I'm a Free Man, and I'm Going Out the Front Door!

 
"Pack a lunch" or "lack a punch," which one?

Greetings from the left coast! Where the weather is nice, even when it is bad! It was windy today - I love it. Usually the only wind around here is in my office, eminating from yours truly. Hey, blame wifey - she doesn't monitor my diet... I mean, who would stand by and let me eat all the nonsense that I eat? If she loved me, she'd duct tape my mouth closed, only RRRRIPPPING it off when it was time for a meal... hey, I never liked facial hair anyway...

I'm sad. Wanna know why? Ok, here it is: Facebook Scrabble won't load for me... I either get a blank screen full of nothing, or "load errors"... my Scrabble buddies are going to think I'm ignoring them! And you know what an "end of the world" scenario that would be. Hell hath no fury like a Scrabble Buddy scorned...

And now, a display case with all the ingredients in Red Bull Cola...

See? I just knew you were all wondering if such an item existed! And, here it is! That's why I keep winning all of the blogging awards - it's this sort of stellar blog fodder that has earned me the respect, admiration and - dare I say it - the love of the masses! Think of it! Where else on the web will you see such a thing? Well, other than the site I ripped it from, I mean...

Fine, nobody loves or respects me, I admit it... and the only awards I've won are the Zombie Chicken Award and the Smells Vaguely of Corn Nuts Award. Nothing to brag about, I assure you... but if they shut me up, who will take my place?

Speaking of corn nuts, go to THIS ARTICLE to see a 14 photo slideshow of Tim Burton-inspired fashion... like these two shots!

A girl has to have a bit of glamour... I think my sweet mommy would especially enjoy those pics... now that she finally has a pair of glasses that work. Sheesh, a two-week-long headache. That'll push anyone to the edge...

OK, here's this week's Challenge That Will Impress the Heck out of Dave: Go to this Open Culture page, containing free foreign language lessons, pick a random language, and learn to speak something in it. They're mostly for learning necessary phrases for when you are going to travel to a country... but think of it as a cool party trick! "Check me out! I can ask you where the subway station is in Hindi!" If someone actually does this, I can't say what you'll win (since I just thought the challenge up off the tippy-top of my pointed head), but at the very least, it will impress the heck out of me! So you've got that to look forward to...

Speaking of parties, what are your Halloween plans? Leave your answers in a comment!

You know what I hate? Blogs where the author asks a generic question and then tells readers to leave their answer in the comments... I hate that.

Speaking of hating that... here's a video of some dude getting airborn in his dad's Oldsmobile...

He'll regret it to his dying day, if he ever lives that long...

Speaking of Oldsmobiles...

Oh, nevermind. You guys just aren't ready for references to Oldsmobiles. You'd think that after almost 10 solid months of blogging here that you'd all be emotionally and constitutionally prepared to handle an Oldsmobile reference, but no, you are not. So I shall resort to whining about the Matrix sequels again...

Man, Matrix Revolutions sucked.

There.

Todayve In History: October 29

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- October 29, 1787: Mozart's opera Don Giovanni first performance, in Prague.

- October 29, 1863: The International Red Cross is born! (Next, you will be telling me that the Crown no longer governs this nation.)

- October 29, 1886: NYC's first ever "ticker tape parade", as office workers spontaneously throw ticker tape into the streets to celebrate the dedication of the Statue of Liberty. (If you saw those kids on the street, you'd do the same...)

- October 29, 1960: Cassius Clay wins his first professional fight. (Yeah, well, David beat Goliath in the book I read...)

- October 29, 1966: The National Organization for Women is founded. (Factory's no place for a woman, Angela...)

OK, one Funny T-shirt, and I'm out...

Ah, you gotta love the Ahmish... strange creatures we are, even to ourselves. Until tomorrow, remember, I've never seen a man drink two pints at the same time...