Thursday, June 17, 2010

"Remember: You Can't Beam Through A Forcefield. So Don't Try It!" -- William Shatner


"Car wash" or "war cash", you decide...

Greetings, fellow space travelers! Captain Dave here, pilot of the Good Spaceship Ne'er-Do-Well, with a travel update. We've still got many months before we reach Mars, but not a problem. We've got thousands of in-flight movies and TV shows available for viewing, as well as numerous games to play on the LCD panels built into the seatback in front of you. I've taken off the No Smoking signs, so feel free to light up, as long as you keep it legal. Remember: It is against intergalactic law to tamper with the video cameras in the lavatories.

And now, points of interest.

If you look out the starboard side windows, you'll see a fun video that will make you hearken back to the days of your childhood, as a group of folks add a slide to the stairs at a subway terminal.


Very cool. It's a VW commercial, actually. Those crazy Germans...

Also out of the starboard windows, you might catch a glimpse of a literalistic interpretation of Dr. Suess' "The Cat in the Hat"...


There! Did you see it? Yes? No? Meh, o well...

If you'll check the in-flight magazine under your seat, you could take a peek at an admittedly quite lame T-Shirt design I whipped up for Patrick Rothfuss' T-shirt contest he's having. I'm a sucker for a good play on words...


Of course, it's supposed to be "Lyre, Lyre, Pat's On Fire", but it's probably too far "out there" to score any points except from those with a likewise simplistic sense of humor. I still have a few more days to submit a design, I may do another. I was thinking of a girl's T-shirt design that has a big lyre on it, with the words "Play Me Like Kvothe" on it... That might be a bit too risqué, however...

Also in the in-flight magazine, you'll find my thoughts on a couple games I've tried out lately. Oddly enough, they are both 3rd person sci-fi action shooters that take place on disabled starships, with requisite swarms of insectoid aliens running amok and begging to be shot. One is called Dead Space, the other called Alien Breed: Impact. The first is a big budget shooter that got tons of good press, the other is a cheapish indie game. Too soon to tell on both, at this point... they're both solid performers, but really, 3rd person games don't do much for me, unless they are pure RPGs. I much prefer 1st person action in a shooter. Stay tuned!

Now, if you pull up the rear-view webcam shot on your LCD screens in front of you, you'll see, drifting in the debris behind us, the recently jettisoned 3rd book in the Night Angel Trilogy by Brent Weeks, which I simply ran out of steam on, and decided to toss out mid-read. Yes, I've given up on it! I hope no one on board wished to read it - you'll need a space suit with a built-in hyper-drive on it in order to bail out to retrieve it, and then hope to catch up with us... cuz I ain't stopping! Next on my read list are:


Storm Front by Jim Butcher. He's a paranormal detective, apparently. Sort of a magician, in a hybrid fantasy-noir type of setting. I guess they made it into a series for the Sci-Fi channel, but I never watched it. There's over a dozen books in the series, and this is book one. We'll see.


Switch by Chip and Dan Heath. It's a non-fiction book that my sister gave me, dealing with making changes in life, when changes are hard to make. I'm the target audience! I'm forever wishing I could spend my time differently. I hope this book can help. I made an initial dent in it Wednesday night. It's an easy read.

OK, if you're sitting on the port side of the vessel, a glance out the windows might reveal a pair of crazy-cool videos. The first is an insane hiker navigating a "trail" that I'm sure required a change of underpants afterward... it's a 10 minute video - feel free to skip around a bit, if you have not the patience. But it's definitely worth a look...


The second video is a mini-film (4 minutes) of a free diver plunging to incredible depths, in a beautiful little piece of filming/editing...


Whenever I watch stuff like that, I try holding my breath as long as the people do... forget it... not to mention the bends he would get if that were real... still, it's pretty!

For those of a scientific bent, ask a passing stewardess to see the poster of the complex anatomical diagram of the inside of a goldfish cracker. Very fascinating. I usually just chomp them by the handful without giving much thought to the anatomy of those tasty little suckers....


And finally, watch your seatback monitors for a second... I'm going to upload a hilarious picture my Middle Daughter took recently...


That's my crazy-goofy 4-year old daughter Mags making that Epic Face in the corner there... also pictured is my Middle Daughter (ironically enough, in the middle), and her school-friend on the right. Every time I see this picture, I laugh until I can't breath no mo'... omg, I love it. Lest you think that's what Mags normally looks like, let me assure you, she's a sweet, beautiful little kid... as evidenced in this picture of her, Wifey and Eddie Guerrero...


OK, that's all for this update. I'll have another update soon. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of the flight. Captain Dave, signing out...

5 comments:

Drydoryssus said...

You'll have to admit Cap'n, these crazy Germans have done quite a lot of imaginative public experiments you like to post about every now and then.

logankstewart said...

Dude, that Pat shirt is bad to the bone. Pat looks like a biker guy, not an international superstar of literature. Still, awesome shirt.

Oh I hope you enjoy Dead Space. It's one of my most favorite games of all time. Sadly, the computer version did not receive as good as reviews as the console due to some clunky controls or something. Still, the game is awesome and I love it.

The Dresden Files have long been on my reading list, but I've just never got around to them. One of these days.

Cool diving video thing.

Anonymous said...

Great post! Remind me again why you don't do this daily? I almost hyperventilated after the diving clip, and laughed at the slide. I always think in terms of studies: who do people guess would most likely go down the slide; who actually goes down the slide; what are the people going down the slide wearing; age and gender, etc...I love that kind of stuff because often the results are surprising!

David Wagner said...

Dry: Yeah, I have a soft spot for Germans. They're definitely unique...

Logan: Kinda surprised you liked the shirt! Dead Space is solid so far... I played for an hour or so, but apparently I didn't save (I thought it auto-saved!) so now I have to start over again...

Ann: I guess I don't do it every day because a lot of what I have to say lately isn't exactly appropriate for public consumption... so I've been dumping it into a journal... just wrestling with the ever-present "personal stuff"... but I'll try to step it up another notch or so... thanks for the encouragement...

My verification word is "bubtze"...

Abbie said...

haha, yeah, your oldest daughter has Mags' face on her phone, just so she can thrust it in my face and say, LOOK! BAHAHA! its quite funny actually :)