Horseshoe Clichés, Embarrassing Anecdotes and Still More Book Nonsense.

Ah, I'm a sucker for a good shot of Horseshoe Bend. Yes, I know how clichéd it is... go Google Horseshoe Bend with Google Images and see the jillions of pictures that come up! Still, I like this one. What can I say? I'm lame like that...

So, yeah, it's Monday, and I'm fartin' around after work, as is my custom. Lately it's been more workin' and less fartin' around, but still, I think I maintain a good balance. I have to, for my sanity's sake. I'm sure you can relate.

Better drop a cool video in here. Hang on a sec., lemme track it down...



Very creative. Must be tedious to make, but the results are pretty cool. They have other videos, too, if you want to check out their website. It's a very cool site...

So, I've been working on my fantasy novel lately, and I'm super stoked about it. In fact, I'm going to work on it more before I go to bed tonight as well. I've been working with that Celtx project manager software I mentioned in a previous post, and it is very cool. It's very helpful in plotting out where to take the storylines I have going, so I'm getting a better idea of the Big Picture. The part I'm looking forward to the most is the rewriting process. I used to kid myself into thinking my first draft stuff was pretty good. I can't wait to have a finished first draft (at least of part One) and then start to experiment, and make it shine. Fun fun fun.

Here's a funny FB convo where a girl admits she got stuck on an escalator...

That might take the cake. I wonder if it's legit? That's like the person trying to get into her convertible automobile, but can't because the electronic key fob isn't working. And she's panicking because it's starting to rain and the top is down...

I heard another story where the fire department was called to a grocery store to help a woman who was trapped in her station wagon. Oh, this is good, hang on, lemme tell it. So,a woman goes grocery shopping on a hot day, and while she was shopping, it got very hot inside her car. So she puts her groceries in the back of her station wagon, gets behind the wheel, locks the car, and goes to start her car to drive away. The heat inside the car affects a canister of frozen biscuit dough she bought, and the end cap pops off with a loud(ish) bang!, hitting her in the back of the head, leaving a little glob of frozen dough in her hair. She yells out in surprise, and grabs the back of her head, feeling the glob of dough there, and thinks that she's been shot! And that she's touching a part of her brain (rather than dough)! She holds both hands to the back of her head, holding her brains in, and goes hysterical. People rush to check on her, and her doors are locked... and she won't take her hands away to unlock the door, since she needs her hands to hold her brain in her head. She passes out. The paramedics are called, they arrive, break into her car, check her out, and of course, she's ok.

And likely very embarrassed.

That really happened! I kid you not!

I did. I Lol'd. I really did.

OK, here's another story that you might find amusing - it happened to me today. When I'm done telling it, I will likely be very embarrassed, but I'm going to tell it anyway...

So I got to work this morning, and was hoping to grab a quick bite to eat at the nearby deli before heading out on the truck for the day. But Yanni needed help scanning his homework and making it into a PDF to email to his teacher, so I helped him instead, and tried not to grumble about it. But I was frustrated. So I'm standing at my desk (because I was too frustrated to sit!), assembling the scanned pages, and I felt a nice, large fart slide into the chamber (so to speak). I decided I was just angry enough to fire it off. So Yanni was there, and my mom was nearby, in her office -- I would let them share my wrath! Ready to fire! I glance over my right shoulder, to make sure Leslie wasn't nearby (she's another person who works at the shop), didn't see her, and decided to fire off an epic blast. As I fired it off (it was MUCH louder than I'd expected) I glanced over my left shoulder to catch my mother's response... and there was Leslie. She had entered the area when I had my back turned, and was standing behind me, in my blind spot, when I had glanced over earlier. So I blasted off MUCH louder than I had anticipated, and there she was. Standing there right in the firing zone.

Needless to say, she was shocked, as was my mom. Yanni was amazed. And I stood there, thinking, "OK, how can I spin this?" I couldn't spin it. It was what it was. I just nodded, and said, "That's what I'm talking about." Everyone laughed. Hard. Leslie said, "Gee, Dave, don't hold back on my account." OMG it was soooo funny, I haven't laughed that hard in forever. I'm laughing again as I type this. It was quite embarrassing, as well. You know, there are certain people it's ok to let wind fly around, and most other people, you pretend it never happens. Well, I just happen to enjoy my gas -- still, I try to be aware of who I share it with (lol). This was just one of those times when it backfired (pun intended).

Yeah, I know. I'm 30 years out of grade school, and I still find passing wind amusing. Forgive me. I take laughs where I can find them...

I'm in a bit of a lull between books at the moment. I'm making slow progress on three different books, as I hesitate to dive into another behemoth again. I'm tinkering with The Hammer (KJ Parker), which, frankly, is a bit dull. And In the Shadow of Swords (Val Gunn), which I finally was able to get onto my iPad (Thanks Vye!), and I'm teasing myself with little bits of A Game of Thrones (GMMR), hesitant to let it it get its hooks into me -- I know once it snares me again, it will be about 5,000 pages until it lets me go (including the forthcoming Book 5). And I have The Way of Kings (B Sanderson) taunting me from my shelf nearby as well...

I'm kind of amazed at how prolific Brandon Sanderson is. How he cranks out as many titles as he does is beyond me. I think I might have rested on my accomplishments after the Mistborn Trilogy, but he was just getting warmed up at that point. He's released Warbreaker, two Wheel of Time behemoths, and the first volume in his Stormlight Archive. And he just announced another Mistborn book to be coming out in the Fall of this year. That is a metric Ton of quality writing, released in a remarkably short period of time, with no signs of stopping. It's inspiring and frightening, at the same time!

Well, I think I'm going to call this post done. I'll gather more nonsense and hit you again in a few days.

Adios.

Dave the Gassy