Wednesday, September 30, 2009

We Need to Find the Leader. Mangalores Won't Fight Without the Leader.


What day of the week is it? Man, where's my head at? Wednesday, right. I feel so confused right now, it's weird. I know what caused it, though... it was seeing a photoshopped picture of Nicolas Cage's face on Andre the Giant's body...


That image is enough to shake the composure of just about anyone. OMG, I haven't laughed that hard since that time I passed wind while leading Sunday evening prayer at church... I tried to turn it into a teaching by quoting Psalms ("Make a joyful noise") and Joel 2 ("blow a trumpet in Zion") but it didn't work. I was slapped by the elders in front of everyone, and excommunicated. Now I live on the streets, with only Spudgebert, my imaginary three-legged bulldog, to keep me company...

What was I saying? Man, still too addled... hang on, let me flare tin for a moment.... There we go!

Yes, I am a mistborn... it's very handy when I want to get a can of soda without getting up. I just pull it to me from across the room...

I went into the RUG SHOP today... yes, all caps. You only use all caps when you're serious, or when you're yelling, or when you're seriously yelling. In my case, it's all four (the fourth reason is secret). I made some changes to our website, adding a couple titles to the book shelf page, and adding other odds, ends and odd ends. Then on the way home, I went to my favorite new food-related hang-out Yogurtland! In Mira Mesa! Check it OUT...


OK, you can't see most of what's in there, so I'll have to run down the list... next time, I'll try to do a sequence, since I know how seriously you all take yogurt. In fact, lemme use all caps. YOGURT! There... anyway, I started with non-fat Pomegranate tart yogurt (YUM!), added fresh kiwi, blueberries, raspberries and sliced strawberries, a healthy heaping of shredded coconut, and a big scoop of dark chocolate chips. I didn't know whether to eat it, kiss it, or ask the DJ to play Smoke Gets In Your Eyes by The Platters so I could slow dance with it. The best part is Yogurtland has officially helped me break my Starbucks habit... I spend about the same as a Starbucks visit - $3 to $4, depending on how gluttonous I'm feeling, and I only get a mild shot of caffeine from the dark chocolate... plus, with all that fresh fruit on there, I almost can trick myself into thinking I'm eating healthy! Ah, the sweet smell of self-delusion!

I better change the subject before I crave more yogurt... and seeing as how it's 11:30 pm at the moment, and they're closed, I would be forced to drive down there and wait all night long, with my face pressed up against the glass door like an algae eater...

And now, a cool watch that uses scrolling numbered tape to tell time...


Check out the website to see all the cool colors it comes it! If you're a dude, pretend it's made from Craftsman tape measure... if you're a chick, pretend it's from one of the cool cloth tape measures that you use when you do all your sewing, you know, between cooking and cleaning and raising the kids and, like clipping coupons and stuff... you know, chick stuff...

I had a funny video clip posted here, but they embedded an ad in front of it, and the "post clip suggestions" for other video clips were not family friendly, and besides, I didn't like the clip as much as I thought I did, so I deleted it! See! I'm looking out for you! If you really want to see it, go here. Though, if I were really looking out for you, I wouldn't have posted that pic of Nicolas the Giant... *shudder*

Anyway, I believe my work here is done. Congratulations to Havah for winning the September Movie Quote Contest. She wins a $20 Amazon gift card, which shall be emailed to her shortly. The October Contest will begin, oddly enough, on October 1st! Another Amazon gift card is up for grabs! Think of the books you can buy! Or maybe a movie, or a game or a CD or something! Heck, they sell everything on Amazon! You could even get a new liver! OK, well, maybe they don't sell internal organs there, but just about everything else!

Until tomorrow, remember, weddings are one floor down, my son. Congratulations.

11 comments:

havah said...

The really freaky thing about that photoshopped pic is that Cage's head kinda suits the body! I wonder how big the other guy actually is.

That yoghurt looks and sounds divine! I wonder how much refrigerated mail costs? :D

*LOL* Nice image there...algae eater.

That's a seriously cool watch. of course, I'd never know what time it is, but who cares what time it is anyway.

Oh noooo...poor squirrel! :( I'm such a baby. And was that the squirrel or the girl screaming? Weird. o_O

Woot! Thank you muchly, Dave! I have plans. :D

Final quotes:
Title and the last line are both from The Fifth Element

David Wagner said...

And 10 more points to round out the month. D-D-D-DOMINATION!!!1!

marky said...

Nicolas the Giant, was amazing! Cage's head really suits a bigger mans body.

In case you're wondering, that's where I've been for the last few months. Stuck behind Cage's head.

It took me ages to circumnavigate such an awesome heed!

David Wagner said...

Marky! I was just looking wistfully at your blog, wondering where you'd gone, hoping you were ok!

Excellent! All is right in the world now...

logankstewart said...

Holy moley that is one of the funniest things I think I've ever seen. Fits of uncontrollable laughter at my work desk at 8:30 in the morning are a great way to start off the day. Any time I'm sad, I think I'll come back and look at that picture. Nicolas the Giant... Oh the glory.

Ha! I used Mistborn allusions, too, and people either responded like they knew what I was talking about (obviously they didn't), or they looked at me like I was an idiot.

Crystal said...

That yogurt looks so yummy! There aren't any Yogurtland's in Seattle. Grrrr....

That watch is awesome! My hubby is an architect. I'm thinking it would make a great stocking stuffer.

That poor squirrel! (laughing hysterically)

Krista said...

Very funny post today! Loved it!

I'll be back in the qoute game once I get everything in order around the house! I just got my internet back today but I don't have my computer hooked up yet! I'm ging crazy! Thank goodness for my local library!

I posted on yesterdays post, too.

All the best!

Paula Titus said...

I really like the watch, particularly the blue one.

Yogurt looks yummy! But I'd have mine with less fruit and more chocolate. :)

Abbie said...

I like that watch too!! a little bright, but very ingenious!
btw, dave, you should throw in a few "finish that quote" in your blogs. Like, remember, weddings are ____ _____ ___, my son. Congratulations.
Or something like that, lol :)

oh and CONGRATS HAVAH!! :D

logankstewart said...

I've been back and looked at that picture several times today, and I've cracked up every time. Thank you so much for sharing. Super super funny.

David Wagner said...

Excellent. Glad I could help!