Friday, July 31, 2009

The Doom is Near at Hand! Isildur's Bane is Found!

Hey, remember that one time I stretched a sock over my head, drew a face on it, lit it on fire, and ran down the road screaming, "I'm a flaming head mummy! I'm a flaming head mummy! Hide your potted plants!" Remember? Yeah, that was great. What? Oh, nuts, I forgot! What happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas... sorry, my mistake. Forget I said it...

And now, some culture...

Fart: A Haiku
by David Wagner
Warm pants, a low mist
An odd aroma, not love

Breathe deep, enjoy

Thank you! Thank you all! If you're good, I may treat you to another before this post is over...

How was my day today? Well, if it were possible to take a day, capture it, take it to Kinkos, pay 89 cents to make a color copy, then take the copy and load it into the slot for the next day, and then live that copied day, so that you can't really tell the difference between the original day and the copy? Yeah, sort of like that. Typical summer day, which is not necessarily a bad thing, considering I live in San Diego... although we could sure use some rain. And a new governor. And heck, some new senators as well. You know what? Just get rid of all the current politicians, from the Governor all the way down to little city councils and school boards, and replace them all with people that know what they're doing and give a crap.

That's the end of my political rant.

Actually, a quick addendum: I think Sarah Palin is retarded. Was she really almost our Vice President? Are you kidding me?

OK, that's the end of the political rants. I promise.

Politicians: A Haiku
by Dave the Turd
Smile, feign great concern
Speaking what you want to hear

We are greedy pricks

Thank you all! Thank you all, from the bottom of my large intestines!

I've been playing a few more practice skirmishes against the computer in Warcraft 3. On the easiest possible difficulty. And I get annihilated every time. On the easiest setting... I know, I know... it breaks my heart as well... cheer up, I shall improve in time. If not, I shall track down a patch that will make the computer opponent brain dead. Or find a tutorial or three that will help me modify my strategy away from my "floundering newbie of doom" approach to something a little more competent...

I Suck at Warcraft 3: A Haiku
by Dave Zug Zug
Many games, click, click
I excel at almost all

Except Warcraft 3

Thank you all! As a reward, Funny Picture Time!

Dang... when they say "all aboard" in India, they aren't kidding around!

I'm enjoying Best Served Cold still.. It's a pretty harsh, action packed tale of pain, betrayal, and revenge - just like real life! There's this one part where the main character [Editing out inconsiderate spoiler], and then her brother was [another spoiler edited out... Dave just doesn't seem to get it], oh, but the best part was when the alchemist went [So help me, if I have to edit one more spoiler...], and it was hilarious! But gross at the same time. That's something I don't understand with Abercrombie... he really doesn't seem to care if his characters just [the next time I see Dave, I will kick him in the groin until he learns...]. But I'm only 150 pages in... I'll let you all know what happens next. [No you won't.]

[Please, No Spoilers: A Haiku
by Dave's Editor

You just don't get it
you spoil without thought or care

I kick your nutsack]

Well, the family is back from their trip to Newport, tanned and happy. Took wifey out to eat tonight, then we walked the mall, eating yogurt with lots of yummies sprinkled on top. You gotta love yogurt with sprinkled yummies on it... and we saw Joseph and his wife Sara there! That was so cool, I haven't seen Joseph in forever. He looked great. And then, as we were leaving, we saw my mom! It was cool. Actually, Marla spotted both Joseph and my mom... I'm so oblivious, I would have just walked right by them both. I just kind of sink into my own little world sometimes, completely clueless... if she hadn't smiled and waved to Joe, he would have thought I ignored him, and it would have sucked. Joe! You're the man! It was great to see you! And mom, you're the man too! Oh, you know what I mean!

What do I have planned for the weekend? Saturday is RebJo's party. Sunday I pick Josh up from the airport in the afternoon. Josh owns, I look forward to meeting him. I hope it's an awesome trip. I think we're going to go to the Padres/Braves baseball game at Petco Park on either Monday or Tuesday, I don't recall. That should be fun; it's a great ballpark. I try to remember to take some pics to post up here. He's staying until Wednesday.

Todayve in History: August 1
- August 1, 1941: The first Jeep is produced.

- August 1, 1944: Anne Frank makes the last entry in her diary. (It was, "Man, Nazi's suck.")

- August 1, 1967: Israel annexes East Jerusalem. (It was about friggin time!)

- August 1, 1988: Rush Limbaugh begins his national radio show. (For better or for worse, depending on how you lean.)

And with that, I am done. Congrats to Havah for winning the Movie Quote Contest for July. I'll try to think up a suitable reward. I assume we shall reset the scoreboard for August, but who knows what tomorrow holds? I may come up with another contest...

Until tomorrow, this is Dave the Scatterbrain, signing off..


Rebekah said...

Wohoo, came in strong with a well earned 28. Take that Paula and Mark, yeah.

Glad you had a good day and the fam is back safe and sound.

Nice work with the Haiku. Almost made me amiable toward toots... almost, almost.

havah said...

I hate to waste some perfectly good quotes, so...

Title is from your favourite character in Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

havah said...

Sounds like you had a good day all round, Dave. I slept. :D

Krista said...

I enjoyed your post, but I'm not really sure what to say....LOL! Loved the Haikus, by the way! Have a great weekend!

Paula Titus said...

Still the funny man!

I think I finished July with something like 3 points - how pathetic. WTG Havah!

Abbie said...

it is interesting that two things in israel's history happened today... oh and I just learned that there was a yogurt self serve at the mall on thursday, lol. I had no idea! I don't go there often lol. Then I was saddened to see that there is no waldenbooks anymore.... Rats!

see you soon dave!!

Joseph said...

It was great to see you too! I saw Marla a ways off and thought That looks like Marla but it can't be because who is that guy next to her?. I had forgotten you shaved your head. You've been from one end of the hair spectrum to the other. It was great, we need to do that more often. I figure if I just camp out at the mall I could see you a couple times a week!

We saw your Mom too and said hi. The mall attracts Wagners it seems.

Oh and Sara's name is h-less. It's ok I didn't tell her so she still respects you...BARELY! ;)

I'm serious about running into you more often, we need to catch up!