Saturday, October 6, 2012

I Usually Take Steps To Avoid Elevators.

If I could find a really good high-res copy of that picture there, I would have it blown up and put on my office wall. That sure does something for me. And I would use this site to do it. In fact, I may try that site out soon, so I can do something about these white office walls of mine, which are dying for something nice and big to go up on them. I'm an artist, and I've got yards and yards of blank white walls around me! What's wrong with me!!!?!

Hello all. Interesting week. Ups and downs. Shouldn't complain, but I do. I stop myself, though, before I complain too much... that's gotta count for something, right? Except, I have a confession to make to the three of you that regularly read this blog.... it is embarrassing, but I strive for total transparency on this blog... you three deserve nothing less... since August first, I have been holding strictly to my new diet. I mean, like a rock! I saved my indulgences (like Starbucks) for Saturday, which is my Cheat Day. Well, this week, sad to say... I did not wait. Between Thursday and Friday night, I ate a pint of Starbucks Java Chip Frappucino Ice Cream. Ate the whole thing. And it was very, VERY good. I loved every bite.

My next step in my march toward total transparency is to ditch clothing, and instead wrap myself in cellophane every day for work. That should earn me back any respect I lost with that whole Frap Ice Cream debacle...

No need to be so literal!

So I finished writing the Christmas Script. It is, admittedly, unlike anything we've done before. That envelope-pushing may or may not pay off, it's hard to say at this point. Cathy O. has ok'd the script and we're moving forward with contacting people for casting. Is the script any good, you ask? Well, I'm hardly objective, eh? The only feedback I've received thus far has been from my wife (who liked it a lot) and from Cathy (who, I'm sure, is a bit angsty over the rapidly-dwindling time left between now and Christmas and wants to get something moving). Haven't heard a peep from anyone else that I've sent the script off to... my fear is that it sucks and people just don't want to tell me! Gahh! Help! Rampaging insecurity! HELLPP!!!

So, the new Lone Ranger movie trailer looks quite good.

The same producer/director/star from the Pirates of the Caribbean film(s), it gives me hope that it will be good. In fact, what gives me the most hope is that it has the same screenwriters (Rossio/Elliot) that turned out that amazing first Pirates movie. Fingers crossed.

So I'm about 25% through Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind, and I am struggling mightily to maintain interest and momentum. It's just so "already been done" that it's hard to press on. I'm hoping for something unique and clever to keep me tagging along, but it has the backwoods hick who is chosen to be the hero, the old mentor who ends up being a famous wizard, the dark lord bent on destroying the world, the beautiful lady with powerful hidden skills, the hellish beasties, the enchanted artifact (a sword) and the big quest to save the world. Well, I guess that's what fantasy fans sign up for in a story, eh? Still, combined with endless monologuing, unnecessary description, tinny dialog and scarce action... I don't know.

And the characters recover from what would be life-threatening injuries so fast, it induces eye-rolls in me. I mean, when a hellish beastie wallops you so hard that you fly through the air and into some trees, you'd think the forces involved would leave you broken into pieces, right? Nope, shake it off and get back in the fight!

I'd better stop before I convince myself to give up on the book. It's a genre classic, I need to give it plenty of opportunity to shine. At the time (1994) the author was paid the most money ever for a first-time fantasy author ($275,000) for this book. I need to know why.

My neck is still bothering me, and it saddens me. Too bad I'm out of ice cream, eh? The chiropractor says there's nothing out of line in my neck. The pain ebbs and flows like the tide. The only thing that seems to work is ibuprofen... but I definitely don't want to get hooked on that. I hear it's not good for your liver. Anyway, my chiropractor says I should go see my doctor and tell him my hands keep going numb, so they'll schedule an MRI, and then he (the chiro) can see what's going on inside my neck. But I don't want to lie. My hands aren't experiencing any numbness. He just wants me to work the system so I get an MRI and not have to pay for it. Ain't gonna happen. I may cheat on my diet, but I don't tell lies!

Well, unless it's on this blog, for entertainment purposes. Hey, but then it falls under "storytelling", right? Not really lying, right? Right? Come on, get my back on this one, please! All liars end up in the lake of fire, according to Revelation! But it says nothing about entertainers!

Here's a fascinating (to me) video on the development of hexaflexagons. Trust me; it's cool.

The same woman has a series of cool videos, including THIS ONE on Fibonacci spirals... trust me, watch it! You'll thank me! Her voice reminds me of my friend Grace.

Cool Blog Stats: So I recently passed 100,000 page views for this blog. Pretty cool, eh? The three of you must check up on this blog hundreds of times per day! Now THAT is dedication. Also, the book review I did for Joe Abercrombie's book The Blade Itself has become the most viewed blog post in the history of this blog. In fact, two of the five most viewed blog posts of mine are book reviews... the other (at #5) is my Game of Thrones review. Glad I could do my part to get the word out about two fabulous authors/books.

OK, well, enough emotional transparency for tonight. If you want to catch me in this state of unprecendented openness, ask me anything in the comments, and I will answer it honestly, for better or worse. Also, if you want to read the script I wrote and bombard me with your frank, unhindered assessment, let me know and I'll email it to you!.

Adios for now,

Dave the Cracked


Sally said...

Fantastic scenery but I'm not sure about wrapping yourself in clingfilm for total transparency!

The Lone Ranger looks fantastic - got to wait until next summer - boo!

Have you tried a memory foam pillow to sleep on to help alleviate the pain in your neck? I've got one and it helps me a lot.

Good luck with your Christmas script. Great flexihexagon stuff!!

David Wagner said...

Sally: Yeah, I suppose the clingfilm was a bad idea... next summer for Lone Ranger!? Guess I should have looked at the release date, eh? Gonna be a long wait. Also, yeah, I have one of those pillows already, and it's definitely nice. Not sure what I'd do without it! And thx for the encouragement on the Christmas thing... we shall see...

Rory L. Aronsky said...

I'm back. Three weeks as a Las Vegas resident make it impossible to write at first, what with exploring everything suddenly available to you, but now I'm getting back into the rhythm of it because I need to keep writing. I can't let it shrivel, wrinkle, and go sour and stale. I'll have plenty to write about in the coming weeks, and after what I've experienced (nothing stereotypically Vegas, since residents can't live like tourists, and most of that stuff doesn't interest me), I'll never run out of anything to write about. This city will never run out of stories to tell.

Anonymous said...


I played a doctor on TV: Does your pain have anything to do with your profession? Kind of carpel tunnel gone wild? Therapy putty (a blob of goop), while you're watching a movie might help the numbness.

Looking forward to watching the Christmas Play! My old college friend is starting a business for publishing ebooks on Amazon. If you want to put your play series together, I'll give you her name. I vote for "Yes."


Anonymous said...

White office walls = cartoon mural space available. Use them! :)

The ice cream sounds fabulous. And it's good for you! Calcium, and...anyway. Your body needed it. Just saying.

I'd love to read the script.

(Am I one of the 3?)

Rug Chick said...

Chiro and massage go hand in hand (or I guess that is neck and neck). Try that.

Love the video. =)

I have your play on my to-do list this week, thanks!


Paula Titus said...

Good to know you aren't going to end up in the Lake of Fire, what a relief! :)

David Wagner said...

Rory: Yay, Rory's back! Can't wait to hear how your first few weeks as a Las Vegan have been...

Beth: I'd love to get more info on the eBook thing, when it's available. I've got a dozen Christmas plays and a bunch of other non-Christmas things... share the wealth, eh? Thanks for looking out for me.

Havah: You are definitely one of the Three. I'll email you the script tonight (if I remember... you know how flighty I am! Doh!)

Lisa: A massage.... not a bad idea!

Paula: In all seriousness, I've pondered that verse about liars and the Lake of Fire at length, many times. Scares me.