Nope, not a clue. Not a blasted idea. Absolutely nothing. The Empty Set. Null and void and everything in between.
THAT, my dear friends, is what I have in my mind to write about tonight. So, I will just begin to type, and we shall all see together where it ends up... think of it as a literary adventure. Let's all take hands here, and form a chain, and together we can circumnavigate, traverse and otherwise cross this great ideological morass. I found it, I did! A way through the marshes... Orcs don't use it. Orcs don't know it... they go around for miles and miles... you may ask, "Dave, how is this any different than every other night?"
Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages... English and bad English. Well, it's a good, reasonable question! I guess it ain't any different!
I've discovered something interesting about the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. They ain't as good as I remembered that they were. I've read the first six so far, and I have found them quite lacking. I don't know whether to keep reading them or launch into The Lies of Locke Lamora or give Sword of Shannara another try... what do you read, my lord?
I went to the book store today to see if Best Served Cold was out yet - I thought it was supposed to be out mid June for some reason. But, nope, it won't be out until the very end of July. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. I should post pictures of my shelves full of books, and color-code them in Photoshop, so at a glance you and I can both see which ones I've read, which ones I haven't read, which ones I started but didn't finish, which ones I have read more than once, and which ones I bought because they look impressive but I have no intention of ever reading. I keep those books in an effort to impress my wife, in the hopes that she'll like me someday... Actually, the only thing that impresses her is really aggressive driving. Which means I'm sunk.
I came to a Battlefield 2-related realization today as I studied my stats... other than my next increase in rank, there is really not much else, as far as achievements, that I will likely ever earn. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of badges, medals and ribbons I haven't earned, but I'm trying to be realistic. The odds that I will get almost any of the remaining ones are slim.
Since I know you are dying for a list, here it is. I aims to please...
- I'm 95.84% toward earning the Sergeant Major rank. Odds: It's a lock. Easy-peasy. Gimme a week.
- I need 33 more knife kills to get my Expert Knife Badge. Odds: Pretty good. Should take me about a month. I've been getting 1 or 2 a night lately.
- I need to run over 5 people in one round to get my Veteran Transport Badge. Odds: Meh. If I focus on it exclusively, I think I could do it. That's a big maybe.
- I need 20 kills in one round combined from the mounted machine gun or TOW missile to get my Expert Ground Defense Badge. Odds: Slim. It's very difficult. Maybe on a marathon round where I can shoot down 10 attack choppers (1 pilot & 1 gunner each) with the TOW, maybe. But it would be lucky. I am a stud on the TOW though.... so you never know...
That's it, really. The rest of them are either impossible, or would take many rounds of focused effort on my part to try and obtain them, and after a while, it becomes work and not play. I want to enjoy the game. If you want to see all the awards I will not be winning, go to my stats page, and scroll down to the Awards section. Put your cursor over each award and it will tell you what would be required to earn it. Then you can scoff at my abject mediocrity.
Wow, how "scraping the bottom of the barrel" does it get when discussing meaningless statistics in an obscure game can take up so much air time? I mean, does making a man a knight make him a better fighter? Well, we all have our passions, I suppose. Mine is PC Gaming. And whining. And history...
Todayve in History: June 18
- June 18, 1812: The War of 1812 begins as the US Congress declares war on Great Britain and Ireland. (There was nothing good on TV that night, so they though, "Hey, why not?")
- June 18, 1873: Susan B. Anthony is fined $100 for attempting to vote in the 1872 presidential election. (It was an honest mistake... no one told her the election wasn't until November...)
- June 18, 1908: The University of the Philippines was established. (An honorary degree to the inventor of lumpia! Mmmmmm!!!!)
- June 18, 1930: Groundbreaking ceremonies for the Franklin Institute are held. (They were more civil than the windbreaking ceremonies held later that night...)
- June 18, 1940: Winston Churchill delivers his famous "Finest Hour" speech. (He misspoke... it was supposed to be a bread recipe which called for "our finest flour"...)
Let's see if I can't find a Funny Picture for ya...The ol' "Levitating Cork Trick." Yawn. That is soooo 2004.... Man, you just can't find a decent, modern cat magician anymore... the last good one was Furry Houdini...
I just discovered that when you think you've scraped the bottom of the barrel, look again, because you can usually find another lame joke in there somewhere! "Furry Houdini"... what was I thinking...? You have my profuse apologies... I know, I can hear you now... "You think that by saying 'I'm sorry,' all the past can be corrected?" No, I most assuredly do not.
Well, I could always default to the "cute animal" video clip... here's one where a guy is teaching a baby wolf to howl...
Oh, come on... you gotta admit, that was pretty cute...
Well, if that didn't do it for you, try this article over at IGN that discusses the 25 Worst Wrestling Gimmicks of All Time. They've got descriptions, pictures and even video clips! Hours of fun reliving all those weak wrestling memories from your childhood! All those weekend afternoon hours spent watching wrestling, the Monday Night Wars, renting all the VHS wrestling tapes, practicing moves on your little brother, rooting for Hulk Hogan, even when he turned heel...
Wait... you weren't a wrestling fan? Well, okay then!
Another Rug Shop Day slated for tomorrow. Let's see if I can get to bed at a decent hour tonight (as opposed to an indecent hour, I guess) so I can wake up at a decent hour and get into work at a decent hour. Well, it's a good thing I'm such a decent guy!
Oh, man, that reminds me... I could REALLY go off on a theological rant right here, but I think I'll save it for another day. Pull in those reins, Davey Boy... Whoa, boy! Don't go there just now...
Whew, that was close.
My 20th High School Reunion is about a week away. I'm about 99% sure I will not be attending. I hope it's a great event and well-attended and all, but I think I'll pass. If I go, I'll have to bring wifey, who is SOOO not into it. I'll have to guard my every word and move, lest she think I'm trying to rekindle some old high school flame or something. It would be a dazzling evening full of the most exquisitely uncomfortable pins and needles! And I certainly couldn't go alone and expect to ever hear the end of it. Besides, there's really no one there I feel an overly strong urge to reconnect with face to face. I've become "friends" with a handful of my old classmates on Facebook, and that's pretty much good enough for me. I think I'll stay home and get some knife kills in BF2...
Well, I suppose I'll pull the plug tonight. Not bad for a guy that had absolutely nothing to talk about, eh? Good luck with the Movie Quotes. Until tomorrow, remember, if you had known anything about the true nature of the universe, anything at all, you would've hidden from it in terror!