Monday, March 3, 2014

Drop the Chief!


March is here!!! Yay!

You know what that means!!! OK, everyone, stand up. Form a line. We're going to march around the blog facility. Come on, I've decorated the place nicely, let's take a look! I mean, when was the last time you saw all of the rooms in here? I mean, yeah, you've seen the entryway, pictured above (Obviously you've seen it! It's the only entrance... other than the 17 emergency exits and the fireman pole to the Secret Dave Cave...), and you've seen the auditorium here, and the grand ballroom... some of you have seen some of the side rooms, where I keep the cool photos, like this...

I'm so sick of love...

And my always-popular "funny animal - slash - obscure movie reference" pics, like this one...

Points if you guess the movie...

And of course, there's the Landscape Gallery, where I post cool lanscapey shots like this...

Hmm... a little too black-and-white.... Contrary to what "they" say, things are not always so black and white!!!!1!

Or this one...

Gah!!! My eyes! The green! Make it stop!!!!1!

OK, forget the landscapey shots...

Come on, y'all, March in here for a minute... this is where I keep my funny videos... of course, my humor routinely trends toward the juvenile... but I also appreciate a great story-teller... occasionally, these two elements meet to form a perfect storm of entertainment...

I give you, Olan Rogers... NOTE: Please PLEASE don't stop watching after the lame "compact neighborhood" joke at 0:17... Keep watching! Trust me... this, you will love.



If you liked that one (which means pretty much all of you!), then watch Ghost in the Stalls as well... always a classic...

And here's a video of an "extreme sport" that, for the life of me, I cannot understand why I'd never contemplated before...



Why? Why have I never even fathomed "extreme ice skating" before? Now it seems so obvious!

OK, fine, so you didn't like the videos... well, let's see what's in this room over here?

Whoops! Nothing to see here!

Hmm... ok, well, let's see what's in this closet over here..?

Gah! I forgot about the birds in here! Oh, crap!

Let's see... there's the massive Arcade Room, full of vintage coin-operated videogames from back in the day (there's an air-hockey table in there, but I lost all the pucks, so I use a urinal cake instead).... there's the parking garage, full of my obscenely-expensive supercars (McLaren MP4-12C for the win!).... there's the indoor roller-coaster (Minecraft-themed, of course)... there's the Starbucks, of course (every blog needs its own Starbucks)... Hmm... there's my Dirty Sock Room, but you don't want to see that (trust me - it stinks in there)...

And I can't show you my Treasure Room.... you are unworthy.... although it can't quite compare to the US Army's treasure room... still, my Treasure Room is impressive... I mean, for a room full of boxes of beef jerky and cases of Red Bull.... whoops! Wasn't supposed to let that info out! Now I'll have to torture you until you forget I said it...

Fortunately, I've researched the more effective methods of torture from the Boy Scouts Manual...



MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

OK, fine, Blog Tour is over. Stop marching and sit back down in your seats...

Wait! Where are you all going!

NOOO! Come back!!!

Fine... Come back next week! Or I'll drop the chief!

Adios for now,

Dave the Goof

4 comments:

Michelle said...

Classic David...
Love the Olan Rogers clip. Hope all is well!

David Wagner said...

Michelle! Haven't talked to you in forever!

Yep, all is well, I'd say. Hope you and your family is doing well also. Then we can form a club! Those That Are Doing Well...

Take care...

Michelle said...

One more comment....I downloaded the Night of Cake and Puppets that you talked about in the last blog post and I loved it! I would have never found that myself, and it was a steal at 2.99. Five stars for sure from me. And how can you not like a book that uses the phrase "lipless dinkmonkeys"?

Thanks! Hope you and all the girls are well.

David Wagner said...

Excellent, I'm glad you liked it. I thought it was terrific as well. I have one of her other titles on my Amazon Wishlist... I'm keeping an eye on it in case the price drops... then I'll scoop it up!

I guess I'm getting sappy in my old age...