Take Your Magic Elsewhere, Holy Man!

"Pure and simple" or "sure and pimple," which one?

Dude, I just saw Monday in running shorts, stretching over there by the starting line. He looks determined. Looks like it's going to be one of those weeks... So, in preparation, I give you a staggeringly unsatisfying Post of Random Odds and Ends!!!

Double-duty Church Day today, as is my custom... though I must confess to having skipped out on the previous two Sunday evening services. But I did go tonight, so that counts, right? I'm not doomed now, right? That's ok... being doomed is "in" nowadays, I think... There's more to life than death, Jim...

I read a cool post over at Watch Us Eat... Bayani went to Pittsburgh to participate in an event called the "Blue Ribbon Bacon Tour" and he posted the details of his visit. I know "bacon love" has blossomed into a near-religion the past few years, with all manner of new (and exciting?) bacon-related products and events... I like bacon as much as the next guy, but I can't shake the feeling that it just isn't good for you in large quantities. Yeah, this from a guy that quaffs beef jerky like water...

Anyway, you should check out the article if you want to marvel at the current state of bacon worship going on out there. Apparently, there's nothing you can't add bacon to... the grill where they hold the bacon tour event even serves a drink called a "bacontini"... not sure I'd want to try a drink that is garnished with bacon... I'd probably try some of the other items, though... like the deep-fried bacon, the bacon sushi, bacon cupcakes and the maple-bacon brittle.

O_o

On second thought... maybe I'll pass... Alright, here's your nickel back...

Hyaaah!

And now, the triumphant return of everybody's favorite feature: Famous People Celebrating Birthdays Today, With Vye's Hair Quickly, Messily Photoshopped Onto Them!

Born on September 28: Confucius (551BC), Ed Sullivan (1901), Max Schmeling (1905), Naomi Watts (1968), and MMA Heavyweight Champ Fedor Emelianenko (1976)!

Not to be outdone, there are some celebrities that died on September 28 that asked if they could be included...

Louis Pasteur (1895), Herman Melville (1891), Harpo Marx (1964) and blues legend Miles Davis (1991). Of course, Chico and Groucho wanted Vye's hair also... unlike the Beatles, up there with Ed Sullivan. The Beatles were arrogant like that. You see, the English are civilized... remember, if we are stopped by a British patrol, we are off for a weekend in the country...

Problem #208: Sometime on Monday, you will be bored.
Solution: Go to Joe Purdy's website and listen to all his albums, for free.

Glad I could help! That's what I'm here for. Solutions to life's toughest problems... that's what has garnered my blog such an ungodly huge following of near-suicidally-rabid fans... hey, I've seen some of the Dave bumperstickers and Dave t-shirts you guys have... on one level, it's cool... on another level, it's a bit creepy...

Actually, that Joe Purdy suggestion came by way of Logan, so thank him. Good music though... and this next recommendation comes from Mark Overton... A Comedian called Tim Hawkins has some cool video clips/music videos that run the gamut from "amusing" to "pretty flippin funny"... I like the one about Chik-fil-a. Go here when bored, waste precious minutes... you will thank Mark.

I couldn't find a way to embed one of Tim Hawkins' vids in here, so I'll have to settle for this instead...



I will round out this grab-bag of random nonsense with a White Ninja comic strip...


See, a blog post like this is the literary equivalent of eating cotton candy when you're really hungry for a steak. But, you know, sometimes it has to be done. It's just one of those life lessons you have to endure patiently, as it strengthens your character and freshens your breath.

Until tomorrow, remember, to say "I love you" would break my teeth...