Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Do You Mean You Couldn't Love Me if I Had a Different Name?


"By and By" or "buy and buy", which one?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins...

It has been too, too long since my last post. I apologize for not updating sooner. I mean, it must be hard having to wait almost a full 24 hours to read something new from me. My posts can hold the average person over for about 13 to 15 hours... any more than that, and the withdrawal symptoms start to kick in: the light-headedness, mild nausea, distemper, ringworm, weak bladder and in extreme cases, uncontrollable flatulence. By waiting a full 24 hours, I'm afraid most, if not all of you, now fall into the "extreme" category.

Well, crack a window, grab a Mountain Dew and enjoy! Remember, a million girls would kill for this job!

My sweet Katie graduated from 8th grade today! Yay! Now she can do more chores around the house. She's mature enough now to handle a mop and an iron.

I kid, I kid! Sheesh! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who... besides, I do the ironing in our house! I am Iron Man.

Here's a couple pics and a vid.

There's wifey, Katie and my sweet little Maggie, with her Rubic's Cube.
-----------------------------

There's the promotee herself, smirking for some reason. That's a close-up from her class group picture.
--------------------------

And there's my Maggie and me. Hey Mom, look! A two-car garage!
--------------------------------

And just to be a completist, as far as gettin' all multimedia on you, here's the video proof that the event actually occured, so you don't think I made the whole thing up just to get high Nielson ratings on tonight's blog post...

video

I know there still remains a slim possibility that I actually hired actresses to portray my wife and daughters in today's post, but I assure you, that possibility is so slim that it's a pretty safe bet that they are, in fact, my actual family members. I think. I did use a stunt double at a couple points for myself, but that was because an old war injury was flaring up and I needed to take a few laps around the parking lot...

Bah, in all my life, I've never heard such a fantastic load of tripe...

So next year, my Sweet Little Girl #2 will be in high school. I bought her an 8GB iTouch as a gift. Quite a step down from the laptop I had promised, but hey, times are tight, what can I say. This too shall pass...

That reminds me, I whipped up another quickie Wagnervana strip tonight, which is likely to strike some as more amusing than others... what can I say? They are various re-interpretations of certain road signs. To fully appreciate them, you must unlearn what you have learned...

I know, I know, "easy humor". Sorry, that's the mood I'm in. It's a problem. To make up for the rather pedestrian humor, I will post one of my favorite "funny" video clips of all time. It's a "wooden spoon prank" video I favorited a while back. If you don't know the set-up, it's a prank to play whereby you convince a friend to take turns putting a wooden spoon in your mouth and bonking each other in the head, to see who can hit the hardest. But it's all a set-up, as you will see...



Love it. I have literally laughed aloud every single time I've watched that clip, which is well into the dozens by now, I'm sure. I can't help but laugh at clips like that. What was the theme? Humiliation?

Wednesday is a Rug Shop Day. More work on the website. I think we'll be filming new "video blog" segments tomorrow as well. Should be swell.

I think I'm going to pull the plug for now. That should tide you over for the next 13 to 15 hours.

Until tomorrow, remember, rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, save the world.

17 comments:

Avari said...

Do You Mean You Couldn't Love Me if I Had a Different Name? = The importance of being earnest

Avari said...

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins = Austin Powers

Avari said...

Remember, a million girls would kill for this job! = Devil wears prada

David Wagner said...

Boom! 15 points for Shannon. Schweet.

Avari said...

Congrats to Katie.
I thought you were never going to post a pic of your wife on the internet? :/ .
Looks like the guy in your top pic is thinking about jumping off.
I liked the LOTR pic in the comic

OMG that spoon video had me laughing out loud the entire time! Thanx Dave I love a good laugh. Man it is so funny that the guy tries to hit him as hard as he can but its still nothing in comparison to the hard hit by guy behind him. hahaha.

Claudette said...

The guy in that top video--that pic was photo-shopped right? WHY would anyone do that? I'm a scaredy. I wouldn't even crawl out there.

i've always loved the spoon video too. can't figure out why it takes that kid so long to get it.

Bobinho said...

"Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who" is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail...

Bobinho said...

"I am Iron Man" is from Iron Man

not know if that was intentional or not... but you can't blame me for your lack of concentration :P so suck it up and give me those 5 points! :D

Bobinho said...

"This too shall pass" = I Corinthians 10:12

in.. your.. face...!!!!! :D

Bobinho said...

congrats to daughter no.1!! :D

easy comedy there in your comic, i agree... as long as you put in a LOTR reference you just can't go wrong if you ask me :D

i really hope that video is a conspiracy.. nobody can be that dumb, right? right??? :(

Paula Titus said...

The family is gorgeous! Love the cliff pic and the spoon video is hilarious - have never seen that before.

How'd Bob get a Bible quote? :)

Abbie said...

rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, save the world = the mummy
To fully appreciate them, you must unlearn what you have learned = The empire strikes back
and lastly...I've never heard such a fantastic load of tripe = Chicken Run
Cute pics dave and video :) how does magz do on the rubic cube? she a master yet? i hate those things.... :P
and that spoon video was HYSTERICAL!! awesome!! plus, it sounded like they had australian or samoan accents, so doubly cool!! :D They reminded me of the guys in the legend of johnny lingo, haha, or whale rider. :) good post! and good comic!

David Wagner said...

!5 points for Bob and for Abbie!

Claudette: Don't know if that top photo has been "shopped" or not... if it is, it's a great job. Still, I dig the pic. I'd never go out there, that's for sure.

Paula: Yeah, my kids are my sweeties. I didn't put a pic of Eldest (the 19 year old) because she wasn't in any of the pics yesterday! She's my sweetie too...

Abbie: Maggie has me solve one side for her on he Rubik's Cube, then she takes it around, showing everyone what she did, lol.

Glad you all liked the prank clip - it's a fave of mine.

David Wagner said...

Oops: Should start off "15", not "!5", lol...

Abbie said...

haha, maggz maggz, she is one clever girly!! :D hahaha thats awesome...

Avari said...

What was the theme? Humiliation? = 27 dresses

David Wagner said...

5 more for Shannon in the Free For All Round! The woman is on fire!

Well, put her out already! Sheesh!