Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Retrospection, Offensive Vegetables and the Epic Bidet Sketch

Have I used this picture before? Or merely one very similar? Come on, you all keep track of these things, right? Being connoisseurs of fine blogging in general, and this blog specifically, I'm sure you know right away if/when I reuse intro landscapey pictures, eh? Eh?

What? You know not! Well, harrumph, I say! See how offended and indignant I am? SEE?

OK, it passed, never mind...

I found that sketch quite amusing, and hey, I figured I'd share! You didn't have to watch it all small like that, silly; you could have clicked the "full screen" button in the corner! Sheesh! Although I believe if you are joining me tonight from outside the US, then Hulu will not let you watch it! And you'll just have to wonder what you missed. I'll give you a hint: it involves a bidet, and a world-class beard...

So, as per usual, I have about a half-dozen projects that are demanding my full attention... needless to say, they are all disappointed in me... since I am having to dole out a bit of time each day to each of them, slowly moving them all forward to completion... at the moment, it's hard to tell which will finish first... the Christmas play or the Camp Video... after that, my sister's mailing list, and then pastor's mammoth Kindle book cover project. And then there's total Skyrim domination and both of my novels... and then Easter looms large in the distance...

Yeah, that all likely means nothing to you, so I shall move on, and entertain you with a scathing editorial comment against a certain vegetable...

Well said... still, broccoli is better than brussell sprouts...[shudder]... brussell sprouts are so offensive, I won't even take the time to look up how to properly spell them!

So our DVD player died. I bought a new one. WOW! HOW EXCITING, DAVE!!! I'M SOOOOO GONNA PASS OUT FROM EXCITEMENT RIGHT NOW!!!!1!!!! So the new DVD player plays Blu-Ray discs as well. Which means our pathetically, repulsively mammoth DVD collection is about to evolve further. Ah, the glories of retarded chick flicks, now seen in stunning high-def! Katherine Heigl, make yourself at home! Anyway, the player also has a feature where it wirelessly accesses the internet, so we can stream NetFlix Watch Instantly to our TV. The girls have been watching Psyche nonstop since we figured out how to get it to work. Well, the good news is that now I can downgrade our cable package to basic cable only, to save $$$. Which is good, since my rent is increasing yet again.

Is there an unwritten, understood law that says rent must always increase every year? It's a bummer. They raise it just enough to be painful, but not enough to force us to move out in a huff. The last thing I want to do is move; I like it here. Still, it's like we're being punished for each year we stay here.

Ah, first world problems! All things considered, I still have an over-abundance of things to be thankful for.

Christmas shopping.... [shudder]

So I found an awesome blog... well, it's awesome to me, but I'm just a big softy... it's called Dear Photograph, and features people submitting pictures of pictures... like this...

People hold up old family photos and re-photograph them in the same setting that the original picture was snapped in. They then write a little bit about the photo and/or the people in the photo. Makes for fascinating browsing, if your bent leans toward reflection... a little window back in time. Very cool. Click this link to go to the blog, eh!

OK, well, I think I've given you enough text to skim through for one night. Give me another day or three and I'll dredge up some more.

I hope your holidays are/will be good ones.

Dave the Old Softy

PS I have 61 Followers now! I'm famous!


The Writer Currently Known as Rory said...

Actually, broccoli is less of a horror when it's cooked. Raw is when the mushroom cloud forms.

Brussels sprouts are indeed demons from Hell, the Hell in which Kathy Griffin is deemed funny.

logankstewart said...

So let me see here. Your pastor is writing an e-book about mammoths and you're designing the cover? What's more, all of your dvds are also about mammoths. Do you guys still have those things out West?

Agreed with Rory: raw broccoli is when it's bad. Same as cauliflower.

My family decided to completely drop our satellite package once we got Netflix. Now we have a digital antenna + Netflix and we still don't spend too much time with the tube. Plus, it really does save a ton of money. So... yay!

Anonymous said...

I loved the "Shopping List" video! That was hilarious. There's no way I could ask for those items and keep a straight face.

Our family definitely does the Psych Marathon from Netflix, too! My Mom has recently discovered Netflix, and it would be a crossed off item on her bucket list to have it played on her TV :)

Rent: I think it's disgusting when landlords do that. I've heard that some will negotiate, but I'm not sure how one goes about doing that. Sorry. Maybe it's time to move (this coming from someone who despises moving).

Beth A.

Abbie Josephsen said...

Broccoli is amazing, when cooked, and my favorite part is actually the stems!!! thats where all the yummy juice is :) and I use to think brussell sprouts were ick, but then I had some of Mr. P's and they are pretty good! not my fav, but edible :)
school is ALMOST DONE!!!! in like 2 weeks, can I borrow your gates of fire book?

David Wagner said...

Rory: Agreed. Kathy Griffin is unfunny.

Logan: Mammoths are all the rage around here. But don't mess with the giants that own them...

Beth: Glad you liked the vid. I agree, I wouldn't be able to make it through that one either. I'm torn about moving... even with the rent going up again, I'm not sure we'd be able to find a place this big/nice for the dough. Guess it wouldn't hurt to look around...

Abbie: Broccoli, yummy!? NOOOO!!! Even though you like broccoli, I'll still loan you Gates of Fire, no prob. Good luck with the school...

Drydoryssus said...

[ runs away screaming ]

Katherine Heigl!?
[ runs farther away screaming louder ]

Michelle said...

Love the Dear Photograph site. I have it in my mind to try that one day with one of my old photos.

And as far as the rent goes, what can you do? My health insurance does the same thing, and each year they say the increase is to provide me with better care, and yet, each year they take away more things they will pay for...oh well! God will provide, right?

Have a great day :)
Good luck with all your projects!