Criminently, Trigger, Put That Pea-Shooter Down!

"Sarcasm" or "Czar Chasm", you decide...

Another week begins... and the days are getting longer. Which means one thing in Southern California... beach season! Yay! Nothing makes my family happier than a day at the beach! And I get the house all to myself! I think they're torn about me not going with them - but they understand my rather strong dislike for the beach. I do make myself go with them at least once per Summer, and thanks to my 'method acting' training, I'm very convincing about the grand time I seem to be having!

There's never a shortage of other friends and family to go with them, so it's all good. I will say, there is a strange, calm enjoyment to be had building sand castles with my two youngest. The rest of the time I spend trying not to spontaneously combust (I'm a pasty white nerd, remember...) and wondering how I can yet again tactfully ask when we plan on leaving. "Are we there yet, mommy?" "Not yet!"

So I was driving home from church tonight, drinking an iced green tea from Starbucks... I take a big pull, and as I start to swallow it, it heads down the wrong pipe. I start coughng, all of the tea that was in my mouth ends up in my lap. Soaked crotch, uncontrolled coughing, trying not to wreck the car... my first thought? "Hey, I should mention this in my blog tonight!"

I am loopy.

Here is a picture of the Celtic necktie I bought on our trip to Ireland in March of 2001. I'm posting it for my newest "follower" Marky, who is a Celtic fan in the extreme.

It goes nicely with my Michael Savage T-shirt, eh? Man, I am so stylish! (Churlish is more like it...)

I bought the tie because I thought it was just so flippin cool looking. My wife's first response was "why did you buy a tie with a bunch of guys bending over on it?" My reply was something like, "Uh... um..."

How to answer that question, eh? I just thought it was cool!

I hesitate to confess that I know next to nothing about soccer/football. High school-level American soccer was all I ever saw growing up, and I saw very little of that. When over in Ireland, I watched a game with Manchester and another team I can't quite recall, and I was mesmerized by how precisely they controlled the ball. They passed it from foot to foot, like a laser, running full tilt... I'd never seen anything like it.

So I bought a tie.

Sorry, that's just the way my mind works.

Now, American football, there's a sport I know all about. But I won't bore you all with talk on that sport (it's out of season, you know!). Instead, here's a Terry Tate video... WARNING: If you are offended by the female-dog "b word", then don't watch it... but you'll be missing out on a really funny clip...

I have the script set for the next comic... it's going to be another long one... and it will be kind of obscure... but I'll try to make it funny anyway.....

Todayve In History: April 20

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- April 20, 1775: The British begin their siege of Boston. (Their primary demand? Red Sox tickets...)

- April 20, 1902: Marie & Pierre Curie successfully isolate Radium. (And then, being French, they used it to make a very tasty radioactive cheese.)

- April 20, 1862: The first completed pasteurization test by Louis Pasteur and Claude Bernard. (Why didn't they call it "bernardization", I wonder...)

- April 20, 1918: The Red Baron shoots down his last two planes - he died the next day. (You know you're important in history when they name a frozen pizza after you...)

April 20th is also the birthday of the following people: George Takei, Carmen Electra, Tito Puente and Adolf Hitler. I'm trying to find the connection...

And actually, the Marie Curie joke isn't quite accurate... Pierre was French, Marie was Polish...

I finished reading the first book in Glen Cook's the Chronicles of the Black Company last night. My Concise Review: I liked it. It wasn't stellar, but it was a good read. I still think it's odd to have a story with no good guy in it - only characters of varying levels of evil. It's like a classic fantasy story told from the view of the bad guys. Interesting. I have two more books in the volume if I wish to continue the story. I think I will, actually.

Well, I'm not sure what else there is for me to add to this post. If I think of something to add between now and the time I turn in, I'll hop back on and edit it in.

Until tomorrow, I ask you: What if there were no hypothetical questions?

PS 5 points if you guess the movie I'm quoting in the Post Title...