Sorry. I'm a sucker for waterside shots with cool gradients and that wispy foggy water effect... how moody, eh!? Eh!?
Don't read the next sentence if you don't want advance information on how my life is going to turn out. You have been warned!
I'm going to live happily ever after.
END SPOILER ALERT.
OK, it's safe to keep reading now, spoiler free.
What have I to share today? Well, the same old stuff. Life is awesome. Life sucks. I feel terrific. I feel yucky. Everything is wonderful. What else can go wrong? Life is full of wonder and joy. Life is full of pain and sorrow.
But, I had a fish taco for dinner tonight! So, I have that going for me. Which is nice.
My sister Lisa lamented the fact that my 500th post was wind-free. So to make up for that lack, I shall now post a Jack Vale video, called LISTEN!
Man, I wish I had the nerve to do that. Jack is awesome.
And now, Midlife Rambling, by Dave Wagner
So, I've got that angsty tight feeling in my bones again... like I'm wearing a jacket that's too tight for me, and I just want to rip it off and fling it away. I want to travel. I want to break out of my routine. I want to DO SOMETHING. I feel like if I kicked the bucket, nobody would say anything about me other than, "Yeah, Dave was a funny guy. And he farted a lot. Yeah... ok, so who wants to talk next?" Is that really the legacy I want to leave? I'm sick of looking at pictures and video of the world, and the people, and the things out there to do and see, while I sit on my duff in my office, content to play games, drink Starbucks, and threaten to write. Gah, I hate that feeling, like I'm frittering away my life doing next-to-nothing! GAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Eldest Daughter turns 21 in exactly one week. Middle Daughter turns 16 in July. They're both so wonderful and smart and beautiful. All my kids are treasures to me, priceless without limit. Sometimes I get all panicky, thinking maybe I haven't been the best dad for them. The type of dad they needed. I always figured, just being here was a big step in the right direction. That the rest would take care of itself. Maybe it has, maybe not, who knows?
I have this Windows 7 theme I downloaded, that cycles through a bunch of nice landscapey pictures of Ireland. There are some beautiful places in the world. Of course, San Diego is beautiful. I don't normally "see" that. I've grown up here, so usually, it doesn't register anymore. Maybe somewhere, someone has a Win7 theme that cycles pictures of San Diego, and they daydream about coming here. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side (of the world), eh? Well, when it comes to green, I think it would be hard to beat Ireland. I've actually been there before - went in March of 2001, actually. My mind was otherwise occupied while we were there, so don't recall much of the scenery. Of course, the Shankill district of Belfast isn't exactly the most picturesque part of Ireland...
I'd love to go back. And actually see the place this time. I mean, really "see" it...
I know in my head that the very height of "living" is to be able to hear God, find out exactly what He'd like me to do right now, and do it... I've been a believer in that for a decade or longer now. Why I don't actually do it is a mystery to me still. Fear, I suppose. Fear of the unknown. Fear of hearing wrong and doing something foolish (or dangerous). Fear of starting down a path where mistakes can have eternal consequences (it's safer not to start at all then to start and fail big). I know (again, in my head) that that's merely a complete lack of trust talking. God wouldn't let me fall if I pursued that type of life... but I cling to what I know, even though it is lacking. Even though the fruit of it is an often-overwhelming angsty feeling, like wearing a jacket that is too tight for me, that I just want to rip off and fling away...
Logan started a Theology blog called Ruminating About Scripture, if that sort of thing intrigues you.
Do I feel hypocritical waxing theologic while simultaneously joking about passing wind, and posting/writing silly, vacuous things? While recommending and praising books that have profane elements? Complaining about life when, all things considered, everything is wonderful? Well, yeah, I do. I have ways of justifying it to myself, but really, it's just the result of compromise. A legacy of compromise. Is that really what I want?
Well, there's only one thing to do! Deflect the issue by posting something irreverent!
Well, once again, I started a blog post with a blank window, and had no clue what I would post. It is a method that regularly yields inconsistent results. I suppose time will tell where this post rates on the Palatability Scale.
Adios for now.
Dave the Listless