Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Yeah, I Remember the First Time I Got Shot Out of a Cannon...


My dog likes music a lot, so I got him an iPawed.

OWW!!! Dang, that joke was so bad, it gave me a sharp stomach pain! Sheesh! Maybe I should go edit it out and spare you all--- OWWW! Man, I glanced up and saw the joke again, and the sharp pain returned. Shoot... how am I going to erase it if I can't--- OOOWWW!! Dang! Well, there's a fine to-do... a joke so lame that it produces a painful physical reaction, even when glanced at... I can't go back and edit it out again... well, I suppose this should be a lesson to me.

Reminds me of the Monty Python sketch about the joke that killed people... except in their sketch, the joke was so funny, people died laughing. Good thing today is Opposite Day!

O, what the heck, here's that sketch. I'm nothing if not addicted to blog filler... everything is a mythical, cosmic battle between faith and chance...



Woke up early today (well, early for me, anyway). Around 8 am. Of course, I was up till 3am reading the night before, as is my custom, so I've been borderline zombie all day today. But you'll be pleased to know that I had neither Starbucks nor an energy drink today! Are you proud of me? You are? Good... I need to make up for the lame opening joke...

I picked up 3 points for the unidentified quote in the July 13th post: Ixnay on the "wishing for more wishes" came from Aladin. Thought for sure Grace would snag that one. Speed Round on the July 14 post starts now, if you can find any straggler quotes. I won't tell you if you got them all or not! That's part of the fun!

I watched a skate video yesterday that I got from Netflix, called The Beginning, by the Birdhouse team. It was 45 minutes of mostly weak sauce. As much as I was into (read: obsessed by) skateboarding in my late teens/early twenties, I'm pretty bummed with skate videos, in general. Every time I watch a skate vid (which is less and less frequently), I could swear I'd seen it already... because basically I have. They all are the same after a while. The names change, but the tricks don't. There's very little innovation any more. Mild bummer, really... I stopped caring intensely about the sport a decade ago. It's in the same category as wrestling for me now... occasional passing interest, for nostalgia's sake.

Speaking of obscure wrestling humor, here's the Funny T-Shirt of the Day:


If anyone here can briefly explain why that T-shirt design is funny, I'll give you a bonus 30 points in the Movie Quote Contest... leave an answer in the comments. First one to give me the gist of it gets the points. You have a great chance here, but bear in mind, you can lose it all if you're not careful... You know the kinds of things that can fall into an industrial sausage press?

On a related note, there were a combined 97 comments left in the last 4 posts! Dang! I guess the quote contest was a good idea, eh!?

Todayve In History: July 16
-------------------------------
- July 16, 1790: The District of Columbia is established as the nation's Capital. (Politics is just 'show business' for ugly people.)

- July 16, 1945: The Manhattan Project! The atomic age begins with the successful detonation of a nuke. Let the mixed feelings begin! (I'm not afraid of the man who wants 10 nuclear weapons, Colonel. I'm terrified of the man who only wants one.)

- July 16, 1969: Apollo 11 launches from Cape Canaveral, and into history, to bring the first men to the moon. (Our Germans are better than their Germans.)

- July 16, 1999: JFK Jr. dies in a plane crash off the coast of Martha's Vineyard. (Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.)

Celebrating brithdays on July 16 are: Ginger Rogers (1911), Will Ferrell (1967), Barry Sanders (1968), Chris Pontius (1974) and Bobby Lashley (1976). I included Pontius for Dave-O's sake. And Lashley is another former professional wrestler who is trying to make the switch to MMA, like Brock Lesner did. To my mind, the biggest difference between the two is that Brock's size is natural, whereas Lashley is, shall we say, assisted. Also, their talent levels are light years apart. I know you can fight... but it's our wits that make us men. We'll see if Lashley actually makes the jump to MMA, and if so, if he can hang.

I don't really have much more for you today. I'm pretty tired; I think I'll head for bed. Until tomorrow, remember, "more human than human" is our motto.

15 comments:

John. said...

WWF used to be the name of the wrestling show but they had to change it because WWF rights were held by World Wildlife Fund. So it then became WWE.

WWF panda wrestling shirt explained.

David Wagner said...

30 points for John! Boom, right into 5th place... nice!

Bobinho said...

Last sentence is from Blade Runner..

Bobinho said...

"everything is a mythical, cosmic battle between faith and chance" = children of men

Bobinho said...

"You know the kinds of things that can fall into an industrial sausage press" = dragnet

btw, i liked the iPod pun :D

David Wagner said...

15 quick points for Bob!

You liked the pun? Seriously? lol, man, I should give you two extra points for that... in fact, I will...

marky said...

Monty Python are my all time favourite. Nobody does it like Python; they're the pinnacle of fine comedy, and England’s finest export.

Loved the joke!

Abbie said...

Yeah, I Remember the First Time I Got Shot Out of a Cannon = True Lies
ummm... does this count?
Politics is just 'show business' for ugly people = Jay Leno :P (awesome quote btw!!! lol)
I'm not afraid of the man who wants 10 nuclear weapons, Colonel. I'm terrified of the man who only wants one = The peace maker

Good job John!! nice explanation :P
and dave, lol, i like your "bear in mind" pun :D very fitting lol

havah said...

"Our Germans are better than their Germans" is from The Right Stuff

"Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes." is from Airplane!

"I know you can fight. But it's our wits that make us men" is from Braveheart

havah said...

I was wondering about the Leno quote too...

I loved the Monty Python. We used to watch them a lot overseas.

Isn't it sad how our passions for things can die? I guess they get replaced by others, but there's always that lingering feeling...you know? Anyway...I'm just glum today. Ignore me! :)

David Wagner said...

15 points for Abbie and for Havah, good work.

I love that "politics" quote of Leno's... I considered putting quotes around it and tagging it "-Jay Leno" but then I thought what the heck, I'll just leave it as is, and if anyone snags it, it can count, why not?

Ah, life is good when you make up the rules as you go!

havah said...

Making them up is easy...enforcing them is what's hard. :-/

Paula Titus said...

Cute iPod joke. :) Are you trying to quit energy drinks or just cutting back? The closest Starbucks to me is about five miles away, which stinks - because I love them.

David Wagner said...

Well, I was trying to quit, but this afternoon, it turned into "cutting back", lol. I know, I know. I'm weak. I need a new comfort food item... preferably something healthy, like fruit or some such...

havah said...

Jello? :D