"Rabbit Hole" or "Habit Roll," Which One?

Tuesday evening, a little after 10 pm Pacific. Interior office, night. 


DAVE sits at his computer, as usual, trying desperately to find meaning in what he occupied himself with today. He hasn't left the house at all today. His day has been a typical mix of work and play, with occasional forays out into the kitchen or livingroom, wandering in a daze, trying to extricate himself from the double-edged sword of his daily routine, which at once brings him comfort and depression. Like a vortex, his office sucks him back in, where he sits, alone, staring at a pair of monitors, engaging in a rotating array of activities, never doing one thing for very long. He searches for meaning, for a sense of accomplishment, for a feeling of purpose.


He contemplates writing a poem, and dismisses it, feeling he wouldn't be able to be subtle enough about what weighs heavily upon his heart to avoid making people feel uncomfortable reading it. The title itself - "Alone In A House Full of People" - is enough to drive readers away, and he can't have that. He covets comments, and people won't comment if they aren't coming to the blog anymore! DAVE realizes it's rather pathetic to get his validation from blog comments, but at the moment, pathetic or not, he'll take what he can get.


DAVE sighs and resigns himself to the fact that he'll once again default to blogging about the barely-interesting details of his day, hoping to squeeze in just enough strained humor and forced optimism to make his visitors feel reading the post was worth doing. Inside, he wishes he could just cut loose and unpack his heart in a giant block of uninterrupted literary vomit, screaming from the rooftop of his little corner of the world, but he knows that would be unseemly. So, sitting in his chair, fingers poised on his backlit keyboard, he sighs and begins to type.

Greetings all! Dave here, with another daily dose of drivel! Take a gander at the sky in that pic there... amazing, eh? I wonder where that is?

It's been a good day today, really. I'm taking a "big picture" approach in saying that... I have a lot to be thankful for, so complaining about the "little things" will get me nowhere...

Started a new book last night. Was feeling out of sorts, so I made myself an ice cream Sunday, then sat in the bathtub, reading Gardens of the Moon, by Steven Erikson. It's Book One in his 10-book series called the Malazan Book of the Fallen. The thought of once again diving into a Fantasy World with new weirdly-named people, places and histories was initially daunting, but I made myself focus and dive in. I'm glad I did - the story hits the ground running, and the writing is quite good thus far. I'm pleased, and shall proceed accordingly.

Also, made more progress on my own novel tonight. I've decided to try my hand at working out a gameplan for the week, as far as forcing myself into a different daily/weekly schedule. Instead of just telling myself I want to write every day, I'm setting a specific time slot (in my case 9pm to 10:30 pm each night), and I'll do the same with exercise (pushups/situps each morning at this time, walk the hill on these days at this time, etc.), and diet.

I broke my "no soda" resolution today... what can I say? I was in a funk, I'd made some chili, and the case of Dr. Pepper was right there, taunting me. I gave in. Hopefully it will be a one-time event.

I finally got to see the chiropractor on Monday. He fixed my back and neck, and then scolded me for sleeping on the couch. He said I'd be better off sleeping on the floor. I had planned to be back in my own bed, with my own Wifey as of Jan 1st, but apparently, that ain't gonna happen any time soon. I'm thinking of just buying a futon and setting up in my office. If I get a chamberpot, I'll never have to leave!

Tonight, the girls were in the other room watching American Idol, which I could hear in the background. At one point, some guy was singing a weird rendition of All My Loving, by the Beatles. After a few lines, my 4 year old says, "Hey, that's the Beatles!" Eldest Daughter said, "No, it isn't... wait, is it the Beatles?" Wifey agreed that it was, in fact, a Beatles song, and then they all marveled that a 4 year old could recognize the song, especially how it was being sung.

Ah, that's one of those moments that is much cooler in the occurrence than in the retelling. Sorry, I guess you had to be there...

Funny T-Shirt Time!

Awesome. My mustache, at its longest, was a haphazard mess...

Blackjack humor! Yeah, I know... but double-entendres are all the rage nowadays...

And now, a Cute/Funny Animal Picture, just to lift the post vibe a bit further...

Snarl!

Have a big business meeting planned at the Rug Shop on Wednesday. We're going to try and revamp and reinvigorate our business plan. I hope I'm able to focus and actually contribute something productive to the conversation. I'm such a space cadet sometimes, especially when I'm in an extended blue funk.

At least I have some good Facebook Scrabble games going, which always makes me happy, win or lose. Right now, I have games going with Mike D, Beth A, Cathy O, Abbie J and Rebecca J, with an open invitation to Rebekah M., if she ever wants to join in on the fun... if any of you reading this want to get a game going, let me know! It's very casual - you make a move at your own convenience. We don't have to both be online playing at the same time. Play at your own pace, when you have time. Very cool.

If I haven't expressed my appreciation for all your friendships (both real life and virtual) lately, let me do that now. Sorry to get all mushy about things, but you guys keep me sane. Thanks for your support and friendship.

Guess I'm going to hit the road now. I hope you all are having a great week. Rest well, Havah, wherever you are.

Dave.

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Interior office, night. DAVE hits the "publish post" button on his blog, and lets slip yet another sigh. His confidence is cracked but holding. He feels he should be fine for the short term, but the weeks stretch out ahead of him in an increasingly dark progression. He hopes that it is merely a byproduct of the time of year, and that as Spring approaches, his prospects will improve, both personally and in business.  He tries to take the edge off by reminding himself that it is likely that half the earth's population would gladly change lives with him, given the opportunity, since he has so bloody much going for him, in spite of the "problems" that pound on him. It works to a point, as usual. For now, all he can do is toss up another small prayer, and see to the next task immediately before him.