Tuesday, February 28, 2012

It Was A Dark and Stormy Night... (Where's My Hoodie?)


Greetings, y'all! Dave the Goof here, with another blast of hot air, to warm you up on those chilly Winter nights... but during the day, you're on your own! My hot air is ineffective when the sun is up. I know that leaves a burning question in your hearts, though... and that is... "Why on earth did you capitalize "Winter", Dave?"

I don't know... I just don't know...

As I type this, it is cold and rainy and a little windy here in San Diego. In fact, in Ramona, it is snowing tonight... I know what you're thinking... "Big deal!" And yes, you're right. But remember... in San Diego, we get exactly 3 days of bad weather per year. So consider yourself lucky! Yes, lucky! Lucky that I live in the best place on earth (weather-wise) and that you live in some other sucky town/state! How lucky you must be, to be able to think of how it feels to be me... living in a place that is paradise for 360+ days of each year... only to have to suffer through a mildly-miserable rainy night like tonight! O, the humanity! You're so lucky!

Only one thing could be worse...


*Shudder* Great... now I won't be able to sleep tonight! Such shocking imagery! How inconvenient that would be... to have to go an extra block to the next Starbucks, to get a cup of overpriced coffee!

Man, this post is just filled with horrors tonight... I can't believe you haven't run screaming for the theater door yet. You must be a glutton for punishment. Or a putton for glunishment, one of the two...

A button for banishment? Or maybe you'll eat mutton to finish Lent...

I don't know... I'll never figure out women...

So I had a rare opportunity given to me recently, which I promptly blew. Now I will tell you about it (in brief), so you can mock me mercilessly (as though I don't get mocked enough for wearing briefs!). The author Greg Hamerton said he'd answer some questions for a "author interview" post for my blog if I wanted -- only if the questions didn't involve story spoilers! It would have been my first legitimate interview in my blog's history! Of course, I immediately took him up on it, and set out to write some questions. Funny thing was, when I wrote out the novel- and craft-related questions I wanted to know most, all of them dealt with things that would reveal things about the story/characters, etc. All the "safe" questions I might have asked have already been answered by interviews more official than I...

So I submitted the questions anyway, knowing that none of them will make it out here, for others to read. And you know what? I'm ok with that. It was awesome that he even offered to begin with. And even if he doesn't answer any of my questions, knowing that he at least read through them is truly enough for me, if only to let him know the types of things I wondered about as I read his books. As an author, I'd kind of like to know that myself. But my chance at a real, official "author interview" was DOA, because of my own lack of creativity, I suppose, in finding benign-yet-interesting questions to ask him.

Ah, well, there's always next time.

That reminds me, the friend that was primarily responsible for getting me my autographed copy of Steven Pressfield's Gates of Fire (my all-time favorite book) told me late last year that he'd be interviewing Pressfield again sometime this spring, and that if it happens out here in SoCal again, he'd invite me along to lunch, to meet the author. How cool would that be? We'll see if it actually happens or not... not many celebrities I'd get a kick out of meeting, but Pressfield is on that short list. Along with ... um...

Holy cow... I've just sat here for several minutes, mouth agape, pondering Famous People I'd Like To Meet... I can't think of a blessed soul! Who? Michael Savage? Maybe, but he already knows he's a genius, he doesn't need me telling him. Kurt Angle? One of the greatest wrestlers ever, but probably not. Frank Caliendo? Maybe, if only to beg him to please come up with some new material. Daniel Day Lewis? Amazing actor, but apparently a bit of an odd reclusive type... hmm... well, I guess my list is one name long after all...


So since finishing I Know Not (JD Ross), I've dabbled with a couple more titles, and dismissed them. Alice in Deadland (M. Dhur) is a zombie novel, which was too corny for me, so I abandoned it. Taming Fire (A. Pogue) was a bit too shallow and cliche (not to mention it decided to dive into Chaos vs Order... unfortunate mistake, especially since I've just finished reading the masterful Second Sight) so I abandoned that one as well. Embedded (D. Abnett) is a sci-fi yarn, but it was too gimmicky and self-impressed for my tastes, so out it went. Of Blood and Honey (S. Leicht) is an urban-fantasy book that had an interesting premise, but it lost me after the prison rape scene, so I abandoned that as well.

So I took a deep breath, and began the mammoth The Way of Kings, by master author Brandon Sanderson. Didn't know if I was going to be up for a giant book, but I pulled the trigger anyway.

Are you proud of me?

You are? Good, let us move on, then...

And now, a video that some creative yahoo made using in-game footage from Skyrim...



Awesome (IMHO). I wonder how he crafted that?

Not into fake, epic computer-generated battles, eh? Well, SORRY! Gee, aren't you picky! You're just too classy for me, aren't you!? Oh, look at you, all "I'm far above being taken in by some dumb Skyrim battle video, Dave! Try again! Cater to me! Post a video that matches my level of classiness! Or I won't be your friend anymore!"

Fine, here... an Aussie with a mohawk in a kilt, doing a cover of Queen's "We Will Rock You" on a set of bagpipes...



It doesn't get any classier than that... see? Now we can remain friends!

Well, I believe I've expelled enough hot air for one evening. Gonna go lay in bed and listen to the rain, and contemplate life and all that hipster/psuedo-philosophical/spoiled-American nonsense...

Adios,

Dave the Sleepy

5 comments:

Drydoryssus said...

Hey, isn't that the Starbucks in Korae St., downtown Athens?

Aye, night of February 12th...
I think I caught a glimpse of the place burning myself.

That's what you get for selling over-priced coffee in the middle of a recession, I guess...

logankstewart said...

I'm rather certain that Kentucky will declare war on California now. We'll begin shelling in the San Diego area. Maybe get a little climate change for you spoiled folks.

That's unfortunate about Of Blood and Honey. It's in my TBR to read, and it got quite a bit of praise. I still plan on reading it (eventually), but we'll see.

Good luck with Sanderson. That book was great!

Mmm... Skyrim... I've got 73hrs into it and only one step towards the Main Quest. Too many other things keep catching my eyes.

Abbie Josephsen said...

I'm immensely proud of you for reading it and so stoked you liked it and CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR REVIEW!!!! and the stats on how long it took you to read :D

David Wagner said...

Dry: I suppose they got the coffee a bit too hot that night, eh? You didn't torch the place, did you? You always did prefer the Earth Mastery, didn't you...

Logan: If you get deeper into Of Blood and Honey, let me know if you feel it's a worthy read. DO the main quest in Skyrim! It's fun, eh!

Abbie: I don't know, Abbie... the book seems bloated and plodding... I'm diggin Kaladin, but that's about it so far. I'm about 45% through it so far.

logankstewart said...

@Dave: Don't you dare give up on Sanderson! You hear me! Don't do it. If you like Kal, just stick with it. And if you like the rest of Sanderson's stuff, stick with it. And if you like epic fantasy, stick with it. And if you're curious about Hoid, stick with it. And if you want something excellent, stick with it. And if you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, stick with it. Otherwise, just abandon hope and throw the book at the first wild dog you see.