Monday, May 10, 2010

"I Was So Naive as a Kid, I Used to Sneak Behind the Barn and Do Nothing." - Johnny Carson


Hmm... lemme think... what to write about today, eh?

Went to my Writer's Group meeting tonight, and got feedback on another slice of my fantasy story. Still plugging along. Although part of me is wishing I had decided on a smaller story instead of such an epic, complex, multifaceted tale. Perhaps the epic tale is something I should have worked my way up to, after mastering the ability to write a much shorter length story. How can someone that doesn't know his right hand from his left about novel writing tackle a gigantic, complex story from the get go? Probably unwise.

A little late now. I jumped in, so I better try to finish the swim.

The problem is, I'm always getting derailed by big personal issues that rear up and overtake everything else in my life on a regular basis. If I could figure out how to handle that, I would be better off, perhaps...

OK, never mind, I won't go there. I really have nothing to complain about; I'm blessed hand-over-fist in just about every facet of my life.

I am a bit unnerved about the way the world is careening out of control toward financial collapse. I can't help but get the strong feeling that the whole thing is being orchestrated. It's probably just the conspiracy-embracing side of me, but I find it hard to believe that all of this financial turmoil that is accelerating at such a dramatic clip could happen of its own accord. It seems to me that the whole world financial system is being methodically pushed over the edge, so that in the resulting chaos and turmoil, a more unified global system/currency can be introduced and embraced, rather than rejected. If things are desperate enough, and people have no food, etc., then nationalism/patriotism/independence will be jettisoned in favor of a "we need to band together for our survival!" type of reasoning. Then we will swallow just about any new system, if only it brings peace and order and food back again.

Anyway, that makes sense to me. No way to introduce a unified global system (with power consolidated in far fewer hands) than to bring the current system crashing down spectacularly on its own head, with resulting panic and death.

Hmm... we've drifted into dangerously bummerific territory here. Better lighten things up a bit...

Gah! That just made the mood worse! Quick, post something funny Dave! QUICK!!1!

Ahh! Much better!

So I saw a couple movies recently. Here are two mini-reviews:

Law Abiding Citizen: This one was really good, actually. Though it was particularly brutal and violent. It's the story of a man (Gerard Butler) who is victim of a home-invasion style robbery, where his wife and daughter are killed. He's wounded, but survives. They catch the two robber/killers, but the prosecuting attorney (Jamie Foxx) decides the case isn't strong enough to get a conviction for both defendants, so without consent of his client, he strikes a deal that has one defendant testify against the other one. The result is one guy goes to death row, while the other get's 5 years for third-degree murder -- even though he's the one that actually killed Gerard's wife/daughter!

So we get a revenge tale of epic proportions, since it (conveniently) turns out that Gerard is a CIA-trained assassin, specializing in remote assassination via hi-tech gadgetry. Rather than merely exacting revenge on the two robbers, he embarks on a meticulously thought-out mission of revenge that he hopes will bring the whole justice system crashing down, to force it to change. He feels slighted, you see. He feels that his lawyer should have gone full-bore to trial, in order to sentence both of the scumbag robbers to death, even though there was a chance they would have both walked free if the case failed to hold up in court.

I won't tell you how it ends, in case you want to see it -- which I do recommend. The acting is straight-forward, nothing Oscar-worthy. Same with the direction/writing/screenplay. It is pretty much a solid Hollywood action flick, with some nice action, and mildly-satisfying twists and turns and a solid (though implausible) ending. Nicely filmed.

Summary: 4/5 good action film, satisfying watch. One of those films that is worth watching once, and then maybe watching again with a friend or two that hasn't seen it yet, so you can watch them enjoy seeing it.

----------------------------------

The other movie I watched is an old favorite of mine called In the Line of Fire, with Clint Eastwood and John Malkovich.

In the Line of Fire: This is another action film, from 1993, which revolves around Clint Eastwood's character; a secret service agent, and living legend. He's the only active secret service agent who lost a president. He was on protection detail for Kennedy's assassination back in 63, and has been plagued with doubts ever since, wondering if there was something he could have done differently that day to save the president.

In any case, in the "current day" storyline, he works undercover to help bust counterfeiting rings on the east coast. During the course of his duties, he stops by a place in DC to investigate a potential threat to the current President (one of hundreds they have to look into each year) and happens upon a real threat. There's a mystery man (John Malkovich) who, for reasons of his own, is planning to kill the President, and being obsessed with previous assassinations, is well familiar with Eastwood's character, and is pleasantly surprised to discover Eastwood is investigating him. So he invites Eastwood (if you will) into the "game", giving him hints to try to catch him and prevent the assassination, as though he's giving Eastwood a chance to either redeem himself for the Kennedy dropped ball, or have to stand over the grave of another President he failed to protect.

So the cat and mouse game is on, as Eastwood tries to keep his demons in check long enough to identify, track down and prevent Malkovich from killing the Pres.

I've seen this film several times before, and I always enjoy it. It's kind of dated and corny in places, but I don't mind much. Eastwood and Malkovich have really good chemistry together, and the tension builds to a really great climax. This is the only film I can think of where I enjoy John Malkovich. In fact, I think it was a comment made by "Anonymous" about my review of Identity that led to me watching In the Line of Fire again, and I'm glad I did.

Summary: 4/5 a solid, imminently watchable (though dated) action movie with solid acting, some great dialog, and many memorable scenes. If you have a Netflix account, I suggest watching it streamed, since it's on Watch Instantly at the moment.

Trying to make the world right again...

Well, the Big Day approaches! Yes, the LAN party is this Friday. I am alternately excited about it, and panic-stricken over it. Part of me wishes it could be today, the other part wants to cancel it altogether. Isn't that odd? I guess I'm just nervous about making sure everything gets set up right so everyone can play, and that there's enough food and gaming to make everyone happy, and ensure a good time for all. I have this over-arching need to make sure everyone has a good time. I'm going to be buzzing around the place, I'm sure, making sure everyone has anything they need/want, and generally making a counter-productive nuisance of myself, no doubt.

Ingesting caffeine is probably not helping. That reminds me, I broke my "no energy drink" resolution finally. I'm getting sick of coffee, and sodas/teas just aren't doing it for me, water is too boring, and I'm not ready to take up drinking alcohol yet... so it's back to Rockstars and Monsters.

On the positive side, I'm still writing nightly, and getting work done, and my faith is intact. So I guess things could be worse.

I guess that's that for now. Logan is on a cruise, Rebecca has a nice post up about Twilight, and Kris had a brush with fame you might find fun to read.

Until next we meet, adios.

Dave

PS New poll question! Vote, eh!

Friday, May 7, 2010

"Anybody Can Direct, but There Are Only Eleven Good Writers." - Mel Brooks



Three whole days without an update. How did you survive? Did you survive? I know I didn't... I'm writing this from the afterlife...

Things are pretty much the same on this side. Same house, same problems with wifey, same annoying personal habits and idiosyncrasies, same slightly unpleasant odors...

Wait a minute...

Guess I'm still alive after all!

Threw my back out on Wednesday. It's still sore/sensitive after two visits to the chiropractor, extensive use of a heating pad and a few ibuprofens. What did I do to throw it out, you ask? Lifting a car off of a burning bag of beef jerky? A particularly violent game of Tackle Scrabble? Trying to top Logan by falling down 15 stairs?

No. I was just walking across the room. That's it, just walking. BANG! Felt like I'd been stabbed in the lower back. Almost went down. I literally was doing nothing but walking. Weird, eh?


That's from a webcomic I stumbled upon recently, called Left Handed Toons by Right Handed People. As is obvious by the name of the strip, that explains why the art is so poor. But I spent a while clicking the "random" button over there, and had many good laughs. For some reason, I enjoyed this strip, so I posted it here, eh! Cuz I share like that! So go check them out, eh!

Working out more logistics for the upcoming LAN party at my house, on the 15th. So far, looks like about 14 people will be there. It could swell to about 20 at various points. I'm reading more articles online with tips to put on a successful LAN party. The number one concern seems to be power. Finding out where the separate power channels are and dividing people up so we don't have too many systems plugged into one channel. Otherwise we'll be losing power and having to flip switches in the fuse box outside, and rotating people around. I'll try to find out which outlets and which rooms are on which channels, and get some extra power strips, etc. Hopefully, we'll get everyone set up. I believe at least a third of the systems will be laptops, which don't use as much power as big ol' beastly gaming rigs (like mine!), so we'll probably be ok.

Should be fun, I hope. I'm also trying to solidify the games list, and get some prizes and give-aways and things, as well as arrange for enough food/drink.

I should get some of these to give away as a prize. Handerpants! How funny is that?

I was actually thinking about giving away a decent gaming mouse, and maybe a pretty nice headset or something. We'll see. I also bought 6 copies of Battlefield 2 to distribute amongst those willing to give one of my favorite all-time games a try. Ordered them on the 6th, the party is the 15th. Plenty of time, right? Got an email from Amazon saying estimated arrival date of package: May 15 to May 19th. O_O Dangit, if the games don't arrive before the party, I am going to be 8 shades of livid. I paid $10 for the 3-5 day shipping, to make sure I'd have them well ahead of time.

Ah, well. I suppose there's worse problems to have... I mean, at least my back isn't out.

Wait a minute!


I've found a terrific female fantasy writer, at last! KJ Parker is terrific. Making headway though The Folding Knife. The story is good, but it's the writing style that impresses me. Stay tuned for review, eh!

Well, it's the weekend. Hopefully something fun & interesting will happen. Then I can write about it and assuage your boredom for a few moments on Monday. My brother John's birthday is the 8th. I'm sure he'll be golfing... but maybe something else will happen!

Until then, adios!

Dave

PS Don't miss your chance to vote in my first-ever blog poll! Check the right-side margin for the first intriguing poll question, and cast your vote today!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

"Decide That You Want It More Than You Are Afraid of It." - Bill Cosby


Tumbling, tumbling.

OK, so you know how a yoked animal every now and then pulls and bucks a little bit, trying to break free of the yoke, finding out quickly that the yoke ain't going anywhere, and that it's at the mercy of the one who yoked it? So it gets fidgety for a minute, then settles back down and starts to pull the wagon again?

Yeah, that.

Take a step toward diving into a rant best left avoided! Then pull back, take a deep breath, look around, find something inane to post, to change the subject...


Today is Star Wars Day! Even though the original movie was released May 25th, 1977, it was decided to have Star Wars Day celebrated on the 4th, so they could use the pun "May the fourth be with you." See, today is May the Fourth, see...

Yeah, nerds are cool like that. Nerds like me. Nerds that appreciate the utter coolness of a picture of Darth Vader behind the wheel of a roadster...

So I found out something cool today (speaking of nerdiness). I was at the mall near my house today, in the food court, and all over the Nathan's hot dog vendor are posters advertising the official Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship that is going to held at my mall on June 26th! All the big names (and big mouths) will be there, including Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi!

Yes, I will be there in the audience, watching it all unfold, video camera in hand. You can expect a full report on my blog that night, most definitely. I know you're all as stoked as I am about it! Getting to watch these world class competitors in action in the flesh would be like watching Brando live in a performance of Streetcar! Or Elvis with just an acoustic guitar in a coffeehouse somewhere!

(No, I'm not serious, sheesh! I'm making fun of myself!)

And now, two soccer players get a bicycle kick goal at the same time!



I wonder who they credited with the goal. Or rather, with the goooooooooooaaaaaaaaalllll!!!!

So I started The Folding Knife by KJ Parker last night. It's very compelling thus far, though there are two things that irk me. It's written in the present tense, with extensive flashbacks written in past tense, so it's a bit awkward. The second irksome thing is that it's written in omniscient tense, so it switches POV's constantly, instead of picking one POV and writing from that angle. So it bounces around between characters, making observations and thoughts between characters. I guess it just takes getting used to. The tale itself it gripping from the get-go, but the style is not my favorite.

And now, a shirt my brother John would no doubt have owned as a child...


I should Photoshop John's face onto that pic for him... Whoever thought of that design should win a prize of some kind. That's even better than the zombie-face shirt I posted a few months back.

Although the zombie shirt is pretty cool, too...

The LAN party approaches! I've been reading articles online about how to best prepare for LAN parties, etc. I found out today that Vye has to be out of town on a business trip, and won't be able to attend the LAN! Nooo! We are Team Vye! What will we do without him!? He's our tech guru who keeps everything running! Hmm... I guess I'll just have to man-up and learn how to do it, eh!? I'll have to go it alone, no matter how dangerous! Better bring a shark...


I'm sorry... I just don't care about LOST. I used to, but I just don't anymore. I don't care how it ends, who dies, who survives, what the numbers mean, what Dharma was/is, why there are alternative histories and present days, what the smoke monster is, who's really a ghost, etc. I... don't... care....

Thanks to all who chipped in input on the "you're beautiful" conundrum. Any further insights you want to chip in, I'm all ears, especially the female point of view...

OK, I'm out. I'm going to go try and snack my angst away, then stay up all night with acid reflux. Yeah, I know... I'm lame like that.

(Dave shrugs at his yoke)

Adios

Sunday, May 2, 2010

"Language is a Tool for Concealing Truth." - George Carlin



Yeah, yeah, I know... you missed me. I get it, alright! I'm awesome and witty and amusing and dashing and gassy! A perfect mix, when it comes to churning out haphazard blog mediocrity... which you are hopelessly addicted to. You've re-read the last couple posts numerous times, all the while sighing wistfully, wishing I would update.

Well, your wish has come true!

You may change your wish after seeing that I'm going to lead with a parenthesis butt...

(__|__)  <------

Yep, that's the intellectual high point for this post. It's all downhill from here... sorry...

OK, well, now that you are depressed, I will depress you further... I saw a video tonight that is the saddest video I've seen in ages. I'm just going to link to it instead of embed it, since it is too, too sad... you may think I'm kidding, but I'm not. It is sad. Click at your own risk. It is a video of a cat trying to revive his companion cat that got run over by a car and died. Hey, that's not funny! It's sad! I never said I was trying to be funny!

CLICK HERE to go to YouTube and be bummed out...

OK, in the interest of balance, here's a funny picture...

Carth Vader... come on, that's pretty funny, right? 

Did it cheer you back up yet? No? OK, well, here's another...

It's a Reuben's Cube! 

Get it?! See, it's funny, because it's like the Reuben sandwich, but it's also, like, shaped like a Rubic's Cube, see? Clever, right?

O_o

No?

OK, well, I suppose I'm reduced to fart humor then... here's a recent White Ninja comic...


There... if gratuitous fart humor doesn't cheer you back up, nothing will!

Man, a guy links to a sad cat video and you'd think it was the end of the world! Get over it! Things die, that's just the way the world is! I didn't write the rules, I just break them like everyone else! Sheesh!

Hey, I thought of something last night, and I chewed on it today, so I thought I'd dump it here and see if you all come up with the same conclusion I did...

You're Beautiful!

So, back when I went to that bizarre Men's Retreat a couple months back, the speaker said something that was interesting... he said all women need to be told that they are beautiful. It isn't just that it would be nice... he said that literally, it is a need that all women have... to be told that they are beautiful.

First off, is that true? If you're a lady, is it just nice to hear once in a while, or is it literally something you NEED to hear?

If it is a NEED, it seems to me that there would be a VERY limited number of people that could possibly meet that need without it being awkward/creepy/profoundly ineffective. Ladies, if a random man came up to you and told you that he thought you were beautiful, wouldn't you immediately question his motives? Would it in every case creep you out, or would it depend on if the man was (what you considered) handsome or not? Is there any occasion you can think of where a random guy could tell you that you were beautiful that you would receive it positively, or would it always be Red Flag City?

What about guys that you know? Think of everyone that you know that is a male. If he's a family member, wouldn't you immediately think "well, he's supposed to say that, he's my dad/brother/husband." Or if it's your boyfriend, wouldn't you think the same thing? What if he was a male friend that you had no sort of relationship with or feelings toward whatsoever? Let's say you're single, and a married male friend of your tells you that you're beautiful... wouldn't that creep you out? Would you interpret it as him hitting on you? Or a single male friend tells you that you're beautiful... could you ever simply receive it at face value without automatically assuming that he was flattering you in order to get something from you? Angling for a date, perhaps?

I assume another female telling you that you're beautiful wouldn't have much effect, would it? I don't mean anything romantic, I mean like your girlfriend going, "Oh, Susie, you look so beautiful tonight!" Does that meet that NEED, or does that not count?

I guess my question is, if it really is a NEED in all women to be beautiful (and told so), in what context could another person tell you so, that would effectively meet that need and be positive, healthy, effective, and not suspect/creepy/weird? Do you take flattery well? I guess that's another way to put it. As a married dude, I don't think it's my position to tell any woman other than my wife and daughters that they are beautiful, right? Wifey never believes me when I tell her, and the kids think I have to say it because I'm dad. But I do still have working eyes! I can tell if someone is handsome/beautiful or not! Yet I can't really imagine telling any of you I thought you were beautiful without it being awkward.

So if it is a NEED in EVERY woman, it strikes me that the parameters for getting that need met in a positive, healthy way are ridiculously narrow. Can't you only get that need met effectively by another single, attractive man, who fits the profile that you personally find attractive, while every other person that told you that you were beautiful would be "weird" to hear? Or am I missing something here?



OK, so I finished the Warrior's collection of short stories. I may write a review (of sorts) soon, just to highlight a couple of the tales I thought were worthy of the spotlight. I read many very good ones... but I can't help it. There's something about the way George RR Martin writes that puts him in a class by himself. I don't know what it is, really. He's so easy to read, and the page just opens up. And I noticed with the story he had in there, that he threw out tons of character names and references to historical events and places, which usually drives me insane... but in his case, it didn't bother me at all. Maybe it's because he's so good at name creation, and in making his references so casual and natural that they just feel right.

Meh, I'll write more soon...

I also bought a Web Book! So I'll be doing some writing tonight, w00t!

Nothing else to say. Going to go work on the Piranha newsletters, write a bit, read a bit, and go the heck to bed!

Adios

Dave the Goof