Friday, September 4, 2009

I'm Standing Here Solidly on My Own Two Hands and Going Crazy.


Three Day Weekend! Yay! Labor Day! A day to celebrate women everywhere that have given birth! A day to buy the mother of your children lots of presents and shower her with attention and affection!

At least, that's what my wife told me the holiday was for. Oddly, it sounds a lot like Mother's Day. And Valentine's Day. And Christmas, her birthday, our anniversary and Black Friday, now that I think on it. Man, that's a lot of gifts.

By the way, I wanted to apologize to anyone that followed the link in yesterday's post over to Gary's World blog... figures, I'd link to it, and immediately he'd post something with offensive language in it. I'd browsed his blog archives before and never found anything offensive. Granted, it wasn't an exhaustive search; nevertheless, I felt safe in recommending it. My apologies.

OK, I know I swore I'd avoid doing this at all costs, but I fear I must. Prepare for a (hopefully) quick Political Rant!

Now, I'm not exactly a big fan of the President, but I hardly feel he's the Antichrist that talk radio is painting him to be. It's a tough job, being POTUS, and while I don't exactly see eye to eye with him on a lot of stuff, I hardly think he's the evil Nazi that certain rambling lunatics are painting him as.

That having been said, what on earth is all the uproar over his proposed speech to the schools on Tuesday? Why are people freaking out? What do they think he's going to do, try and slip a subliminal socialist message past all parents everywhere and brainwash their kids? For crying out loud, he's the most observed and analyzed guy in the world, he's not going to do or say anything that will be subversive or, really, of any substance whatsoever. He wouldn't possibly be willing to say anything that wasn't completely benign, his poll numbers are too precious, like all politicians.

It's not the stuff these guys say in front of the whole world that we should worry about, but the stuff they are saying in private. To get worked up about a President speaking a few encouraging, ultimately meaningless words to our kids is the height of paranoid ludicrousness. I heard them on the radio today... "this is just like Nazi Germany!" Yeah, right... and yesterday, it was just like the Soviet Union... well, is he a commie or a nazi? I'll give you a hint: neither, bozo. People are nuts. They see only what they want to see.

Sheesh!

OK, the rant is over. I better try and do damage control by posting a Funny Picture...

You people that work at night scare me...

Come on... an "alien autopsy" birthday cake? That's awesome. That's better than the Zombie Hello Kitty cake I posted a couple weeks back.

Still not enough to make up for the political rant? How about a cat video. Those always help...


There, a makeshift cat elevator. Cool, right? Right? What? Still not good enough? Dang!

Well, I guess I'll throw in a comic, then...


There, that should do it. All better now.

I watched 2 movies recently. Yep, it's Mini Review Time!

The Fugitive (1993): Really good action movie, seen it several times before. Tommy Lee Jones' performance is awesome, start to finish. He won the Oscar for it, you know! And the train wreck scene is worth the price of admission alone. But the constant flashbacks to the horrible crime are hard to watch, so dock a half-star for that. And the hokey plot-line about the faked drug results to get a wonder-drug approved was weak sauce as well. A half a star for that, too. Final Rating: 4 stars.

Watchmen (2009): I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. That blue atomic dude was awesome. I could have done without the near-pornographic love scenes, and a couple of the more grisly scenes were a bit unnerving, and really, it could have been about 20 minutes shorter. But I'm glad I watched it. It feeds the inner Geek. Final Rating: 3.5 stars.

In other Mindless Entertainment News: I'm *this* close to abandoning The Talisman. If it doesn't rivet me tonight, I'm tossing it across the room. I have too many other tasty books waiting in the wings to waste time on a depressing, haphazard tale that is more horror than fantasy. Also, I've been playing the Fallout 3 expansion pack Broken Steel lately, and man, is it tough! Here I thought since my character was maxed out and had all the great gear that anything beyond this point would be a cakewalk. Nope. I'm getting hammered. It's awesome. And finally, I've lost four Facebook Scrabble matches recently, between Havah and Cathy O. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want... I have learned to lose gracefully.

Forget everything you've seen on television and in the movies... it's time for something completely different...


Yep, there's a plastic form you can lock in place around growing pears that will force the pear to ripen in the shape of a Buddha. Not sure what country they do this in, since the website is not in English, but that's pretty wild, if you ask me...

I think that's it for me today. The status quo has changed, son. Be sure to check out the Director's Cut of this post over at Wagnervana, for more goodies. Until tomorrow, remember, from here on in, do what I tell you to do, because it's bad for my reputation! You understand?

PS If you can guess the theme that ties all of tonight's movie quotes together, you get an extra 10 points.

8 comments:

havah said...

*L* I love your wife's take on Labor Day. I will tuck that in the back of my mind for possible use at a later stage.

*rofl* Oh, that alien cake is too hysterical! Maybe for my nephew's next birthday...

The kitty elevator would have been useful several years ago, although imagine that poor kitten the first day it got to go down. It might not have needed to go anymore when it reached the bottom. :D

I thought all Stephen King was horror. Just saying. ;)

Did I win gracefully? I do hope so, because it was darn hard to do. So glad I could help you learn Paul's lesson though...without any jail-time I mean. ;)
(Philippians 4:12, btw)

Umm..cool pear. BUT...who'd want to eat Buddha? :0

havah said...

I posted the theme elsewhere so I wouldn't give the quotes away to the seekers, so I'd still like my 10 points, please, kind Sir :D

David Wagner said...

10 points for the theme, and 5 points for the Philippians quote! Good show! You win a Buddha pear!

Krista said...

Love the Alien cake and the comic, too funny! Watchmen was a pretty good movie all excpet for the sex content, wow! I want a Buddha Pear! I don't know if I could bring myself to eat him but I would love to show him off. He looks pretty cool, if I do say so myself. So what book from your shelf photo are you picking up next or is it a surpize for us faithful readers? Fun post, Dave.

Paula Titus said...

I think conservative radio may also be making too much of the president's speech to our kids, it's not the first time it was done, I think Reagan (and others) did the same. But I am disturbed by some of the questions he wanted to ask the kids in a follow-up paper, like, "What can you do to help the president?" I think "help our country" would be more appropriate. Anyway, I understand the whole thing has been changed now. Besides that, I thought government was established to help the people, not vice-versa. Either way, government is too involved in our daily lives and I'd like them to get the heck out and stick to what they are supposed to be doing. :) The End.

Buddha pear? Looks Yummy.

Avari said...

They are calling him a Nazi and a Marxist because of the ideas and things he is promoting. For example, the civilian police force he wants to create.

"That's exactly what Hitler did in Nazi Germany and it's exactly what the Soviet Union did," Broun said. "When he's proposing to have a national security force that's answering to him, that is as strong as the U.S. military, he's showing me signs of being Marxist."

Dude I would love to eat buddha, haha

see you Sunday.

Abbie said...

phew, bob hasn't grabbed any quotes yet, lol :D
but, oh my goodness dave, that buddha shaped pear idea is totally weird/creepy! lol
and the cat elevator is cute :)

quotes:
I'm Standing Here Solidly on My Own Two Hands and Going Crazy. = The philadelphia story

You people that work at night scare me = Mannequin

Forget everything you've seen on television and in the movies = Philadelphia

David Wagner said...

15 points for Abbie. BAM! Like that. I'll have to try and order some Buddha pears for everyone, since y'all like them so much!