I Get Paid to be Suspicious When I've Got Nothing to be Suspicious About...

Look, all I know is I'm going to play PC games into the wee hours of the morning tonight.

There, now that that's out of the way, let us begin...


Cool, Dave! Way to start things off with an overused, years-too-late and now-meaningless picture from a visually interesting but eminently forgettable Hollywood-Heavy film! I predict a play on "This is Sparta!" is forthcoming!

Nope, won't do it. Although, if I could add sound effects here, I'd have a really loud belch accompany the artwork, in a continuous loop. I guess you'll just have to provide your own, to complete the experience. Go ahead, run into your kitchen, grab a soda (room temperature, if at all possible)... I'll wait. Chug it, and by all means, let 'er rip. I mean, shake the friggin walls! This is Sparta, you know... If not for Leonidas, then do it for the children.

I know I've mentioned it before, but I can't drop a 300 reference in here without also referencing my favorite book of all time, Gates of Fire, by Steven Pressfield. Awesome book about the suicidal last-stand battle that was so ruthlessly rendered ridiculous in the movie above. I highly recommend reading it, if you haven't, and it's not just because I have an autographed and personalized hard-back copy of it on my office shelf. Terrific writing, terrific reading. Go ahead, run down to the book store right now, buy a copy of it and read it... I'll wait.

I still think there must be a funny T-shirt idea that could be done, with a mash-up of 300 and bowling a perfect game. You know, Leonidas roaring in victory at a bowling alley after bowling a 300... see, it's funny, see.... or at least it would have been back when the movie was coming out...

You're right, it's not that funny. Let me try again... I'm in this for all I've got!


What do you think? That's funny, right? Clever double-meaning, right? Hmm... it is initially funny, but after a few seconds it becomes mildly depressing, you're right... here, lemme try again...


Oh, come on! Now that's funny! A mash-up of Wizard of Oz and zombies... that's too funny... (that reminds me, Rebekah, is that "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" book that your bro bought you worth reading?) OK, fine, this one is funny enough, but that color combo is hard on the eyes... lemme try one last time...


That's the winner, right there. That shirt is totally something my brother John would wear.

In case you were wondering what that smell is, yes, I did eat Indian food tonight. It was actually very, very good food. Had a business meeting with my mommy and a third person, regarding the business web sites, and the plans for the near future. We'll have a more robust meeting about Rug Care Central once Josh comes out next month. Anyway, we ate Indian food and brought home a butt-load of left-overs, which I am about to go reheat and eat. Hey, I need some energy if I'm going to be up into the wee hours playing games...

I trimmed the bushes out front... are you all proud of me? I mean, thoroughly proud? I have such a green thumb, you know! It takes great skill to plug in an electric hedge trimmer, put ear plugs in, and buzz down the bushes. Hey, I figure, I can't have all the short hair around here, I might as well share the fun with the local shrubbery! Me, I don't talk much... I just cut the hair. I'm really digging my buzzed head, by the way... I'm tempted to keep it this short indefinitely... besides, it looks good with my newly-improved physique. Oh, come on, don't tell me you can't notice the results of the 10 push-ups I did last Sunday... I did 15 sit-ups yesterday as well! I am a paragon of health and fitness. I'll make my wife love me yet!

I have got to get one of these, once they start mass-producing them...

He's coming in... I feel safer already. Come on, that would be amazing. I could still waste hours playing games, but now I could do it standing up and slowly spinning in circles! It's like exercise, only with a lot more killing! Look, don't make me have to post that video of the disgusting unknown life-form that is living in that sewer in like North Carolina, or wherever that was. I'm sure some of you have seen the video already (Vye!) and I tell you, it is flat-out unnervingly disgusting. As much as I'd like to, I will spare the rest of you... some things seen can never be unseen... I remember when I first saw it... I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out.

I will, however, embed the newly-released trailer for the new Mechwarrior game that was confirmed today! YAY!!!! Giant robots rampaging through the city! Say hello to higher taxes, for all the repairs! We can't hold out forever, Kup, but we can give them one humongous repair bill!

That is so awesome, you gotta admit that. Go ahead, run into your garage and build a giant mechanized robot weapons platform, obliterate the neighbor's dog and come back... I'll wait...

In keeping with my theme of radical change, I decided to change my desktop wallpapers on my computers tonight. See, that's the kind of hard-hitting, soul-baring, emotionally-jarring info you tune in to read about, I know. Trust me, it's as hard on me to share it as it is for you to read it. But I believe we'll all be better off in the long run for it. So, as of right now, both of my PC's have a black and white winding mountain road photo on them. Yeah, same one for both systems, at the moment. Hey, too much change can bring about cardiac arrest. Don't want to die just yet, thank you... According to medical experts, I could stay like this for a very long time.

Ah, Indian Food leftovers! This post was taking too long to write, so I decided to reheat some of it now. Good stuff. I offered to share some with the little woman, but she flatly refused. Her reason? If I like it, then she'll hate it. Ah, the simple wisdom of the perpetually grumpy...

Hey, remember those Bloom County comic strips I've been threatening to post for the past two days? Well, here they are! And now that they're sufficiently over-hyped, you can skim them without even a chuckle, and wonder what all the fuss was about! The story is Michael Jackson is visiting Bloom County and Opus is sent to try and get MJ's backing for the Bill the Cat/Opus Presidential ticket back in 88. The proverbial "hilarity" ensues.... click to enlarge!


I read yesterday that "they" are finally going to release the complete Bloom County Collection this year. Awesome. My books are either missing or falling apart.

And with that, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am done. I hope your "blood to Dave ratio" is back up into healthy range. Until tomorrow, remember, if the sun comes up tomorrow, it is only because of men of good will. That is all there is between us and the devil.