When I Was A Kid, I Used To Think There Was A Baker Under My Bed

"Chapped lips" or "Lapped chips", which one? Or how about "Slapped hips"?

Nice moon, eh? Unfortunately for Dimitri, that is the only moon I'll post in this blog... sorry, Dimitri. Well, and this moon --> (__|__), but that's it. No mas. I'm not sure that picture is a legit pic - I think it's a photoshop. I can't imagine a moon bright enough to take a pic like that.. still, me likey. So long, Earth. Catch you on the flip side...

It's been a good day today, so far. It's still early afternoon as I write this, but I like to post while I can. Things are in such flux here, there's no way to guess where I'll be from one hour to the next. 

Wifey took Mother-In-Law to get her eye lasered this morning. While they were gone, the rest of us did something very familiar... we hit the nearby mall to grab grub at the food court. Although without wifey there, it felt just... wrong. Like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse. We did the "happy mall wanderer" routine for a while until one of the kids felt sick, which was our cue to bail. 

Came home, dumped the kids off, got back in the car and got the heck out! I went to get a haircut. There's a strip mall nearby, so I went into a generic hair salon place and got me a $10 snip. I feel 10 pounds lighter! Then I hit up a nearby Starbucks (hello, Mr. Macchiato!) and was pleased to see a book store nearby. Ah, is there anything better than the feeling you get walking into a cavernous book store? Ah, so many books, so little time!

Yes, Laythe, I know... I have the Terry Brooks book with me, I'm getting to it soon. But I can't resist a liesurely browse at a book store. I ended up buying a couple books by someone named Scott Lynch: The Lies of Locke Lamora and Red Seas Under Red Skies. I've seen them recommended online before, and so I bought them for future reading. They need to age on my shelf at home for a while, next to the others.

The Borders bookstore I went to had some great quotes painted up on the wall. The two best ones I saw were: "When I get near the end of a great book, I have to sleep in the same room with it," which was said by some lady whose name I swore I would remember. Guess I better try to google it, hold on... found it. Jane Didion. 

The other quote was by Groucho Marx, which is hilarious: "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read."

Loved it. 

I checked the release date on the upcoming Joe Abercrombie book, Best Served Cold. It comes out July 14. I asked about ordering it from overseas (since it comes out in June in the UK) and they said it's a hassle and the shipping costs are more than the book itself. So it looks like I wait. Better get on that Brooks book soon... "OK... what if I did have a book down my trousers. What then?"

I've been so paranoid about driving my Dad's car. I mean, "lock it in a vault and don't touch it" type of paranoid. And yet, it seems, God is set on turning my paranoia on it's head, and it is a giant distress to me. First, wifey was driving through Payson AZ, and the speed limit suddenly plunged, followed quickly by a flashing light at a speed limit sign. We think she got a ticket. After the angst of that wore off, and we arrived in ABQ, I was paranoid about parking it anywhere where it was at risk of getting a door ding. If it was my car, I couldn't care less - which is obvious by the amount of dings in the door of my own car. But I REALLY didn't want one in Dad's car. 

Alas, I had to park in a full lot one night on base, and I came down the next morning to a ding in the door. My heart dropped into my stomach, and I practically crumbled. DANGIT! I kept checking, hoping it was my imagination. Nope, there it is. I *sincerely* hope it can come out.

So my paranoia about the car re-doubled and I became impossible. I bet you know what I'm going to say next... 

Yep, I was driving yesterday, and I was waiting to turn right, to enter cross traffic at a major street. Three lanes, each direction. The closest lane was clear, but cars were approaching in lane two and three. Normally, I would, like a pansy, wait until all three lanes were clear before pulling into traffic, but someone pulled up behind me and I got nervous. The first lane was clear, so in I went. Again, remember the paranoia... so I wanted to avoid pulling out too far and getting hit, so I ended up cutting the turn a bit too close and kissed the curb. I didn't think anything of it until later, when I saw the underside of the edge of the bumper, by the front passenger side wheel. Sure enough, a scrape. And I can't even blame wifey. It was all me.

So, what can I do? I considered flinging myself off of a downtown roof, but I decided that might be an over-reaction. Instead, I will photograph the ding and the scrape, email them to my dad so he isn't surprised upon our return, and hope for the best. I will, of course, cover whatever costs to repiar the damage.

:O "You scratched my car!"

"Where?"

"Right there!"

"Oh. That was already there."

So that leaves several more days of potential disasters. I'm a wreck.

Better change subjects. Here's a Funny Picture:

Sorry, I know it's wrong, but it's also funny...

Hmm... I still feel bad about the car... I better put in a cat clip. See if that helps...

Hmm. That didn't work either. Perhaps if you told him I ran the second largest banking house in Amsterdam...

Well, I suppose I'll call it a day. I trust the rest of your week will proceed smoothly. 

Until then: How could I forget you? You're the only person I know!