Sunday, March 21, 2010

Dwell in the Land, and Enjoy Safe Pasture. (Psalm 37:3)

Yeah, yeah, I know... The weekend is over, and now a new week begins. No need to get all angry at me about it! I don't control time! I can't just hit the cosmic pause button and make your weekend last longer! I'm just a man! And a tubby one at that!

But while I can't control time, I can control my bladder. And for that, you should be rather grateful...

Yay! Jury duty! Yay!


Did it sound convincing? Meh, oh well.

I'm on a criminal case as a jury member, in case you didn't figure that out yet... I'm juror #8, which actually means I'm in the front row of the jury box, right near the witness stand. So I get to look right in their beady little eyes and try to blink secret messages at them in Morse code, in an effort to get at what *really* happened! Those shifty lawyers! I don't trust them to figure it all out by themselves! They need my help!

Of course, I'm kidding. I'm a good little juror, and I take seriously what is happening. It is pretty interesting, though I admit it is hard to keep an open mind and be conclusion-free before hearing all the testimony and evidence. Hard, but not impossible. Seems a pretty straight-forward case thus far, but we're still early on in the trial. Should be an interesting week. I keep fighting the urge to wait until a tense moment in testimony and release a really large, loud fart. Then I'd shoot to my feet and shout, "Your Honor, I object! And I move for a mistrial!" Then I'd run for the door. The Bailiff would tackle and cuff me, and I'd be hauled off weeping and calling out for my mom.

But I've resisted the urge thus far.

I did solve my little transportation problem, thankfully. I'm just going to park at the main bus station here in Escondido and ride the Express Bus right into downtown, slick as snot. Then ride it back on up at the end of the day! How do you like them apples?

OK, too much talk. Funny Picture time.

Na na na na na na na na Catman! I'll give you three guesses what happened to Robin...

I have a confession to make.

I stayed up really late on Saturday night, watching something I shouldn't have been watching online... yes... I'm talking about 9-11 Conspiracy videos! I watched a whole series of them on troublesome facts about the events surrounding that day. I know, I know... it shouldn't intrigue me, but it does. I can't help it. So much happened as a result of that day, and there seem to be so many things that don't sit right about it all with me. Maybe I'm just an easily-manipulated gump, who knows? I saw an author interviewed on Colbert last week, who has a book out on why sometimes seemingly intelligent, normal people feel the need to believe really wacky conspiracies about certain things, and I might buy it. Perhaps I can get insight into myself on this particular issue, because, really, the whole 9-11 thing just stinks to me, for a myriad of reasons.

But I better shift gears before I offend people here. Touchy subject.

I sat down with the family (at their request) to watch the movie 2012 over the weekend. Wow, it was every bit the turd I thought it would be. If I hadn't promised the family, I would have bolted the room after about 15 minutes. The only good thing I can say about the film is that a novel writer gets to be the hero! How cool is that! Small consolation being a hero that saves his ex-wife and kids, when 99% of the earth's population died...

OK, one more Funny Picture and I'm out for now...

Avian Nonconformity...

Adios for now.



Giuseppe said...

2012? I now see that Batman Forever was just a gateway movie. I should have never made you watch it. Who knows what you will start watching now...

Nice of you to sacrifice for the family though.

I saw that interview as well. If you read the book let me know how it is.

Rebecca said...

Love the opening picture. Yay, it's spring officially!

Hope you do well as Juror #8. I don't want to read about you in the news an errant farter or a manipulator of the jury. No Runaway Jury stuff. Can't wait to hear about the case once it's over.

Drydoryssus said...

Catman ate Robin !

Crystal said...

I didn't care for 2012 either.

I've never been selected to serve on a jury. I've been dismissed both times I've been summonded. I think it would be fascinating to serve on a jury.

Paula Titus said...

I knew you'd find a way out of that parking dilemma - 'cause you're smart and stuff.

I haven't seen 2012, but no longer trust your judgment since Gran Torino. ;)