"Life is One Grand, Sweet Song, So Start the Music!" -- Ronald Reagan

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I bring out our featured guest speaker, I'd like to pass on a quick note from the kitchen staff. Apparently, the advertised rib-eye steaks that were on the menu for tonight's dinner show were inadvertently consumed by a huge, unruly walrus earlier this afternoon. It seems one of the dishwashers on staff was under the false impression that today was Bring A Walrus To Work Day, and so he came to work with Dreadnought, his walrus, in tow. Turns out it was a practical joke played by a few coworkers. Ladies and gentlemen, the joke appears to be on you, since instead of rib-eyes, we will be serving peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches tonight. Thank you for understanding.

And now, without furth-- yes, a question in the back? Yes, sir, you in the taupe tux and stylish fez...? What "day" is it today? Well, it is "R Day," as it said on the marquee outside. And on your ticket stub, for that matter. Yes, that's right, R Day. It does sound like pig Latin, true... anything else, sir? My fly is open? Unlikely, sir, but nice try.

OK, good, good. Now, without further ado, may I introduce tonight's guest speaker. Dave the Goof!

[Dave enters to polite applause]

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you!

OK, who threw that?! Seriously? Who? Disgusting. Man, I hope that doesn't leave a stain. How anyone was able to sneak a cat turd in through security is beyond me...

Anyways, thank you and welcome to all (except the turd-flinger... you know who you are!). We've got a great show for you tonight, for "R Day". And by "great", I mean, stuff I find interesting, and will foist upon you, confident that you will find them the same, by sheer force of my own overwhelmingly charming personality. So sit back, grab half of that PB&J on the plate before you, and enjoy the show.

Favorite Movies (R):

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981): Dang, was this really released in 1981? Sheesh, I was only 11! What's that all about? Anyway, not much I can tell you about this film that you don't already know. Represents the pinnacle of action movie making, in my opinion. Although I watched it with my daughters last year, and they were so bored with it, they left the room. So I grounded them for a month, and passed wind on their iPhones. That'll learn 'em. Indy for President!

Raising Arizona (1987): The only film on my Favorite's list with Nicolas Cage in it. Surrounded by great actors/actresses (Holly Hunter, John Goodman, Trey Wilson), I guess Cage can be stomached. Actually, he really owns the role of H.I. McDunnough very well. And the film was helmed by the Coen Brothers, so that's a huge plus. Quirky, absurd, hilarious, great dialog, memorable characters, fun plot... love it.

Favorite Movie Characters (R):

Steve Martin as Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982): Another great combination of talent - Steve Martin and Rob Reiner. This is a comedy spoof/homage to old black-and-white Noir detective films, which cleverly incorporates scenes from other famous detective movies into the story. So Martin gets to act alongside Bogart, Cagney, Cary Grant, Ingrid Bergman, Bette Davis and many other Hollywood heavyweights, all while layering on his trademark goofy comedy. Very clever, funny and well done. Yeah, the plot is rather ridiculous, but with the laughs coming so quickly, it's easily for me to overlook plot weaknesses. I believe I like this role better than any other Steve Martin role I've seen (including The Jerk).

Favorite Authors (R):

Patrick Rothfuss: It's hard for me to believe I thought I had nothing for "N Day" a few days back... how I could overlook The Name of the Wind as a Favorite Book, I have no idea. It was right there, on my list and everything, under N! Sheesh! I'm a tool! Anyway, true, Pat has written only two novels thus far, but man, are they good. Very good. The Name of the Wind has hung out in the Top 5, as far as favorite books I've read, since I first enjoyed it a few years back. It will be a mainstay on my Biennial Reread List as well, as long as I draw breath. Wonderful characters, wonderfully written, and a wonderful beard... what more should a fantasy fan need?

Favorite Songs (R):

Running To Standstill by U2: This is from, perhaps, the best album of all time, Joshua Tree.

[Honorable Mentions: Redeemer, by Nicole C Mullen]

Favorite Bands/Singers (R):

Matt Redman: The sheer number of amazing songs that Matt Redman has penned over the past 20 years is almost overwhelming. Dozens of terrific, memorable songs, each one I think, "yeah, that's probably my favorite", until I hear the next and think the same thing. Of all of his albums, I think Facedown is the best one - and it was recorded live. I'm so glad God has someone like Matt that loves Him - I wish I could claim that level of love and worship, but I'm not there yet. I think very few are. Maybe Misty Edwards and a handful of others, that's it...  Anyway, great stuff.

Odds & Ends (R):

Favorite Books: The Riddler's Gift by Greg Hamerton
People I'd Like To Meet: Brian Regan (comedian)
Favorite Movie Performances: Mark Ruffalo as Detective Fanning in Collateral (2004)
Favorite Games: C&C: Red Alert
Favorite Blogs: Rememorandom (Logan for President!)

OK, ladies and gentlemen, that is all for tonight. I trust you enjoyed the show. If not, you can take it up with Dreadnought, our new Complaints Manager...

Be sure to come back tomorrow, so we can gouge you again for tickets to the "S Day" show!

Adios for now,

Dave the Rugged, Ridiculous and Rug-Burned