Monday, July 6, 2009

Once Shaved, Always Shaved...


"Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" or "Cat on a Hot Subwoofer", which one?

Maybe this will help you decide...


Now that that's out of the way, we shall proceed.

Ladies and gentlemen, today I was *this* close to shaving my head. I didn't do it. Cue ball fail, I suppose you could call it. Why, you might ask, would I consider doing such a thing? Well, for one, I've always wanted to, just so I can say I did it. Heck, I grew my hair long once for the same reason. Here's pictorial proof, for those that didn't see it in person back in 2005...

That was the day I got it cut off, before and after. My conclusion at the time? Long hair is not for me. The problem was that 18 to 24 month period of transition time between the nice, boring short cut I've had since forever, and the "finally long enough to put in a pony tail" length you see in the pic on the left. Between those stages, I looked 10 times more the giant dork that I am in real life anyway... it was heinous. Plus, my hair is so friggin thick, and I have no less than 7 cowlicks (I'm told), that trying to maintain some semblance of control over it was always an exercise in extreme frustration (mixed with a pinch of "who gives a crap" self-deprecating humor). I was sad to see it go, and glad to see it go, all at the same time.

But back to the head shaving... the other reason is an amplification of the same reason I occasionally shave my beard off completely. Some sort of weak attempt at symbolizing a "new beginning" of some kind. Sort of an "off with the old me, and let's give this a fresh go" kind of thing. I somehow associate my own internal mess with the outward manifestation of my face, or something Freudian like that, I don't know. So every year or so, the facial hair goes off completely, I regret it immediately (for reasons other than the fact that my wife always mocks my smooth face), and I let it grow right back. I keep my facial hair short anyway, so it's usually a week at the most before it's back to normal.

Anyway, I'm feeling the "new beginning" urge quite strongly of late, so that's where the idea to shave my head comes in. In my addled brain, I know I will regret it. It will take a lot longer than a week to return to some sort of normalcy. And the thought of seeing my bumpy white dome in the mirror is already cranking up the fire on my low self image, and I haven't even done it yet!

But I also know that I will love the feeling of buzzing it all off and feeling it fall away. And I'm a big hat wearer already, so I've got that aspect covered (pardon the pun). And when I say "big hat wearer", I do mean my head is so big I need to wear big hats...

But, as of right now, I still have my hair. But who knows what tomorrow holds? You know what they say... "hair today, gone tomorrow"! OMG, that was so easy, I couldn't resist it. Please, pick your respect for me back up off the floor and put it back in your pocket. I promise to avoid ridiculously lame, overused puns like that for the rest of the post...

One benefit to shaving my head would be that, while it is shaved, I can get a tattoo on the top of my head, and once my hair grows back, it will be secret! I can put a secret message on there or something. Such as, "This end up" or "lights on, but no one home" or "if you can read this, you've shaved my head" or "Man, it hurts to get a tattoo on your head" or "do you want to save changes? Hit YES to submit". You know, something cool like that...

Funny Picture:


Thought I'd continue the "cats on tech" theme I have going today so far... I wonder if that cat is USB compatible? When I see that pic, you know what my mind notices first? The unzipped camera case on the desk in the background - the camera that goes in it is being used to take this picture! Sorry, that's the way my mind works, for what it's worth... I'm also desperately trying to come up with a clever, original joke about the cat and the "mouse", but it isn't working. It's been done to death. You think the cat would be more comfortable on a mac?

In honor of Jim Gaffigan's birthday (July 7), I'm going to embed his classic Hot Pocket routine, which is at once funny and annoying... like me! (Except for the "funny" part...)



Ladies and gentlemen, I have absolutely nothing left to say. Thus Endeth Today's Post.

Until tomorrow, remember, sometimes it's ok to not put movie quotes in your post. Keeps your readers on edge!

7 comments:

havah said...

Why do guys always have thick, full hair? Is this part of women's curse from the Fall? So unfair. Just saying...

Actually, the whole change your hair thing is interesting. I had a boyfriend who believed something similar about women: they change their hairstyle/colour/whatever whenever they go through a break-up. And really, even if there is no break-up, there actually is some weird liberating feeling when you go and do something different and possibly regretable to your hair. I'm thinking of hacking off several inches of mine, myself.

Oh, and I'm not much of a Hot Pocket fan...I like the Croissant ones ;)

marky said...

There's a touch of the Michael Hutchence about you with the long hair.

I did the same a few years back. I shaved the whole lot off, and I was amazed at how handsome I looked after it.

It's a crime I tell you. I've even tried scaring myself to make me less attractive. It never worked.

What can we handsome men do?

I hate being an object!

Abbie said...

I actually liked your long hair dave :) it was interesting, and it was good that you had it then, not now, since every other guy at church has long hair :P
that cat on the subwoofer was cute :)

havah said...

Hey, good point about the Michael Hutchence resemblance, marky. Vague, but there. I rather like the after-hair myself though.

John is Awesome. said...

shave it. The best part is you will have a hair tan which is seriously way better than a t-shirt tan.

Avari said...

Omg Dave, I cannot imagine you with a shaved head. But I hardly ever see you without a hat; so as long as you don't pray in front of anyone, you should be fine. What would your family say if you shaved it?

I feel ya about the whole new start thing.

grace said...

if you are going to shave, shave it all. head, beard, eyebrows

go for broke