Thursday, May 14, 2009

This Is Great... Now We Gotta Surrender Our Socks...



"A pack of lies" or "A lack of pies", which one?

You now have 16 minutes to reach minimum safe distance...

Albuquerque, here we come! Estimated time of departure, 6 am Pacific time! As I mentioned before, my dad is letting us borrow one of his cars, and it's a really nice one. We'll be traveling in style for sure. It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

Hit it.

Should be a good trip - haven't been back to see wifey's family since the Fall of Saigon - I mean, the fall of '07. We usually go back for the Balloon Fiesta, which is the only time of year that the city is packed and finding lodging is a problem. We skipped the fiesta last fall so we could go in Spring this year for Cousin's high school graduation. So getting lodging on the military base shouldn't be a problem, right? Well, guess when they decided to remodel all the houses on base, lol... ah, 'tis the little things that drive a man to drink. By "drink" of course, I mean Rockstar and Starbucks. In fact, I should take a Rockstar into Starbucks and have them make me an energy drink frappuccino. Rockstarbucks! Owned. My heart would likely explode. Of course, when I told my mother I was getting married to my wife, her intestines exploded. So it runs in the family...

Man, the new Movie Quote Game is sure off to a good start! You all got 5 out of the 6 quotes, which means I get 2 points for the one that got through unidentified. Of course, I refer to my closing line yesterday about "courage and reputation", which came from Gone With The Wind. I suppose I could make it *really* difficult and add TV and music lyric quotes... but then you'd all hate me, and conspire together to kill me and collect on my life insurance...

I smile when I think of some of you copy/pasting some of my random comments into Google, in an effort to see if I happen to be quoting a movie line, lol. Maybe I should break down and put quote marks around them... we'll see...

18 comments yesterday! Blew the old record right out of the water!

Here's another Cat Clip for you... and if I space it "just right", perhaps I can have it obscure the Scoreboard in the right margin again... MUAHAHAHA!!!!!


Sweet... through trial and error, I figured out how to shrink the embed size. And since yesterday's video didn't appear for more than one of you, I'll post the direct link for this clip HERE, and the link to yesterday's clip HERE.

As some of you may have seen, the Infamous Dave-O has started a blog (after much whining and complaining by me), and it is not for the faint of heart. Enter if you dare! You're off the edge of the map, mate! Here there be monsters! MUAHAHAHA!!!!!

Funny Picture Time:


The reason a XBox 360 controller is funny? Well, it's actually a bar of soap... and it is Mountain Dew scented to boot! Here's the link, if you don't believe me... I've never really been much for console games (sorry, Joseph), I'm more of a PC man. No, I didn't say I'm Pac Man, sheesh! I've never eaten a ghost in my whole life. I have eaten a bouncing pretzel before, though...

Reality TV gives me gas. I don't think there's a reality show that my wife and kids will not watch. Their latest passion is "Real Housewives of ____" fill in the blank. I try and do the "family dad" thing and come in and sit with them "as a family" to watch some TV with them, you know, to relate to them and all. I can last about 4 minutes before I'm driven away by the relentless bombardment of suckiness. I have no clue how they not only tolerate it, but seem to thrive on it. It's like a slow, relentless, solid kick to the groin. Reminds me of this scene from the first Austin Powers movie...



I sit there on the couch, watching, screaming inside, slowly being steamrolled by the lumbering juggernaut of bad, bad TV... Then I flee to the relative safety of my office, and seal the door behind me. A few hours of the "video game stare" can usually cure the aftereffects of such exposure.

Well, by mid-day tomorrow, we should be enjoying the accomodations of a nice Hilton hotel in Phoenix, compliments of my sister, who not only arranged our overnight stay on the way there, but on the way back again a week later as well, plus she's footing it too, as a gift. Isn't that awesome? Well, to me it is... Anyway, I'll be sure to sign up for internet access and post an update tomorrow, just to keep the streak alive. We're going streaking! OK, not that kind of streaking, sorry... wouldn't want to get arrested... nah, I want my first arrest to be for bank robbery... or Rank Bobbery, one of the two... Speaking of "rank", what is that horrid stink? I wonder if there's a nasty bog nearby... can you smell it?

Todayve In History: May 15
--------------------------------
- May 15, 1718: James Puckle (a London lawyer) patent's the world's first machine gun. (He immediately filed a lawsuit against himself to prevent it's manufacture. He won/lost the suit.)

- May 15, 1905: Las Vegas is founded. (Let the hedonism begin!)

- May 15, 1928: Mickey Mouse premieres in his first cartoon. (Let the annoying musicals begin!)

- May 15, 1940: McDonald's opens it's first restaurant. (Let the artery clogging begin!)

By the way, Abbie, you recommended American Born Chinese a few days ago. I found this page on Google Book Search, which has scans of a good portion of the book. Looks good. May have to borrow Rebecca's copy, if she'll trust me enough to part with it...

Well, I guess that's that for tonight. Until tomorrow, I remind you to please remain seated at all times, with arms and legs inside the car...

14 comments:

Abbie said...

First commenter! yes!! and I know a quote without looking it up! haha, it's a good thing LOTR is so quoteable, lol :D
"I wonder if there's a nasty bog nearby... can you smell it?" = Samwise Gamgee in Two Towers :)
Yeah, i think you'll really like the book! :) Have a great trip okay?!?!?! I'll see you in like a month, 'cause you're leaving then I'm leaving, lol :D Be safe!

Joseph said...

Saving Private Ryan. I don't Google, Dave. I just say no.

I'm glad you updated rather early so I have a chance. I used to check your blog in the mornings, when it still had that fresh post smell. Now I sleep in a little more though so I have to save my heaping bowl O' Dave for later.

I'm there with ya on Housewives, thankfully my wife doesn't swing that way. I forgive you for your console comment. You know not what you do.

Enjoy New Mexico.

David Wagner said...

5 points for Abbie and for Joe! Uh oh... what will Bob say... good thing there are plenty more for him to find...

Next stop, Phoenix! Adios y'all...

Dave-O said...

i have to leave this one first....

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

Hit it." Blues brothers...and i didn't have to google it :D

Bob the Pirate said...

"Here there be monsters" is from Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl :D

Dave-O said...

"We're going streaking!" - OLD SCHOOL

marky said...

Enjoy Phoenix, Sir. Yet again I am beaten. You can take away my points, but you'll never take my freeeeeedommmm!!!

Dave-O said...

sorry for the spamin of the comments but I wanted to post the easy ones before bob got them LOL. Have a safe trip to New Mexico...wonder where OLD MEXICO is? or how it's doin, never hear about it....LOL anywho keep'em comeing sir.

marky said...

Hey! I just read one of your old posts about Bono in Glasgow. I always go to see U2 when they're here, and I can confirm that somebody shouting 'well stop doing it then’ is an urban myth.

I do remember a lot of people moaning about how he should stick to the music though.

I was at a U2 gig years ago during their pop-mart tour. It was around the same time as Princess Di died. Bono called for a two minutes silence only to be met with boo's. The English royal family doesn't go down that well in Scotland or Ireland. You think he'd have known that, being Irish and all.

Anyway, just thought I'd let you know.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Phoenix...
Remember to leave it the way you found it...or better. Haha. Just kidding.

Ann Onymous (so much more creative- I like.)

Abbie said...

your kitty clips are awesome! i liked todays better than yesterdays though... :) so cute!! don't you want a cat now, lol :D

Vye said...

Nope.

Avari said...

Dude I thought that controller was made of ice cream with like little m&m's or candies for the colored part. Lol that would be sick if it was ice cream because then.. you could eat it. Oh and referring to your comment on reality t.v., I couldn't agree more. I feel like dying after seeing all the unnecessary drama.

David Wagner said...

Got to Phoenix in one piece, twas a good trip.

10 points to Dave-O, 5 points to Bob-O... looks like I'm cruisin' to score some points myself as well... MUAHAHAHA!!!!

Marky: I was hoping I'd get your input on the U2 story... didn't think it would end up being a myth, though! How sad... it sounded so plausible...

Ann-O: I spent a year in Phoenix back in 89, during my stint in "art school". That was the year that changed everything... mixed feelings about the place. Yes, it's as hot as I remember it being...

Abbie: Looks like we need to buy Vye a kitten, eh?

Avari: Someday I will figure out who you are... someday... MUAHAHAHA!!!!