Sable? Did she say sable or Gable?
Greetings ladies and gentlemen, Dave here, surprise surprise! Well, who were you expecting? Buddy Hackett? Sheesh!
Thought I'd hop on here and power out another blog post, since I know you can't live without your daily dose of Dave - and I'm sure you've read through the archive so many times, you've committed them all to memory, yes? You have? Really? Ok, that's weird...
The next Big Event is mere hours away. We leave for Albuquerque on Friday morning, 6am or so. As you can imagine, a lot to take care of between now and then. Primarily for me: Get my windshield replaced on my car, wash the car, take the Valar Morghulis license plate frame off my car, take my car up to my dads house so I can swap it for his car, and then it's 'Dave and a Haircut, Two Bits.'
My hair is fairly out of control, like a hideous shrub of doom. No wonder I wear a hat so often! Combine that with the fact that my nose hair grows like bamboo (yeah, about a foot a day, I'd say), and it makes for a self-primping nightmare. Good thing I'm not vain!
OK, I'll wait for you to stop laughing.
Come on, it wasn't THAT funny! OK, I'm vain... sheesh!
It's been long enough since the last Cat Clip, so I think I'll give you another dose...
Wish I knew how to adjust the size of the embedded screen there, so it didn't poke off to the side like that. Oh, well. Cats are cool. Wait until you see the next one... it will be twice as awesome...
No caffeine today... are you proud of me? Only because Starbucks was closed when we went by... still... it showed strength and discipline not to pound on the glass door until they opened up again. Elaine! Elaaaaine!!!! I haven't got a caffeine headache yet, which is nice. Of course, if I was really hooked, I'd go to the corner gas station and buy a Rockstar, but I'm not hooked, so there!
Hmmm.... I could be there and back again in minutes... hmmm...
OK, I won't. But what if I lie awake all night, alone, eyes darting about in the darkness? What would you say to me then, eh? Yeah, I know your kind! You'd torment me, wouldn't you! I can hear it now! "Dave, who knows what you have spoken to the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all your life seems to shrink, the walls of your bower closing in about you, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in?"
Nah, you aren't that verbose. You'd just say, "Ha ha, what a tool!"
Funny Picture Time:
What? You're not a Chuck Norris fan? Man, what is wrong with you tonight! Sheesh, I don't know why I put up with you!
Oh, yeah, now I remember why I put up with you... because you leave comments and thus validate my existence on this planet!
Todayve In History: March 14
- May 14, 1804: The Lewis and Clark Expedition begins it's historic journey by heading up the Missouri River. (I can't decide if I want to do a "Missouri loves company" joke or a reference to the liberals in Oregon, where they saw the Pacific... wait, I could do a play on words with the crappy Oregon weather and the fact that Lewis' first name was Meriwether! Ooh, and then there's the Sacajawea puns! Aw, man, the moment passed...)
- May 14, 1948: Israel is declared to be an independent state. (To life, to life, la chaim!)
- May 14, 1998: The final episode of Seinfeld airs. (You know, I've honestly never watched Seinfeld once... seriously!)
May 14 is also the birthday of Tim Roth and Cate Blanchett - two high quality actors, I'd say. I would post a Tim Roth scene from Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction, but then I'd have to change the rating of this blog to R, and there would go the whole "13 and under" crowd that reads my blog... I can't afford to lose that segment of my readership, sorry. They basically support this blog financially by purchasing all of the bootleg Hannah Montana gear I sell here... you older folks are skin flints...
Hey, I discovered the button that changes font sizes! Cool!
Had a great visit with Uncle Anthony and Aunt Ro tonight over at the Porcelli's house. People from New Jersey are awesome. 'Nuff said.
Well, gonna go save the world before turning in for the night. Until tomorrow, remember, with enough courage, you can do without a reputation.