Sunday, May 2, 2010

"Language is a Tool for Concealing Truth." - George Carlin



Yeah, yeah, I know... you missed me. I get it, alright! I'm awesome and witty and amusing and dashing and gassy! A perfect mix, when it comes to churning out haphazard blog mediocrity... which you are hopelessly addicted to. You've re-read the last couple posts numerous times, all the while sighing wistfully, wishing I would update.

Well, your wish has come true!

You may change your wish after seeing that I'm going to lead with a parenthesis butt...

(__|__)  <------

Yep, that's the intellectual high point for this post. It's all downhill from here... sorry...

OK, well, now that you are depressed, I will depress you further... I saw a video tonight that is the saddest video I've seen in ages. I'm just going to link to it instead of embed it, since it is too, too sad... you may think I'm kidding, but I'm not. It is sad. Click at your own risk. It is a video of a cat trying to revive his companion cat that got run over by a car and died. Hey, that's not funny! It's sad! I never said I was trying to be funny!

CLICK HERE to go to YouTube and be bummed out...

OK, in the interest of balance, here's a funny picture...

Carth Vader... come on, that's pretty funny, right? 

Did it cheer you back up yet? No? OK, well, here's another...

It's a Reuben's Cube! 

Get it?! See, it's funny, because it's like the Reuben sandwich, but it's also, like, shaped like a Rubic's Cube, see? Clever, right?

O_o

No?

OK, well, I suppose I'm reduced to fart humor then... here's a recent White Ninja comic...


There... if gratuitous fart humor doesn't cheer you back up, nothing will!

Man, a guy links to a sad cat video and you'd think it was the end of the world! Get over it! Things die, that's just the way the world is! I didn't write the rules, I just break them like everyone else! Sheesh!

Hey, I thought of something last night, and I chewed on it today, so I thought I'd dump it here and see if you all come up with the same conclusion I did...

You're Beautiful!

So, back when I went to that bizarre Men's Retreat a couple months back, the speaker said something that was interesting... he said all women need to be told that they are beautiful. It isn't just that it would be nice... he said that literally, it is a need that all women have... to be told that they are beautiful.

First off, is that true? If you're a lady, is it just nice to hear once in a while, or is it literally something you NEED to hear?

If it is a NEED, it seems to me that there would be a VERY limited number of people that could possibly meet that need without it being awkward/creepy/profoundly ineffective. Ladies, if a random man came up to you and told you that he thought you were beautiful, wouldn't you immediately question his motives? Would it in every case creep you out, or would it depend on if the man was (what you considered) handsome or not? Is there any occasion you can think of where a random guy could tell you that you were beautiful that you would receive it positively, or would it always be Red Flag City?

What about guys that you know? Think of everyone that you know that is a male. If he's a family member, wouldn't you immediately think "well, he's supposed to say that, he's my dad/brother/husband." Or if it's your boyfriend, wouldn't you think the same thing? What if he was a male friend that you had no sort of relationship with or feelings toward whatsoever? Let's say you're single, and a married male friend of your tells you that you're beautiful... wouldn't that creep you out? Would you interpret it as him hitting on you? Or a single male friend tells you that you're beautiful... could you ever simply receive it at face value without automatically assuming that he was flattering you in order to get something from you? Angling for a date, perhaps?

I assume another female telling you that you're beautiful wouldn't have much effect, would it? I don't mean anything romantic, I mean like your girlfriend going, "Oh, Susie, you look so beautiful tonight!" Does that meet that NEED, or does that not count?

I guess my question is, if it really is a NEED in all women to be beautiful (and told so), in what context could another person tell you so, that would effectively meet that need and be positive, healthy, effective, and not suspect/creepy/weird? Do you take flattery well? I guess that's another way to put it. As a married dude, I don't think it's my position to tell any woman other than my wife and daughters that they are beautiful, right? Wifey never believes me when I tell her, and the kids think I have to say it because I'm dad. But I do still have working eyes! I can tell if someone is handsome/beautiful or not! Yet I can't really imagine telling any of you I thought you were beautiful without it being awkward.

So if it is a NEED in EVERY woman, it strikes me that the parameters for getting that need met in a positive, healthy way are ridiculously narrow. Can't you only get that need met effectively by another single, attractive man, who fits the profile that you personally find attractive, while every other person that told you that you were beautiful would be "weird" to hear? Or am I missing something here?



OK, so I finished the Warrior's collection of short stories. I may write a review (of sorts) soon, just to highlight a couple of the tales I thought were worthy of the spotlight. I read many very good ones... but I can't help it. There's something about the way George RR Martin writes that puts him in a class by himself. I don't know what it is, really. He's so easy to read, and the page just opens up. And I noticed with the story he had in there, that he threw out tons of character names and references to historical events and places, which usually drives me insane... but in his case, it didn't bother me at all. Maybe it's because he's so good at name creation, and in making his references so casual and natural that they just feel right.

Meh, I'll write more soon...

I also bought a Web Book! So I'll be doing some writing tonight, w00t!

Nothing else to say. Going to go work on the Piranha newsletters, write a bit, read a bit, and go the heck to bed!

Adios

Dave the Goof

9 comments:

logankstewart said...

The video wasn't too sad until the cat curled up and lay down by the dead cat. Then it was a bit sad... :(

I think my head exploded on the "You're Beautiful" Conundrum.

WV: lowrap. Is that a rapper who sings bass?

Abbie said...

it was actually sad? good thing I didn't click on it! Just hearing about it makes me sad :(
um... Even though we disregard what our male family members or older "grandfather"ly types say to us about being beautiful, I still think it is good to hear. Kind of like hearing "I love you" from your family. Pretty much you start knowing its true even if they say it in a funny way or grudgingly, but you still need it to be said.

But "beautiful" usually sparks disbelief in most females, I think, 'cause at least I start thinking of people with luxerious hair or tall, lithe, willowly figures (too much fantasy reading I guess :/). And that word actually seems to be used so rarely now a-days. It either "hott" or "pretty", which seems so average now...

thanks dave, way to think about something so totally random, but provoking at the same time! :/

Drydoryssus said...

I've seen kittens tend to their dying or dead siblings this way lots of times ...

I don't think I can sort out an answer for that conundrum as well, not even a draft.
But it's true that recognition of a woman's beauty is crucial to her self-esteem and psychology, so in a sense, it's more than a nice thing to hear, but no vital need either.
Truth is always somewhere in the middle ...


P.S. Use more parenthesis butts in the future. They keep the readers alarmed and focused.

John. said...

All women need to be told is that they are beautiful? That's interesting, I thought all they needed to be told was to make me a sandwich.

David Wagner said...

Is Abbie the only brave female soul to tackle the beauty subject, eh? Maybe it was offensive in a way I don't realize. Maybe it was too convoluted to follow so people skipped it. Maybe the answer is obvious and I just don't see it. Or maybe the ladies all have better things to do than take the time to set me straight on this...

In any case, thank you Abbie for your thoughts!

As for the dudes, hey, thanks for your input as well... I made Logan's head explode, I made John hungry for a sammich, and Dry reeled a bit, and then offered some good thoughts on middle ground.

I guess I'll just check this thread now and then to see if anyone else (hopefully female) leaves a comment here.

Thanks y'all!

havah said...

Well, darn, I watched the cat video, now I'm all soggy-eyed and such. Thanks for that.

As for the beautiful bit: Women do need to know that they're beautiful (and by "need", I don't mean need as in they'll die without it), but they need to know it at a whole person level, and from people whom they value. From strangers it's nice, but dismissable. I'll think about it more, okay?

yanni said...

In our society it is key for chicks to be hot otherwise they are not pursued by men very often because it is the first (and for many men) the most important impression they make by being good looking or not. So... if they don't have that plus they could have the impression that they aren't worth going after to begin with. Basically they have a lack of self confidence if they don't get the assurance that they have that first all-important trait. Or I could be full of crap and it could just be that by saying something vague like you are “beautiful”, a girl could take that in any way she wanted and then feel good about herself that way because she has a beautiful bod, smile, personality, voice, unibrow, or whatever.

Krista said...

I don't know if it's a need or not but if some calls me pretty or beautiful it always makes me smile and feel all happy inside... haha! But yeah, if You, Dave, told Me I was beautiful it'd be awkward. lol :D I think it's different for every girl, I'm sure. Plus, what someone finds beautiful is always ugly in anothers eyes...

Grace Sandlin said...

Women do need to be told they are beautiful, and often. We should be told we are beautiful by our significant others and our fathers. I think it is a significant problem in our society because we have not been esteemed by our parents growing up. Of course our fathers are biased, and they should be, but it is part of their job as a parent to begin to instill a sense of value in their daughters. My parents both tell me I'm beautiful and I need to hear it from both of them. My sisters tell me I'm beautiful and I need to to hear it from them. I don't care if I am the most beautiful person in the world or even more beautiful than other people, I just have to feel it in myself. I tell my friends that, my sisters that, and my mother. I hear it from my father, and from some friends. It does not creep me out if it comes from people other than family members. Unless of course the person is a creepy sort of person.
Times when I do think it isn't inappropriate would be: Hal at church tells me all the time. He is like a grandfather sort of person. My ex husband's friends used to tell him that he was lucky because I was very attractive. Then he would relay that to me. I didn't think that was inappropriate at all. If I get all dressed up for some occasion, and my male friends say something like, wow you look great or fabulous!, it isn't inappropriate. I tell your daughters they are beautiful (and they are). It only will be dismissive if the person receiving the compliment does not believe it for themselves.
The reason we need to hear it is because we need to believe it, know it, feel it.