Just Speaking the Vernacular of the Peasantry

"Singing in the rain" or "Ringing in the Seine", which one?

You see, the Seine is a river in Paris, see... and... if you go swimming in it, you are considered to be "in Seine"...

You see, "seine" is pronounced "sane", which makes the second joke a nice little multilingual pun, see... "In Seine"... "insane"...

You see, "multilingual" means it works only if you have a working grasp of two languages, so it is a really risky joke to attempt... but it's a risk I'm willing to take for this blog! You are worth it!

Another day of deliveries today at the rug shop - albeit a very easy one. No crazy rainbow-striped clouds today. But we did have a couple peals of crazy-loud thunder, which never ceases to tickle me. I love it. It hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. Always reminds me of getting shelled by artillery... only, you know, safer and less pants-filling. A little less, anyway. Certainty of death... small chance of success... what are we waiting for!?

Played some more Battlefield 2 tonight, inching my way toward my next rank. Pretty soon, you'll have to all refer to me as "Sergeant Major Wagner" or else I'll make you do push-ups 'til you puke. And I won't go any easier on you if you're a female! No sissy "girl pushups" around here! Full-on "toes and fingertips" pushups, and lots of them! I haven't given my life to the Corps so that I can take lip from the likes of you maggots!

'Maggots' might be too harsh, sorry. Meh, insects don't have politics. They're brutal. Besides, from up here, you all look like little ants!

My BF2 accuracy has finally dipped below 19%, unfortunately. Man, what a blow to my ego. 18.97% as of today, with 580 hours, 36 minutes and 14 seconds total time logged in game. Holy mackerel... if I did that non-stop, it would take me almost 25 days to log that time! That's either really impressive or really pathetic! Of course, I've been playing the game since August 20 2005, so that's not bad, really... if you look at the global scoreboard, there are several on the list that have logged a jaw-dropping 6,000+ hours. Makes my 580 look like a weekend LAN party...

But back to accuracy, the average seems to be about 25% among those that have played tons, though there are people with up to 90%. 18.97%... man. Guess I should write a poem about it... pay attention and you will see how genius creates a legend...

My Accuracy Sucks: A Poem by David L. Wagner

--------------------------------------------------

Locked and loaded, gunbelt bloated, aiming down the barrel,

Teammates goaded, shells exploded, leading them through peril,

Taunting, dissing, mocking, kissing, make the Red Team dismal!

Firing, missing, pinging, hissing - gawd, my aim's abyssmal!

O, come on... don't tell me you guys don't also deal with dissappointment by writing poems... come on, admit it. You don't? Well how do you deal with it then? Answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man!

Well, I guess I could always take up pen spinning instead...

Congratulations! You have just won the gold, silver and bronze in the Moron Olympics!

Todayve In History: June 4

----------------------------------

- June 4, 1070: Roquefort cheese first created in a cave near Roquefort, France. (Leave it to the French to take note of important dates in Cheese History...)

- June 4, 1783: The Montgolfier brothers launch the first hot-air balloon. (Again, the French! Who knew they've contributed so much to the world! Cheese and hot air! And hairy-legged women!)

- June 4, 1896: Henry Ford takes his first Ford through the streets of Detroit. (I'm a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics!)

- June 4, 1940: German forces enter Paris. (And they weren't there for the cheese, hot air, or hairy women...)

- June 4, 1984: Bruce Springsteen releases Born In the USA. (*respect* Great album. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings "When A Man Loves A Woman"...)

Speaking of great music, here is a video for ya - the opening scene from the 1995 movie Desperado, with Antonio Banderas. He's "singing" a Los Lobos song. Quite cool, I think, and funny when he decks the guy with his guitar in the middle of the song without missing a beat...

That reminds me... every Spanish song I hear, in any context, seems to have the word "corazon" in it... has anyone else noticed that? Next time you are listening to a Spanish song, even if you don't know the language, listen for the word "corazon"... I'll bet you 9 times out of 10, it will be in the lyrics. It's the Spanish word for "heart", and one time a Spanish friend told me it was because the Spanish are just filled with love. Sounds like a good explanation. Or, it could just be that it's such a fun word to say... "corazon"... for correct pronunciation, check with Antonio in the movie clip...

Something dawned on me today... I'm going to the annual church camp later this month. It's a week long. We are not supposed to bring any iPods, hand-held game units, notebook computers or any other gadgets... I'm torn. Last year, everyone brought them anyway, and no one said boo. But it's a rule, and I'm a counselor (as well as videographer). If I abide by the rules, I won't be able to update my blog for a week. If I join the crowd and break the rules, I can use the campsites free wireless internet to continue my daily updates (thus, not breaking my resolution).

So, do the "right thing", and leave you hanging for a week - and hope that all or most of you will pick it back up again after the break... or break the rules to keep the streak alive... is the streak really that important, I ask myself... if I take a week off, will anyone remember to start reading again or move on? Is having readers really that important? What's the purpose of this blog to begin with? Is it for me or others, or both? If nobody reads it, will I still write it? Will anyone care if I miss updating for a week? If I don't come back, tell mother I love her...

Hmm... Well, reverend, looks like you've got yourself surrounded! A sticky wicket indeed!

Funny Picture Time!

I like the little "FREE" on the sign. That could be me, I guess... although there are probably topics I'd feel too uncomfortable talking about with random people... can't think of one off-hand, but I'd feel dishonest to make such a blanket statement like that without thoroughly pondering the possibilities. That guy is fearless... must be the beard.

I guess that's it for me today. Great job, everyone, on the movie quotes yesterday. You nicked all 12. Until tomorrow, remember, control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac!