Thursday, July 26, 2012

Furious, Curious and Spurious, All at the Same Time!


Ah, those lazy Dave's of Summer... what's a man to do but weep?

Why am I weeping, you may wonder? Well, because no one commented on my last blog post, that's why! And there's nothing sadder than an unloved blog post. Especially a post by someone as thoroughly awesome as I am. Look, I'll forgive you this one time, since I know you're probably either at work all day and too tired at night, or you're in the Caribbean, lounging on some remote, golden beach somewhere with spotty internet reception, working on your tan. OK, I get that. Just, take a moment and go find something on the previous post that's worth commenting on, then drop that comment in there like a boss.... go on, I'll wait....

While I was waiting, I went back and re-read the previous post.... man, what a boring, lifeless string of nonsense THAT post was! No wonder it was scorned and shunned! I am stained by association, and now stand ashamed under the waterfall of your derision. I solemnly promise to try better next time.... meaning this time...

OK, well, where to begin?


A Bill Murray anecdote is always a great place to start. I mean, who doesn't love all things Bill Murray? Yeah, he's goofy looking, and sings poorly, who cares! He's a legend! Can't you easily imagine him doing such a thing to someone at Wendy's? I know, right?

OK, well, I think that counts for a step in the right direction, as far as redeeming myself in your eyes. Let's see, what else do I have..?

Here, watch how casual this cat is with a snake harassing it...



Exactly the opposite of the way I would imagine a cat would react.

What?! O, come on! That video was cool, right? No?! You docked me for posting it? Back to square one?

Sheesh, you're killin me over here....

OK, fine, let's see...


There. That's a pretty creative hairdo, right? I kinda wish I had the nerve to do that to my hair. Do you think that's photoshopped? Or a hairpiece? Or legit? I'd like to think it's legit. Although I doubt he'd get many dates with a cut like that...

Hang on, I found another one...


Hmm.... same dude, I think. That must mean it's fake somehow. Ah, well, still pretty cool, I think.

OK, so did those pics bump me back in the right direction? Have I redeemed myself yet?

No?

OK, well, here's a video of men throwing rocks with their "other" hand, set to a woman singing softly in French... that should be worth a few points...



What say you?

Man, you're so finicky. I'm starting to think there's no pleasing you. What do I have to do, buy you six pairs of shoes or something?

What's your shoe size, by the way...?

OK, how about a quick run-down of where I'm at personally? Eating poorly. Working out sporadically due to bad neck. Enjoying home alone. Sweated like a pig delivering rugs today at work. Surprise project from Piranha to due in the next 36 hours. Playing 'Words With Friends' now for first time (hit me up on Facebook and we'll play!). LAN party this Saturday. Not reading anything good. August will be eventful. Co-worker bought a brand new 2013 Mustang GT (420+ HP) but is afraid to drive it because first gear is so sensitive, he stalls it a lot. Gonna see Dark Knight this Sunday I think. I'm out of cooking spray. I found what was making the kitchen stink. A good friend just had a baby the other day. I'm avoiding the surprise Piranha project by blogging right now.

There. Enough info? OK, one more pic...


Yes, I know... I have a thing for cats, you should know that about me by now.

I'm done. See you (probably) on Sunday...

Dave the Wagner

10 comments:

David Wagner said...

Yay! I'm the first one to leave a comment on this post! I win the game! The fame, the fortune, the opportunities, the sports cars... think of it!

What? I don't win anything?

*sigh* ah, well. It was worth a shot...

Anonymous said...

David,
Go for a walk on the beach, eat at an off beat eatery, talk to strangers. I guarantee you will have plenty to write about. You work with family, privacy, and upscale clients, so you have to protect their privacy because you are not anonymous.

I could write a daily blog on just what happens at work and people may not believe some of the unusual and quirky things that go on. Take the time that the Wagner Women are sojourning, and do something different each day! Then tell us about it.

Beth with an A.

Paula Titus said...

8

logankstewart said...

Great comment Paula! Cracked me up.

I'm a 13.

And that's a great Bill Murray anecdote, Mr. Wagner. Bravo!

David Wagner said...

Beth, you've inspired me. Thank you.

Paula: Half a dozen size eights, coming your way!

Logan: Bill Murray for President! And if not, then Logan for President! Of course, I always tell Abbie I'm voting for her for President. I'm so conflicted!

Drydoryssus said...

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David Wagner said...

Great... now I want to vote for DRY for President! What's a man to do? I mean, I'm not a Democrat! I can only vote once!

Rebecca said...

The video of the men throwing with the opposite arm was hysterical. Really?! And that music...

Don't accidentally send out some Crazy Cat Lady Starter kits when you are delivering shoes to your readers! I once saw a Hoarder episode where they pulled 75 cats out of a house...half of them were living. Ughh.

David Wagner said...

Reb: I'll try not to mix the shipments up, thx. What's your shoe size, by the way..? ;P

Anonymous said...

7 1/2 and I'd like sandles, please.