Friday, August 14, 2009

You Don't Just Go Around Punching People! You Have to Say Something Cool First!


"Brothers and sisters" or "brothels and cisterns," which one?

Torn! Torn, I say! I thought I'd bail from this site and head over to the new website, as you read yesterday... my thinking was, it will help me fix the new site. But this blog was just fine. In other words, not only did I leave "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" well behind, but I broke new ground with "if it's broke, then try to fix it by breaking something else that isn't broke." Believe it or not, it made sense at the time. Now I see it for the half-folly that it was. So yes, I'm back here; no need to panic. Now the only thing 'round here that's broke is the wind. And my heart. And my financial condition. And California. And my windshield.

I went to that Traffic Geyser seminar today, and I'm glad I did. Didn't start out glad, though. They failed to make mention in the registration literature the options for parking. I showed up to the hotel (early, I might add) only to find it was going to cost me $22 to park there for the day. I didn't bring any cash, so I had to bail into Point Loma to track down a bank. By the time I returned, parked and found the ballroom, I was 15 minutes late and had to sneak in the back, red faced with both embarrassment and anger. I apparently could have saved about half that by parking at the airport and taking a shuttle to the hotel, or tried to find a free (both in availability and cost) spot at the end of Harbor Island a few miles away and walked for an hour.

Anyway, once I stopped being angry and focused on the material, I quickly realized that the event was going to be worth the parking hassle. Really, in the grand scheme of things, it's no biggie. I mean, I kept the receipt and the rug shop will write it off as a business expense and reimburse me (hopefully) in any case. I just hate surprises... especially surprises that make me feel like an idiot. It's a pride thing, I guess. I've described my brain in here before, how it's like a bunch of monkeys jumping on a trampoline. Trying to chase down a monkey and set it down in one spot is what I feel like I do in my brain 24/7. When I get an issue resolved, it's like a monkey sitting down calmly in a chair. The parking issue was a monkey in its place; it was settled! I would show up, park in the lot and go to the seminar. Done. I get there and I realized I had to pay... it's like someone grabs that monkey and throws it back on the trampoline again, and I get all discombobulated.

Yet another personality quirk of mine. Also, regularly a monkey will fall off the back of the trampoline and I won't notice. That's what happens when I promise someone I'll do something, with every intention of doing it, and then forget. I'm so busy chasing after other monkeys, some of them slip away. I don't do it on purpose, they're just gone. Then I hope that someone or something points out the missing monkey and tosses it back onto the trampoline...

GAHH!!! Enough with the monkeys already!

I just don't like surprises; let's just leave it at that.

I'll never understand why people enjoy scaring other people. I've talked about that here before as well, though... the "funny" clips you see online with people sneaking up on other people, or popping out from inside/behind something. I put "funny" in quotes, because I don't find it funny at all, especially when done to kids. And especially when they startle someone out of sleep. That kind of stuff works on a base, almost subconscious level. You never know the kind of scars that will leave. Honestly, I don't know why I balk so strongly against that. It must have happened to me when I was a wee one, or something. Then again, it probably happened to everyone else as wee kids as well... maybe I'm just lame.

Well, when you find out you're lame, the best thing to do is divert attention with a video! Next in my series called "Idiots with a Deathwish" are these two smacktards...


I know! Let's lay down on the tracks and see what happens! Yeah! And let's eat the world's hottest pepper and see what happens! And hey, hit me in the package with a sledgehammer and let's see what happens!

You can see the first Idiots with a Deathwish video in the now infamous Lost Blog Post over at Wagnervana... I decided not to post it here... AND YET! I will begin posting the threads from this blog over there... with some additional content! So if you just didn't get enough of the post here, you can check over there and see if I improved it or killed it by adding more! I figure that would be an incentive to check the new site... see? I'm a marketing genius now....

Well, I guess I should post a better video. Check out this awesome trailer for a new iPhone game called The Secret of Bryce Manor...



Almost makes me wish I had an iPhone.

Todayve in History: August 15
---------------------------------
- August 15 was apparently a popular day to found major cities in South American countries that start with P. Panama City, Panama was founded Aug 15, 1519. Asuncion, Paraguay was founded Aug 15, 1537, and Arequipa, Peru was founded Aug 15, 1540. Well, happy birthday to them!

And across the Atlantic...

- August 15, 1824: Freed American slaves found Liberia. (We all know what a rampaging success *that* was...)

Speaking of Panama (which is probably technically a North American country...)

- August 15, 1914: The Panama Canal opens for traffic. (A man, a plan, a canal, a few thousand deaths by malaria...)

And while we're celebrating countries...

- August 15, 1945: Korean Liberation Day.
- August 15, 1947: India gains independence from the UK.
- August 15, 1948: South Korea is formed.
- August 15, 1960: Congo gains independence from France.

Man, that's quite a list of places I'll never visit!

One more event of note on August 15...

- August 15, 1969: The Woodstock Music & Art Festival opens, on Max Yasgur's 600 acre dairy farm. (Max's quote: "Get off my farm, you dirty hippies!")

Phew! That's a lot of trivia. Think I went overboard... there's more I could have posted as well... but alas, you'll never know what those extra bits would have been... unless you think they might be over in the Wagnervana edition of this thread... MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Funny Picture Time!
Never one to pass up on the leading edge of a new internet meme, I give you the "peeking squirrel" photo. This pic of a squirrel popping into the frame just in time to be photographed only appeared a day or two ago online, but it is already popping up all over, being photoshopped into famous pictures everywhere... the irony of all us lemmings enjoying a squirrel so much does not escape me...

OK, I'm done. That was a lot! What do you expect of me, dangit! I'm only humid! I mean, I'm only a hominid! Oh, you know what I mean!

Until tomorrow, remember, there's always someone in there... it costs me a fortune in closet doors!

PS OMG I just had a great idea for Wagnervana! The "Hidden Link of the Week"! Somewhere on the site, I'll hide a link, and if you're the first to click it and leave a comment on the page, you'll win something. Oh, man, that could be fun... stay tuned...

6 comments:

Krista said...

Just left a message on your web page...

Paula Titus said...

Could that squirrel BE any cuter? No way! Completely adorable!

Abbie said...

your trivia reminded me that they are making a movie about that event, called taking woodstock... looks very strange, lol :)

havah said...

Wow. Your monkey brain explanation is an awesome, and applies so well to my brain, it's scary! That's for putting it into perspective for me.

Idiots under the train...I wonder how much the fine for that was?

I almost wish I had an i-phone too. Almost.

havah said...

Oh, and I want a garden like that Spanish one in the photograph. A mower-less paradise!

havah said...

"an awesome.." So much for editing!