Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Why Don't You Call Me Sometime When You Have No Class?



Sable? Did she say sable or Gable?

Either one!

Greetings ladies and gentlemen, Dave here, surprise surprise! Well, who were you expecting? Buddy Hackett? Sheesh!

Thought I'd hop on here and power out another blog post, since I know you can't live without your daily dose of Dave - and I'm sure you've read through the archive so many times, you've committed them all to memory, yes? You have? Really? Ok, that's weird...

The next Big Event is mere hours away. We leave for Albuquerque on Friday morning, 6am or so. As you can imagine, a lot to take care of between now and then. Primarily for me: Get my windshield replaced on my car, wash the car, take the Valar Morghulis license plate frame off my car, take my car up to my dads house so I can swap it for his car, and then it's 'Dave and a Haircut, Two Bits.'

My hair is fairly out of control, like a hideous shrub of doom. No wonder I wear a hat so often! Combine that with the fact that my nose hair grows like bamboo (yeah, about a foot a day, I'd say), and it makes for a self-primping nightmare. Good thing I'm not vain!

OK, I'll wait for you to stop laughing.

Come on, it wasn't THAT funny! OK, I'm vain... sheesh!

It's been long enough since the last Cat Clip, so I think I'll give you another dose...



Wish I knew how to adjust the size of the embedded screen there, so it didn't poke off to the side like that. Oh, well. Cats are cool. Wait until you see the next one... it will be twice as awesome...

No caffeine today... are you proud of me? Only because Starbucks was closed when we went by... still... it showed strength and discipline not to pound on the glass door until they opened up again. Elaine! Elaaaaine!!!! I haven't got a caffeine headache yet, which is nice. Of course, if I was really hooked, I'd go to the corner gas station and buy a Rockstar, but I'm not hooked, so there!

Hmmm.... I could be there and back again in minutes... hmmm...

OK, I won't. But what if I lie awake all night, alone, eyes darting about in the darkness? What would you say to me then, eh? Yeah, I know your kind! You'd torment me, wouldn't you! I can hear it now! "Dave, who knows what you have spoken to the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all your life seems to shrink, the walls of your bower closing in about you, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in?"

Nah, you aren't that verbose. You'd just say, "Ha ha, what a tool!"

Funny Picture Time:


What? You're not a Chuck Norris fan? Man, what is wrong with you tonight! Sheesh, I don't know why I put up with you!

Oh, yeah, now I remember why I put up with you... because you leave comments and thus validate my existence on this planet!

Todayve In History: March 14
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- May 14, 1804: The Lewis and Clark Expedition begins it's historic journey by heading up the Missouri River. (I can't decide if I want to do a "Missouri loves company" joke or a reference to the liberals in Oregon, where they saw the Pacific... wait, I could do a play on words with the crappy Oregon weather and the fact that Lewis' first name was Meriwether! Ooh, and then there's the Sacajawea puns! Aw, man, the moment passed...)

- May 14, 1948: Israel is declared to be an independent state. (To life, to life, la chaim!)

- May 14, 1998: The final episode of Seinfeld airs. (You know, I've honestly never watched Seinfeld once... seriously!)

May 14 is also the birthday of Tim Roth and Cate Blanchett - two high quality actors, I'd say. I would post a Tim Roth scene from Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction, but then I'd have to change the rating of this blog to R, and there would go the whole "13 and under" crowd that reads my blog... I can't afford to lose that segment of my readership, sorry. They basically support this blog financially by purchasing all of the bootleg Hannah Montana gear I sell here... you older folks are skin flints... 

Hey, I discovered the button that changes font sizes! Cool!

Had a great visit with Uncle Anthony and Aunt Ro tonight over at the Porcelli's house. People from New Jersey are awesome. 'Nuff said.

Well, gonna go save the world before turning in for the night. Until tomorrow, remember, with enough courage, you can do without a reputation.

20 comments:

Bob the Dunedain said...

Wormtongue - The Two Towers...

just watched it yesterday :D

marky said...

Damn and blast! Does Bob stay with you? You need to be pretty quick off the mark to get in there before him!

Your cat clip isn't there. It must have been chased away by a dog.

Exquisitely funny stuff as usual. Good form old chap.

Bob the Dunedain said...

it's the time zones, marky ;)

marky said...

Then it's game on Bob. I don't need sleep anyway! Your crown shall be pinched. ;->

Bob the Dunedain said...

bring your A-game :P

David Wagner said...

Bob only got one of the quotes... there are more! MUAHAHAH!!!!!

In fact, for every movie quote that slips through unidentified, I get 2 points... let's see how long it takes me to climb to the top of the leader board!

Abbie said...

Alright i'm guessing two:
To life, to life, la chaim! = Fiddler on the Roof
Elaine! Elaaaaine!!! = The Graduate ??? random... don't know if that is right...
looking for more.... hmmmm this is hard!

Abbie said...

and was your "there and back again" a reference to LOTR? Dave, so hard!!!
oh, and i do agree, Tim Roth and Cate Blanchett are awesome ppl :)

David Wagner said...

Interesting... it deleted my comment just now...

Anyway, Abbie gets 10 points! Fiddler and The Graduate are correct!

The "there and back again" wasn't intended to be a quote... I could give you points, but it would set an awkward precedent, I think... better let it slide, sorry.

Keep looking, though!

Abbie said...

Yes! lol, thats fine, its only like, half a quote anyways, since you added "minute" to the line, so it wouldn't count anyways, lol :D
And uncle Ant and Aunt Roe are out! Yes!! they are awesome people!

Abbie said...

Think i found two more!!
Why Don't You Call Me Sometime When You Have No Class? = Back to School
Sable? Did she say sable or Gable? = All about Eve

MUHAHAHA this is fun!!! :D ***evil rubbing of hands*** watch out bob! lol (if they are even right, lol)

David Wagner said...

Abbie gets 10 more points! Uh oh.... Better update the scoreboard tonight...

Actually, my mom gets 5 points also... she got the Back To School quote as well, but she told me a few minutes ago - about the same time you posted your comment, Abbie, so I'll give it to you both...

Bob the Dunedain said...

this just got interesting!!! :D

+ i think this is a new record for number of comments per post ;)

David Wagner said...

Smashed the old record, true...

Hey, I just added a permanent scoreboard on the right there...

Bob the Dunedain said...

that cat clip is in the way :S

Dave-O said...

WOOT WOOT, well I did it sir, i started my blog...the world may not be ready for this...actally i know it isn't but it is in my antarchist nature of things to throw the perverbial monkey wrench into things HAHAHAHAHA. Oh here is the link...
http://dwbryant.blogspot.com/

HOWEVER, here is the disclaimer, I don't censor or cut things out that might "offend people" It is what itis nothing more nothing less. But I think bob might be into getting into a heated discussion a.k.a. argument LOL bring it on, LOL. anyway atleast i ask is give it a shot and tell me what you think...your HONEST opinion.

Vye said...

My honest opinion? I want biceps like yours, with AUTHENTIC BATTLE DAMAGE! I could do without the tats but my desk job doesn't do me any favors.

Dave-O said...

haha why thank you kind sir, LOL but that is an old pic, not to gloat but i am proud of my achievements, they are bigger now, new goal is 19 inches before my birthday. Anywho, the blog will be something to keep my mind on track and we'll see how it goes. Like i said in it, it might just end up me arguing with myself but oh well HAHHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... I checked out the other blog you mentioned. I was going to post a comment but one cannot do it anonymously. So...
GG

David Wagner said...

Who's this "Ann Onymous" I keep hearing about...?