"People Will Pay More to be Entertained Than Educated." -- Johnny Carson

OK, quick update today, only 'cuz I'm feeling weird...

Wife Ran Around Town On Me: OK, so Wifey ran her marathon on Sunday 5 hours and 1 minute finish time. Of course, it didn't seem to matter than she beat her previous best time by 24 minutes -- it was all about that one minute over 5 hours. "Why didn't I run just a bit faster!!" Wild. Marathon Summary: crowds, sunburn, long wait, 100 Elvis's, loud music, trolley rides, crazy-expensive celebration lunch.

All in all, a good time.

Second Time Around Is Ungood: So I'm 160 pages into Shadow's Edge, which is part 2 of the Night Angel Trilogy, and I am thoroughly underwhelmed, to the point where I almost want to pitch the book and read something else. Man, would I love to rant about it... in fact, I'm going to.

SPOILERS, YOU ARE FOREWARNED: So what to do when you've become a peerless super-assassin? Well, that means you can ignore your master's Rule #1 about never falling in love, of course! So just when you can put your superheroic-assassin Night Angel skills to use for your country in their time of need, your woman makes you promise not to be a killer anymore, cuz it's yucky, and convinces you to settle down and be a giggling, soft, simpering family man. And then you can get all angsty about how you're not doing what you were meant to do. Hilarity ensues! Dang, if it wasn't for the fact that Laythe told me to stick it out and keep reading, I would have filed this book away on the shelf with a fart and a scowl. I want to read about this guy cutting loose and working to undermine the baddies, all while doing the Batman thing with the local scumbag population. I don't want to see him running a little herbalist shop and going home to snuggle with wifey, while she says "now, you remember your promise, right? Right?"

Spare me.

END OF SPOILERS

Make Me Laugh: So I found a treasure cache on NetFlix the other day. I love watching stand-up comedy, but there are things that bother me about it. The language, of course, and sex humor, I could do without. So trying to find a comedian I can laugh at who isn't crude is often a crap shoot. So when I found the collection of Comedy Central Presents episodes, I was thrilled. First off, there are 216 of the 20-minute episodes! Yes, 216! Most of these comedians I'd never heard of before, too. And since these are all episodes that went on TV, the material is cleaned up. So crazy variety, good production, relatively safe material, and 20 minutes at a pop. Perfect! I can pull them up in the background as I work, instead of music.

Although I've watched enough stand-up comedy to wince when I hear certain topic starters come up. "So I recently got married" or "I recently had my 5th/10th/20th wedding anniversary" followed by applause... this is the signal that we will now hear 15 minutes worth of marriage humor. "I recently had a baby" or "I have 3 kids" followed by applause... this signals the "raising children" humor. "Where are the single people out there?" followed by applause... here comes the "dating/relationship" jokes! Whee! Observational, 'round-the-house humor seems to be the defacto go-to joke source for many. Also huge is racial humor, hinging on the race of the comedian. I've noticed that only the bravest of the white comedians do "racial differences" humor, while most black and latino comedians spend the bulk of their time there.

Anyway, I dig stand-up. I wish I was funny enough to do it, actually. Looks hard, but rewarding. Like acting, I suppose...

I hear ya, Keanu. I hear ya.

So I have a broken link on the right side there. For the past week or so, the blog This Is Why You're Fat has been down. It's either dead outright, or it's been moved without a forwarding address. Maybe it's just going through a massive redesign, I don't know. I mean, they just released a book - you'd think that would be a signal that things were good (and getting better) for the site, as opposed to a sign of doom... I guess I better nose around on Google and see where they went. Their facebook page is still up...

Still haven't had the mold thing taken care of, but the home management place is supposedly sending someone by today. I hope it's an easily-fixable problem and not something that will cause a major uproar to rectify. Otherwise I'll whine! And God forbid, I do that!

OK, a comic strip, and I'm out...

That's from Left Handed Comics. Click THIS LINK to go there and read, as though you've got nothing better to do...

Adios.

Dave

The Way of Shadows, by Brent Weeks: A Review

The Way of Shadows, by Brent Weeks: A Review
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This book is the first in a 3 book series called The Night Angel Trilogy, by fantasy author Brent Weeks. I bought the set outright instead of my usual route of buying book 1 only (until I see if I like it or not), since I read so many good things about the series, and I had read a sample chapter of the author's new series starter (Black Prism), and liked his writing style. So I had complete confidence that I would enjoy this series, and so far, I wasn't wrong.

I shall do my best to keep this review spoiler-free, but there are some general fantasy tropes I want to talk about that will likely tip my hand, as far as the direction the story goes, since I probably wouldn't bring up certain tropes if they weren't present in this book! To be on the safe side, if you intend to read the series, perhaps you should skip reading this review.

Of course, the first trope is the ever-present "cloaked figure" on the cover. Usually when I see a cloaked person on the cover, I wince and want to turn away, but really, that has little to do with the author him/herself and more to do with the decision of the publisher and the cover artist they hire. So I'll usually grit my teeth and proceed.

The summary of the story is thus: Tough, scrappy street urchin with soft heart decides the only way to save himself and his pals from starvation and death in the mean streets is to try and apprentice himself to the city's legendary assassin. He then becomes better than his master, since he is "special". Hilarity ensues.

Lest you feel this will be a negative review, be assured, I enjoyed the read. The fact that I'm posting a review so soon after beginning the book should let you all know how quickly and thoroughly the book hooked me and pulled me along. The story's been done before (in pieces, by other authors/novels) so really, not much new under the sun with this book. But much like my review of Legend by David Gemmell, I can let a lot of the clichés and tropes slide since the book is really well done. The action is strong and steady throughout and there's good character development with many of the main characters (some of the minor characters suffered from lack of development, probably to keep the page count down, and ended up blending into one character in my mind. "Wait, who is that guy again? The Count, the General, the spineless Lord or the Blacksmith?).

There's plenty of good dialog (a moderate amount of profanity), some thwarted love and love triangles, palace intrigue, threatening hoards of invaders, plenty of grungy settings, and more death-by-sword than I have seen in a good while. Weeks gives Abercrombie a run for his money, as far as deaths per page. There's plenty of magic, too, of both evil and good varieties. The magic system is illogical to me, however, and seemed to be structured in such a way as to allow for anything the author's mind wished to shoehorn into it, from standard fireballs and invisible shields, to summoning big ethereal hands for holding people in place, to summoning gigantic sea creatures to swallow ships whole, to delicate medical maneuvers (such as magically stemming the flow of a severed artery and keeping people from dying), to enhanced senses and strength, to invisibility, all the way to enchanted items which are able to channel unimaginable power and destruction. Of course, the big one is the ability to resurrect, but I won't tell you how that plays out.

SPOILER ALERT:

I guess herein lies my main grievance, if you want to call it that. WARNING: this will in some way spoil the ending, so don't read it! The main character evolves from a hapless street kid to (basically) a superhero. He becomes a peerless, invisible, invincible killer/warrior. This is by the end of the first book. He's basically destroyed in the climax, but is soon restored, unscathed, and far more powerful than even before. Where on earth could the author take the story now, for two more books? I found myself not even wanting to read further! Why bother? He's already survived every imaginable difficulty and come out on top, stronger and more potent. What can stop him now?

END SPOILER.

Summary: 4/5 So, while I'm certainly glad I read it, and have already cracked open Book 2, I wasn't blown away, but actually a bit miffed at the clichéd story/cast, and nebulous magic system. There's not much in here that I haven't read elsewhere (and I'm hardly the most well-read person, when it comes to Fantasy), but what is done is solid and the action well done. If this title is on your TBR pile, it deserves that slot. It's a good, solid read.

"It's Easier to Put On Slippers than to Carpet the Whole World." -- Al Franken

GAAH!!! Help!

Mold: Part 1: I found out where that slowly-increasing moldy smell is coming from in my office! Under my plastic chair mat! It is cracked in places, so there's a chance something was spilled on it and seeped through, getting on the carpet beneath. Or perhaps the carpet wasn't fully dry when I put the plastic mat down after the carpets were cleaned... when was that February? O_O I've been catching whiffs of it for weeks, walking around my office, smelling stuff, trying to find the source. GROSS!!! Now I need to call the carpet cleaner back and see if it's something that can be cleaned again, or if I need to have the carpet pulled up and/or replaced. The thing is, there's no visible mold... but I can sure smell it...

And here's Mold: Part 2: We had a hose pop off the garbage disposal in the kitchen sink on Memorial Day, while Middle Daughter was doing dishes. It flooded the area beneath the sink. We tried to dry it out, got the hose fixed, etc. But now the smell of musty moldy yuck is in the kitchen too... DANGIT ALL! I hate that smell! If you were to drop by our house at the moment, you'd be all "You disgusting, sick pigs, living like this!" So don't come over... we've tried disinfecting and spraying bleach, etc. (which just adds a second strong, unpleasant smell) but it ain't working.

So, two unrelated mold events combining to make me want to run away! Hopefully, the carpet guy can fix my office, and the homes management place can send someone to fix under the sink, and things can get back to normal. Until then GROSSSS!!!!!! I hope it doesn't get anyone sick... maybe the mold is giving me those brain flash things I mentioned a few posts ago. Oh, well, it's just death, what's the big deal, right?

Yuck.

I thought for sure the Travel Post would get a large response. But Logan and Havah were the only souls to chip in input! I guess it makes sense that everyone would slowly cease reading my blog, except the Die Hard's. Logan and Havah love me; everyone else is sick of me. And here I'm about to turn 40! Abandoned and unloved! Well, there's only one solution... yep, special content just for Logan and Havah! Yay!

Logan: Hey Logan, I saw a cool video of some guy summarizing LOST... now it makes sense! Tell me if he gets it pretty much right or not...



Still ridiculous, but now it makes sense!

Havah: Sorry, this is the best I could do. An April Fool's prank on the set of Bones.



I know you dig that show.

GAH! Make the mold smell go away! It's making me INSANE!!!

OK, so I'm almost done with The Way of Shadows, by Brent Weeks. It's a very well written book, if stories of political intrigue, assassins and magic are your thing. Nicely written, good characters, yadda yadda yadda. Solid effort. I'll let you know the full skinny once I finish it. So be patient!

Went Friday night to my good pal Carey's 40th surprise birthday party. He was sufficiently surprised. He's a good egg. Got to see his folks, whom I haven't seen in over a decade. Some good food, nice group of friends/relatives. I wish him the best. Now my 40th approaches!

You're supposed to say, "Gee, Dave, really? I didn't know! It's not like you mention it all the time or anything!" Then you punch me in the bread basket, and while I'm doubled-over, coughing, you continue, "What's the big deal? So you're turning 40! Embrace it! Take it like a man! Stop whining about it, you simpering, spineless, feckless gollywomper! Grow a pair!"

How cool is that! Flower Grenades, for guerrilla gardeners. Run by, heave a plant grenade, and it breaks open, and hopefully takes root where it lands. The grenade itself is biodegradable, the soil fertilized, the starter plant inside, ready to live. Just chuck it and run! Cool concept. I wonder if it really works.

So Wifey will run the Rock n Roll Marathon this Sunday. You know how I am with crowds! I'm practically soiling myself just thinking about it... the finish line is at Sea World this year, which presents a conundrum. The usual finish line was at the Marine Corps Training Center near the airport, and they had big bleachers, and lots of grass to kick back on while you wait for your loved ones to finish. But this year it's at the main parking lot of Sea World... and it's going to be hot. No grass, just standing around on a sea of asphalt... will they have bleachers, or places to sit? I wanted to go a bit early and read a book for a while. But now I'll have the kids with me... and who knows what the finish area will be like! Everyone has to take the trolley there - can't park there, it will be closed off. Do I tote around folding chairs? Or just wing it?

Ah well, worse problems to have, I guess.

Admit it: that's funny.

OK, well I guess I'll stop for now. Thanks again to everyone that reads and leaves comments. If I could give you a nice gift and/or a big sloppy kiss, I'd do it. Well, the gift part at least...

Wait, before I go... a Giant Friggin Moose...

O M G....

Ok, now I can go. Wish me luck on the mold thing...

Dave

"I Can't Be Funny If My Feet Don't Feel Right." - Billy Crystal

Half-way through the week. Watching yet more travel shows (more No Reservations, actually), so my thoughts have been leaning toward travel the past few days. I thought I'd whip out a list tonight....

Places I'd Like To Visit (in no particular order):

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Osaka, Japan

The city itself is a bit too day-glo for my tastes, but man, it seems like they have more places to eat per square foot than any other place I've seen - and it all looks yummay! Man, I'd definitely learn to use chopsticks for a trip like that. I realize the purpose of those travel shows is to only show the positive stuff, I get it. But it's not just the amazing food spread that seems appealing. The suburbs look beautiful, the people seem to enjoy baseball like it's a religion, and the vibe seems fun and relaxed. I'd probably not want to live there, but I'd sure like to visit.

Osaka Castle, eh!

Of course, there are other cities in Japan I'd like to visit, but just saying "I want to visit Japan" is kind of lazy writing...

That having been said...

Berlin, Germany

So, what to do when you want to travel but not just be another nameless, faceless, annoyingly ever-present tourist? I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I'd like to go to Berlin and see the Reichstag, the Brandenberg Gate, the Holocaust Memorial, the Tiergarten... all the touristy stuff. And anything related to World War 2, really. I'm not sure I'll ever understand my boundless fascination with World War 2. There's just something about it that runs so deeply in me, it almost defies explanation. And to go, as it were, to the heart of the Axis machine... I don't know. It would do something for me. I really couldn't care less about the famed Berlin nightlife. I don't care for clubbing at all, period. It might be fun to go during Oktoberfest and have some bratwurst and a giant stein of beer and drink in the atmosphere (as it were), but really, this trip would be more about history than food.

"Hey, is the war over yet?" "Nein!"

Again, plenty of other cities in Germany I'd like to visit, but I'm trying to narrow the discussion a bit...  I'd like to learn German before going, though. Don't know why, really; it's not like I feel a need to learn Japanese to go to Osaka.

While I'm on my WW2 Axis theme...

Venice, Italy

Grand Canal, eh!

Granted, I can't help but want to go to Rome as well, but there's something about Venice that I've always found fascinating. Mostly, the history of how it was founded (and why), and how they built it. Yeah, and it's sinking, I know. I'd like to see it before it's gone, like Atlantis. Yeah, I know they have great food if you know where to look. Yeah, I know it's supposed to be romantic... too bad I'm not romantic, eh! I can't imagine going there with Wifey. She'd probably just want to buy shoes. I think to me, the strongest appeal to Venice isn't even the canals. It's the art and the peacefulness. Perhaps it's able to be so peaceful and laid back because of the canals (as opposed to little European cars and scads of bicycles tooling around). Plus, every building is so friggin old, and has so much history attached to it. Dang, all kinds of scandals and political nonsense went on there, around every corner.

Anyway, yeah, Rome certainly has its appeal for me, and I'd like to waste an afternoon wandering around Pompeii, but I think if I could chose one place in Italy to visit, I'd pick Venice. And I'd bring a sketch pad.

Of course, this is by no means a complete list. The places I'd love to visit are too numerous to list here. All kinds of places around the Mediterranean and western Europe. I suppose I could risk offending random readers by making a similar list of Places I Would NOT Want To Visit (for various reasons), but that's probably in bad taste. Let's just say I'm not exactly the biggest fan of the Middle East, Russia or South America... and there are plenty of cities in the US I'd rather not stop in as well!

In fact, even in these places that I'd love to visit, I realize that it's not all sunshine and roses. There's always a dark underbelly, wherever you are. Even here in sunny San Diego (a place, I'm sure, on many people's lists of places they want to visit) there are places I prefer to avoid whenever possible. I get it - people are people, and if you've seen one tourist trap/ruins, you've seen them all. Still, I think there's something to be said for getting out and seeing a bit of the world around you. With the advent of the internet and cable TV, I can visit the world through someone else, but it's not the same.

Part of me would love to visit Egypt and see the statues and temples and pyramids... but another part of me would be simultaneously scared and embarrassed. Plus, I know I'm a Christian, but honestly, I'm a little ashamed to admit it, but I really have no desire to visit Israel, thank you very much. I know, walk where Jesus walked, and all that. Really, it has no pull for me. And as cool as Machu Picchu is to look at online, I'll pass on visiting in person, thanks. I'll stick to Discovery Channel shows, thanks.

Well, I was also going to segue into other stuff tonight, but I think it would make more sense to close it here, and then open it up for comments. So, where would you like to travel to, eh?