Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Sandfalls, New Things and Inner Canadians, Eh.


Greetings, earthlings! How's it goin', eh? Eh? (I'm channeling my inner Canadian, eh.)

The week is off to a roaring start! And by 'roaring', of course, I probably mean 'gassy'. You know how juvenile I am. I'm an 8th-grader trapped in a 40-year-old body. And as such, I think certain baser things are interesting and/or amusing.

Things like this!


Aw, yeah... steampunk wedding cake figurines. How cool would it be to use that on your wedding cake, eh? I'd do it, if I could go back in time. Of course, if I could go back in time, I wouldn't have worn a white tuxedo at my wedding either. Actually, now that I think on it, if I could go back in time...

Nah, better not go there...

We're all time travelers, in a way, if you think on it. It's just we all travel forward in time a day at a time, that's all...

Harsh segue! Ow!

If I could redesign my house, I'd buy the following new junk...


Of course, I'd start with the couch that converts into bunk beds... not sure about the color, though... I'd have to go with white, since then it would be impossible to keep clean...


I'd get diningroom chairs with big numbers on them, so I could crack lame puns during dinner, depending on the chair I was in. ("Boy, I eight so much food!" "I'm in three at last, three at last, thank God Almighty etc..." "Hey, what is this chair four again?" "I have to go number two" etc.)...

The perfect clock for the raging phlegmatic within... go ahead, eh... ask me what time it is, eh... (I guess I'm a phlegmatic Canadian).

And this wicked-cool multi-function stool. I wonder if it spins around and around, eh? Eh? I like the arm-rest. That way I have a place to set my energy drink before accidentally bumping it off with an errant elbow...

And finally...


Ah, yes. A bathroom with a view. Of course, this would mean I'd have to move into a high-rise. Unless I want a view of my neighbor's untrimmed hedges.

Oh, wait... those are MY untrimmed hedges! O_O

Here, check this video out. It will appeal to the inner Canadian child-slash-raging mathematician in you...



Holy mackerel... it took me forever to type "mathematician" correctly! I don't think I've ever typed that word in my life before. It looks weird, doesn't it? I misspelled it seven different ways before the red line disappeared. And here I thought I wuz so smert...

At least I didn't spell "correctly" incorrectly. That would have been ironic. I could have accidentally spelled it "colorectally"... what a pain in the butt that would have been...

BUAHAHAHA!!!!

O_o

OK, fine, I'll change the subject.

So I dressed up as a greaser today for work. Not intentionally, mind you. Yanni pointed it out. I had on jeans, a white t-shirt and my black leather jacket. I even had my hair sorta slicked back. The only thing that ruined the greaser look was the pair of red stiletto heels I wore...

Speaking of untrimmed hedges, I'm growing my beard out again. It's getting all bushy and unmanageable and wild, I love it. I'll be eating locusts and wild honey before I know it. Here, it's been a while since I pandered to my sense of narcissism and posted a head-shot. I shall now indulge. Behold, the beard!


I posted it small, so I wouldn't scare the children and small animals. You'll have to click it to see it bigger, if you're feeling intrepid. But be careful! That nose pops out like it's 3D!

Still, you gotta admit, that's an impressive beard. No one would argue that...


Ah, well... can't please everyone, eh? Eh?

Hey, Osama, someone's at the door for you! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Adios, y'all.

Dave the Goof

3 comments:

Michelle said...

Where do you find this stuff? Why can't I be as cool as you? The number chairs rock! Then my kids would never fight over where they sit....

The beard rocks. The hint of gray makes you look distinguished. Of course we might have to start calling you Grizzly Wagner.

David Wagner said...

I float around online and find stuff... it's what I do! For the greater good, just like Batman... sorry, no one is as cool as Batman...

logankstewart said...

Pendulum video may be the coolest thing I've ever seen. It's crazy how many different patterns it goes through. Awesome!

So, if you do stuff for the greater good, then are you an Amyr, too? Batman!