Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Lord Thunders Over the Mighty Waters. (Psalm 29:3)

Actually, yes, there is something different about me today... funny you should notice so quickly! Do you want to guess?

No, my hair is the same. No, my nose has always been this big. Keep guessing. No, my breath is still "questionable". One more guess?

Yes! Good job! The carpets in my house are clean! So cool that you could tell that just by reading this post! Your powers of perception are, as usual, impressive. Well, except for the part about you thinking my nose has grown even bigger. But I'm in a good mood, so I'll let that one go.

May I point out that I did, in fact, say "let that one go" without following it up with a fart joke. I point that out since that one was so subtle, it likely slipped past you without you noticing.

And yes, I did just say "slipped" and "passed" without following them up with fart jokes. See! I'm maturing!

Funny Picture Time:
No, I don't know anyone in the picture, it's just funny, ok? Sheesh!

So I started the P90X program yesterday, lol. OMG, you are not going to believe this story...

So the first thing they have you do is measure body fat, get your weight, use a tape measure to measure various appendages, and then take what's known as the "Fit Test". This is where they have you do a number of simple exercises to determine if you are in good enough shape to handle the program. Stuff like, do at least 15 push-ups, at least 3 pull-ups, have a vertical leap of at least 6 inches, do 10 bicep curls using 20lb dumbbells, etc. I could pretty much hit the minimums in the categories (except pull-ups... and the wall-sit. Fail!). And then you end by doing 2 minutes of jumping jacks, followed by noting your heart rate immediately after stopping, and then every minute after for 5 minutes...

So I get about 45 seconds into my jumping jacks, and I have to stop. I fail. Can't do it anymore. I take my heart rate, and it's racing at 130, pounding out of my chest. Wifey's is 120. One minute later, Wifey's heart rate is down to 90. Mine is still pounding at 130. And I'm feeling light headed. And I can't breathe. And I'm beginning to sweat great sheets of sweat. I sit down on a nearby chair, and I can tell I'm seconds away from passing out. Wifey rushes over, and I'm on the edge of consciousness, heart still pounding, stars dancing in my head, I'm done for. She sends Middle Daughter rushing off to get me some Powerade. Wifey was scared, she said she'd never seen me so pale. About 15 minutes later and I'm able to open my eyes and lift my head. I make it to the couch and crash. I sleep for about an hour...

I KID YOU NOT! The "pre-program Fit Test" kicked my butt! I didn't even get to the first workout! BUAHAHAHAHA!!!  I am so out of shape, it's far worse than I thought! It's so embarrassing! The whole time, right about to pass out, I'm thinking, "OMG I have to blog about this! This is so friggin hilarious!" Granted, it was also a bit unnerving. It's not like I was in pain, I just felt like I was in a sauna, and that my heart was going to pound out of my chest, that's all...

So, I don't know if diving into the P90X program right away is a good idea... I may have to start way down at the bottom, with their "10 Minute Workouts" program instead. I just hope it isn't 10 minutes of jumping jacks! Gads, I'm such a slug.

But at least I got some good "before" pictures of my pudginess... it just might take a bit longer than 90 days to get to my chiseled, manly "after" pictures, with my wash-board stomach. I'll have to keep my wash-tub stomach for a bit longer...

Here is a cool music video from the band OK-GO, featuring a wild, single-shot Rube Goldberg set-up. As usual, with this band the videos are better than the songs...

I watched the movie Zombieland tonight. A waste of a good 90 minutes.

I also went to my weekly Writer's Club meeting. We spent an hour going over the whole story of my Fantasy Novel. I made a big map, and had index cards for each of the characters, including a drawing, and some basic character info. Then as I told the summary of the entire story, I would move the cards around on the map, and it was quite fun! The other writers all got into it, and I was able to bounce things off of them in a way that I can't under the usual meeting format. Normally, each week all 4 of us submit about 20 pages of our books to the rest of the group, and then when we meet, we take turns critiquing/discussing those 20 pages. Tonight's meeting opened up the whole story.

So excitement is riding high. They all have encouraged me to write as much as I want, and add as many characters as I want, and then do any trimming during re-writes, if needed. This story is going to be a beast... I hope you all like it.

Rug Shop Day tomorrow. Gonna focus on more web stuff.

Hope your week is going well.



Drydoryssus said...

"The Lord thunders over the mighty waters" ... Hmm.

No blasphemy intended, but that "thundering" over the "waters" reference coming out of Dave's mind really scares me ...

I can tell you my heart was beating faster than that as I read the "let that one go" line !

Krista said...

ha-ha I'm sorry, Dave, but that is just too funny! Good luck with your work out and getting into shape!

What? You didn't like Zombieland? I thought that movie was pretty funny. A lil' lame here and there but funny!

Good luck with your novel.

All the best.

logankstewart said...

I saw that WIN picture on the Failblog the other day. I guess it's only funny if you watch CSI: Miami, which I do, and I laughed.

Indeed, funnily scary, friend, about the P90X regime.

Aw, c'mon, Zombieland was a rollicking, fun, good time. The jokes were funny. The rules were funny. The special famous celebrity cameo stuff was funny, if not predictable. I liked it, even if the plot was a bit lacking.

That's excellent about the writing group, too. I wish there was something like that around here.

WV: grins. I just couldn't help myself. I had to share this CAPTCHA. It's a real word!

Abbie said...

wow dave! thats intense! Jumping jacks are killer, I hate them! They kill me too... :P

glad your meeting went well! I want to see your map! that would be so awesome!

Joseph said...

Dang that video is hardcore. There are some interesting 'making of' videos if you google it.

Thanks for sharing.