Man, Where Does the Thyme Go?

Geez Louise, the days are flying by... It's already the beginning of August.

OK, well, the LAN party was a raging success. Zombies were slain by the thousands, and thus the world is now a safer place. You're welcome, everyone! Man, about the only things better to destroy than zombies are Nazis... I may have to bust out some WW2 shooters for the next LAN. I was concerned that we wouldn't have enough variation in games to play, and that everyone would get bored with Left 4 Dead 2... but that's what we spent the majority of time playing - from 10am to about 8pm. We mixed in a little Team Fortress 2 about half-way through the day, but basically, I needn't have worried.

Ethan took some pictures for me. Click to enlarge, if you need more detail...

That's about 60% of us there. Paul (my new son-in-law) is just over my head in the background, with his brothers on either side. That's the top of Trevor's head over my monitor. And a hoagie in hand. That's not my soda, though...

There's a shot from the other side of the table... I include it so you can see two things: Spencer playing Call of Duty on the TV in the background, and my wife's Shoe Calendar on the wall above my head...

Yanni (without shirt on, as usual), showing us how it's done in Team Fortress 2. He's going to shave his beard on his birthday this week... his hair is staying, though. 

Random shot of me contemplating playing a sniper in TF2.

One of Paul's brothers (sorry, Josh and Joel... I still can't tell you apart). OK, so if Paul is my son-in-law, what does that make his brothers? Is there a term for that, or does it just fall under "in laws"?

Dimitri contemplating something or other. He's going to try out for the Navy SEALS. He seems determined; I hope he makes it.

So that's that. I'd call the party a success. Zombies were slain, sandwiches and chips were consumed, there was laughing, mild insults and camaraderie, and in the end, the good guys won.

Beyond that, I am enjoying my solo time at home. I've been spending a lot of time on the phone with Wifey while she's away. I'd hate to think that we need to be two states away to get along well. At least we're getting some things talked through. And I'm still reading Youngest her books before bed - we're just doing it over the phone. I did install Skype last night, so maybe we can video chat tonight, who knows.

Here is a movie I will most definitely be seeing when it comes out... Cloud Atlas...



Simply amazing.

I was going to go see the new Batman movie tonight, but then I saw the run time... 2 hours and 44 minutes!?!?! Are you kidding me? Man, I had no idea it was almost 3 hours long.

Here's another movie coming out soon (called Samsara) which I might try to see on the big screen...



While I'm talking about movies, I heard yesterday that they announced that The Hobbit movies have been expanded into a trilogy. Smacks of a money grab to me, but that's just the uninformed cynic in me. I mean, the book was shorter than the first book in The Lord of the Ring novels... that epic trilogy warrants three movies, for certain... but a book the size of The Hobbit? I can't imagine why that needs 3 films, unless they just want to milk the cash cow.

I guess it doesn't matter, in the grand scheme. There's more important things to worry about, I suppose. (important or impotent, which one?).

"Here, I brought you a bubble..."

Got my "emergency" Piranha job done, technical difficulties notwithstanding. Now I can plan my week, as far as exploring around the city a bit. Saw some interesting places I may want to eat at. Thanks for the prompting, B.A...

I guess I better go now. Let's see if I can make it over to Starbucks before they close. Then, who knows what the night will hold!

Adios for now,

Davey the Kidd

Furious, Curious and Spurious, All at the Same Time!

Ah, those lazy Dave's of Summer... what's a man to do but weep?

Why am I weeping, you may wonder? Well, because no one commented on my last blog post, that's why! And there's nothing sadder than an unloved blog post. Especially a post by someone as thoroughly awesome as I am. Look, I'll forgive you this one time, since I know you're probably either at work all day and too tired at night, or you're in the Caribbean, lounging on some remote, golden beach somewhere with spotty internet reception, working on your tan. OK, I get that. Just, take a moment and go find something on the previous post that's worth commenting on, then drop that comment in there like a boss.... go on, I'll wait....

While I was waiting, I went back and re-read the previous post.... man, what a boring, lifeless string of nonsense THAT post was! No wonder it was scorned and shunned! I am stained by association, and now stand ashamed under the waterfall of your derision. I solemnly promise to try better next time.... meaning this time...

OK, well, where to begin?

A Bill Murray anecdote is always a great place to start. I mean, who doesn't love all things Bill Murray? Yeah, he's goofy looking, and sings poorly, who cares! He's a legend! Can't you easily imagine him doing such a thing to someone at Wendy's? I know, right?

OK, well, I think that counts for a step in the right direction, as far as redeeming myself in your eyes. Let's see, what else do I have..?

Here, watch how casual this cat is with a snake harassing it...



Exactly the opposite of the way I would imagine a cat would react.

What?! O, come on! That video was cool, right? No?! You docked me for posting it? Back to square one?

Sheesh, you're killin me over here....

OK, fine, let's see...

There. That's a pretty creative hairdo, right? I kinda wish I had the nerve to do that to my hair. Do you think that's photoshopped? Or a hairpiece? Or legit? I'd like to think it's legit. Although I doubt he'd get many dates with a cut like that...

Hang on, I found another one...

Hmm.... same dude, I think. That must mean it's fake somehow. Ah, well, still pretty cool, I think.

OK, so did those pics bump me back in the right direction? Have I redeemed myself yet?

No?

OK, well, here's a video of men throwing rocks with their "other" hand, set to a woman singing softly in French... that should be worth a few points...



What say you?

Man, you're so finicky. I'm starting to think there's no pleasing you. What do I have to do, buy you six pairs of shoes or something?

What's your shoe size, by the way...?

OK, how about a quick run-down of where I'm at personally? Eating poorly. Working out sporadically due to bad neck. Enjoying home alone. Sweated like a pig delivering rugs today at work. Surprise project from Piranha to due in the next 36 hours. Playing 'Words With Friends' now for first time (hit me up on Facebook and we'll play!). LAN party this Saturday. Not reading anything good. August will be eventful. Co-worker bought a brand new 2013 Mustang GT (420+ HP) but is afraid to drive it because first gear is so sensitive, he stalls it a lot. Gonna see Dark Knight this Sunday I think. I'm out of cooking spray. I found what was making the kitchen stink. A good friend just had a baby the other day. I'm avoiding the surprise Piranha project by blogging right now.

There. Enough info? OK, one more pic...

Yes, I know... I have a thing for cats, you should know that about me by now.

I'm done. See you (probably) on Sunday...

Dave the Wagner

Learning To Walk Again, Learning To Talk Again

Love this guys' photos. His name is Bob Chatham, and lives in Florida. Apparently, he most enjoys taking pictures of sunsets and tweaking the color/contrast until the results are wonderfulness. Here's his Photosig gallery, if you'd like a good browse. If not, I have a couple more saved to HD and will post them eventually...

The weekend is ending weakly. Not much to complain about, really, which will mean this will be a short post! Because what is this blog, if not my incessant whining mixed with audio/visual absurdity?! Am I right? Eh? EH?

I've had the place myself a few days, and it has been peaceful and mellow. The Wagner Women return tonight (Sunday) for a few days, then they're off again, and I'll get the place to myself again. Everything's stayed clean, the kitchen still looks great, I vacuumed, made the bed, etc. It's eerie, not to have the place look like a tornado went through it every third day.

So it's official, next Saturday we'll be LANning it up here. I have a week to prepare. I think there will be a dozen of us here, saving the world from the Zombie Hoards and eating sandwiches. Can't wait, it should be a blast. Depending on how it goes, I may do it again the following Saturday. We shall see.

Beyond that, I'm turning 42 in a couple weeks, so I've got that to look forward to. Whenever I think of it, I get that old Devo song "Turning Japanese" stuck in my head, only I change it to "Turning Forty-Two," since it fits the song... yeah, I know... weird.... no idea why my brain chugs along the way it does.

Terrific sermon today at church. Pastor was in rare form. Not bad for an 86 year old. Check back here for the link to the audio sermon, once it goes live. I'll edit it in here. Since I know you have nothing to do but listen to sermons on the internet all day, right? Right?

So the Steam Summer Sale ends today. I can't believe how hooked I am by Steam. It's depressing, really. All I want to do is keep checking in with Steam to see what's on sale at the moment. It's like coffee, only worse. I keep telling myself I won't check today, but I always do. It's a strange addiction, and I don't particularly understand it. And it's not like I'm buying tons of stuff -- I've actually bought comparatively little...  still, I feel an overwhelming compulsion to keep checking, just to see what they're dumping for 75% or more off... like I'll miss the deal of the century if I don't look at the right time or something.

At least I now know I'm not alone... I keep seeing memes online now about the Steam Sales, and other guys with the same problem - buying games they know they'll likely never play, just because the deal is sooooo good... come on... an A-List game for $5? It was $50+ less than a year ago? Who can pass that up? Anyway, I've also seen it compared to certain women who buy shoes they know they'll likely never wear, because the deal is so good. So maybe it's a human nature thing...



Still, it's a bit unnerving to know how little self-control I have in that area. And actually, it spills over into other areas of my life/personality as well. I was praying about it this morning at the altar, in fact! My life seems to revolve (literally) around various forms of entertainment. I don't know if it's just the way I'm wired (and/or the way God made me), or if it's a predicament I've evolved into, through a series of selfish/bad choices. At this point, I think it goes way beyond the possibility of just deciding to be different. I've either got to accept it about me, or take drastic measures.

So I've pretty much decided we'll be moving into a smaller place, hopefully by September first. Yay! Moving! Yay! I'll use it as an excuse to get rid of half the nonsense in our house, I'm sure. Although it's easy to say that when all of the nonsense belongs to everyone else. I kid you not, if I removed everything in this house that was mine only, you'd never know anything was missing after the fact. How we accumulated so much junk is beyond me. My clutter is all digital...

Looks like I've got a cat theme going again tonight...

Not reading much at the moment. The Four-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss, that's about it. Been playing a lot of Diablo 3, Battlefield 2 and Left 4 Dead 2 lately. No TV. Very little music (although I did find this clip, with Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters singing Walk and The Pretenders acoustically). Found a channel on YouTube with a buff Asian dude who has fitness clips that I like. I've been doing some of his push-up routines and have improved noticeably. I'll have my first workout since April with Markshane (my PT) tomorrow. So I've got that to look forward to.

So that's it. I've scraped the bottom of the barrel for content tonight. Wish it was more interesting. Man, no wonder it's a ghost town around here! If I wasn't me, I'd find other places to lurk as well...

Hope your week is a good one.

Dave the Dave

A Little Bit Crazy is OK By Me...

What an amazing photo...

Hello to those taking a moment out of your busy Summer schedules to pop in and see what's up. If I told you "not much," would you be too disappointed?

Sorry. Eldest Daughter and her new hubby are settled into their new place, and Wifey and the Remaining Wagnerettes are house sitting for a few days, so I get the big, quiet place to myself for a few days. Then they're off again to NM, so I get the big, quiet place even longer. So it's peaceful and very pleasant at the moment. I'm half tempted to turn the TV to Real Housewives of Podunk in the other room, with the volume too loud, just so I can close the office door and feel normal...

So, what to do with my time now, eh?

I could cut a million match-heads off and make a massive matchbomb...



But that's more Yanni's bag than mine.

I could work on my beard...

I dunno.... I prefer facial hair and all... but I'm not overly attached to it like some are... even though it is, like, attached to my face and everything... beards are more Pat Rothfuss' bag than mine anyway....

I could work on my guitar playing, I suppose...



I'll never be as good as Noah, and he's still a teenager. Dang, that guy can sing (and play). He and Logan should form a duo... they'd own the world in no time... by the way, Blackbird is one of my Sweet Mother's favorite songs (Hi Mom!)...

I could play engineer with Legos, I guess...

I cannot even begin to imagine the size of the instruction manual in THAT Lego kit... but that's more my brother John's bag than mine. He used to LOVE Legos, and he's also joining the Navy... although I believe that's a model of a Japanese battleship circa WW2... still...

I could work out! Throw some weights around like a meathead, I suppose... I have been doing pushups like a madman lately... and I have some 20lb weights laying here, mocking me... but I've found that when I push myself and tense up, it makes my neck hurt, which triggers a headache... I know, "no pain, no gain"... but that's not a good kind of pain. I should see my chiropractor and get it checked....

Still, that's more my friend Orion's bag than mine....

But I saw a recent picture of The Rock, who is bulking up for a movie role he's about to play, and my jaw hit the floor...

He's always been in great shape, but, man, that is amazing. I wonder if that's just hard work and the right supplements, or if he's getting a little anabolic help (if you smell what I'm cooking). Either way, it's inspiring. He just turned 40 this past May, so we're close in age. I wouldn't want to get that big, but I'd like to improve somewhat. Or at least get rid of my pudge again...

I'll probably end up doing what I normally do. Play a little, write a little, work a little, float around the web a little, work out a little, read a little, sleep a little, rinse, repeat, etc.

Hey, what do you guys think of this Michael Landon quote...

"Somebody ought to tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit every minute of every day."

On the one hand, I find it inspiring (probably because of the whole midlife thing I've been wrestling with for a couple years now). But on the other hand, do you think it squares with the Scripture at all? Or could it be modified and applied in a Scriptural way? Do you agree with that outlook or disagree?

I think once the Wagner Women return from their world tour, we're going to look for a different, smaller house or condo to move into. I can't justify the rent anymore, especially since Eldest has moved out. We'll stay local (in San Diego, I mean), I'm sure... but it would sure be nice to shave my rent down substantially each month. We'll see...

OK, one more blast of goofiness and then I'm done... here's a funny comic for you...

Yes, it's absurd... but being absurd is definitely my bag...

Adios for now.

Dave the Bagman

Full Steam Ahead

Wow. For some reason, I find that glacier photo incredible. Probably the way the sun and shadows are playing across the snow, adding a bit of punch to the grays and browns...

Hello, all. Miss me? Man, what a week. It's been a bit of an Armageddon in the Wagner Household. It would be poor form to elaborate, so I'll just say that Drama has reigned supreme, much to my utter disgust, frustration and anger. I spent a lot of time initially trying to make peace, then trying to prevent people from destroying each other, and now it's the "pick up the pieces and see what can be salvaged" stage. I despise it with every shred of my being.

Ah, well, I suppose people love their drama. I know I do, but it's always the kind that plays out on a movie screen or stage, not in my own home.

OK, enough of that. Just watch out if you plan on coming over any time soon...

"May I help you?"

So the big news is, of course, the Steam Summer Sale began this week! YYAAAYYY!!!! More games I won't play to add to my collection! Actually, it's in Day 4 of the sale as I write this, with the amazing deals flying fast and furious, but I've been surprisingly self-controlled. I've bought only 3 indy games, representing an investment of about $10 total. Not bad, when you consider a lot of the big titles on my Wish List have been on sale for up to 75% off, and I haven't bought any of them...

I found the page on my Steam Profile where I can see my Purchase History. I took a deep breath, got out the calculator, and decided to run the numbers. No one will find this interesting but me, but I'm going to relay the info anyway, cuz I makes up the rules around here! I started my Steam account on Sept 1, 2008, so it's been almost 4 years. In that time, I've accumulated 119 games, and spent a grand total of $722.20. If my math is accurate, that breaks down to an average of $6.07 per game, and also $15.37 per month, for 47 months. I suppose if I compared that to a person going to the movie theater once a month, that's probably close to a wash. Except some of those titles I've played for (an embarrassing amount of hours) over the years, which has to be a far higher value per dollar than theater going. I may go to the theater three times a year or so...

Anyway, what can I say? Wifey has her shoes, I have my games. (And books O_O)

So once the Wagner Women head off on their annual Albuquerque trip, I'll have the house to myself for a couple weeks (in the transition from July to August). So that means it's LAN party time! Woohoo! Also, it means I can walk around the house with my boxer shorts on my head and it won't matter! Woohoo! Unless I  do it during the LAN party.... which would be uncool...

And hopefully I'll be working out and writing a lot more as well. I had to stop working with Markshane (my personal trainer) back in April, because I got hammered in my taxes and had to radically reprioritize my money... I'm torn... I'm certainly thankful for working with Mark, but if I'd sent that $$$ off to the feds as my estimated taxes instead of giving it to Mark, I wouldn't have been in the mess I was. Well, it's settled down somewhat in that realm, so I'm going to start working with Mark again once a week, starting this week, actually. I'm trying to do more on my own... two nights ago, I did 250 push-ups of various kinds between the time I got home and bed time... well, it's better than nothing...

I don't know. Sometimes I want to just sit down with a calendar and plan out the way I would spend my week if I could... you know, get up at this time, do this for x amount of time, go to work from here to here, then get home and spend an hour doing this or that, etc. Plan the day out, specifically, and see if I could stick to it for a week. Maybe some of it would stick. Right now, about the only thing I can count on is my Sunday afternoon nap from 3 to 4:30...

I'm getting old and boring... man, this blog used to be fun to read! Now look at this mess! Household drama, Steam sales, gaming stats, workout nonsense, naps... BOOOORRIIINNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!



What can I say. Those are the times.

I did finish reading Chosen, by Jolea Harrison, and it was definitely worth the read. But too many days have passed since I finished reading, and too much nonsense has transpired for me to recall enough to write a proper review of it. So I'll just have to summarize by saying it was a fun story, a unique blend of Fantasy and Sci-fi and well worth the zero dollars it cost to buy it. Turns out it is part of a series... but it works well as a stand-alone (in my opinion), so don't let that put you off.

OK, well, I think I've bored you enough for now. Hopefully I'll find/think up some interesting things to post next time.

Thanks for dropping by,

Dave the Addled

Sometimes Artworks and Sometimes It Doesn't...

Photo by Jan Machata

*Sigh*

Ah, if it weren't poor form in the extreme to air my family's laundry in public (so to speak), the tales I could unfold... or rather, my "side" of the tales I could unfold... my house... has come... unglued...

*sigh*

Well, only one thing to do! Yep... Art Night!

First is a Portuguese artist named Alexandre F. who goes by the street moniker Vhils... he does a type of street art I haven't seen before. He goes to brick walls that have been either painted over or covered in... what? Like a plaster coating of some kind? Anyway, he chips away at the paint/plaster to reveal the brick beneath, in ways that look like portraits, etc.

Well, here, take a look... click to see better!

Here's a close-up....

How cool is that? Here's the link to his website, with more galleries, if this piques your interest...

Next, we have a series of shots similar to the optical illusion 3D sidewalk chalk art I post pics of now and then... only the artist has drawn onto facing pages of spiral sketchbooks, such that when they're propped open at the right angle, it looks... well... awesome...

Please click to enlarge, so you can see the detail better. Haven't been able to track down the artist yet... if I do, I'll edit it in here.

Next is a cool piece of graffiti art by a NY street artist (of some renown) named "Cope"...

Hmm... I was trolling images looking for more work by this guy, since that portrait of Bruce Lee is amazing... and I find hundreds of photos of Cope's artwork... and all of it is just of his name sprayed on various walls, all cool and cartoony like that... which makes me wonder if he even did the portrait part, or if it is a collaboration of some kind...

Ah, well, in any case, it's awesome, I think...

Here's another cool bit of Graffiti before I move on...

So there's this whole subculture of art that revolves around carving books into sculptures of different kinds. It's a surprisingly diverse artform, and some of the results are spectacular...

These two are from Guy Laramee...

Click to see them a bit bigger, or go to his website for more...

And this next artist is a bit more abstract in his approach. His name is Brian Dettmer...

His website is fun to browse through, if this floats yer boat...

I better bring this to a close... I could post sand sculptures, ice sculptures, sidewalk art, bonsai trees, glassworks, cool steampunk stuff, and I'd be going all night...

I'll just post a way-cool comic strip drawn by a five-year-old and be done with it...

I think that's fitting to end on...

*sigh*

OK, back into the maelstrom...

Dave the Puzzled

A Random Selection of Choice Nonsense

Hmmm.... update my blog, or play Diablo 3?

The blog wins! Yay!!!

Quite a bit happening this past couple days. Will any of it be even remotely interesting? We shall see! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

First, I saw the new Amazing Spiderman movie on Friday night, with my friend Carey and his brother Kelly (whom I haven't seen in, like, forever). Carey slept through most of it, which is what I should have done as well. I'm not saying it wasn't worth watching... it's worth watching one time, in 3D if you can. But the pacing is slow, it's full of campy dialog and acting, the casting is missed across the board, and it is predictable, as well as full (and I mean FULL) of moments where you go, "wait... what?"

Martin Sheen and Sally Field are cast as Uncle Ben and Aunt May... sounds good on paper, right? I've heard of actors trying to upstage and one-up each other...what would the opposite of that be called? One-down? Each scene they were in, it's like they were battling to see who could be more awkward. I don't blame them - I don't think either of them were right for the roles. And then there's the new Peter Parker, also reeking of "square peg, round hole". And the platinum blonde love interest. The whole cast was awkward.

But there were good things about it. Some cool visuals, some cool concepts. At one point, Spidey is crawling around on the big lizard villain, wrapping it up in web like a real spider would, instead of just shooting the webbing at it like in the other movies. Like, up and over the shoulder, down his back, under the legs, around the tail, real fast, wrapping him up in web... it was pretty cool. But really, those moments were outnumbered 50-to-1 by scenes that were just overdone, including (especially?) the retarded climax. I'd blame the director, but his name is Marc Webb - I kid you not. I mean, who else could they have got to direct that film? Nobody.

Bottom line, it brings nothing new to the table, as far as the franchise, and thus is a completely pointless movie. It didn't need to be made. I'd give it a 6 out of 10. The movie's tagline is "The Untold Story". It should have remained untold...

Next, our business websites were hacked and infected with virussy nastiness! Our main business site, my sister's rug blog and her new site she put up for her new business venture. What a mess. There's a solution, but it isn't cheap... but hopefully, we'll be back up and running again soon, and with stronger security measures in place. It's an odd feeling... like being violated or robbed or something... anyway, all three sites were built using the WordPress platform, which apparently is open-source, so vulnerabilities are hiding in there, for those that know where to look. 


So, what happens when you wrap 500 rubber bands around a watermelon?





Melon shrapnel everywhere!!!1!

Next, my Oldest Daughter and her new husband had a reception-type party at the church today, so her friends, co-workers and various relatives could come and wish them well on their future together. We fed everyone lasagna, pizza and salad, played some oldies, and basically made it comfortable for everyone to visit for a couple hours... until the bat showed up! Yes, our church has been battling a bat infestation for the past couple months... they keep finding ways into the attic, and then into the sanctuary. One made an appearance, flying around the sanctuary and freaking people out... but Tony D. and Lisa J. teamed up to corral it out the back door (mostly using a broom and luck), and the festivities continued. There had been an exterminator out earlier in the day today, and killed/captured about 20 or so of the little buggers. He's coming again tomorrow, to get any stragglers, so they don't show up during the church service! As we cleaned the church up after the party, three more made an appearance... bats... *shudder*

Lastly, I'm reading a book called "Chosen" by an author named Jolea Harrison... it's another author whose career has been given a boost by the digital publishing boom... it's an interesting mix of Fantasy and Sci-Fi that I haven't run across before. I know I haven't read everything out there, but I have read quite a bit over the past few years.  Haven't seen anything quite like it. The story is good, and is well-written to boot. It has its share of tropes, but they're handled well -- nothing wince-inducing (yet). I'm about 60% through it at the moment - look for a review from me soon. Here is the author's site, and here is the related GoodReads page. And actually, it's free at Amazon at the moment...

One more video and I'm out. This has been making the rounds the past two days. If you've seen it already, I'm sorry for being a band-wagoner. If you haven't seen it, it's very cool. This guy filmed himself talking to his "future self" back when he was a kid (20 years earlier), and now has recorded himself answering/interacting with himself, editing them together to make a conversation out of it. It's very cool. (One quick little s-bomb at the 0:40 mark)



That's quite creative. Me likey.

OK, that's enough nonsense for now. I hope your weekend is going well (or went well, depending on when you read this).

Adios for now,

Dave the Cretin

The "Feel Good" Post of the Season!

Tonight's post is brought to you by the phrase "Awwww!"

Yes, I'm playing the "cute" card for this post... I will post content that shamelessly plucks your heartstrings! Prepare for blatant emotional manipulation!

Hey, at least I'm warning you ahead of time!

First, a candid snapshot of a US Soldier reading a kids' book to his child via a webcam in an airport somewhere...

Come on... how awesome is that? If that isn't the coolest picture you've seen all week, I'll eat my mouse. Simultaneously heart-warming and heart-breaking. It rates a full 10 on the Awww Scale.

Next, we combine a cute kid, a cute cat and a swing...

Admit it... when you saw it, you said "awww", right? Come on, admit it... How heartless of me to so shamelessly maneuver you like that! It borders on the criminal! Rates a 9 on the Aww Scale, I think...

OK, next, a video....

Of course, there are very few things cuter than Maru jumping into and out of a box. You know this, I know this... we all know this...



As much as I love Maru, I'd say that video rates about a 7.5 on the Awww Scale...

Next, the written prayers of young kids! I'll post two batches for you, since one isn't enough...

I have two more pages... I'll save them for another post, otherwise you might be overwhelmed by the sheer Awww of it all. How cool are those prayers? Kids are awesome.

I'd rate those a full 10 on the Awww Scale.

OK, before your hearts are full to capacity, I have one more quick video to make the experience complete...

Cue the iguana!



Come on, you had to know this whole post was a set-up for the iguana fart clip... you know me better than that by now...

I'd give that clip a 1.75 on the Awww Scale...

Well, I suppose you all hate me now... first, for the excessive Awww-ness... then for pulling the rug out... ah, well, we do what we do because we must....

Adios for now...

Dave the Predictable

Mixing Up a Well-Worn Path

OK, we've covered how to make all of the more common mixed drinks and cocktails, so now we transition into a few of the more obscure ones. This one is called a "Well-Worn Path". So, on that rare occasion when one of Dave's fans comes into the pub and orders this, here's what you do.

First, start with 20 ounces of Caramel Macchiato (2% milk, espresso, vanilla syrup and caramel). Pour it into the blender, like this. OK, now we need to toss in a barely-interesting personal observation, as a thickening agent... here, this one will work...

"Summertime! And today was Sunday. A summer Sunday! Plus, a nap! It was wonderful, every minute of it. Yes, I've said it before, but it bears repeating, if only to stress the legitimacy of the thought: my Sunday nap is quickly becoming the highlight of my week. I think it mostly stems from my inability to get to bed before 2am every night, then getting up at 8... string a few '5-to-6 hours of sleep' nights in a row and by Sunday, I need an hour or two to recoup. Man, getting a twin bed in my office was a great idea. We got it for Mother-In-Law's visit last December, and kept it in here after she returned home again. Good move. Yes, I realize that there is a never-ending stream of things to fret about, both in my personal life and out there in the scary, real world... but dadgummit, I love my nap time."

OK, I guess that will work. Not the best choice; it's a rather stale take, but for instructional purposes, it will serve. Now, add in two-to-three Funny Pictures. I keep them here, under the bar, near the extra bottles of gin. Go ahead, pick out a couple...

OK, a comic strip will work fine, I suppose. Not the ideal choice, but really, most people who order this drink won't care. It doesn't affect flavor too much, especially if you mix in a strong-enough video clip. But we need another pic. Grab another.

Hmm... I get it... Mr. T = Mr. Tea.... It's clever, sort of... but we might need something with a bit more of a kick...

Man, you like those comic strips, don't you... OK, no, that's fine. It certainly is funny enough, in an absurd way. I can see why Dave stashed that one; it fits his sense of humor perfectly.

OK, go ahead and blend those together with the nap story and the macchiato. Good, good. Now take the lid off and toss in a video clip. For best results, it needs to be amusing, or amazing.



Hmm... well, yeah, I can see the appeal... a mash-up of golf and military shooter video games, not bad. Has some good ideas and dialog.

Out of curiosity, what would your second choice be?



Gahh!  Seriously? Naader consuming 6 pounds of nacho cheese sauce in under 4 minutes? Whoever gets this drink would be able to taste that, for sure. No, definitely, we'll use the golf clip.


OK, at this point you can either mix in ice, give it a final blend and serve, or you can sprinkle other things in. Well, like a random theological observation. I keep those there, in that drawer. Grab one off the top there. What? Oh yeah, I forgot I keep that drawer locked. Here, lemme unlock it. OK, go ahead and grab one.

"I've been wrestling with the idea of worship again. I mean, I understand the idea of being grateful to God for what He's done, for who He is and for what He's made available to us, as far as opportunities, etc., but I still have no idea why He'd want people (either masses of them or individual ones) to literally bow down and worship Him. I can't imagine wanting that kind of adoration. I certainly can't picture myself ever wanting another person to fall at my feet and worship me, going on and on about how awesome I am and how unworthy he/she is... granted, in my head, I know the answer is likely that God actually deserves it, so it's right to go that far with it... but it still doesn't make sense to me that He would not just appreciate but require that type of 'fall on your face before me and tell me how much you love me' type of adoration. Again, I'm not taking a shot at Him, or saying I don't love/appreciate Him... I just don't get the whole 'on your face, bowing and scraping' part."

Hmm. Yeah, that one might not go over too well. It seems to me it would be too easily misunderstood. Like it's a red flag that Dave's backsliding or something. It could ruin the flavor of the whole drink. Let's not put that in. Maybe get a book recommendation or a website to check out or something... yeah, like that Lifehacker article there. Throw that in...

Top Ten Clever Hacks For Things You Thought Were Trash

Good. OK, I think we're ready to blend and serve. There, taste that. What do you think? Yeah, well, some people really like it, for some reason. It's light, has an odd, nutty flavor, gives a quick buzz, and tastes good with beef jerky tacos. Why? Do you think it's missing something? Such as?





That's disgusting. You're fired.