I'll post it here.

Anyway, I'll be able to be there.

Not sure how moving the Big Day of Shooting will affect the Premiere date for BTI, if at all. It was set for January 24, and then there was talk of moving it to February. We'll see. I do know that we are committed now to appearing at Wondercon in Anaheim in early April, which will be quite an experience, I'm sure. Then there's Comicon in San Diego in July. We should have the entire series done by then.

What else? Hmm...

Currently Reading: The City Stained Red, by Sam Sykes
Currently Playing: Minecraft, and Sir You Are Being Hunted.
Currently Listening To: Beatles, Volbeat, random 80's music, and, when the mood hits me, Adele.
Currently Feeling: Optimistic
Currently Planning on Seeing: Interstellar and (if I can still find it) Birdman

I think that will sum it up for now. These are good, busy times for me. Check back soon, and I'll heap more upon thee!

Adios for now,

Dave the Good and Busy

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Well, Waddaya Know?! "Time" for a New Blog Post!

Look at the time! Time to update my bloggy blog! Always a trip down the rabbit hole, eh?

I steadfastly refuse to apologize for the length of time I allowed to pass between updates! I won't do it! I'm far too proud to apologize! We straight-toothed, braces-less people can't kowtow to the unseemly demands of lesser, possibly-crooked-toothed rabble who tend to frequent the more interesting blogs on the net...

Yes, I've become more unbearably arrogant since getting my braces off this morning.

Ouch! Getting them off hurt! What the heck! The technician came at me with a pair of (what appeared to be) medieval tin snips, and said "the brackets themselves are pretty brittle, so what we do is snap them off with these! MUAHAHAHA!!! Hold still... you might feel and hear the sound of things breaking on your face... but fear not, it only will feel like I'm ruthlessly snapping off your teeth, one by one, but it's not so! Gunther! Hans! Hold him down! Grab his legs! GRAB HIS LEGS!!!!"

After all the snapping and crushing, they ground off all the cement, had me rinse all the dust and blood out of my mouth, polished my teeth up a bit, and then instructed me in The Way of the Retainer. Gads, if I have to hear one more person tell me not to "wrap my retainers in a napkin and then accidentally throw them away" I think I'll break something... and, no, I don't mean wind. I don't need to be annoyed to break wind. I don't need a reason at all, actually...

Christmas is coming!!!!

Actually, my wedding anniversary is coming first... 24 years! Man, that's a long run. Wifey and I are in a good stretch at the moment. Now that I have straight teeth, she loves me more. Now, she says her love for me has nothing to do with how organized my teeth are, but I have my doubts... her love for me rises and falls, like angry storm waves at sea... I just haven't figured out what it hinges on... I figure it might be the teeth. Or my huge nose. Hey, I'm ok with having a big nose! It doubles as available storage space. I keep winter clothes stored in my nose during the warm months. Plus, if I need to hide a surprise Anniversary gift for my wife, I put it in my nose... she'll NEVER look there! MUAHAHAHA!!!!

Not sure what we'll do for our anniversary. I'm running out of time. I'm not exactly known for thoughtful, well-planned, meaningful gifts and celebrations. My approach usually involves waiting until the day itself, and then frantically running through the mall, looking briefly for a cool gift before quickly grabbing a gift card. It's not that I don't like buying/giving gifts to people... I just usually do it year-round, without reference to a specific date. I guess I feel like occasions themselves are manipulative. I want to buy people gifts on my own time- and price-table! Don't force me! Sheesh!

Anyway, Christmas is coming.

Meh, I'll handle it on December 24th...

Those are some awesome friggin cats...

So, I'm taking a break from my Hollywood acting class for December. For a variety of reasons. I absolutely love the class. But the friend that I drive up there with is not going for December, so that means I'd have to go up solo (read: goodbye carpool lane!), during the extra-thick holiday traffic, putting a bunch of miles on my car (read: lease!) that will definitely put me "over" when the time comes to turn the car back in. So I'm taking my San Diego acting class this month, and I'll go back up to The Great and Powerful Rob Adler's class after the New Year begins.

In fact, I went to the San Diego class tonight. It was great to be back. The Hollywood class is 4 hours of pure scene study, allowing us to go really deep and detailed into scenes and choices, and exploring lots of different things, playing. PLAYING. Which is awesome, and I love it. The San Diego class is mostly Audition Technique, cold reads, a little improv, learning basics, with occasional scene study work done. And I love that class as well! Both instructors are great at what they do. I can't say one is better -- or even preferable -- over the other. BUT I did notice, after having taken the class up in Hollywood for almost three months, that going back into the San Diego class with a different mindset helped me get even more out of the class than I used to. I think I was stuck, after 18 months in the San Diego class... the Hollywood class gave me a real kick in the butt, and "un-stuck" me... now I can see the San Diego class with new eyes. I'm looking forward to taking it for this month.

Had another great day of filming this past weekend, for the web series. Check out these cool photos L Winans took from her driver's seat as Travis and I sauntered by...

That's a smudge on the mirror... I'm not blowing smoke. The cigarette is unlit. 

There really needs to be an explosion behind us. 

The premiere is set for January 24th, but seating will be limited. The theater holds only about 250 people. So I won't be able to invite too many of you! You'll just have to wait until it is released online. Dang, you should see the project website... it is incredibly impressive.

Don't worry... when I become famous, I'm taking you all with me!

So the new Star Wars trailer was released! The more I watch it, the more I love it. Can't wait -- JJ Abrams is The Man. Well, the new Terminator trailer was also released... what a stark contrast. That movie looks like it will be a Turd of the First Order. My stomach cramped and I lost partial control of my bowels while watching that trailer. Never a good sign...

Hey, if you grew out your facial hair for Movember, it's time to shave it off again! Time to go from scruff to buff again! Like this guy!

Or this guy...

That dude is funny... yeah, I just said that! DEAL WITH IT!

My retainers taste like Plexiglas. Just sayin'. For now, I need them in all the time, except when I eat. In six weeks, at my next check-up, if all looks good, I'll only wear them in my sleep.

Wow, I was all over the place tonight. If you waded through all of this pablum, you have my appreciation. I'll so buy you a gift. Just not for Christmas...

OK, I'm done for now. Although, as I drift off to sleep, I'll likely think of other stuff I wanted to talk about.

Ah well, such is life.

Adios for now!

Dave the Goober

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Catching Up on the Latest Acting Stuff

Hello, y'all! Got some acting-related stuff for you tonight... gird thyself. I got a lot to cover...

First, Desert Rose, the 48-Hour Film I was in at the beginning of Summer, has been released for viewing online! It's on Horacio's website, so I can't embed it here. You'd have to click THIS LINK to go there, or just click this convenient movie poster!

Just don't forget to come back and finish reading all the nonsense I'm going to share! This is the short film that my co-star Lisa Winans won the Best Actress Award for at the event, as well as the "A-List Actress" Award at the recent San Diego Film Festival. It was a great experience making the film, and I hope to participate again in 2015.

Next, filming for the BTI Webseries is proceeding smoothly. This past Saturday, (11/22), I got to film on (and fly in) a brand spankin' new 10-million dollar private jet!

I'd never been on a jet like this before. It was so much fun. First, they wheeled the jet outside the hangar, and we filmed the scene of me getting off the plane, and greeting my co-star (the illustrious Travis Osland).

Travis and I kicking back on the plane... it still had that "new plane" smell! And Travis had that "seasoned actor" smell!

When we got the last shot, I asked if I could take a selfie at the top of the stairs, and was granted permission. Love this shot. 

Then a group of us piled onto the plane and it took off and landed twice... so they could get footage of the take-off and landing, as well as footage of the plane returning to park in front of the hangar...

That's Jeff's wife Tanya in the red, and my Eldest Daughter Chris smiling next to her.

That's me in the back seat, next to resident knock-out Leslee Baker, with Lisa Winans in front of us. Man, that's a lot of perfect teeth in that photo... good thing my mouth is closed...

So when Jeff was trying to decide who would go up in the plane, he picked people for various reasons, knowing many people wouldn't be able to go, due to limited seating. It sat 9 people, I believe. In any case, other than the pilots, I was the only guy that went up. Me, Mr. Tough Russian, right? Alpha Male? lol... we taxi to the end of the runway and waited to lift off...

The captain had his own father along for the ride, in the co-pilot's seat. Turns out his dad is a retired pilot (flew passenger planes for one of the big airlines for a few decades), and so the pilot wanted to show off for his dad (I found this out afterwards), and show him what the jet could do. So we lift off, and he GUNS the engines, and we shoot way up, fast... felt like straight up. Everyone else seemed to get a kick out of it - including the 8-year old girl that went with us. Me? Mr. Tough Guy Russian? My stomach immediately drops into my lower intestinal region, and I start getting all light-headed, like I'm going to pass out... I'm like, "holy crap! I'm going to faint and/or vomit and/or soil myself, right here on this beautiful plane, in front of all these lovely women..." lol!

Seriously, if that lift-off had lasted another second or two, I don't know what would have happened... so he leveled off and we headed out over the ocean. A few (hopefully-subtle) deep breaths later and I felt ok again. Everyone was busy taking photos out the windows, but I was simply thanking God for not letting me humiliate myself...

So we circle around and come in for a landing, taxiing back around, while I'm softly singing the "Please Let Me Off This Plane" song... and the pilot turns over his shoulder and says, "Hey, is everyone OK if we take it up again?" Everyone but me enthusiastically agrees, while I try to decide if I have the balls to ruin everyone's fun... I suck it up and say, "sure, let's do this..." Did I think I could do it? Heck no... I took a few pre-emptive deep breaths and waited for the worst... we took off again... and it was super-smooth... didn't even feel it. He apparently didn't need to show off to his dad anymore... did the normal lift-off and it wasn't an issue in the least...

So this time, while in the air, I focused on taking in the view, committing the feel of the experience to memory... because I knew that later on, we'd be filming the interior shots of my character on the plane, and I'd be looking out the windows into an empty hanger... hey, I wanted it to seem realistic, yes? We landed again without issue, deplaned, and they pulled the plane back into the hangar.

Leslee watching the activity on a monitor. It was dark inside the hangar, but with the lights set up like that, inside the plane it looked like it was daytime. Very cool. 

Another shot of the plane, with all the lights set up. 

Cool shot of the plane, nose-on...

It was a long day of shooting, but exceptionally cool. Probably a once-in-a-career type of thing. Other than almost making a fool of myself on the plane (and also breaking my glasses), it was a perfect day. I'm glad I'm getting the chance to catalog it here. From what I understand, the footage we got was outstanding. Can't wait to see it, and to show you all.

Other related news: I auditioned for a part in a YMCA in-house industrial training film, and got the part! It films on December 7th. Also, the Christmas play is moving ahead smoothly. Our cast is complete and solid -- though I won't be there for either the dress rehearsal or the performance itself. But I trust Cathy O. to fill in fine. Should be fun.

Also, the Hollywood classes are continuing to amaze me and wring me out. I actually remembered to take some photos this time!

That's Lisa Winans and Kat (don't know her last name!) in class, with Rob (our instructor) silhouetted in the foreground. 

Rob#2 and Mark, not only performing their scene from American Buffalo, but also playing a game called "Sub-Text", where they say their lines while simultaneously texting to each other on a completely different topic, lol... Mark (the one on the monitor) has a small part in the recent Ben Affleck film Gone Girl...

Well, that should just about cover it for now... if I had the strength, I'd tell you about a dream I had recently which really rocked me (so much so, I got up in the middle of the night and journaled about it), which fits the "acting" theme of tonight's post... but honestly, I'm pretty spent, and I'm sure you're ready for this post to end as well...

All things considered, these are amazing times for me. And the months ahead promise more of the same... plus, I get my braces off in about ten days... awww yeah...

Adios for now,

Dave the Goof

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Sometimes, A Swift Kick to the Posterior Is Just What the Doctor Ordered...

Yeah, Turnip Rock for the WIN!

Honestly, I have no idea whether that photo is legit or photoshopped... I mean, who can tell nowadays? You can't believe anything you read or see anymore! With all due respect to Curnden Craw, those are the times...

Hmmm, I'm feeling a tad cinematic tonight... lemme see...


DAVE sits at his computer,  updating his blog. Fortunately for us, his viewing audience, he's in one of "those moods", whereby he is willing to make a total fool of himself for our enjoyment. Unbeknownst to us, he has cycled through about a half-dozen different titles on Netflix, trying to find something worth watching, and has failed miserably. Various movies, documentaries and stand-up comedians have failed the basic entertainment litmus test, and he deletes them from his NetFlix queue with reckless abandon. At the moment, he has "Lost In La Mancha" paused, moments away from deletion, on one monitor, while he is updating his blog on another.

He is focused intently on his keyboard, determined to make it through this post with a minimum of typos and grammatical quirks.

Hello all! It is Dave, the blatant goof, hoping desperately to entertain you! Because then you'll, like, love me or something... and I'm so pathetically desperate for your love, I'll do just about anything!

DAVE does just about anything. 

It doesn't work.

So, enough of that.

The Wagner Women are in glorious, exotic Albuquerque NM as we speak... Wifey is visiting Mother-In-Law, who is having a Hard Go Of It. This means I have Wagner Manor to myself for 10 Whole Days. Which means: Minecraft, bad food, Netflix, Writing and generally promising myself I will work out, and not doing squat. Or squats.

It's so quiet! I'm tempted to turn on Real Housewives of Bumbleslap OK, just to try and achieve a sense of normalcy around here. Oh, and updating my blog... did I mention that? It is especially important of late, since (you'll be happy to read) I've quickly tired of seeing that guy mooning me (and you) from that bomber plane every time I pull up my blog (to check for comments, of course)...  by the way, Beth wins the award for Comment of the Month for the comment she left, which was six shades of AWESOME.

Your prize, Beth? Name it, and it's yours!

See? See how benevolent I am? I'm, like, Mother Theresa or something... but, like, the male version and stuff. Except I've never been to Calcutta. And I'm a putz. But beyond that, I'm exactly like Mother Theresa...

3D graffiti! I bet you never thought you'd see that, eh? Way cool... in, like, a spiritual sense or something...

OK, fine, you came here to see Cat Math, I'll give it to you....

Cats and boxes. Is there anything better in the world?

I'm sure there is. But, hey, I've lived a fairly sheltered life. I don't really know all that's out there in the world!


Dave sits at his computer, updating his blog. He has just come to the realization that he is, in fact, a putz. He decides to shrug it off and continue as though he was not, in fact, a putz. But we all know the truth, right?

Is there anything better in the world than Bill Murray?

Nope. Nothing better in the world. Bill Cheek-Slapping Murray.

OK, there's, like, Jesus. Then Douglas MacArthur. Then Jeff, the director of the BTI webseries, and then number four is Bill Murray. Number five? Hmm... John Cleese? OK, so, Jesus, MacArthur, Jeff, Bill Cheek-Slapping Murray, and then John Cleese. That's my Top 5.

OK, I should just let that last photo sit there, and sink in...

In fact...


DAVE sits at his computer, looking at the KINTSUKUROI photo, waiting for the symbolism to sink in with all of his readers. He knew that his mom and Beth would both understand it immediately. But for the rest, it may take a while. So he decided to kill time by adding a classic Ed Bassmaster video from his archive...

OMG Ed Bassmaster is friggin' hilarious. In fact, let me modify my Top 5...

1. Jesus
2. Douglass MacArthur
3. Jeff
4. Bill Cheek-Slapping Murray
5. Ed Bassmaster

Sorry, John. Number 6 is still pretty respectable.

Hey, remember that time I was just making this nonsense up as I went?

If it hasn't been made ridiculously clear by this point, I do not have anything of value to share tonight.


DAVE tries in vain to think of something worthwhile to say tonight, hoping to make it worth his reader's time, as far as stopping by. The key part of that phrase being "in vain"... 

Really? This is the point to which we have devolved?

I apologize with a distinct level of profuseness, as far as what you hoped to read here today.  I know the disappointment must be acute... therefore, I appeal unto the legacy left by our long and storied past, whereby I have, in fact, made stopping by this blog worth your while, and beg that you will overlook my lack of competence this night...


DAVE decides to pull the plug on this ridiculous attempt at a blog post, and call it a night. Sleep beckons. Do the right thing, Dave, Ol' Bean!

Adios for now...

Dave the Ol' Bean