Dave sits on a bench at the mall near his house, and watches people wander by, unimpressed with their questionable path-finding AI. As usual, the largest groups of meandering mall-haunters are: Overly-preened Teens; the Grey-haired Brigade; and a label-less group comprised of "well-dressed women over 40 on their way to or from Nordstrom's." They all have their unique set of quirks, yet none of the members of these major groups of mall-striders (or even most of the other subgroups) bother Dave much anymore. He has finally achieved an age where he realizes that people are just people.
There remains, however, a sub-group that still causes an eyebrow to arch on Dave's forehead; namely, those who have decided, for whatever reason, to insert discs or hoops into various parts of their face, to create unsightly, gaping holes in their flesh. Usually the loops are wedged into the ear lobes, but occasionally the feature of choice is the nose, or even the cheek or lower lip. Large collections of "regular" earrings don't phase Dave anymore. Neither does seeing people covered in tattoos. But the bizarre facial hoops are still a mystery to him. Not being a dentist, seeing someone's lower gumline is disconcerting to Dave. And adding additional nostrils to one's face is pure confusion - what message could possibly be conveyed by such an act of exhibition?
Dave shrugs it off and turns his attention back to the passing human flotsam - knowing that when he finally decides to stand up to leave, he will become another piece floating by. Dave embraces his membership in the mall subgroup called "Those out of whom life has beaten the sense of superiority, who now shuffle along, happy to be alive and in reasonably good health."
The number of stores Dave's likes to go into at the mall has shrunk recently, from three (the Game store, the Apple store, and Starbucks) down to two (bye bye, game store!). In an effort to find something else to look at while wandering, Dave goes into the pet store. The sign in the window notifies Dave that the store is under new management... inside, Dave finds...
A Monorail Cat
A Raccoon Comedian
A Phlegmatic Retriever
A Difficult Bear
A Suspicious Husky
And a couple of Overly-Attentive Terriers
Needless to say, Dave is impressed with the pet store, and its new management. Dave's list of mall stores he will frequent has now been raised back up to three. Of course, he cannot afford a new pet, but there's no harm in looking, Dave tells himself.
Dave wanders into Sears to look at the latest flatscreen TV's - another item he cannot currently afford to buy. But again, Dave gets his browse on... Most of the TV's lining the aisles have the same thing playing upon them: a repeating highlight video of high-definition shots of nature, designed to show off the picture quality of each set. While impressive, it does not hold Dave's interest for long. For squirreled away in the clearance section of the far aisle is a small TV playing more interesting clips...
A Crazy Norwegian
A Quick Joke Pitch
An Incredible Stunt Bicyclist
And a German beer commercial that skirts the line of Good Taste...
Dave's cellphone rings. He answers. It is his wife, notifying him that she and their daughters are finished shopping, and are cleared for departure. Dave smiles. He pockets his cellphone and heads for the exit.
OK, way too much stuff to cover, so I think I'll just make it a Speed Round instead of going into too much detail...
A Mini-Review: Stories of Your Life and Others
Finished the Ted Chiang collection called Stories of Your Life, with ultimately mixed results. After having finished the collection, I shall now be forced to temper my enthusiasm from a few posts ago. I still hold that Understand is perhaps the best short work I've ever read, for the combination of style, content and pure reading enjoyment. I also especially enjoyed Story of Your Life, Hell is the Absence of God and Tower of Babylon, for their imagination as well as their level of creative writing.
A couple of his later pieces were a bit too experimental for my tastes, but I applaud the author for trying unorthodox approaches (I'm thinking mainly of his pieces entitled The Evolution of Human Science and Liking What You See: A Documentary). While I still whole-heartedly recommend this collection, it wasn't without its weak links. Give it a shot and see what you think. Leave me a comment about it!
Next...
A Mini-Review: Facing Ali
I got this disc from Netflix the other day, and immediately gave it a watching. It's a documentary about Muhammad Ali, from the perspective of those boxers that faced him in most of his biggest, most-famous bouts. Rather than just being another documentary about the legend, it covered new ground (for me, anyway), highlighting the affects that each fight had on those fighters that fought Ali, whether they beat him or lost. Boxers such as Henry Cooper, George Chuvalo, George Foreman, Joe Frazier, Larry Holmes, Ernie Shavers, Ken Norton and others. Also unique in this doc were the less-than-flattering glimpses and details about Ali that the casual fan might never have heard. He wasn't always the squeaky-clean fighter, and his decisions, both personal and career-wise, weren't always very logical.
I think this documentary kind of transcends boxing. It really was touching to hear about the backgrounds of all these fighters, how they grew up, the tough times they all seemed to have trying to make it in professional boxing, and how their lives changed (often drastically) after getting the chance to fight Ali. While many of them were not exactly Ali fans at the time of their bouts (not all of them could stomach Ali's bombast), they all seem to honestly be grateful for getting the chance. I especially found George Foreman's account of the famous Thrilla in Manilla fight to be fascinating. All in all, a very inspiring, fascinating, touching documentary. Highly recommended. I may buy a copy for my collection.
Next...
Time to break things up with a hilarious video. You will NOT believe this. It's from a Bollywood movie (from what I understand), and has Russian overdubbed dialog. And the most ridiculous CGI you've ever seen. Trust me, this may well be the best 10 minutes of video on the internet...
It just keeps getting weirder and crazier... I can't decide if it's the best "worst" thing, or the worst "best" thing I've ever watched... what do you think?
A quick side note: I went out back to pick more lemons off of our lemon bush over the weekend. We have another "bush" that sprouted a few lemons as well, so I went over to see if any were ready... and they're not lemons, they're oranges! I'm the proud daddy of a lemon bush and an orange bush now!
Next...
You need to go read Kris' review of one of my all-time favorite movies from the 80's, Die Hard. The review only has a couple measly comments! It needs more love! Click HERE to go read it, and leave the man a quick comment for his effort! For some reason, I really resonated with Die Hard when it came out back in 88. I liked it so much, I went 9 times to the theater to see it, dragging anyone I could (including my mom!). I even bought the movie poster for my wall. It certainly isn't a flawless film - it has its share of corniness and overdone bits, but overall, I enjoyed the heck out of it, and can still quote dozens of lines from the film at will. I think the film has held up pretty well over time. If violence and some profanity doesn't bother you much, I'd recommend watching it if you haven't seen it before.
Speaking of great (though flawed) films, I watched Tombstone last night, with fresh eyes. I've had a strange relationship with Tombstone over the years since it first came out. Didn't see it in the theater, but caught it on disc, and loved it. Of course, my first impression upon seeing it for the first time was of Val Kilmer's incredible performance as Doc Holliday. Subsequent viewings has slowly seen my appreciation for Kurt Russell's performance as Wyatt Earp surpass that of Kilmer's. The more I watch Val's performance, the more overdone it seems to me.
It reminds me of buying an album because of a hit single that is popular on the radio. You buy the album for the single, but the more you listen, the more you enjoy other tracks. Pretty soon, the single is not even one of your favorites on the album anymore. Catchy, but gets old quick. Whereas often the less catchy ones have legs, and they grow on you, and ultimately mean way more.
Anyway, loved Kurt Russell's performance last night, and I enjoy Sam Elliot as Wyatt's brother Virgil (though he also overdoes it occasionally). I've NEVER been a fan of Bill Paxton in any capacity, and I can't believe they cast him as Wyatt's other brother Morgan. Still get a big kick out of Billy Bob Thornton's cameo, as well as Billy Zane. Michael Biehn's performance as Johnny Ringo was terrific as well. Tons of cameo's - you gotta love an ensemble film like this.
However, this time around, I've noticed a lot of the flaws in the film. Odd sequences of events, strange shot framing decisions, some questionable casting choices, unnecessary melodrama, questionable historic accuracy. Still, it's a great film, and well worthy of a watching, again, if you don't mind violence and some profanity.
Went up to my mommy's house to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday. Actually watched the whole thing, for the first time since I can remember. Maybe first time ever. I don't think I even watched the whole game when the Chargers were in it (I hate to watch them lose). Anyway, great game, though I didn't really care who won, so long as it was close. Wifey was cheering on the Packers, and Sister was cheering on the Steelers, which was cool. Every play, somebody was cheering! I read today that 110 million people watched the game - by far the largest Super Bowl audience ever. Wonder what that was all about? My favorite part was Christina Aguilera messing up the National Anthem, lol.
Guess I'll call it a night. Got the first disc of The Pacific from Netflix as well, and of course, gobbled it up. I'll get a few more discs under my belt before writing a review. I don't want to skim over something that is this important to me. It deserves my full attention.
Well, one and most, anyway... one of you deserves a slap rather than a greetings! Whoever was actually praying that my life would get more interesting! Of course, God answered that prayer, but in a way that I absolutely cannot (and will not) talk about. So, yeah, things are interesting right now, but ironically, I can't speak on it!
So, I'll move onto other random odds and ends...
Abbie and Rebekah are trying to talk me into participating in a local Scrabble tourney. I don't know, I'm torn. Tourney rules are different - all my crutches would be removed. You can't consult a dictionary. Your opponent can play fake words, to try and trick you. If you challenge a play and the play is legal, you lose your turn. If you challenge it and it is a fake, then your opponent loses his turn. It's a gamble some will take, since a legit-sounding bingo can yield big rewards if it's unchallenged.
Plus, the rounds are timed, with one of those alternating chess clocks. Each player is allowed 15 total minutes to make all his plays. Every minute you go over the 15 minutes, you lose 10 points off the final score.
So, you need a huge cache of words stored in your brain ahead of time, be able to decide on plays quickly, and have the stones to both play fake words and challenge your opponent. I don't know if I can handle the pressure! But then, there's the fame and glory and money and fans and the key to the city...
Actually, the most compelling reason for me to attempt it would be so I could have something fun to blog about. Who knows, maybe I'll catch someone cheating and cause an uproar again!
Abbie asked recently what ever happened in the aftermath of the "hot dog eating scandal" from last Spring. In a word: nothing. I guess when you have backers in high places, you can get away with blatantly breaking the rules. I thought perhaps rules changes would be in order, but not that I've seen. Kind of a bummer, in a way.
My favorite aspect of that video is when the paratrooper gets close enough to hear the crowd noise. Something amazes me about that video. As straightforward as it is, for some reason I find it incredibly inspiring. Perhaps it is the combination of two things that are so completely American: college football and the military. Love it.
Switching gears, fans of WW2 (such as myself) might be interested in reading a review that Adam Whitehead over on Wertzone posted of a book on the Siege of Stalingrad, by H.E. Salisbury. Sounds like a terrific (though admittedly mammoth) read. HERE is the review.
Also on the topic of WW2, I'm getting the first disc of HBO's series The Pacific from Netflix on Friday. As stunning as Band of Brothers is, I'm really looking forward to seeing The Pacific, especially since it is, in part, based upon one of my favorite books, With the Old Breed, by Eugene Sledge. Once I get through the series, I'll post a review.
Enjoying the nice weather here in sunny SoCal. Sorry, rest of the world. San Diego has its drawbacks too, but one of the benefits is terrific weather year-round.
Gonna hit up the writer's meeting again on Saturday. Squish me luck. I recently sent my Word files for my first book attempt "The Master's Program" to Paula, at her request. So I was reading through them again (after not looking at them for a while), and am sort of seeing them fresh. There's some good stuff in there! There's also things that need to be thought through more and/or re-written completely. *sigh* Wish I could hit my stride on these projects. I don't know how to retroactively apply an outline to my two novel attempts, so I can work through the problems and obstacles better. In both cases, I simple started writing, keeping it all in my head. And in both cases, I've hit obstacles, and I'm at a loss as to how to push through them. I wish I could meet another writer that would say, "Hey, here's what you do. Boom!"
I feel like I've hiked up the edge of a deep ravine, and I can look across and see the other side, where I want to be. But I can't get there. I have to backtrack and find a way down and through. And I don't want to! It was hard hiking to this point! I don't want to undo some of it, and re-write my way through it! Can't I just build a bridge or something? Sheesh!
OK, I'll end tonight with a game, of sorts. Found these two cool videos yesterday, which cycle through a bunch of famous actors and actresses, through the history of cinema. See how many you can identify as they morph by! I got about 85% of the actors, but far less (maybe 50%) of the actresses...
The older actresses I had a hard time identifying.
Anyway, I trust you're all geared up for the weekend. Play nice!
"Everybody's got something to hide, except for me and my monkey!"
Aww, yeah... that song has to be the record for "Song That Uses the Most Cowbell". Love the energy...
Greetings, y'all. Thanks for allowing me a musical intro to tonight's post. Trust me, the alternative was far worse... I almost led with this zoo commercial...
To lead with that video would have been poor form, not to mention bad taste...
Sorry... this is the type of stuff I'm reduced to posting when my "real life" is so uneventful... it's been a very mellow last couple days. Straight-forward, day-at-a-time pluggin' along.
I don't know if I've posted that amazing snow picture before, the one at the top of this post. It was still in my "first run" archive, but I've been known to forget to move used pictures before... I have a mammoth photo archive, from my time spent floating around my favorite sites, looking for funny stuff to share. When I post something, I'll move it to the SPENT folder to avoid repeating myself, since Lord knows, y'all don't need to see stuff like this more than once...
And, knowing me, and my bizarre propensity for finding fart references amusing, I'd likely re-post it if I couldn't remember using it before. Yeah, I'm lame like that. 30 years out of grade school, and I still find this kind of thing funny. I mean, I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I laughed way, way too hard at the following video...
I wish my armpit toots were that impressive...
So, yeah, I bet you're glad you tuned in today, eh? Yep, this is the type of deep, high-brow content that brings thousands of people to this blog daily. Anything to keep you entertained... so that you'll keep buying the Dave merchandise over in the Dave Store, and make me rich, rich, rich. Then I'll save up enough money to finally move out to San Diego, away from all of this gawd-awful snow. Brrr!
Wait, what? I already live in SoCal? Oh, well, never mind, then.
I guess I could be all trendy and talk about the Super Bowl. Except actually, for possibly the first time ever, I have absolutely no interest in the Super Bowl (or the commercials) this year. I mean, how could they top that zoo commercial I posted? Sheesh!
Well, I guess I better post a last funny (though esoteric) comic (that no one under 25 will get), and then hang a star on this epic post....
Sorry, if I need to explain it, it won't be funny...
Adios, y'all. Pray for me, that I have a more interesting week... or my next post will be more of the same...
