Friday, June 12, 2009

Nothing Like a Bit of Brutal Honesty...


"Depressed" or "Deep rest," which one?

The week ends abruptly, like a face plant, and just as painfully. And like a face plant, it's funny for everyone else watching...

This is the part where I decide how honest to be... Well, let's see how diplomatic I can be about it...

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Dr. Mealymouth: So, tell me, Dave... how are you feeling today. I mean, be honest...

Dave: Well, Doctor, honestly, I'm feeling, like, a lot of really strong, negative emotions today... a lot of angst... basically, I wanna break stuff and throw a tantrum like a spoiled, pathetic little child.

Dr. Mealymouth: I see. Well, here's a prescription for a designer medication I created. It's a combination of Riddlin, Tinactin, Ibuprofen, Viagra and pez. See you next week.

[Dave kicks Dr. Mealymouth in the nether-regions and walks away.]

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It's just one of those days, let me leave it at that. Can't really explain it (nor would it be worth reading), it's just what it is: accumulated angst, primarily but not exclusively marital/financial in nature. 'Nuff said.

So, how's the weather?

(Oooh! 10 points for Dave for the smooth, crafty segue!)

Dang, I better throw a Funny Picture in here, before it get's even more awkward...


How's that? Too esoteric? Too "math nerd"? How about this one...


Too pedestrian? Too predictable? Well, how about this...


Too vague? Too much testosterone? See, it's a play on words... The Hulk mashed up with Hulk Hogan, from wrestling... see it now? Funny, right? Right? Are you laughing yet?

Yeah, me neither...

Hmm... time to dig out a classic clip...



Yeah, watching that a few times is starting to help...

OK, now how about a cat clip...


Yeah, that helped... good-for-nothin', peanut-stealing cat...

And now, a gratuitous, "feel-good", dripping-with-vapidity-but-pretty-to-look-at clip to cap it off...


OK, that works.

I'm going to leave it at that tonight... no sense risking getting any of my angst on you - you have enough problems. No movie quotes tonight, sorry. I'm going to watch these clips a bunch more times, then go the heck to bed.

Until tomorrow, remember, life really is like a box of chocolates: you put enough heat on it and it melts and looks like a box of ...

5 comments:

Avari said...

Wow Dave, sorry your day sucked. Just remember that Jesus is the only one who can fulfill your needs. I know that is hard to practice and sounds kind of dumb but... well whatever.
That video of the kid running into the wall made me laugh so hard. I watched it over and over again. And man sticky notes are expensive. How did they afford that? Lots of pretty colors.

Well Dave, I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Bobinho said...

i would disagree, shannon... but it probably wouldn't help :)

take care, dave!

Paula Titus said...

What Avari said about Jesus, and the cat video is cute - no wonder I like dogs better. Sure, dogs may not be as clever - but at least I know my peanuts are safe.

Anonymous said...

step over it Dave..you are a miracle... and we can see you..the bad days are there so you can appreciate the good ones..you know, like the fat/thin thing...if you want to look thin then get a fat friend..now go make Maggie laugh...

Abbie said...

hey dave!
sorry to hear you had an icky day :P thats a bummer... you should have come to parent's day, liz's play would have made you laugh :D hadassah and melissa and sarah all had killer accents and it was very funny... my favorite of all her plays for sure :) see you trmw.