Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Just Speaking the Vernacular of the Peasantry



"Singing in the rain" or "Ringing in the Seine", which one?

You see, the Seine is a river in Paris, see... and... if you go swimming in it, you are considered to be "in Seine"...

You see, "seine" is pronounced "sane", which makes the second joke a nice little multilingual pun, see... "In Seine"... "insane"...

You see, "multilingual" means it works only if you have a working grasp of two languages, so it is a really risky joke to attempt... but it's a risk I'm willing to take for this blog! You are worth it!

Another day of deliveries today at the rug shop - albeit a very easy one. No crazy rainbow-striped clouds today. But we did have a couple peals of crazy-loud thunder, which never ceases to tickle me. I love it. It hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. Always reminds me of getting shelled by artillery... only, you know, safer and less pants-filling. A little less, anyway. Certainty of death... small chance of success... what are we waiting for!?

Played some more Battlefield 2 tonight, inching my way toward my next rank. Pretty soon, you'll have to all refer to me as "Sergeant Major Wagner" or else I'll make you do push-ups 'til you puke. And I won't go any easier on you if you're a female! No sissy "girl pushups" around here! Full-on "toes and fingertips" pushups, and lots of them! I haven't given my life to the Corps so that I can take lip from the likes of you maggots!

'Maggots' might be too harsh, sorry. Meh, insects don't have politics. They're brutal. Besides, from up here, you all look like little ants!

My BF2 accuracy has finally dipped below 19%, unfortunately. Man, what a blow to my ego. 18.97% as of today, with 580 hours, 36 minutes and 14 seconds total time logged in game. Holy mackerel... if I did that non-stop, it would take me almost 25 days to log that time! That's either really impressive or really pathetic! Of course, I've been playing the game since August 20 2005, so that's not bad, really... if you look at the global scoreboard, there are several on the list that have logged a jaw-dropping 6,000+ hours. Makes my 580 look like a weekend LAN party...

But back to accuracy, the average seems to be about 25% among those that have played tons, though there are people with up to 90%. 18.97%... man. Guess I should write a poem about it... pay attention and you will see how genius creates a legend...

My Accuracy Sucks: A Poem by David L. Wagner
--------------------------------------------------
Locked and loaded, gunbelt bloated, aiming down the barrel,
Teammates goaded, shells exploded, leading them through peril,
Taunting, dissing, mocking, kissing, make the Red Team dismal!
Firing, missing, pinging, hissing - gawd, my aim's abyssmal!

O, come on... don't tell me you guys don't also deal with dissappointment by writing poems... come on, admit it. You don't? Well how do you deal with it then? Answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man!

Well, I guess I could always take up pen spinning instead...


Congratulations! You have just won the gold, silver and bronze in the Moron Olympics!

Todayve In History: June 4
----------------------------------
- June 4, 1070: Roquefort cheese first created in a cave near Roquefort, France. (Leave it to the French to take note of important dates in Cheese History...)

- June 4, 1783: The Montgolfier brothers launch the first hot-air balloon. (Again, the French! Who knew they've contributed so much to the world! Cheese and hot air! And hairy-legged women!)

- June 4, 1896: Henry Ford takes his first Ford through the streets of Detroit. (I'm a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics!)

- June 4, 1940: German forces enter Paris. (And they weren't there for the cheese, hot air, or hairy women...)

- June 4, 1984: Bruce Springsteen releases Born In the USA. (*respect* Great album. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings "When A Man Loves A Woman"...)

Speaking of great music, here is a video for ya - the opening scene from the 1995 movie Desperado, with Antonio Banderas. He's "singing" a Los Lobos song. Quite cool, I think, and funny when he decks the guy with his guitar in the middle of the song without missing a beat...



That reminds me... every Spanish song I hear, in any context, seems to have the word "corazon" in it... has anyone else noticed that? Next time you are listening to a Spanish song, even if you don't know the language, listen for the word "corazon"... I'll bet you 9 times out of 10, it will be in the lyrics. It's the Spanish word for "heart", and one time a Spanish friend told me it was because the Spanish are just filled with love. Sounds like a good explanation. Or, it could just be that it's such a fun word to say... "corazon"... for correct pronunciation, check with Antonio in the movie clip...

Something dawned on me today... I'm going to the annual church camp later this month. It's a week long. We are not supposed to bring any iPods, hand-held game units, notebook computers or any other gadgets... I'm torn. Last year, everyone brought them anyway, and no one said boo. But it's a rule, and I'm a counselor (as well as videographer). If I abide by the rules, I won't be able to update my blog for a week. If I join the crowd and break the rules, I can use the campsites free wireless internet to continue my daily updates (thus, not breaking my resolution).

So, do the "right thing", and leave you hanging for a week - and hope that all or most of you will pick it back up again after the break... or break the rules to keep the streak alive... is the streak really that important, I ask myself... if I take a week off, will anyone remember to start reading again or move on? Is having readers really that important? What's the purpose of this blog to begin with? Is it for me or others, or both? If nobody reads it, will I still write it? Will anyone care if I miss updating for a week? If I don't come back, tell mother I love her...

Hmm... Well, reverend, looks like you've got yourself surrounded! A sticky wicket indeed!

Funny Picture Time!


I like the little "FREE" on the sign. That could be me, I guess... although there are probably topics I'd feel too uncomfortable talking about with random people... can't think of one off-hand, but I'd feel dishonest to make such a blanket statement like that without thoroughly pondering the possibilities. That guy is fearless... must be the beard.

I guess that's it for me today. Great job, everyone, on the movie quotes yesterday. You nicked all 12. Until tomorrow, remember, control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac!

32 comments:

Avari said...

It hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body= Titanic

Avari said...

Certainty of death... small chance of success... what are we waiting for!?=LOTR

Avari said...

pay attention and you will see how genius creates a legend = Shakespeare in love

David Wagner said...

And a quick 15 points for Shannon! You're all business tonight, lady...

Avari said...

WHEW! Sorry for the multiple comments Dave but I wasn't going to wait one second to post this time since I kept losing by like 2 min or less than a min last time (btw thank you for the tie point, that was crazy). Dude I would totally do something like trying to pull that pen out haha, moronic.
About the camp thing. I would check and make sure it is a die hard rule for everyone including the counselors because I know a lot of the counsels don't follow the rules and it is mainly set up for the kids attending. If you count t.v. as an electronic I'm pretty sure there were in charge counselors who got to watch t.v. Also, no one was supposed to leave but some counselors got to sleep off camp grounds. Anyway I would just explain to them about your resolution and see what they say.
*liked your poem :)

Bobinho said...

"Answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man" is from Full Metal Jacket! :)

btw, loved your poem! go, dave, go! :D

Bobinho said...

"Well, reverend, looks like you've got yourself surrounded" is from The Searchers

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0049730/

i love john wayne westerns! :D

Bobinho said...

last but not least:

"control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac" is from Days of Thunder!

glad i could help :P

PS: break the rules dave... keep the blog alive!!!

David Wagner said...

And Bob scoops up his 15 points!

Thanks for the encouragement, Bob. Glad you and Shannon liked the poem...

Still 7 more (at least) movie quotes in there to scrap over...

marky said...

What's the use of having rules if you can't break them? A week isn't that long. Come tomorrow, I've not updated in a whole month! Can you smell my pride?

Eh, the word ‘Will’, from good Will hunting? In fact, I could use words like 'Free', as in free Willy, or 'corazon', from Desperado!:-)

Come on, a sneaky point for being a pedantic dick?

David Wagner said...

Done.

Update your blog, Marky! I love to read your shtuff! I did catch a whiff of your pride, but the fan is on, sorry... blew it away before I could savor it... must have been the haggis...

Bobinho said...

at least 7 more quotes??? you gotta be kidding me :S

btw, is there an upper limit how many points you can get per day?

Bobinho said...

found another one!

"from up here, you all look like little ants" is from A Bug's Life

Woot!

Bobinho said...

and "Congratulations! You have just won the gold, silver and bronze in the Moron Olympics" is from 101 Dalmatians! :D

Burn, baby, buuuuuuuuuuurn!! :D

Bobinho said...

and "If I don't come back, tell mother I love her" is from No Country for Old Men :D

uh, that's gotta hurt, abbie :P

David Wagner said...

Bob, you shmoe! Yes, the limit per day is 3 quotes (15 points)! You just helped someone else get 10 more points! Let's see who claims them first...

The NEW RULE appeared in the June 1st post, when I announced the contest was beginning again! I thought you knew that, since you were limiting yourself to three per day...

I thought it would make it more fair, considering time zones and things... I'm testing the rule this month... if it proves to be unnecessary, I'll remove the limit, then you can all go to town... but until then, 3 per day.

Vye said...

Bob: You dog. :-P

Dave: I think I'd run it by Lloyd ahead of time. Communicate to him you're not going to be making a scene by letting other people play on your computer and otherwise disrupting camp. Maybe just write in the cabin then drop by the cafe to click submit. I have email on my phone but I'm bringing my computer just in case a server at work demands some quality CPU to heart time. Plus, I can't go a week without at least saying hi to かるら. How rude would that be?

If not, you can update your blog on my phone. Just make Lloyd put us in the same cabin this time. Otherwise, I might end up executing some dragon warrior moves on a fellow "brother".

btw, he's planning on playing water rugby this year. woooo

Abbie said...

title is from the wizard of Oz
I'm a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics! = Cars (did maggie quote that one to you? she is such a CARS feind)
haha, doesn't hurt me as much as it hurts you bob :D

Abbie said...

and....
Insects don't have politics. They're brutal = The Fly

Dave, where do you get all these quotes!?!?! have you seriously seen every single one of these videos and can say all these random lines, or do you have a database that you peruse constantly looking for great lines? wow.... :P

Abbie said...

oh, and I agree with Lloyd. I'm sure he'll be amicable if you talk to him ahead of time... i need to chat with him too... for school related reasons... thanks for reminding me :D
Nice pun and poem by the way!! :)

David Wagner said...

Water rugby! O_O

Abbie gets 15 points! As for where I get the quotes... ancient Chinese secret... Let's just say it involves the letters I, M, D & B...

Well, if no one wants to snap up the three quotes that Bob helped the community find, I guess I'll just invalidate them... I'll wait until I post tonights post to decide... sorry, Bob...

I guess I could just take an informal poll and see if y'all want a limit or not... should it be a free-for-all, or should I try to make it an even playing field?

Paula Titus said...

Loved the poem! And I'll gladly take Bob's quotes since I stink.

Bobinho said...

it would be fair if you let me decide to who the 15 go to... and since Paula said it so nicely... i giver her.. (drum roll)... 15 points! D:

Paula Titus said...

Thanks Bob! You're a gem. :)

I,M,D & B = internet movie database. Score! Do I get points for that?

ghannah said...

singing in the rain from the title movie
probably a good idea to follow the rules at camp, i mean, what kind of example do you want to be setting?

Abbie said...

oh dave, true... if the campers aren't really allowed to use the computer and stuff, vye, shannon and I will either have to sneak visits on vye phone or bob will dominate, again. can't allow that now can we?

ghannah said...

bob dominate?!!
i think she meant, grace will stomp everyone

Avari said...

Well you could always just pause the game for camp week. That way you still don't break your streak and Bob also doesn't go crazy with points while we are gone.

Vye said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vye said...

Trivial excuses, really. I won't speak about counselors following their own rules but the point of that rule is so we can focus on God and learning.

If the peeps of this blog can't handle you updating it while we're at camp than I guess that answers your question. I'd just throw quick summaries up without the pics/movies n such. That way you won't ruin your 365 consecutive posts goal.

*shrug* Frostmourne told me to... *twitch*

Abbie said...

:) true....
we don't really want you to break your resolution Dave... and, well, if we lose, there is always next month, muahahaha :D just kidding!

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