Friday, March 30, 2012

"Day n. A Period of 24 Hours, Mostly Misspent." -- Ambrose Bierce


Supposed to be the Dubai skyline, but I don't see the Burj Khalifa!!!

Hey, wait a minute.... ;P

OK, so I was going to wait until April 1st for my next post, for the start of the A to Z Challenge, but I figured, what the heck. I was "in the mood", so here I am. In the mood to write a new post, silly... not "that" in the mood... how can your mind be in the gutter and at the top of the Burj Khalifa at the same time?! Sheesh!

Crazy week... well, crazy end to the week, anyway... Easter rehearsal tonight, trying to do 4 things at once the entire 3+ hours of practice... ran myself ragged; now trying to unwind. More tomorrow and Sunday... won't see a breather until Monday morning, I think... do you pity me? Should I change my last name from Wagner to Whiner yet? They sound similar already... just a little tweak...

OK, I've watched this video about 2 dozen times since Thursday, I need to share it. I'm a total sucker for these types of videos... (I realize in the still shot there, it looks like those two people are burping, but they're not... they're singing! Click "play" and see for yourself!)



Made me weep -- what a voice.

Oh, you think that's bad, check this "dog rescue" video out... get a kleenex ready...



Man, what a one-two punch, eh? Here you dropped in to hopefully grab a couple chuckles, maybe see a funny pic or two, eh?

OK, fine, here's a couple funny pics, to kick things up a notch...


Hmm.... that one might push the absurdity envelope out a bit too far to qualify as truly "funny"... You have to be kind of subtle about these things sometimes, otherwise it sounds a note that is just "off" enough to grate slightly upon the soul... let me try again...


Hmm... OK, creative pet grooming, that can be funny... but in this case it borders on unnerving... I mean, doesn't it almost look like a loaf of sliced bread? And really, who would do that to their cat? It's a bit cruel. How long would that take to grow back out to normal? Probably makes for awkward petting, too... unpleasant for both the petter and the pettee, methinks...

Lemme try again...


OK, an eel telling a bad pun... closer... it's set up nicely with the corny truism, soft colors and the silhouette, and yes, eels do always look like they've just told a punchline to a bad joke and are waiting for people to laugh... and, actually, it is a pretty funny pun, and no mistake... hmm... should I call that a winner, or try again..?


Gahh!!! Flew way back over into absurd again... man, and I was so close! I should have quit while I was ahead...

Sorry...

So I finished The Heroes (J. Abercombie), and I've decided it's my second favorite book of all time, right behind Gates of Fire (Steven Pressfield). For all the blood and guts and coarse language and morally flawed characters, I just love the heck out of it. Great, great stuff. Having read it before, and therefore knowing what would happen, did nothing to detract from the enjoyment. In fact, I was able to savor the scenes that much more because the unpredictability of it all was laid aside, and I could enjoy each sentence and bit of dialog, like enjoying a great meal. If you've got the stomach for it, by all means, read it. At least grab the sample and see if the style agrees with you.

I've moved on to The Blade Itself (Book One in Abercrombie's First Law Trilogy), since I miss the Bloody Nine.

I tried a few other books and samples before launching into The Blade Itself... I tell you, I don't envy Rebecca, having to read/evaluate manuscripts from writers trying to get published... I definitely would not have the patience to do that as a job... I mean, I can barely get into published books if they don't hit me just right. Friday, I picked up and started reading a book that a friend of mine hyped up recently, eager to dive in and enjoy it... and was very sadly disappointed by the underwhelming quality... maybe I'm just jaded, or finicky, or a snob or whatever... but I have little patience for books that don't grab me right off, and display in themselves a level of competence befitting a professional... I feel like I can tell on the first page whether a writer has "it" or not... I'm sure Rebecca can as well... but where she finds the resolve to power through a lackluster, mediocre, or outright abysmal manuscript, I have no idea... hats off to you, Reb and those like you.

A great sample I read recently is The Legend of Eli Monpress by Rachel Aaron. Very creative and solidly written and just plain fun. I'll get it when the price drops a bit, or when I get a gift card.

I won't list all of the ones that, shall we say, failed to impress me lately. Man, I sound like such a jerk! I'm sorry! I don't know what to say... but it seems for every one I like, there are at least 5 that I don't.

OK, here's another Bollywood fight scene that had me laughing so hard, I almost passed out. Please, you really have to watch this -- from the beginning, if you can. If not, at least skip forward to the (3:40) mark and watch the Flying Slap of Doom... (and yes, that is a lamppost Singham is holding as he runs there, in the thumbnail, lol)



OMG, have you ever laughed that hard? LOVE the tiger growls, lol. And when Singham spanks them with the belt at the end. Now THAT is a real man.... maybe I'm just fond of him because he has the Wagner Scowl... we must be brothers somehow... I should get together with the Fowlers and film a Bollywood-style fight scene, lol...

OK, what else?

Oh, in the "advice" column on the A to Z Challenge site, they strongly suggest that the daily posts be brief... that... is going to be hard for me... you know how long-winded I am... that will be a "challenge" more than posting daily, for sure. Hey, I posted daily for a whole year, easy-peasy for a man as full of hot air as I am... but can I be brief? And can I type the word "brief" without making a joke about wearing briefs?

We shall see.

Adios for now.

Dave the Brief

6 comments:

Rebecca said...

I have no idea how I do it either sometimes, lol. I have read 30 full manuscripts so far and only liked two of them! There were about two or three that I thought were passable, but the rest I hated from the first page...literally. But being the masochist that I am, I continue reading. Well no, it’s my job, and in addition, I WANT the authors to become better. Chalk it up to the teacher in me, but I want them to do well. And if I have to suffer for a couple hours during the read and labor over how to articulate compassionately what they need to change in order for them to be better authors, then so be it. I want a better quality of books on the market.

Rant, rant, rant. Anyway, thanks for the tears and the smiles. The singing was amazing. The Bollywood clip was…amusing. The tiger growls were killing me, as was the strange editing--the little boy suddenly appears on his leg, the main guy suddenly appears running next to one of the bad guys, etc. Although, I wasn’t as amused as you were with the spanking part. I was a little disturbed.

See you tomorrow on the blog challenge! I think most likely I’ll be long-winded at first and then I’ll lose all my steam. I am still reading all those uninspiring manuscripts…

Abbie Josephsen said...

man, singham is a good looking dude! I liked the "cool walk" with the lamppost :D um, but yeah, slapping, growls and spanking were a bit creepy :P

lol, but the eel pun was funny :)

David Wagner said...

My 2 favorite Josephsens!

Reb: You're made of far sterner stuff than I, that's for sure. I'm all for wanting better books on the market, but I would be merciless in my critique, I just know it...

I've seen other Singham fight clips on YouTube, and he always seems to hand his gun over to a lady, remove his belt, and slap the heck out of people like that. I guess it's one of his signatures.

Abbie: Ah, a fellow fan of bad puns!

DeniseCovey_L_Aussie said...

Hi David.I randomly picked you up after you commented on one of the early A-Z posts. I'm here to squish you luck. Yes, judging by the size and content of this post your challenge is to be brief, lol!

Hope to see you during the challenge.

Denise

Rug Chick said...

Just make sure your briefs are clean.

=)

Lisa

Linda Fischer said...

Saw the Post of Jonathan and whats her name (ooh that's bad that I can't remember her name.)
couldn't watch the puppy dog one though because my daughter is taking a test and she needs extreme quiet. (sigh). I'll have to come back later.

Good luck with A-z!

L