Your Vote of Confidence is Overwhelming...

"Waimea Bay" or "Why I may obey," which one?

Thursday slides glacially toward it's traditional end, as Friday swings three bats in the on-deck circle, studying the pitcher. Yay! Mixed metaphors! I never metaphor I didn't like...

It was actually a very interesting day today. For starters, I got two points for a movie quote that snuck through! "For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings 'When a Man Loves a Woman.'" is a line from Office Space (In reference to Michael Bolton, not Bruce). So there's that about it. Plus, 30 comments yesterday! Nice! That's actually 53 over 2 days! Man, I must be, like, really cool or something! (I'd vote for "or something" lol) I know, I know.. if it wasn't for the Movie Quote contest, it would just be me and my mom hanging out here, going 'so whatcha wanna do? I dunno... whatcha wanna do?' Well, at least she'd be commenting again!

Nice to see Grace again! Just about everyone has checked in lately, except for Joseph! Say it ain't so, Joe! I was talking to my mommy today about the fact that my wife and kids simply will not read this blog, period, no matter how much I ask them. I've been pondering it at length, and I think I have a theory.

The Short Version: They know the real, day-to-day me, and they instinctively think that I hide most of that... if I presented the real me, you'd see someone a lot more angry, frustrated, bitter and inconsiderate. Whether they would acknowledge it or not, I'm sure they assume I'm presenting a sanitized version of myself here, not the occasionally grumpy, ugly, depressed person they get the thrill of seeing more often than they'd like... This blog is a lie to them, I think. I mean, if I were "the real me" on here, no one would want to read it.

That's my theory. Perhaps it has no substance and is a figment of my own paranoia + low self-image. Perhaps it's some other reason entirely. Perhaps it is 100% accurate. I can't help but take it personally that my own wife/kids shows zero interest in what goes on here, even when I ask them to check it out. I try to make it fun, entertaining, amusing and occasionally thought-provoking. I'm sure some of my bitterness and cynicism leaks though quite regularly. I am just a regular dude, never claimed to be otherwise. I am not an animal! I am a human being!

Ah, well, there's worse problems to have. The good part about wifey never reading this is that now I can start a new regular segment called "Embarrassing Personal Things About My Wife That She'd Kill Me If She Knew I Was Sharing." Why not? She'll never know, unless one of you tattles on me! Me? Go G? On you? Never!

By the way, that weightlifter in the clip two days ago? I didn't mention that he was lifting 1,100 pounds. Lest you think he was just lifting a couple hundred pounds worth of Goodyear tires... On a related note, I embedded the I Have A Dream clip in a permanent place on the sidebar - even though the song has been stuck in my head for a record-smashing 4 consecutive days. Any longer, and you'll have to visit me in the loony bin... Did you lose you mind all at once, or was it a slow, gradual process? Plus I added links to Paula's and Dave-O's blogs in the links bar. I'll add one to Shannons also...

Paula's post today is hilarious. I highly recommend reading it.

Speaking of blogs, I was nosing around on Warmonger Smurf's blog, and checked out some of his links, and found a site called This Is Why You're Fat. O... M... G... People post pictures of the most artery-clogging, heart attack-inducing culinary howitzer-blasts you ever seen. Check some of this out... (Sorry about the formatting... this stretch theme is crazy with the picture placement...)

That first one is called Hawaiian Meatloaf Sandwich: Meatloaf with Macaroni Salad, Gravy and Pineapple on a bun.

The second one is a Deep-Fried Cheeseburger on a Stick.

The third is (I kid you not) a Bacon Chocolate Cake. Foreign contaminant! Things have taken a turn for the surreal...

I dare you to go to that site and scroll down, looking at the pictures. They are STUNNING. I would paste more in here, but I have other stuff to get to... besides, just looking at the pics could induce acid indigestion...

There's also a very amusing (to me) site caled Domo Nom Nom, that shows Domo Kun eating random things. Go there and click the "Random Nom Nom" button several times, and chuckle with me! It went straight for the warhead, and they think it's cute.

Got something interesting in the mail today.

Check this out:

I wrote a Christmas Play many years ago called The Beginning, and it was one of many scripts I made available for free on a Christian drama website called Dramatix.org. Anyway, every year I get dozens of emails from people letting me know they are using one of my scripts at their holiday church service, which never ceases to humble and amaze me. I've had scripts translated into several different languages, and have been performed all over the world. It's really cool, actually.

Anyway, this lady from a big church up in Oregon asked me last fall if she could modify my script of The Beginning so she could make a bigger production out of it. I said, "sure". She was grateful. I thought that was as far as it would go. But she sent me this package today, including the modified script, the program and a DVD of the performance, along with a nice card. She wants feedback, and wants to know if she can try to get her version published.

I need your advice, y'all. Her version sucks. I mean, it's really bad. At first, I thought it was just because I despise musicals in general. Then I thought it was because she added a whole new major storyline, and butchered the dialog of mine that she did use. She must go to an enormous church - the cast alone was over 60 people, then there was the crew of set builders, seamstresses, greeters, musicians, singers, etc. A massive cast and crew, great costumes and sets, terrific sound (everyone was miked!), a truly huge production that I can tell she is immensely proud of. It was so hard for me to watch, I had to leave the room repeatedly during the 75 minute run time.

When we did it, it was very low budget, tight, funny, awesome. It included many of the people that frequent this blog, including Joseph, Abbie, Vye... maybe I'm just so familiar with the way I did it that it's hard to see past it and appreciate what someone can do with something I've written. Should I give her feedback? How honest should I be? If I tactfully avoid my honest opinion, will that be transparent, or will she just hear what she wants to hear, you think? She went to a lot of trouble to send me this stuff... how should I respond?

I should rip some of the scenes and post them here, so you can see/judge for yourselves... whatever happens, I must not cry. You cannot make me cry...

You did so well advising me about the camp thing, I thought I'd hit you up again... by the way, I decided it was a good idea to just ask Lloyd straight up. Why not? You have not because you ask not...

Todayve In History: June 5

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- June 5, 70AD: Titus and his Roman legions breach the middle wall of Jerusalem during the seige that ends with the destruction of Herod's Temple. (Destroy this temple and I will raise it again in three days!)

- June 5, 1944: More than 1,000 British bombers drop 5,000 tons of bombs on the Normandy beaches in preparation for the D-Day invasion. (Keep those actions clear. I'll see you on the beach.)

- June 5, 1956: Elvis Presley introduces his single Hound Dog on the Milton Berle Show.

- June 5, 1967: The Six Day War begins, as the Israeli Air Force launches pre-emptive attacks on Egypt, Jordan and Syria. (It's been more than 30 years since the wolf and the winter cold...)

- June 5, 1989: The Unknown Rebel halts the progress of advancing tanks for over 30 minutes near Tiananmen Square. (Your commie has no regard for human life, not even his own.)

In honor of Mark Wahlberg's 38th birthday, here is a scene from Shooter (since I'm reading the book...):

Well, I got more stuff for you, but I think I'll save it for tomorrow. No sense making an already-long post longer still. Here... I cannot self-terminate. You must lower me into the steel...

Until tomorrow, remember, a girl can't get married in flannel!