I'm Standing Here Solidly on My Own Two Hands and Going Crazy.

Three Day Weekend! Yay! Labor Day! A day to celebrate women everywhere that have given birth! A day to buy the mother of your children lots of presents and shower her with attention and affection!

At least, that's what my wife told me the holiday was for. Oddly, it sounds a lot like Mother's Day. And Valentine's Day. And Christmas, her birthday, our anniversary and Black Friday, now that I think on it. Man, that's a lot of gifts.

By the way, I wanted to apologize to anyone that followed the link in yesterday's post over to Gary's World blog... figures, I'd link to it, and immediately he'd post something with offensive language in it. I'd browsed his blog archives before and never found anything offensive. Granted, it wasn't an exhaustive search; nevertheless, I felt safe in recommending it. My apologies.

OK, I know I swore I'd avoid doing this at all costs, but I fear I must. Prepare for a (hopefully) quick Political Rant!

Now, I'm not exactly a big fan of the President, but I hardly feel he's the Antichrist that talk radio is painting him to be. It's a tough job, being POTUS, and while I don't exactly see eye to eye with him on a lot of stuff, I hardly think he's the evil Nazi that certain rambling lunatics are painting him as.

That having been said, what on earth is all the uproar over his proposed speech to the schools on Tuesday? Why are people freaking out? What do they think he's going to do, try and slip a subliminal socialist message past all parents everywhere and brainwash their kids? For crying out loud, he's the most observed and analyzed guy in the world, he's not going to do or say anything that will be subversive or, really, of any substance whatsoever. He wouldn't possibly be willing to say anything that wasn't completely benign, his poll numbers are too precious, like all politicians.

It's not the stuff these guys say in front of the whole world that we should worry about, but the stuff they are saying in private. To get worked up about a President speaking a few encouraging, ultimately meaningless words to our kids is the height of paranoid ludicrousness. I heard them on the radio today... "this is just like Nazi Germany!" Yeah, right... and yesterday, it was just like the Soviet Union... well, is he a commie or a nazi? I'll give you a hint: neither, bozo. People are nuts. They see only what they want to see.

Sheesh!

OK, the rant is over. I better try and do damage control by posting a Funny Picture...

You people that work at night scare me...

Come on... an "alien autopsy" birthday cake? That's awesome. That's better than the Zombie Hello Kitty cake I posted a couple weeks back.

Still not enough to make up for the political rant? How about a cat video. Those always help...

There, a makeshift cat elevator. Cool, right? Right? What? Still not good enough? Dang!

Well, I guess I'll throw in a comic, then...


There, that should do it. All better now.

I watched 2 movies recently. Yep, it's Mini Review Time!

The Fugitive (1993): Really good action movie, seen it several times before. Tommy Lee Jones' performance is awesome, start to finish. He won the Oscar for it, you know! And the train wreck scene is worth the price of admission alone. But the constant flashbacks to the horrible crime are hard to watch, so dock a half-star for that. And the hokey plot-line about the faked drug results to get a wonder-drug approved was weak sauce as well. A half a star for that, too. Final Rating: 4 stars.

Watchmen (2009): I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. That blue atomic dude was awesome. I could have done without the near-pornographic love scenes, and a couple of the more grisly scenes were a bit unnerving, and really, it could have been about 20 minutes shorter. But I'm glad I watched it. It feeds the inner Geek. Final Rating: 3.5 stars.

In other Mindless Entertainment News: I'm *this* close to abandoning The Talisman. If it doesn't rivet me tonight, I'm tossing it across the room. I have too many other tasty books waiting in the wings to waste time on a depressing, haphazard tale that is more horror than fantasy. Also, I've been playing the Fallout 3 expansion pack Broken Steel lately, and man, is it tough! Here I thought since my character was maxed out and had all the great gear that anything beyond this point would be a cakewalk. Nope. I'm getting hammered. It's awesome. And finally, I've lost four Facebook Scrabble matches recently, between Havah and Cathy O. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want... I have learned to lose gracefully.

Forget everything you've seen on television and in the movies... it's time for something completely different...


Yep, there's a plastic form you can lock in place around growing pears that will force the pear to ripen in the shape of a Buddha. Not sure what country they do this in, since the website is not in English, but that's pretty wild, if you ask me...

I think that's it for me today. The status quo has changed, son. Be sure to check out the Director's Cut of this post over at Wagnervana, for more goodies. Until tomorrow, remember, from here on in, do what I tell you to do, because it's bad for my reputation! You understand?

PS If you can guess the theme that ties all of tonight's movie quotes together, you get an extra 10 points.