Resurrect 'Em? Darn Near Killed 'Em! :D buahahaha!!!!

Well, well, well... I see you're back again...

No, I mean I see your back again... cover it up already! You think I want to see your back? Sheesh! Have some modesty, for Pete's sake!

Yes... I bought another book today... Wait, let me explain! I took Wifey to the bookstore to buy her an armload of books for her birthday, but she only wanted three... so I had to find one for myself, see... you understand, right? Right? Come on, get my back here, will ya? Just keep your back covered, alright?

What book did I buy, eh?

This one...

I always hear this guy's name mentioned, when people talk about the masters of Fantasy writing, and I've never read anything by Gemmell before, so I thought I'd add this one. Apparently, it's the first in a long series of interrelated books called The Drenai Saga. It was first published in 1984, so I expect the characters to have big hair, bad clothes and reference John Hughes movies...

Actually, the hero is called Druss, and is apparently one of the classic characters in the Fantasy world. I look forward to making his acquaintance! You know, eventually... no telling when I'll eventually get around to reading it. Maybe next, maybe never... you know me, I'm nothing if not flighty.

Also on my list of famous authors I have yet to try is Neil Gaiman, Terry Goodkind, Isaac Asimov, Raymond Feist and Robert Jordan. Among others, of course.

I almost bought this book today as well, but I restrained myself. It's called (coincidentally enough) Legends: Stories by the Masters of Modern Fantasy. In case you can't figure it out by the title, it's a collection of stories  by the heavyweights of Fantasy, including Stephen King, Robert Jordan, Terry Pratchett, Terry Goodkind, Orson Scott Card, Ursula Le Guin, Tad Williams, GRR Martin, Anne McCaffrey and Raymond Feist. I may pick it up at some point in the future, but for now, common sense prevailed and I passed. I have more than enough to read already. I should have known better than to go to the book store...

Yeah, I know... bad pun... sorry, it's in my blood...

I wish I had a funny video to show you tonight... but I don't... HOWEVER, what I DO have is the Gutbuster of the Day from This Is Why You're Fat... and this one might be the gutbuster to end all gutbusters...

The Melt Challenge: A 5-pound grilled cheese sandwich, using 13 different cheeses, 3 layers of bread, served with fries and slaw. If you eat the whole thing, your reward is death. Which will probably be welcome. I'd like to see Adam Richman (Man v Food) try to eat that one.

Then again, maybe I wouldn't like to see him try it...

So I watched a couple movies recently. Here are my reviews.

The Crying Game
-------------------
Every now and then, for whatever reason, I'll read or see something online about a film, and then pop it into my NetFlix queue. Then I forget about them, until they randomly appear in the mail. Not sure what I read about this little film that caused me to queue it... must have been the 6 Oscar Nominations it got, back in 1992. Anyway, if you've seen this, you know where the review is headed, and can skip it. If you haven't seen it before, I doubt you ever will, so you won't mind if I spoil it for you...

Bottom line: OMG, the chick is really a dude.

Man falls for chick, then quite shockingly discovers she's really a dude, and decides (after throwing up) that he loves him/her/it anyway. That's the synopsis. There's more to it than that, of course, but that's all you need to know. 2.5 stars for having the balls to run with that gimmick (pun intended).

The other movie I saw was called Identity...

Identity
-----------
I think John Cusack has slowly, quietly cemented himself on my short list of Favorite Actors. There's just something about the way he exists inside roles that makes him a joy (for me) to watch. Except for Being John Malkovich, which I couldn't get through. (lol, I hear you now... "You could get through Crying Game, and you can't get through Being John Malkovich?") With all due respect to Cusack, in that case, it might have been the script rather than his performance... awful movie, that one...

But back to Identity... it's a thriller from 2003 which might be worth a viewing for you, if you don't mind suspense and some R Rated language. The synopsis is: a group of random people are stranded in the middle of the desert in a torrential downpour, at a run-down motel. Due to circumstances that I cannot reveal without spoiling the film (in case you want to see it) they start getting killed, one by one. It's very Hitchcockian. Or is it "Hitchcockesque"?

The chemistry between Liotta and Cusack is great, the rest of the cast holding their own as well. The ending is a bit corny and forced, but it was (for me) easily forgivable. Of course, my favorite Cusack film is Grosse Point Blank, by far... but this one is up there. 4 out of 5 stars.

In lieu of a Funny Video, I'm going to post a last Funny Picture and call it a night. It will require a little reading...

Well, there goes Father of the Year... better luck next year, bro...

I guess that's that for now. I have other stuff I'm cooking on that isn't ready to share yet... I'll post again soon.

Thanks for dropping by! And for covering up your back...

"I Don't Care to Belong to a Club that Accepts People Like Me as Members." - Groucho Marx

Greetings one and all!

(Here's the part where I pretend hundreds of people read this blog regularly... ready?)

So glad all of you could pop in to read today's blast of hot air! I'm also glad I moved this blog to such a large server, to accommodate all of you, my adoring fans! As you can see, I've had the rows of seats in the back raised up, so that all of you could have a good view, and not have to crane your necks, and lean to one side, to see past the head of the inconsiderate person in front of you... man, why do you always seem to get stuck sitting behind the person who decides it's ok to stand on his/her seat, trying to catch a glimpse of me? Sheesh!

Well, such is the nature of the great teeming, screaming mob of fans that congregate here every day. I don't even update every day anymore! Sheesh!

Oh, well. Just remember to stop by the concession stands on your way out. All Dave-related merchandise is 20% off today.

First, take a look at this...



I don't know that I could live in a cram-packed teeming metropolis like Hong Kong... but if I could have a pad like that, I might be able to manage...

I got a lot of work done today - and fired off an invoice. I gots ta get paid! Then I can buy everyone lots of gifts. Gotta make sure all of you are happy... just email me with your shoe size (if female) or the type of RAM your computer needs (if a guy), and I'll hook you up...

I'm almost finished with that Warriors collection of short stories and novellas. It has taken tremendous self-control and discipline to keep from skipping directly to the back to read GRRM's Dunk & Egg story. I'm forcing myself to read everything up to that point. Most of the offerings are well-enough written. A couple are memorable, the rest rather forgettable. One in particular puzzled me... I think I'll write a mini-review of that piece here. It WILL contain spoilers, so if you ever plan on reading this collection, skip down to the White Ninja comic and keep going... otherwise, laugh with me at the utter bizarreness of Out of the Dark, by David Weber.

Apparently, David Weber is the preeminent author of military science fiction - a genre which I know exactly nothing about (well, except for Ender's Game... does that count?). All I needed to know was it was sci-fi, and I was ready to skip it. Sci-fi is not my thing, never has been. Not sure why. It's one of those conundrums of life; that a guy who digs fantasy so much has next to no love for it's ugly fraternal twin sister, sci-fi. In any case, I persevered past the opening pages, where it was established that an alien race of dog-like warriors, part of a galactic confederacy, was pulling out of hyperdrive on the outskirts of our very galaxy, here to investigate and subjugate the lifeforms (read: humans), who they were erroneously told were a Level 5 species. In other words, way down on the evolutionary chain.

Imagine their surprise when it was quickly established that we were actually a Level Two species, far more advanced than any of the members of the Hegemony Council were aware of. This puts the dog-like aliens in a strange situation. They'd come a looong way in cryogenic sleep to this under-explored neck of the galaxy to subjugate it, and barely got permission from the Council to do it, with a Level Five planet. They still knew they could conquer us, but if they proceeded as planned, they would have to do it knowing they'd get in big trouble when it comes out that a Level Two species was conquered. Level Two species apparently qualified for direct membership in the Galactic Empire.

Meanwhile, down on the unsuspecting earth, various human soldier-types are introduced, going about their business...

So the aliens invade, nuke a bunch of cities, and establish their dominance over us, killing about a third of the population. To their alien mindset and society, it is understood that once one side of a conflict establishes superiority, the other side automatically capitulates and surrenders. That was the plan - to kick the humans in the teeth, establish dominance, accept the human surrender, and begin the process of enslaving and training them to become useful servants.

Of course, they grossly underestimate humanity, and our "never give in, to death" nature. The aliens land and begin taking over... and we regroup and begin to kick their butts. They can't comprehend why we won't just surrender. They inflict further heavy losses on us, but we eventually whittle down their numbers, inflicting likewise great losses (percentagewise) on them. They can't call in more troops, being isolated in this part of the galaxy...

Sounds like a great story, right? And for the most part, it really is a great story. Until the last pages...

An American serviceman is stranded in Romania (long story) and is mixed with a large group of Romanian fighters and civilians. In charge of the large group is a Romanian special forces-type and his small core group of fellow super-fighters, who excel at the forest-based guerrilla warfare that is proving so successful against the alien invasion. While this Romanian guy is away investigating a nearby alien base, the aliens attack the group he is protecting, and kill most of them. Now he's pissed.

At this point, it turns into a supernatural thriller, where the alien bases all begin to be annihilated, without warning, by unseen forces that leave no survivors. The ships above earth instigate an emergency extractions of all forces, finally deciding to leave and blow earth up on the way out of the galaxy. The Romanian superguy hitches a ride on one of the transports, infiltrates the mothership, and kills all the key aliens, but not before revealing his true identity...

Wait for it... he is Count Dracula! And he is really an Alien spy that was sent to earth many centuries ago! Count Dracula and his band of vampire/Green Berets save the earth! Yay!

I went from being pleasantly surprised by the cool "humans vs aliens" story, to nearly ripping the pages out of the book and setting them on fire. Literary immolation as punishment for being so unbelievably retarded. Count Dracula? Are you kidding me? Mr. Weber, you are a wiener.

Oh, here's that White Ninja comic, so those who skipped the review can join back in...

Yes... yes, I know... White Ninja is the greatest comic of all time... I know...

OK, one more video and I'm out. If your computer/internet connection can handle it, I recommend watching the next one full-screen 1080...



Leave it to the good folks in Dubai to upstage the Bellagio in Vegas, producing an amazing water fountain/light type thingy.

Went out to dinner for Eldest Daughter's birthday last night. She is officially 20 years old now! O_O We ate at Outback... and I made good on my promise to eat a steak. I had a teriyaki-glazed 14oz rib eye. It was delightful. Steamed veggies, soup and ice water rounded out the meal. Gee, I'm so healthy! Gee!

Well, I guess that's it for tonight! I trust your week is a good one thus far. May it only get better from here!

Adios

Dave

PS By the way, both of tonight's videos came from a cool catch-all blog called Have You Seen This?

A Large, Swirling Maelstrom of Odds and Ends

This could well be the most amazing picture I've ever posted on my blog... it's supposed to be that volcano in Iceland...

Greetings!

As promised, here are a bunch of random pics and videos that I found interesting lately. I thought I'd share them with you! Don't you feel special? Well, if you don't, then you should! So there!

First, this could well be the greatest prank ever pulled. This is from a couple years back. So, before the World Cup, a guy in the Netherlands drove around to popular bars, bringing with him a bunch of remote controls, testing to see if any of them would effect the TV's in the bar, taking notes of which ones worked on which TV's. Then, on the day of the big World Cup game that Holland was competing in, he went around to the packed bars, with all the people into the game, and waited for a tense moment... and then switched off the set... HILARIOUS.



OMG, that guy was playing with fire. Loved it.

Check out this amazing collapsible bookshelf! Quick, someone show Peter!

So I'm officially in the planning stages of the LAN party for May 14th overnight to May 15th. Yep, 24 hours of gaming goodness! Right now, the guest list is a dozen people long... who knows if everyone will be able to show up or not, we'll see. And if I can get Rockband and a few other console games for the non-PC gamers, perhaps there will be even more people that can come... I'm going to get lots of great food and refreshments, throw the doors open, and just have a blast. We'll get a bunch of games going, and hopefully make it a party to remember...

Time for another video...

Dang, this guy should win a Nobel Prize or something for this invention. I wonder when it will become a reality. Or if it will be bought and buried...



Amazing that he could do all that using water...

And now, the funniest thing I've seen all day...

Yeah, I know... I'm a man that's easily amused... or is it "a man who's easily amused"? O, whatever. You get the idea.

I've decided to buy a web notebook computer like my daughters have. Here's my reasoning. For some reason, when I'm on this desktop machine, I have WAAYY too many options, as far as things to do, so writing new material on my novel(s) slips and bumps down the list, usually hanging in about the #4 or 5 position, until bedtime. I have work to do, web to surf, games to play, funny videos to watch, Facebook Scrabble to play, etc. Ironically, when 1:45 to 2:00 am rolls around and I'm ready for bed, I set up my sleeping quarters on the living room couch, grab the book I'm reading of late, and settle in for some reading time. INVARIABLY, that's when I also get the itch to write. But my laptop is bulky and the battery is dead (so I have to plug it in) and it's awkward trying to balance it on my lap or my propped legs, and keep air circulating...

So last night, I snagged Middle Daughter's web book and fired it up instead of opening the book I'm reading, to see if writing on the web book worked. And it does! The battery life is super-long, so I don't have to plug it in. It's little so it's less awkward and doesn't get hot. And it's easy to type as I lay there on the couch with it resting in my lap, legs bent at 45 degrees. I could easily write for a half-hour each night, without distraction (since I will disable the web access) before switching it off and grabbing my book.

And they're only 300 bucks or so. Seems like a great solution.

OK, I'm going to post one last video. There's a guy on YouTube named Mr. Chi City who is a real character. I've never posted his videos on here before because he's usually pretty free with his language, but he really is funny and fun to watch. Well, I'm finally going to post a video of his, since it is free of any colorful language, and is really a heartwarming clip.

Pay no attention to how it starts! Skip ahead to about the 35 second mark to pass the confusing intro. Basically, he and his friend AC go around Chicago each year at Christmas, giving away Christmas cards with money in them to random people on the streets and in businesses. Man, I've always wanted to do stuff like this. It really is cool to see people's reactions to a random stranger giving them money and wishing them Merry Christmas...



One of Mr. Chi City's gimmicks is he never shows his face in his videos... like in the annoying intro, where you can't see his face - that's intentional. If you can handle the occasionally off-color language, check out a couple other of his videos. He's a character, all right...

OK, I'm done for now. Hope something in this post amused you. In fact...

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Dave

"If Evolution Really Works, How Come Mothers Only Have Two Hands?" - Milton Berle

Greetings everyone! Tis the weekend! Time for a little housekeeping and a blog round-up...

First, Had to take the Beatles Jukebox link off the list on the sidebar there, since YouTube finally suspended that account. Not sure what took them so long, but it was a great channel while it lasted. Every Remastered Beatles song in hi-def audio. Hope you got a chance to listen to a few while it was up.

I may overhaul my link list, as well as pop a new header up there soon. I won't change the theme, since I really like the "stretchy" theme I have up, that auto-adjusts the width to fit your monitor best, rather than locking the blog width to a certain size. If I can find a different "stretchy" theme, I may use it... Also, I'm up to 42 followers now! I'm world-famous! A blogging legend! Woohoo!

O_o

OK, fine, I'm still little ol' small-potatoes me. Still, it's nice to have more people dropping by now and then. Yanni, Chase and Dry! Hey, Dry, does that mean you started your own blog now? If so, let me know and I'll tell people to go read it! You'll get flooded with, maybe, 5 readers or something! Think of it!

Funny Picture time...

Hmm... that's the last Funny Picture I have in my archive. Better track down more soon...

OK, let's see who's doing what out there in Blogland...

• Logan audio-recorded himself reading a short monologue he wrote, and bravely posted it for everyone to hear. I think it turned out quite well.
• Rebecca has an interesting post on her blog about rejection (giving and receiving) which I think is worth reading.
• Over on The Crystal Perspective, Crystal is having her first ever book give-away - a romance novel called The Life of O'Reilly, by Brian Cohen. If that genre does something for you, drop by and register to win it! You can also read her review of it at her blog as well.
• Kristopher Denby is posting more interesting movie trailers on his blog, if movies are your thing. He also reviewed The Eyes of the Dragon, by Stephen King, if you want to check that out.
• I've been reading a very cool fantasy/sci-fi blog lately called The Wertzone, by an Englishman named Adam Whitehead. Check it out, if that's your thing. I first saw Adam on the Dance With Dragons forum over at Amazon, where he staunchly defends George RR Martin against legions of people who pop in to blast the author, and say that Martin is too fat/old/lazy to ever finish his series. Always good fun.
• The Writer over at The Writer's Notebook has finally broken down and started watching LOST, from the first season, and is reviewing them as he goes along. He has the first three seasons behind him and reviewed. If you still haven't watched LOST, you might want to pop over and see what he thinks of the seasons. His reviews are comprehensive and fun to read. He also has a review up of In Cold Blood, the classic by Truman Capote.
• Mattson Tomlin, our resident Movie Director, is rejoicing over hitting his fund-raising goal for a reshoot of his film Solomon Grundy. You can follow along as he makes his film, if getting a behind-the-scenes peek interests you (like it does me). 
• Peter over at Kyusi Reader has a great post up about a recent visit he took to the American Cemetery (he's in the Philipines) where American Soldiers are buried, that died during WW2. I suggest taking a peek at it when you get the chance, Very moving.
• Over on 1000 Awesome Things, they are on #520, which is When A Baby Falls Asleep On You. Agreed, that is very awesome. Hop over there and check out more Awesome Things. They've released their first Book of Awesome, if you want to buy it, eh!
• Of course, if books are your thing, you can pop in and see what these guys are all up to: Layers of Thought, Fantasy Book Critic, My World in Words and Pages (Hi Melissa!), Speculative Horizons, Fiction Addict, A Dribble of Ink, and Mad Hatter's Bookshelf and Book Review. 

So that's that. Did I forget anything? Someday, Paula and Havah will update their blogs again... *sigh*... someday...

Hey, nice waterfall, eh!

The good news is, I have plenty of work! The bad news is, I have to go do it. So I'll check back in with a normal post full of nonsense in the next day or so. Hope your weekends are great ones. Viva la Scrabble!

Dave

"I'd Rather Be a Failure at Something I Love than a Success at Something I Hate." - George Burns

Greetings, y'all!

Yep, I'm from the south. Hey, San Diego is in the south, sort of! Like, Southern California, or something... that's why I wear cut-off bib overalls to the beach...

I added a few more new books to my Shelfari widget over on the right... actually, at the moment, it's on the right and scrolled down a bit... got a couple more books, so I dropped them onto my "to be read" shelf. I took A Game of Thrones off the shelf, since I only put it on there because I was running low on books to read. Now I have tons! Tons, I say! After Warriors, I'll have these to choose from...

• The Books of the South, by Glen Cook
• The Ten Thousand, by Paul Kearney
• Shadowmarch, by Tad Williams
• Devices and Desires, by K.J. Parker
• Elantris, by Brandon Sanderson
• The Dragonbone Chair, by Tad Williams
• Storm Front, by Jim Butcher
• The Way of Shadows, by Brent Weeks
• The Folding Knife, by K.J. Parker
• The Red Wolf Conspiracy, by Robert Redick

Of course, all but Elantris are part of a series, so there's an outside chance I'll get so hooked on one novel that I'll postpone moving through the list while I continue a series. I hope I like Tad Williams - two of his titles are up there, both series starters. He had a short story in the Warriors collection, which was very unique. It was a sci-fi story with heavy religious overtones. A Christian super-assassin is sent from the "good" planet to the planet of the heathens, to execute their leader, who is in league with the Devil himself... as you can imagine, hilarity ensues. I won't spoil it for the one of you that might actually read the story (Logan!), but let's just say the moral of the story was a little questionable to me...

Did you know that even though Elantris is Brandon Sanderson's debut novel, it was actually the 8th novel he'd written? It took him seven complete (and completely different) attempts to produce a book good enough to get published! Dang! Actually, he has a new book coming soon called The Way of Kings, which is Book One in The Stormlight Archive... it's actually a rewrite of one of his previous novels, pre-Elantris.

All that to say, my shelves are replenished with goodies! Expect some reviews soon...

Sorry, Batman. The light saber is Vader's natural weapon, and he has the force. You just have gadgets. You are toast. Vader FTW!

So now that I'm off the 9-11 conspiracy bandwagon, I've been causing trouble on youtube, leaving antagonistic comments on the videos of the conspiracy believers... hey, it's human nature! There's no one harder on a drunk than a reformed alcoholic. A little good-natured ribbing is a good thing, now and then. Especially for some of the more outrageous conspiracy claims... I mean, I had questions and concerns, but nothing that far out there. You've got people out there that are convinced planes never hit the twin towers... that it was a hologram projection over the missiles that the government fired at the towers... how sci-fi can you get!? Seriously? A hologram beamed from space (or a C130 overhead)... insane. "Can a hologram generate loud engine noises?" I wonder into my soup. Can a missile blow a plane-shaped hole into a building?

There's another line of thought that says 9-11 was pulled off by the Israeli Mossad. Why? Well, because they're Jewish, and everyone knows that the Jews are responsible for everything! Good grief... world-class eye-roll material.

Then there's the Global Hawk UAV painted with the American Airlines colors that crashed into the Pentagon, while Flight 77 flew over the building and landed at nearby Ronald Reagan Airport. Wacky! O_O

I guess that's the equivalent of people with concerns over the discrepancies in the JFK assassination story being lumped in with the people who say JFK was abducted by aliens working for the mafia...

All that to say, I need something new to occupy my mind now. Pass the books!

How about some videos instead, eh, Precious?



Warning: Unfortunately, there are 2 mild expletives in that video! If the D word and the B word offend you, don't watch it! But it's funny...

OK, here's a cat that is freaked out by his own tail. The clip is funny, but 2 minutes is too long... you'll get the point right away...



That clip reminded me of the clip where the dog attacks his own foot... hold on, lemme go grab it...

Here we go...



Aw, yeah. Let's hear it for the crazy pets!

Well, plenty of other odds and ends, but I'll save it for another day.

Adios!

"The More Things You Do, the More You Can Do." - Lucille Ball

Good news! I found a series of YouTube videos that hit the 9-11 conspiracy stuff head-on in a way that is logical and straight-forward! I'm cured! Most of my big concerns about things have been systematically shown to be misconstrued and/or misunderstood. The conspiracy house of cards is tumbling, tumbling in my mind. I feel like a big weight is lifting. And I feel like a complete moron at the same time, for letting my mind be dragged down the rabbit hole like that... what happened that day is such a complex set of events - and really, each of us brings our own set of filters to our understanding of it.

It makes me wonder what else I believe in that is likewise off kilter. Kind of sobering. Never thought of myself as a nut-case before, really... it seemed to me I had a series of honest questions that I couldn't find acceptable answers for. Well, the answers are out there, if you know where to look. I found them! Sorry to anyone that arched an eyebrow over my wrestling with this issue...

Then again, for all you know, maybe the government is threatening me and my family if I don't publicly denounce the conspiracy! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I shall now defuse and deflect the conversation with a funny White Ninja comic...

Oh, come on... that's funny...

Thanks to everyone that left feedback on that scene sample I posted in the previous blog post. I think I'll tinker with the idea a bit more... I can always eliminate it in rewrites if I can't make it work. It seems like a gimmick rife with potential, but maybe I'm off base. We'll see...

I've started watching the self-defense DVD set I got a year or two ago with Wifey. Needless to say, the whole topic makes her very nervous - learning about the tool of violence, and when/how to use it. She has mixed feelings. She's so wracked with fear to begin with - she always dreads the idea of someone attacking her. So she knows this info will be useful. At the same time, she never wants to be put in a position where she'd have to jab her thumb in some guy's eye and make it pop out, lol. Well, neither do I - I could go my whole life without poppin some guy's eye out, or crushing his windpipe or destroying his knee/ankle... but if it's a life/death split-second decision, I'd rather have the knowledge and have the time afterwards to deal with the pros and cons than to be dead. It really is useful info to have, and they go on at length about having this skillset in no way means you'll ever have a chance to use it - and you certainly won't go out looking for it.

They compare it to knowing how to swim. You don't all the time go over in your head what happens if you suddenly need to swim... it's just something you know how to do, and if you ever find yourself dumped into water, you instinctively swim. It's a tool, filed away in case you need it. Otherwise, you'll likely drown. Likewise, being able to instinctively recognize an asocial situation, and immediately have the skills to interrupt and flip the situation around on your attacker, in the space of a couple seconds... it's a tool, filed away in case you ever need it.

Anyway, I'm glad we're finally watching it together. I remember how weird I felt after watching the series the first time. I went from always doubting whether I'd ever be able to handle myself in a dangerous situation (and the fear that accompanies that doubt) to knowing that if the moment arrived, I'd know at least a half-dozen quick, destructive actions I could take to neutralize the situation. The fear evaporated. I'm hoping the same happens for Wifey.

Had lunch with my mom today. There's a very real possibility that the rug shop will soon be sold. I think I'll wait until we're further along in the process to go into detail about it here, but let's just say it's an exciting time. I'm most pleased about the idea of my mom being able to transition into the type of work schedule and stress level that she's always striven for, instead of having to work like a dog nonstop like she has for years now. I really hope this works out.

Let me toss out a quick financial question to see if there's a consensus out there. If you had a largish lump of money and you could either stick it somewhere to earn a couple percentage points of interest, or pay off a debt that is likewise accumulating interest, which would you do? The large sum safely stuck somewhere slowly growing - while simultaneously making monthly payments on your debt... or paying off the debt, eliminating the future interest that debt would incur as you paid it off, while simultaneously eliminating any nest-egg. Future interest + accessible cash vs no debt + no accruing interest you would owe as it's being paid off over the next few years.

Does that make sense? I keep leaning one way then the other. What would you do?

If you want to read something great, here is an excerpt from an upcoming novel by author Brent Weeks... the book is called The Black Prism. The link takes you to a page where you can read the first three chapters. Even if you just read the first chapter, I think you'll enjoy it. The author had an acclaimed trilogy (The Night Angel Trilogy) that I've pondered picking up over the past year or so... it has been bumped up on my purchase list.

I'm about a third of the way through the Warriors collection. I'm tempted to do mini-reviews of the short stories that I've read thus far. [EDIT: No need to do the mini-reviews... someone beat me to it!] They are all so unique. At first, I thought they were all fantasy stories by fantasy authors, but they're not. They're all different genres and different style authors - the only thing that ties the stories together is the general concept of "the warrior". It's really a unique, interesting read. It's been a long time since I've read short stories. I've been doing novels and series for so long now, it's odd to finish a whole tale in one sitting, night after night.

I think I'm going to go get some work done. More stuff to chat about, but I think I've dumped enough on you for now. Hope your Sunday is a good one.

Dave

Pushing Past the Doldrums...

Man, 4 days since my last update. Sorry to the 1 or so of you that might care... I've sort of been in the literary doldrums lately... I pull up a New Post and I sit there, staring at the window where the text usually magically appears as I wiggle my fingers on the keyboard, and nothing happens.

So where to start? I'm resisting the STRONG urge to talk about 9-11 again. I know it's a touchy subject, and discussions of odd anomalies, strange coincidences, outright head-scratchers and hollywoodesque double-takes when it comes to the "official" explanation of what happened will most definitely rub some people the wrong way - and the last thing I want to do is offend any of my dear readers. Cuz then you'll punch me the next time you see me, and I'd rather avoid being punched if at all possible... still, I've been watching an unhealthy amount of videos and reading articles the past few days, both for and against the official story, and the avalanche of odd details has me in an uproar inside. I tried talking to Wifey about it, but she absolutely wants nothing to do with topic. I even laid a little bit of it on my mom today at work, and I could tell it was a mistake. If I went into it here, and started posting links to articles and embeds of videos, I'll likely turn off most (or all) of you as well.

So what to do with it all, pro and con, when I have no outlet?

Nothing, I guess. I'll just post something funny and move on.

Thats from the webcomic XKCD. Good stuff, but occasionally crude. So I won't link to it!

On a completely (and thankfully) unrelated topic, James Long over at Speculative Horizons had stirred up the hornet's nest by posting his thoughts on the David Gemmel Award (for the best in Fantasy/Sci-Fi), and has had a couple dozen people weigh in, both for and against, including a rather sizable blast by none other than the great Joe Abercrombie himself. Makes for good reading, both the original post and the comments. If that sort of thing interests you, go check it out!

I think I'm going to post an experimental scene from my fantasy novel. This may not make the final cut -- I was toying with the idea of "breaking the fourth wall" with my character in the book. As you all (might) know, my fantasy novel is peopled with tons of folks I actually know in real life - including myself. Yes, that is narcissistic, I get it... in fact, I'm wrestling with killing my character off, or even getting rid of him altogether. Yes, I'm hard on myself that way... if I can't find a good gimmick or reason to keep myself as a character, I'll ditch him/me.

That being said, I thought I'd try a scene where my character in the book has a conversation with me, the author. Tell me what you think... if it works as a gimmick, I'll set up an antagonistic relationship between "us" throughout the story. I have lots of amusing ideas already. But if it's too much, I'll forget it.

Anyway, the scene is a crowded tavern in a village (called 'Biggs') in a vast forest... the characters are Abbie, Vye, Yanni and myself...

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“What is it?” Abbie glanced at the stein that Vye set on the tavern table before her. 

“It’s ale,” Vye answered, sitting down in the chair beside her. “Drink it, it’s good for you.”

Abbie wrinkled her nose, lifted the stein and smelled it. Her wince did not dissipate. “I suppose a nice wine is out of the question?”

Vye just smiled and turned to take in the place, sighing with noticeable contentment. He was obviously comfortable here.

Abbie wondered if she looked as out-of-place as she felt. A tavern, of all places! What would her mother think? It was too loud, too dim, the sawdust on the floor was making her sneeze, and there were too many fellow patrons in need of a good bath. She wanted to chase everyone out and give the place a good scrubbing. 

Vye had convinced her to get out and try to unwind a bit. Dave was under guard at the village King’s Men outpost, as the law required, so Abbie agreed to tag along with Vye and Yanni to the tavern, if only to avoid having to sit alone in her rented room at the local inn. If the room at the inn hadn’t needed a cleaning as badly as this tavern did, she would have enjoyed time alone there. But it stank, so she was here.

“Where’s Yanni at?” Abbie held her breath and made herself take a sip of the ale. She set the stein back down, with the hope that the flavor would magically improve by the time she took the next sip. Vye bought the drink; she would feel bad wasting it.

Vye pointed across the room as he took a long pull of his own ale. Abbie looked where he was pointing and after a few moments spotted Yanni in the middle of a group of laughing tavern dwellers, his own stein held high, addressing the group with much animation. As she watched, Yanni snatched a hat off of a nearby head, put it on himself and continued the monologue, much to everyone’s delight.

“I see he’s on stage again, eh?” Abbie glanced at her drink again, shuddered, and left it be for now.

“I think getting some ale in him was a good idea. He’s in fine form.” 

“Well, at least he’s still clothed,” Abbie said, glancing around the place. More people were trickling in through the front door. The place wasn’t that big; it had to be reaching maximum capacity, she thought.

“So we have a plan for tomorrow, then?” She asked Vye, leaning forward, elbows on the table. Vye didn’t hear her over the crowd noise, so she tugged at his sleeve and repeated the question.

“I went over some maps with some King’s Men who know this area,” Vye said. “They showed me some back roads we can take to get to the Realmway quicker, so we don’t have to double back. Should save us a few hours and a few miles, they say. They gave me one of the maps.” Vye lifted the ale to his lips again.

“Good. I want to get this trip finished soonest.”

Along the far side of the tavern, a set of double doors led to a hallway that in turn led to restrooms and an exit. These doors opened and Dave poked his head into the room. He glanced around the teeming tavern for a few long moments before spotting Vye and Abbie sitting at their table, chatting. Dave waved toward them, saying something to himself. They didn’t notice; there were far too many people between them, obscuring their view. He waved again, same result.  His shoulders slumped.

He called something out as he waved a third time, but the noise was swallowed by the tavern din. He took a step into the room and called out louder.

“I’m not trying to signal them, idiot! I need to talk to you!” he shouted.

A thin, bearded man at a nearby table looked over at Dave, an eyebrow raised, pointing to himself.

Dave let out a growl of frustration. “No, not you, moron!” Waving again, this time looking up higher, toward the ceiling, he called out, “I need to talk to you! Hello! The man with the pen!”  Dave paused.

... Tell me you’re not trying to talk to me.

“Yes! Good lord, what do I have to do to get through to you?” Dave said, hands on his hips, glancing up.

You’re interrupting the narrative. And you’re supposed to be at the guard house.

Dave smiled and leaned against the wall. “Yeah, I know. I came to see if you could come over there next. I’m going to have a conversation with one of the guards that could develop my backstory a bit more.”

Are you kidding me? 

“No, I’m not. Come on, you can’t ignore me forever. I haven’t even had a POV chapter of my own yet!”

The bearded man from the nearby table walked over. “Hey. You ok, buddy?”

“O, get out of here,” Dave said, shoving the man away. Turning his eyes back up to the ceiling, he said, “Look, it’s too loud in here, lets duck into the hall for a second.” 

Dave left the main room and went into the hallway, passing a pair of patrons returning from the latrine. The double doors closed and he was alone in the hallway.

“Look, it’s your own fault for making yourself a character in this tale,” Dave said.

That doesn’t mean you can dictate the story. You need to get back to the guard house. Now.

“At least give me an idea if I’m going to make any kind of long-term impact on the story, or if I’m just a maguffin.”

At the end of the hall, a Witness appeared. Dave turned and made eye contact with it. “Oh, come on!” The Witness smiled and disappeared.

You have about 60 seconds before the guards come to get you.

“What a cheap trick,” Dave said, folding his arms and pouting like a little child. “Oh, very funny. I’m a child now, eh?”

Get back where you belong and don’t leave again. I’ll get to you when the time is right. If ever.

“You can’t make yourself a character in this tale and not do anything with him!” Dave strode down the hall toward the exit.

Sure I can. I can even kill you off if you do this again. I’m the Author, remember?

“We’ll talk again,” Dave said over his shoulder, leaving via the side door. He darted off into the city night, back toward the guard house.

Back in the tavern, Abbie sniffed at her cup again, and took another sip.

“Why do you do that?” Vye was watching her.

“Do what?”

“You keep smelling your ale before you drink it.”

Abbie paused and glanced into her pint. “I don’t know. It’s just something I do. Don’t you want to make sure what you’re about to drink doesn’t smell funny?”

“Nope,” Vye answered, taking a big pull of his own drink. “I’m too busy drinking it to worry about what it smells like.”

“I’m very sensitive to smells.” 

“You must love this place then.” Vye polished off his ale and stood. “Gonna grab another. Want anything while I’m up?”

“A clean, warm bed and about 14 hours undisturbed.”

Vye smiled. “How about a dish of salted pine nuts instead?”

Abbie stood and sighed. “I’m going to go back to the inn. Here.” She grabbed Vye’s empty stein, poured most of her ale into it, and handed it back.

“You want me to walk you back?” Vye asked.

She shook her head, patted Vye on the arm, turned and made for the door. It took a while, due to the press of flesh around her. As she reached the door, she turned and saw Vye grab an empty stool near Yanni. Vye looked toward the front door, spotted her and waved. She waved back, then left.

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Anyway, there's tons of stuff that happened before that, and tons that happen after it, but I thought I'd drop a little slice in here, to see what you think of the plot device. If you don't like it, let me know. No, I won't explain what Witnesses are... you'll have to read the book and find out! :P Oh, and the reference to Yanni still being clothed is because his character is kind of cracked, mentally, and has a tendency to randomly disrobe and go about his way naked...

I think I'll post a few pictures from artist Kekai Kotaki and then call it a night.

Check out his website, if you haven't. And his blog too, eh. Great stuff.

Adios

Dave

He Chose Our Inheritance For Us. (Psalm 47:4)

Well, hello there! No need to be timid, come on in, I won't bite ya...

Yeah, come in, have a seat. Can I get you a refreshing drink or something to snack? No? Well, that's common sense, I suppose... probably not wise to take food and/or drink from someone you don't know yet...

OK, well, what shall we cover tonight, eh? Feeling mellow? Yes? OK, cool, here, watch this... if your connection can handle it, click the "full screen" button, then select 720p and crank up your speakers. This is a slideshow of some Fantasy/Sci-Fi art from various artists, and it really is pretty amazing (and immersive, when in full screen).



Very cool. What say you? You likey? There's a couple more similar clips in that series, if you want more.

Too mellow? OK, well, how about a funny animal video or two?

Here is Standing Cat, the current viral rage...



Sorry about the music.

Here's a cat that's a bit more high-strung (and entertaining, methinks)...



Attack that roll! Destroy it! Good cat!

OK, well what now? How about a book review? I stayed up way too late last night finishing Hawkwood's Voyage, by Paul Kearney. It's Book 1 in the Monarchies of God series - which I found out today is 5 books long! Once the story got rolling, it really hooked me. I'm glad I stuck it out - I'll likely continue the series. In fact, he's releasing a two-volume omnibus edition I may grab, though that's kind of risky... it contains all 5 books... what if I don't like book 2, eh? Then I'm stuck! But the covers are cool, check them out...

Anyway, here's my review of the first book...

Hawkwood's Voyage: The Monarchies of God Book One by Paul Kearney: A Review
-----------------------------------------------------------------

I picked this book up in Christmas of 2008, along with several other series starter's, in hopes of finding a great author or two to tide me over until GRRM came out with his latest overdue installment of the Ice and Fire series. I started Hawkwood's Voyage last Spring, and didn't get too far into it before shrugging my shoulders and sticking it back up on the shelf, with other books that didn't do much for me. I really had no intention of ever picking it up again - it wasn't bad, it just didn't do anything for me. But I ran out of decent things to read last month, and couldn't afford to do any new book shopping, so I snatched it off of the shelf to give it another go. I'm glad I did.

This is a traditional epic fantasy starter, with some fairly standard archetypal characters. The weary soldier who somehow survives the siege of the unconquerable city by the innumerable evil hoard. The rogue mariner who gets caught up in an adventure against his will. The young monarch butting heads with the religious establishment. The evil emperor and his magic henchmen, bent on world domination. The mysterious, militaristic people that decide now is the time to come out of hiding and attempt to sway the course of history.

There are numerous other minor characters, all moved by their own personal brand of ambition, eager to move themselves up in life, and come out of the world-wide chaos not only surviving, but thriving. There are magicians and shape-shifters, corrupt religious leaders, soldiers and sailors, and plenty of death and blood for everyone. What makes this book different than most I've read is the heavy emphasis on sea travel. The author obviously knows a lot about sailing the open ocean, and conveys it well, especially in scenes where a lot of action is taking place on one of the boats. It would have been easy to lose the reader beneath an avalanche of sailing and boating terms and expressions, but Kearney does a great job of sounding casual while also making it pretty clear to laymen (like me) what he's talking about.

The other thing that makes it different is the near-absence of unnecessary profanity. I'm sure that's odd, coming from me - such a fan of both GRRM and Joe Abercrombie, whose books drip with foul language. But I've always been of the opinion that the language just isn't necessary in almost every instance.

Once the storylines are firmly set and rolling, as I said, the book is great fun to read. I did notice a few places where I skipped/skimmed over needless description (a pet peeve of mine), but there weren't that many.

The highlights for me included (of course) the battles, both on land and sea. I could do without the political intrigue and religious posturing, but I guess you can't have the battles without the politics.

Summary: 4/5 Took a while to build some steam, but I am now sufficiently hooked enough to warrant continuing the series.

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There, how's that? Hmm? Not personal enough? Well, ok... what would you like to know about me?

Well, in the past day or two, I've added more entertainment to my collection here in my office. I bought two more games to age on my shelf, bringing my current total of "Games I've Bought and Not Played Yet" to five. I added Call of Duty: World At War and Dead Space to my shelf, beside Rainbow Six Vegas 2, Assassin's Creed and Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway. No, I don't know why I do it. They were each really cheap, and were all games I've wanted a long time. For some reason, I get them home, look at the box, shrug my shoulders, smile, stick them on the shelf, and instead play one of the few games I always play. Lately, it's been Oblivion.

I bought another book - it's actually a collection of new fantasy fiction short stories called Warriors, which GRRM edited. That's in addition to the books I mentioned a post or two ago, so I'm set, as far as new books, for a while anyway.

And I bought a DVD copy of The Chronicles of Riddick, which I was surprised that I didn't already own. Great movie, even though I'm not much for Sci-Fi. It will always have a special place in my heart because of the scene where Vin Diesel uttered the elusive "triple pun" of "Like I said, Tooms... skiddish". Ah, you gotta love a triple pun...

OK, well, if there's nothing specific you want to know about me, I'll just end it here. Thanks again for dropping by.

Dave the Gump

He Makes Wars Cease to the Ends of the Earth. (Psalm 46:9)

Drifting, drifting inside... man, the highs and lows lately have been killers.

Where to start...

Watched A Serious Man last night. What an absolute waste of time. I kept waiting for it to get good, or at least have something to say. It was either WAY over my head, or it was an inside joke that the Coen Brothers decided to pull on the industry. With about 20 minutes left in the movie, the word USELESS formed in my head, and by the time the end credits rolled, it was set in stone. The movie was/is completely useless. Nominated for Best Picture? Yeah, I don't think so. I have now seen 6 of the 10 Best Picture nominees from March, and this one is a distant last place...

1. Up in the Air
2. Inglourious Basterds
3. Up
4. Avatar
5. Hurt Locker
6. A Serious Man

Haven't seen Precious, Blind Side, An Education or District 9 yet. When I do, my ranking list will be complete!

There have been a lot of Star Wars mash-up pics online lately - this one I saw today, and I have strong mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I take the Vietnam War Memorial very seriously, and anything that in any way makes light of it immediately gets my dander up. On the other hand, it can be said (with a loooong stretch) that all those stormtroopers that get pew-pewed to death in the Star Wars films were people, and thus were likely somebody's loved ones, in a galaxy far far away...

It also touches on the idea of who defines bad and good, as far as "good guys" and "bad guys". I'm sure in about every conflict, each side thinks they are the good (or at least justified) guys. World War 2 seemed such a black and white case of good versus evil... but I bet from the Axis' perspective, they didn't see themselves as evil, at least as far as the rank and file frontlines guys... I'm sure they all wished the war would end so they could go home, like everyone else.

I had an idea for a short piece of Fantasy fiction, whereby the same story is told from the perspective of the Hero and again from the perspective of the villain. I'm sure it's been done before, but I like the idea of each side believing he/she is in the right, and justified in his/her course of action, and portrays the actions of the other side as unreasonable (or evil, even...). There's a lot to play with there, I think...

All that to say, I saw the Star Wars pic up there and immediately had strong, conflicting feelings. It was funny, inappropriate, in bad taste, and moving, all at the same time. Weird.

On a completely unrelated note, check this out...

There's a teacher out there who attaches McDonald's applications to failed tests. Classic.

So Middle Daughter was given a netbook by my sister (her aunt Lisa) recently, and it has been the new toy in the house. Eldest Daughter made it known that she wished she could have one, so I took her out this afternoon to get her a new one as well. Now they both have one, and they are happy. Gone are the days of "Dad, can I get on your notebook computer for a while?" Now they both sit in different rooms and videochat with each other on Skype...

It's almost Eldest Daughter's birthday, so it was an early gift. She's turning 20. Dang. I'm old.

In honor of Robin Wright Penn's birthday on April 8, here is a scene from Princess Bride.



Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons.

Heading for the finish line on Hawkwood's Voyage. It has enough strong elements to warrant a full read-through, I'd say. The author writes with confidence and competence, in spades. I'll have a review up soon. Then I'll get to decide what to read next!

Next from Netflix is The Invention of Lying and Duplicity. If either of them are any good, I'll let you know! Ah, such are the services I provide for my vast blog-reading audience! You are welcome!

Dave

My Heart is Stirred by a Noble Theme. (Psalm 45:1)

Yeah, yeah, whatever... you're such a know-it-all! It makes me sick! Look at you, sittin' there all smug, thinking you know everything about me and what I did today... I bet you don't even know what I'm snacking on right now, at 11:30 at night! Do you! No, I didn't think so!

What? Yes, an apple danish. Whatever. Lucky guess... what, are you watching me through my webcam or something? That's a little creepy. Here, lemme turn it to face the other way, just in case.

There! I'm hidden now, you stalker. I showed you, eh? lol. How many fingers am I holding up, eh smarty pants?

Whatever, another lucky guess.

OK, so since you think you know everything, which books did I buy today? Oh, yeah, real hard... you just scrolled down and looked on my book shelf widget, didn't you? That was an easy one, especially for you, you cheater!

• Devices and Desires: The Engineer Trilogy Book 1 by K.J. Parker
• The Ten Thousand, by Paul Kearney
• Shadowmarch, by Tad Williams

Yes, three new fantasy novels. The Kearney one is a stand-alone, but the other two are series starters. What? Yes, I realize that Paul Kearney is the same guy that wrote the book I'm currently reading, Hawkwood's Voyage. Grr! Yes, I know that! I know Hawkwood's Voyage is the first book of a trilogy! Gee, ya think? No, apparently, I'm not enjoying it enough to think I'll read the rest of them. What makes me think I'll like The Ten Thousand then? I don't know... cool cover, I guess... what do you care!

Well, I bet you don't know what I'm going to post next... No, not a cat video! I'm going to post a Funny Dog Picture! :P

I tripped you up that time, didn't I? Hmm? Oh, right, like you knew I was going to change my mind... OK, fine, I was going to post a Maru video, you happy now? I admit it.



Well, I bet you don't know what movie I watched tonight. I'll give you a hint, it's a-- ... what? Come on, there's no way on earth you knew that... yes, I watched The Sting, with Paul Newman and Robert Redford. I bet you don't know the actor who played the guy they swindled, do you... yes, Robert Shaw. Sheesh. I bet you also know what role Shaw is most famous for too, right?

Yup, Cap'n Quint, in Jaws. Another classic. He also rocked it as Henry VIII in A Man for All Seasons, in 1966. But I think his turn in Jaws was most memorable. Didn't get nominated though... but Jaws was nominated for Best Picture. What? Oh, right, like you knew that already. I bet you know the movie that won Best Picture over Jaws that year too, right, Poindexter?

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is correct. You are, as they say, on a roll tonight...

Well, I suppose I'll just say the rest of what I need to anyways, even though you know it already...

• I also rented A Serious Man, which I will watch next, after I finish here.
• Cathy beat me soundly at Scrabble recently, setting the new single game high score record of 509 points (sorry, Abbie, she got you by 2 points).
• I'm still writing my novel - in fact, I came up with a cool new character and angle for the sequel trilogy, lol... 
• Katie has her friend Hannah over to spend the night tonight, and they are upstairs, giggling like the schoolgirls that they are.

What? No, I did not know it was Jackie Chan's birthday today. Fine, here's some guys' Top 10 Jackie Chan Stunts video that he edited together and stuck up on YouTube...



Dude, I am SOOO going to go right now, it's not even funny....

Dave