OK, we've covered how to make all of the more common mixed drinks and cocktails, so now we transition into a few of the more obscure ones. This one is called a "Well-Worn Path". So, on that rare occasion when one of Dave's fans comes into the pub and orders this, here's what you do.
First, start with 20 ounces of Caramel Macchiato (2% milk, espresso, vanilla syrup and caramel). Pour it into the blender, like this. OK, now we need to toss in a barely-interesting personal observation, as a thickening agent... here, this one will work...
"Summertime! And today was Sunday. A summer Sunday! Plus, a nap! It was wonderful, every minute of it. Yes, I've said it before, but it bears repeating, if only to stress the legitimacy of the thought: my Sunday nap is quickly becoming the highlight of my week. I think it mostly stems from my inability to get to bed before 2am every night, then getting up at 8... string a few '5-to-6 hours of sleep' nights in a row and by Sunday, I need an hour or two to recoup. Man, getting a twin bed in my office was a great idea. We got it for Mother-In-Law's visit last December, and kept it in here after she returned home again. Good move. Yes, I realize that there is a never-ending stream of things to fret about, both in my personal life and out there in the scary, real world... but dadgummit, I love my nap time."
OK, I guess that will work. Not the best choice; it's a rather stale take, but for instructional purposes, it will serve. Now, add in two-to-three Funny Pictures. I keep them here, under the bar, near the extra bottles of gin. Go ahead, pick out a couple...
OK, a comic strip will work fine, I suppose. Not the ideal choice, but really, most people who order this drink won't care. It doesn't affect flavor too much, especially if you mix in a strong-enough video clip. But we need another pic. Grab another.
Hmm... I get it... Mr. T = Mr. Tea.... It's clever, sort of... but we might need something with a bit more of a kick...
Man, you like those comic strips, don't you... OK, no, that's fine. It certainly is funny enough, in an absurd way. I can see why Dave stashed that one; it fits his sense of humor perfectly.
OK, go ahead and blend those together with the nap story and the macchiato. Good, good. Now take the lid off and toss in a video clip. For best results, it needs to be amusing, or amazing.
Hmm... well, yeah, I can see the appeal... a mash-up of golf and military shooter video games, not bad. Has some good ideas and dialog.
Out of curiosity, what would your second choice be?
Gahh! Seriously? Naader consuming 6 pounds of nacho cheese sauce in under 4 minutes? Whoever gets this drink would be able to taste that, for sure. No, definitely, we'll use the golf clip.
OK, at this point you can either mix in ice, give it a final blend and serve, or you can sprinkle other things in. Well, like a random theological observation. I keep those there, in that drawer. Grab one off the top there. What? Oh yeah, I forgot I keep that drawer locked. Here, lemme unlock it. OK, go ahead and grab one.
"I've been wrestling with the idea of worship again. I mean, I understand the idea of being grateful to God for what He's done, for who He is and for what He's made available to us, as far as opportunities, etc., but I still have no idea why He'd want people (either masses of them or individual ones) to literally bow down and worship Him. I can't imagine wanting that kind of adoration. I certainly can't picture myself ever wanting another person to fall at my feet and worship me, going on and on about how awesome I am and how unworthy he/she is... granted, in my head, I know the answer is likely that God actually deserves it, so it's right to go that far with it... but it still doesn't make sense to me that He would not just appreciate but require that type of 'fall on your face before me and tell me how much you love me' type of adoration. Again, I'm not taking a shot at Him, or saying I don't love/appreciate Him... I just don't get the whole 'on your face, bowing and scraping' part."
Hmm. Yeah, that one might not go over too well. It seems to me it would be too easily misunderstood. Like it's a red flag that Dave's backsliding or something. It could ruin the flavor of the whole drink. Let's not put that in. Maybe get a book recommendation or a website to check out or something... yeah, like that Lifehacker article there. Throw that in...
Top Ten Clever Hacks For Things You Thought Were Trash
Good. OK, I think we're ready to blend and serve. There, taste that. What do you think? Yeah, well, some people really like it, for some reason. It's light, has an odd, nutty flavor, gives a quick buzz, and tastes good with beef jerky tacos. Why? Do you think it's missing something? Such as?
That's disgusting. You're fired.