Friday, May 29, 2009

And Don't Cross the Road if you Can't Get Out of the Kitchen.

"Talk show" or "Shock toe", you decide...

Aw, isn't that picture sweet? A dad and his son. Or, like, an older brother and his younger brother, if like the mother got divorced and remarried and had a son with each hubby... and now the older one resents the younger one for what he represents, and the younger one is a brat because the parents buy him anything he wants, and all they do is harp at the older one all day because he leaves his socks and underwear in the hallway! They're hard on him because to the mom, the older son represents the pain of a failed marriage, and to the new hubby, he's a daily reminder of his wife's union with another man, and it's just not fair! And the younger son just wants the older one to like him and stop playing pranks on him and pouring salt in his hair and farting on his toothbrush, but the older one is just as confused and is lashing out in the only ways he knows how... well, that and the drugs.

Nah, I like the "father & son" angle better...

I won't lie, I would have loved to have had a son to go along with my wonderful daughters. Someone to teach all my best/worst puns to, someone to pass wind and laugh with (in "two fart harmony" no less), someone to give my baseball card collection to, someone to teach to ollie a skateboard, someone to leave the seat up with, someone to complain about women with...

Ah, but it is not meant to be. I guess I could build a reasonable facsimile out of legos. Or I could make my character in my comic strip have a son and enjoy it vicariously through that. Meh, that's kind of pathetic, actually. I'll stick with the legos...

Ah, leftover spaghetti at 9pm! Looks like I'll be reading well into the night tonight, since eating this late is basically inviting my good pal Acid Reflux to join me for a few long hours... Guess I'll get more work done on the Piranha newsletters too...

Don't you hate it when you have a headache, and you pop an ibuprofen and settle in for a nice nap and just when you are drifting off, the phone rings? Don't you hate that? Then you dart around in a daze, trying to locate one of the cordless handsets, and the phone is ringing and subconsciously you realize that you have exactly 4 rings to find it before the machine picks up, and you don't know how to shut it off once it starts and you finally get the handset just as the machine gets it, so you fling the handset across the room and go over to the machine to see who it is and they've already hung up so you don't even know who it was? Don't you hate that? And then you can't get back to sleep, so you decide to get on the computer instead to see if anyone left new comments on your blog, but they didn't, so you try to take the edge off of your grumpiness by playing a few rounds of Battlefield 2, but you suck because you're still groggy and can't focus?

Don't you hate that?

It wasn't one of you that called, was it? O_o? Well, leave a message next time! Sheesh! That's what the machine is for!

Funny Picture Time:


Yeah, yeah, I know... "Another animal picture? WTF!" Well, what can I say... animals are funny. Even horses are funny. Except when they leave a pile of road apples on your favorite suit jacket. And don't even try to get them to drink once you've led them to water. And you know the old grey mare? She ain't what she used to be, that's for sure...

I've been nosing around for some more cool blogs to read and recommend. When I find some good ones, I'll link them here, in case you have little-to-no life (like me) and thus spend an inordinate amount of time cruisin around the web, checking stuff out. That reminds me, Paula's blog is very funny and enjoyable to read... if you haven't checked it out, by all means, do so! But watch out for the post on toenail fungus... it's a funny post, but the pictures are yucky!

It's all part of my quest to find the funniest and most uplifting things on the web for you to read and be deeply enriched by. Like this encouraging gem!



Glad I could help!

Todayve In History: May 30
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- May 30, 1911: The first Indianapolis 500 takes place. (It's like a Merry-Go-Round... only with more crashes!)

- May 30, 1922: The Lincoln Memorial is dedicated in Washington DC. (Definitely not like a Merry-Go-Round...)

In honor of Mel Blanc's birthday (1908), I'm going to post this clip from the Tonight Show from 1974, when Carson is interviewing Jack Benny and Mel Blanc about the old days...



Some of those old school guys were awesome. Again, let me pimp the TV Legends interviews that the Archive of American Television has accumulated, of many/most of the greats from the history of TV, many of whom are no longer alive. A very fun and engrossing resource, if you ever have time to kill.

Well, I suppose I'm going to pull the plug on tonight. Thanks for stopping by, eh! Until tomorrow, remember, I don't want to know nothing! I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony! All I care about is... are you happy with your haircut?

7 comments:

Paula Titus said...

Thanks for the right-up! Rubber check is in the mail :)

I think your sentence there round about the middle may be one of the longest I've ever seen - too funny!

I love those old clips with the legends of comedy, they don't make hilarity like that anymore (present company excluded). I was just watching several yesterday of Dean Martin's Roasts with that old guy who pretends to be drunk all the time, oh what was his name?

Paula Titus said...

err..change "right" to "write"..did I mention it's 2:58 AM hear? I mean here.

David Wagner said...

Go to bed! Whatsamattuh you!

Dave-O said...

BUHAHAHAHAHAHA, good stuff sir good stuff. Is it bad that I re-read my blogs and enjoy them? HAHAHA seriously, I almost want to comment on them, then I remember that they are mine. LOL But my comments would be grammer or spellin corrections haha oh well. Love the old clip, those old guys are the best.

Avari said...

My mom showed me a picture of that horse with extensions. I thought that one was definitely the funniest out of the red haired one and the white haired one.

Grace said...

hmmm, do i detect some more serious undertones in your first paragraphs? resenting younger brothers? wanting sons?
why would you want a son? then your daughters would have a younger brother to resent? besides, your son would be way to pretty. i mean, look at the girls. or he would have a complex because he was normal looking and they were all super gorgeous

my dad took us camping when we were young so there is still hope if you want to teach the 3 year how to fart!

Grace said...

I meanth the 3 year old how to fart

gentleman...haircut...-the rock

are you going to comic-con this year?