Navigating minefields. I think I can safely add that to my List Of Things I Cannot Do Well.
Not literal minefields, of course... wouldn't take too many failures to bring a swift end to that hobby (although it does remind me of a certain monologue of which I am quite fond). Figurative minefields, however... when it comes to those, apparently I know no fear. I'll just stride out into them as though I have good sense. Which likely means it's less an issue of fearlessness as it is a demonstration of questionable intelligence.
Of course, I'd love to go into detail about the multiple minefields I've lost figurative limbs to this week alone, but alas, the wounds are a bit too fresh, the explosions still ringing in my ears, the dust still settling.
Let's just say the teeter-totter of life continues to dole out its ups and down. At the moment, my self confidence is zero.
Only one thing to do! Well, actually, there are many things to do. But first on my list is (apparently) to update my blog with rambling vagueries. Alas, it is more an exercise in self-therapy than an effort to coherently entertain and/or enlighten you, at the moment. I've been bottomed-out before, many times. I have a cot set up here and everything.
The next thing to do is to go the heck to sleep and hope that tomorrow is a better day than today. I try to take the edge off by reminding myself that, overall, my life is terrific, and these small foxes are more pests than plagues. One of the benefits of being a person prone to mood shifts: tomorrow is likely to be better.
In the interim, I have to get my ramble on! And this ghost town-of-a-blog is my domain, so pardon me as I haunt it for a while...
Ahh, there we go! The sweet aroma of empty platitudes! What a rush!
So there's this juggler, and he's frantically-yet-skillfully keeping a half-dozen balls in the air. It was impressive to watch until, quite suddenly, he just stopped, and all of the balls cascaded to the floor and rolled to a stop around his feet. He stood there, slump-shouldered and a bit dazed. When asked what happened, he said, "Well, I was going along fine, when I asked myself, 'Why am I doing this?' I had no answer."
OK, so there's updating the blog and getting a good night's sleep. What else? Well, Minecraft is one of my go-to's, but it isn't working. I mean, the game is working, in that I can play it, but the usual "fix" isn't there. Neither is it there for Fallout 3, Grim Dawn or Left 4 Dead 2. Trust me, I've tried them all tonight. Plus a new game I got recently, with the rather unorthodox and unappealing name of "Vermintide". Good game, as are all of the titles I mentioned. But nope.
I think it's because, as entertaining as these (and other) games are, the sense of accomplishment they produce is, ultimately, empty and without substance. When bottom-dwelling is on the agenda, emptiness doesn't cut it. It's like starving and only having cotton candy to eat.
So there's this juggler who's eating cotton candy, see, and...
So, game playing isn't working. How about writing? Blog writing, yes. Hence, this post. Fiction writing? Screenplay writing? The sense of accomplishment that accompanies those activities is substantive indeed. However, everything I write in both realms wrings some juice out of me. That's part of the cost, like a gadget using battery power to operate. Right now, my batteries are dead. Trying to wring a few drops out of me when I'm a dry rag is only a recipe for frustration.
There's always food. That can usually take the edge off. But eating at midnight always summons my old friend, acid reflux. That would be counter-productive to a good night's sleep.
There's a story behind this next picture...
Apparently, this kid idolized the garbage men that serviced his neighborhood. He always got sooo excited when they came by. He and his mom would go out and watch them, and he'd be all wide-eyed and happy, waving to them, cheering them on. Well, apparently, one week, they stopped near his house and called him over, giving him a toy garbage truck and posing for a photo with him. This photo. The kid was so overwhelmed with emotion, he couldn't believe it.
There are some great people in the world.
Hey, you know what? That photo kind of worked! I'm feeling a bit better.
Plus, I'm done writing this post, which also has had a positive effect.
Next stop, bed. Or rather, the cot.
Adios from the minefield.
Dave the Juggler