Polly Wanna Tractor?

Nice colors and vibe in that pic, methinks. I wonder why they made the trail wood planking instead of just leaving it dirt, eh? So horseback riders won't take the trail?

OK, so, there once was this guy named Dave, right? But he was so totally not me, ok? It was, like, another Dave or something... one that just looked a lot like me. Anyway, so he's going through a life lull, and nothing interesting is happening. This is a bummer, in a way, since he blogs a lot, and feels odd not having anything to say. This doesn't happen too often, but when it does, Dave will resort to desperate blogging measures, such as posting the latest Pooter video, like this one...



For some reason, this guy Dave doesn't realize that just because he thinks "fake public farts" are funny doesn't mean everyone else does as well. So he's a bit clueless like that.

But I think his taste in books is pretty good... when he can make up his mind what to read, that is. He's currently reading a YA Fantasy novel called Jaunten by a fantasy author with the oddest pseudonym I've heard of: "Honor Raconteur". Seriously? There's gotta be a story behind the choosing of that name to publish  under. I'm leaning towards "lost a bet"... anyway, this guy Dave is reading the book, even though he says it's pretty shallow, because he claims it has some really cool concepts and ideas underpinning the tale, which makes the light fare worth a quick read. Dave swears he'll have a review of it up soon, but you know how flighty he is. I mean, if he didn't write a review of Slaughterhouse Five, why would he write a YA Fantasy review?

And no, in case you were wondering, this guy Dave did not, in fact, start reading The Dragonbone Chair paperback, like he said he would. For some reason, he just can't seem to pick the paperback up and read the blasted thing - he's gotten as far as picking it up a few times, holding it, flipping through the pages, re-reading the blurb on the back... then tossing it back down on the desktop. He's just too into reading digital now, I guess. What a goob.

See what I mean about a lull? This is why this guy Dave (who is not me, I assure you), is bummed. No one wants to read fluff like that. Shall we pity him? I think not.

Too bad he doesn't have access to some funny pics, like I do. I mean, I'd lend him this one, if he asked...

That's pretty good, right? Or even this one...

I know this guy Dave likes puns, so he'd probably get a kick out of that one...

But, no, he won't ask me. He's too proud. Not like me. I'm humble, and I'm not afraid to admit it! Hey, why can't I be proud of my humility? But you'll never catch this other guy Dave being all humble like me... no, he thinks he's awesome...

Of course, not as awesome as the Black Diamond Jet Team... but not many people are...



Besides, this guy Dave (who is not me) is, like, totally addicted to playing Diablo 3, like he feared he would be. Here's the funny part... Diablo 3 has an auto-updater built into it, so when you go to play it, if there's a patch or a tweak of some kind that Blizzard wants to implement, it automatically patches the game before you can play it again. And today, they released a new patch... which broke his game, lol. Now every time Dave goes to play the game, it says he has corrupted files, and he should reinstall, lol. Ha ha, what a tool. Can't get your D3 fix today, eh Dave? Do you know where the Crimea River is? I think you do, my friend. I think you do...

He still got his daily coffee today though, I heard...

"Who" got his coffee today? I know "who"! Owl bet it was Dave! That's "who"!

So, yeah, this guy Dave is kinda flatlining lately, and his blog is suffering for it. But if I know him, he'll be back soon enough. Hopefully with some cool stuff to share with his audience. Of course, his readers aren't anywhere as cool as mine, but hey, you gotta start somewhere, right?

Adios for now,

Dave, friend of this other Dave

A Deeper Shade of Ambivalence...

Occasionally, I need to lead with a picture of Lake Moraine. Not too often, of course... but there's just something about that blue water and those peaks... very nice. Wanna try something fun? Google the phrase "lake moraine alberta canada" and click "images" and get your scroll on. There must be a zillion pics. Very photogenic place.

Wanna try something else fun?



Yeah, probably not that...

It's the weekend! Yay! Yes, I realize you know that.... I'm saying it for my benefit. I normally have next to no idea what day it is anymore. Hey, what can I say? I'm old. I mean, look at these shoes I'm wearing! That alone should tell you how addled and behind the times I am...

I found out today that I failed to cancel an automatic payment on a credit card that I had paid off. Have a nice little credit waiting for me! Free money! You know what that means... books and games! Yay! I suppose a more frugal gentleman would request a reimbursement check from the credit card company... but frugality has never been a personality characteristic of mine, unfortunately. I'd rather get a few books off my want list and call us even.

Yeah, like you needed to know all that. Sorry, sometimes free-association blogging yields boring fruit...

But at least you'll get to see a super-cool watercolor painting of Boba Fett...

There, now you can fully enjoy your holiday weekend. You're welcome.

Wanna try something else fun?



Run a hurdles race when you have not the skill! Man, he still finished fourth...

Come on, that's hilarious... admit it.

Ok, fine, at least admit that you speed on the freeway. And that you rarely floss. Admit that. And admit that you love stand-up comedy as much as I do...

Things I Like Most About Stand-Up Comedy:

• Accents: I love watching comedians who do accents well, especially the accents of their parents, or whatever country the performer comes from. I've always been a big fan of accents in the first place - I love to try them myself. They fascinate me. But I also love the comedy based on cultures that I'm not overly familiar with, since it gives me a glimpse into those cultures by way of what they think is funny. I love that. 

• Impressions: I admit it, I'm a sucker for a good impressionist. Probably an off-shoot of the accent thing. It's another thing I enjoy trying myself. In both cases (accents and impressions) I really have no idea how well I do them... and there's nothing worse than someone doing a bad impression or accent. 

• Puns/Wordplay: Intelligent, clever humor is always impressive to me. George Carlin, Dennis Miller, Dimitri Martin, etc. 

• Unique Topics: I really like it when I hear a comedian tread on conversational ground that is rarely traveled. It shows a certain daring and forethought that shows me dedication and respect, for both the art and the audience. If I have to hear one more bit about dating or marriage or raising kids, I may just tip over. 

Things I Hate Most About Stand-Up Comedy: 

• The Gutter: Sex jokes and needlessly profuse profanity are just lame, in my opinion. It just shows zero creativity to me to have to resort to that line of attack for cheap laughs.  

• Bland Observational Humor: I dig Seinfeld as much as the next guy, but man, how many riffs on going to the supermarket or flying on a plane do I need to sit through? OK, I get it... going to the doctor sucks. Whatever. Going home during the holidays sucks, gotcha.  

• Old Material: You make your living doing stand-up comedy! Is it too much to ask for you to come up with some new material every year or two? Do I have to watch the same routine yet again? Frank Caliendo is the worst at this. It was funny the first time, and still good the second time, and even the third time had a few lingering chuckles... move on! 

• Ventriloquists: Good grief, what a trainwreck. I have never seen what I would consider a good, funny ventriloquist. Ironically, it's another skill I have down quite good - I'll entertain my Sunday school class by teaching for a while without moving my mouth, they enjoy it, and I enjoy doing it. But, seriously... in Stand-Up? In front of a paying audience? Really? Just.... no. It's embarrassing.  

• Political Humor: I don't care which side of the political aisle the comedian sits on, political humor is lame. I think it truly is a topic where everything that can or should be said has already been said, and it rarely is funny. More often it's preachy. And the material gets dated very quickly, so watching it a year or more down the road is like watching an old video of the daily news from years ago.

That's some cool artwork there....

Hope your Memorial Day weekend is a good one. Heard some news that bummed me out on Thursday... that there have officially been more suicides among our troops who have returned from duty overseas than have died in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan combined. Breaks my heart. That's what I'll be thinking about on Memorial Day.


So I suppose that's enough bloggin' for now. Gonna go save the world from the demon scourge for a while.

Adios

Dave the Meanderer

Cue the Toy Piano Music...

I call this opening photo "When HDR Attacks!". The photographer is Pat Kavanagh. There... proper propers proffered.

If days had soundtracks and/or music playing in the background, then my past few days would be accompanied by the tinkling sounds of a toy piano. Just kinda weird, surreal, off-center, quirky... nothing major, just a bunch of little things... keeping me on my toes, and a bit off-balance...

...not unlike this brave (stupid?) soul.

Of course, part of the problem might be that I put The Dragonbone Chair on hold before even cracking the paperback open, so I could read Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. I can honestly say, I've never read a book like it before. I'm not sure a review will be possible, but I may give it a go. I'm tearing through it, it's a wonderful read, equal parts absurd, deep, heart-rending and hilarious, like the semi-coherent thoughts of a man who has endured incredible trauma and is on the edge of sanity. Quite amazing.

And I dove into Diablo 3 as well. A good, solid game, with far more positive attributes than negative. While I will withhold final analysis until I've dumped a couple dozen more hours into it, all things considered, I think I prefer Titan Quest and Torchlight a bit more. We'll see if that holds. I'm only in Act 2.

Here is something you've never heard/seen in your life. It is Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" performed by a full orchestra and a choir of 10,000 trained singers. Yes, 10,000. Put your headphones on, crank the volume, and feast your ears on this for a while...



I really hope this doesn't come across as uncool at all, but it seems incongruous to me for some reason, Japanese faces and trained opera voices. I have never put those two together before. Regardless, that was truly amazing to listen, if you stuck it out all 18 minutes, like I have (several times now).... if not, at least cut to 6:45 and get an earful.

So I've been making great progress on mapping out the storylines and character arcs for the fantasy novel I'm working on. The more I get things down on paper, the more excited I get. Frankly, I think the stories I want to tell are really very good. Of course, why wouldn't I think that? Once I get the notes more and more detailed, I hope to end up with a stack of index cards for each of the four main storylines, with each card containing a summary of a scene in the sequence. It is, if I may be so bold, extremely fun.

While I'm on the topic of writing, I've been contemplating what happens to writers who lose the use of their limbs, either through paralysis or dismemberment, etc. How to write if all I had access to was a speech recognition software? If I had to dictate it all through the spoken word, would the story and style be much different than if I hammer the text out on a keyboard? I'm half-tempted to try and write a short piece that way (or even a blog post or two), just to see if the sentence structure, word choice and presentation would be similar to typing, or radically different.

So, I was playing Battlefield 2 on my PC the other night, with Maggie watching me, and on a whim, I asked her to take over for me so I could run upstairs and talk to wifey about something. Maggie was stunned at the offer and jumped at the chance. I showed her the basic controls, and she put the headphones on and jumped in. Yes, she's six, I realize that! Still, I didn't think it was a big deal. In fact, when I got back, I fired up the iMac and launched BF2 on that system as well, and Maggie and I played together. We drove around in tanks and I let her blow me up a bunch of times. She loves the game. Therein lies the problem. It's all she wants to do now. She's hooked.

Not exactly my best moment, as far as parenting goes. She's always been into cars and transformers and blowing stuff up, so in a sense, it should be no surprise. But man, has she taken to the game. She's even flying the choppers around now, which is not easy...

Ah, well...

So my friend [name withheld] called me tonight to let me know that he won 13 grand on the slots at a local Indian casino. He said he was 800 ahead at the time, so man, did he rake it in tonight. I've been thinking, since he always seems to win at the slots, I should invest in him! Kick him a monthly stipend and let him go play it. I don't have the patience or the desire to do so myself, but hey, if he enjoys it and is good at it, I'll split whatever he wins with him!

Bah, I'd probably just waste the winnings at Starbucks anyway...

OK, I think that's it for now. Thanks for all of the input on the previous post. You are all awesome, every one of you. Say hello to your moms for me...

Dave the Off-Center

There's No Sense Like Nonsense...

Look at that fog rollin' in... great pic. Not sure what city that is, but it's kinda cool. I suppose I could tie it in somehow with my current mood, if I was feeling particularly clever... but I'll spare you the attempt.

Stats Talk:

OK, so I was looking at the built-in stats page for this here blog, and the data is strangely fascinating. Check this out...

I have 5 posts in this blog's history that are over 1,000 specific page views (#2, #3, #4, #5, #6)... that's where people pull up just the post, not the blog itself... and I have one post that has over 2,000... it has 2193 at this moment... and you'll never guess which one it is...

It's a post I made on Feb 22, 2011, and it was called Present Tense For the Tense Present, and I just riffed a while about hanging out at the mall, and weird people I saw, and different stores I wandered into. It was mostly fiction, obviously, because of the absurd nonsense I liberally injected into it... but there doesn't seem to be any logic behind people ending up there in such numbers. I mean, this week alone it had 42 specific, unique visitors. It's just a nonsense post, really.

Well, I dug a bit deeper into the ways people are coming to the site, and actually, I get most of my traffic from Google Image Search. I used a photo in that post of a Husky making a weird face...

... and another photo of a monorail cat...

... and apparently, these two photos bring a ton of people to that particular post. Isn't that odd? So people looking for funny animal pics are my main source of visitors. In fact, the top all-time search keyword that bring people here is the phrase "funny animal pictures"... the rest of the top five include: "twilight humor", "cat taco costume", "bacon flavored ice cream" and the direct URL to this blog. Lol, yep, the phrase "cat taco costume" has brought 168 people to this blog...

If you look at the sites that refer people here, most are Google sites from various countries, and one is Facebook. Beyond that, the only other interesting referral site is Mattson Tomlin's blog, believe it or not. Also in the top ten is a blog called "Confessions of a Compulsive Liar" by a lady named Meg... Here is her link, just so I can return the love I didn't know I was getting, lol... she hasn't updated in about 6 months... not sure why I'm getting so many referrals from her blog - it doesn't seem to get much activity...

Anyway... the month with the most page views all time is March of 2012, with April 2012 (the A-to-Z Challenge) coming in a very close second (5,866 in March, 5830 in April). And other than the US (easily first), the other countries that send the most eyes here are: UK, Canada, Germany, Australia, Netherlands and Russia.

So that was interesting to me today... I guess it makes sense that most of my traffic comes from image searches, since I use a bunch of them... and Lord knows, people don't come here for my dry wit, lol. 

Video Challenge of the Week:

OK, this week's challenge is... see how many of David Caruso's corny one-liners from the recently-cancelled CSI: Miami you can make it through before pulling your hair out and breaking your mouse... check your score afterwards...

Your Score:

0-1 minutes: Sorry, you're a pansy

1-2 minutes: Weak stomach, loose bowels

2-3 minutes: Not bad, don't be ashamed

3-4 minutes: An honorable breaking point, though you'll still have bad dreams tonight because of this

4-5 minutes: The patience of Job

5-6 minutes: Nerves of steel and a constitution of iron

6 min - end: You're either a die-hard fan or your brain froze. I'll notify the mortician.

Game Playing:

So I know you're dying to know what I've been up to lately, as far as gaming. Check this madness out. I bought Diablo 3, installed it on the 16th and haven't played it yet. I finally installed a game I bought last Thanksgiving called Batman: Arkham City, but haven't played it yet. Instead, I've been playing Battlefield 2 a lot, offline since when I attempt to go online with it, it crashes to desktop. I doubt you realize how odd that is, me playing a 7-year old online game "offline" while the most anticipated game of the past decade is on my computer, ignored, and I went to the trouble of downloading and installing a game I got half a year ago, and then promptly avoided it.

Oh, never mind... I better post some funny animal pictures, since that's what everyone wants anyway!

Would that be considered "specism"? Here, lemme grab another one...

"Pleeeeeaasseeee!!!!!!

Theology Corner: 

So we had an interesting discussion at the Wednesday night prayer meeting at Stan's last week... it is Stan's assertion that people are fundamentally driven by one of three things: emotion, intellect or will. Not that we only have one, but that in each of us, one of them will override the other two and dictate our behavior. It was an interesting discussion, because Stan was one type, I was another and my brother John was the third one, so we all kicked it around a while. 

For me, things have to make sense, or I'll drive myself crazy thinking about them (which is odd, for such a fan of absurdism, eh?). I tend to go with the logical choice even if my emotions are screaming for me to do something else... although I have to wonder about my gaming choices, as detailed above (Diablo/Batman/BF2). Nothing logical about that... maybe I'm full of crapola, eh? Maybe a better way to say it is that I prefer to think about stuff rather than actually do stuff... The idea of something being more appealing than the reality, perhaps. 

I suppose the will-driven person would decide what he or she was going to do and do it, whether it made sense or produced a desired emotional result or not. And the emotion-driven person would (I assume) float around almost on whim, based on how things were making him/her feel.

Of course, I may not have thought all three types through fully, which is why I'm mentioning it here... do you think those three types of personalities are right? Is there a fourth I don't know about? Are you one of those types? If so, which one? I suppose it ultimately doesn't matter, since regardless of the type of person we are, if we are a Christian, we need to learn to submit to God in our decision making anyway...

Do you think people *really* want to get to where they go to God with every decision? Or is that just something we say because it sounds good? Is it practical at all? OK, if you're a Christian, think about what you're doing right now... did you ask God if you could come read this? What if you did and He said "no", what would you have done? What about what you'll do after you leave here? Do we *really* want to ask God about everything? And more importantly, does He really want us to ask Him about everything? How on earth could one Entity "control" (for lack of a better word) so many zillions of people's every move... or even want to do such a thing? 

The whole thing makes my head hurt...

What the Heck Am I Reading?

Yay! I finally found a great book! I've been slogging my way through free book samples and false starts, looking for a good-to-great read, and I found it... it's called The Dragonbone Chair by Tad Williams, and it is really well done. He has such a fun style, quirky almost. I find myself smiling as I'm reading, which doesn't happen often. And here's the capper.... I bought the paperback a few years back, when I was just starting to read fantasy novels, and it's been on my bookshelf ever since... so after reading the free sample of it on my Kindle, I decided to grab it off the shelf to read it (instead of spending $10 on a digital copy), and as I held the paperback in my grubby little hands, I tried to remember the last time I actually read a physical book... I've been digital for so long... it must be over a year. I think Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell was the last physical book I read, back when I had jury duty in March of 2010. 

Actually, I just checked my book reviews page... I read The Red Wolf Conspiracy by RVS Reddick in June 2010. That was the last one.

Anyway, I'll review The Dragonbone Chair for sure, once I finish it... if I remember how to read a real book anymore, that is... 

So my sweet Oldest Daughter is getting married sooner that I anticipated. The glitch is that the branch of the Navy that her fiance Paul is going into will require certain security clearances and things, and thus the rules are much stricter than normal. They need to be married before he even signs up to join the Navy in the first place, otherwise he can't join that route... they must marry, and soon, if he's to sign and depart in September for boot camp, as planned. So, they are going to the court house on June 8 and they're gettin' hitched. Then he'll sign and get the ball rollin', and then we'll have a small ceremony in late August for immediate family and a few close friends, where they'll do the tux and dress and "i do" thing, with a pastor and flowers, etc. Extremely minimal. I'm torn about it, of course. She's my sweetie, and I wanted to give them a proper wedding at a big church, etc., but this is what they want to (need to?) do, and they're thrilled about it, so who am I to stand in the way? I wish them every happiness, of course.

I'll end this post with an Inspirational Video for you...

Wow. That's all I can say about that.

Well, another mellow, barely-interesting blog post coasts to a stop. If you made it this far, thank you from somewhere near the bottom of my heart, that sort of thing.

Have a great week.

Dave the Placid

Me, Myself and iPad...

Haloo! Haloo, I say! Surprise, it's Dave. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! I hacked into my own blog and I'm now posting without my permission! It wasn't hard to do, unsurprisingly... I mean, I knew the password had to be some variation of the word "TURD"... it only took me about a dozen tries and I was in like flynn. O, man, I'm going to be soooo pissed later when I find this post. I'll be like, "Hmm, well, I guess I should make a new blog post... lemme just check out--- HEY! What the heck! I've been hacked!"

BUAHAHAHAHA!!!! O, man, I so deserve it though... I mean, I'm such a spineless milquetoast, but I throw great fits. I doubt I'll want to actually fight me over it... but knowing how passive-aggressive I am, I'll probably come up with some sneaky way to get back at me.

Oh, well, it'll be worth it.

In any case, how is everyone, eh? Doing good, I hope? Hmm... not really sure how to do these blog things. Dave is always the one to do these, I don't. I'm a lover, not a writer. So let's see... lemme scroll through some of my recent posts and see how I do this... brb...

OK, well, it looks like the thing to do is whine about personal stuff that no one cares about, then post lame pics that I apparently think are funny, and then some sort of video. I guess I also talk about books I'm reading, as though anyone out there gives a crap or two about it. Wow, that's it? And you people pay to read this stuff? Dang. Hmm? Oh, it's free? Well, that makes more sense, then...

OK, so, personal stuff... Um... hmmm....

How about I hold off on the personal stuff and post a funny photo instead. Lemme see what I have socked away... hmm, where would I keep such things, I wonder?  Let's see... work stuff... boring... family pics... nope... gah! Nope, better not post that one, lol... hmm.... book cover art? Why would I have that? Ah, for book reviews.... hmm.... more nonsense.... ok, here we go, found my Funny Pic cache... How about this one...

Hmm... yeah, I guess I see the family resemblance. But not everyone digs Star Wars humor... lemme see what else I've got...

OK, another mash-up pic, this time LOTR. Can't go wrong with Boromir, true... Pretty funny, but still too nerdy, I think. Lemme try again...

Buahahaha! I get it! "Pulp Fiction", lol.... nice. In fact, I think Sam Jackson's character was named "Julius" as well, which is a double-pun. Yeah, that'll work....

OK, that does it for the funny pictures.... so... boring personal nonsense...

Well... umm...

Oh, forget it, I'll find a video first....

Let's take a quick scroll through my Favorite's list in my YouTube account. Good thing I left it logged in, I didn't have to hack it... but I would have! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!

OK, here's a good one...



Dang, that dude was HAULIN'. I don't think Dave would be able to do that... actually, neither would I, for that matter... that's courtin' death, if you ask me... OK, what else do I have in here..?

What's this one? Three Scottish dudes and their Chinese pilot crash-landing a hot air balloon in China? Wonder why I haven't posted this one before?



Ah, it has a little profanity at the end there, that's why. Why, I'll post it anyway, just to embarrass myself in front of all of my clean-cut fans! That'll teach me! It's a cool video, though, I'll give me that much.

Ok, well then, personal stuff. Well, I've recently taken up hacking my blog and making secret posts pretending to be myself. I'm conflicted about it, honestly. I mean, on the one hand, I like pranking myself like that, since it keeps me humble. And I get the chance to embarrass myself in front of people that regularly read this tripe, by confessing some of my secrets -- like how I secretly read romance novels (*snicker*). Still, though, I feel bad about it on some level... I mean, I am a nice guy, when you boil it down, and don't really deserve the kind of razzing I give myself on a routine basis... but, hey, I'm already hacked in, so I might as well make the most of it....

There, is that enough personal drivel for now? Good. One more funny pic, and I'll end this....

OK, that'll work. Now I'm going to go over there and hide in that bush, and wait for me to show up and see this post. O, man, the look on my face will be priceless! I better grab my camera.

OK, see you later.

Dave the Cracked

"O Give Me A Manse Where the Buffalo Prance..."

Greetings and blah blah blah. Come on, like I need to find additional words for a greeting when that amazing shot of Paris is sitting there? I mean, wow... Does it remind you of your first trip to Paris? My first time in Paris was in late August 1944, when we liberated the city from Nazi clutches... I remember it well. The world was still black and white back then... the first soft colors didn't start leaching into parts of Europe until the late forties, as you know...

... and blah blah blah.

So, I pulled the plug on my Wagnervana website, as I threatened to. Yep, it's gone. It was pretty much a ghost town. Although when I checked the stats, it said I had about 1,000 unique visitors there in the past 30 days. Yeah, I doubt it. What would they be looking at, I wonder? The front page, primarily (according to the stat details). Which tells me people were either popping in and ditching again, or it was a bunch of Google spider bots gathering data for it's search juggernaut. Either way, it's now dead, and that's $14 less I have to spend per month. Yeah, I'm frugal like that...

I added a page here at this blog for my Wagnervana webcomic. At the moment I have the first half-dozen up there. I need to figure out a way to post the more recent strips in a way that will be big enough to read. Probably have to cut them into segments and post the pieces. I guess I should try drawing smaller strips again eh! No lack of ideas on my part...

And I've got the itch to work on my fantasy novel again, thankfully. Bought some supplies today - notebooks, index cards, highlighters, etc. I want to try and set some of the details down on paper before diving back into the storylines themselves. I want to do character sketches for all the characters of note, I want to detail the magic system, I want to detail the cities/geographic features/society, I want to focus on the Council of Wizards, I want to get a big map up on my wall. Once I get the world built better, as a foundation, I'll rework the quests and take the anxiety out of it. As it is now, I have so much stuff swirling around in my head, I can't keep things straight and avoid contradictions... then I try to "wing it" as far as advancing the four main storylines, and it collapses. I hope that by setting things down and getting a good look at it all, it will help me craft a better tale.

Wish me luck.

So after finishing The Dark Prism by Brent Weeks, I dabbled with a couple book samples, and then pulled the trigger on a book called Escaping Destiny by an author named Jeffrey Pierce. The first three chapters were very, very good, so I smiled, settling in for what promised to be a nice, satisfying read. And then it went straight to crap. I mean, the whole thing morphed into an addled, poorly-written, cheesy, incongruous boxful of amateurish pablum with dizzying speed. Now, I've read bad stuff before, but never something like this that started out so well and flatlined so fast. And no, the Red Wolf Conspiracy by Robert Redick is not that same thing... in that case, RWC was a terrific book through about 85% of it and then one odd storyline choice caused the tale to weaken considerably (and disappointingly). But I'm still glad I read RWC (and will likely read it again at some point). But in Escaping Destiny's case, I won't touch it again, period. Not sure what happened. Well, sometimes playing Independent Author Roulette pays off and sometimes it doesn't.

So I'm working my way through more free samples again. If I see anything of note, I'll let you know.

Yes, I know this post is boring! I'm sorry! I can't dictate my moods! I wish I could be a total goof all the time, but hey, sometimes I'm just mellow, boring ol' Dave.

Here, lemme get a video for you... ok, you've probably seen this guy lately, he's kinda blowing up online lately. Another unassuming-looking dude with a ridiculously good voice and crazy musical talent. His name's Noah, he's 18.



I recommend checking out his YouTube channel. He's got a ton of great cover songs he's done.

Trying to get into Deus Ex: Human Revolution again, but it just isn't doing it for me. I really want to like it, though... mostly because I think I could pull off dressing up as the main character for Halloween this year, if I wanted to...

... he wears a great trenchcoat. I've got the right hairline, lol. I'd just have to dye my beard, grow my hair out a bit and spike it, get a pair of those cool shades, and bingo! Instant walking obscure cultural reference!

Diablo 3 comes out tonight at midnight... I'm not going to buy it yet. I'm going to wait. For, like, an hour or so... that's me, a slave to hype. That reminds me, did you see that The Avengers has topped a billion bucks worldwide since it released 10 days ago? Holy crapoly! Almost 400 million in the U.S. alone! That is insane. I almost don't want to see it, just to be contrarian! You just know that new movies for each of the superheroes in that film are already underway... can't pass up a (surprise) cash cow like that.

OK, well, I suppose I'll jump ship for tonight. Gonna go find something with which to occupy the evening.

Adios for now,

Dave the Sedate

Warning: Mindless Fluff Ahead

Another stunning opening picture, from your Favorite Living Blogger, Dave the Goof! (aka Dave the Weak, Dave the Flatulent, Dave the Toolbox, Dave the Third (minus the "h"), and Dave the Late).

I was going to post a new one yesterday, but I got hammered with a Nuclear-level headache after work yesterday (probably cuz I purposely avoided coffee, in yet another vain attempt to quit the stuff), and ended up sleeping from 7ish until 8 this morning. And just when I thought "ok, that's the worst of it, I can skip coffee again today and go for two days in a row!", what do I get in the mail but my Free Drink Coupon from Starbucks. Curse you, Starbucks! So, yes, I got my free drink with lunch today and made the Biblical-level headache experience all for naught.

All that to say, sorry for making you wait so long for an update. I'm sure you got sick of checking back every 5-to-30 minutes since the 7th to check for Fresh Dave (aka Cool Dave, New Wave Dave, Phat Dave and Windy Dave), and so, I shall double up on the Cool Opening Photograph for you...

Another swoopy-misty cloud shot for you there... Yes, I know the first one was better, but hey, that one is cool too! Hey, what do you expect for a freebie?

Here's the latest edition of I've Just Decided...

So, I've decided I want to travel and write.

There, how's that?

I finished reading The Black Prism by Brent Weeks, a predominantly weak (pardon the pun) effort. I don't feel bad saying that, because I know he has a legion of fans. I can't say I count myself among them. I contemplated writing a legitimate review, but really, it wouldn't be a polite review. If you want to catch a whiff of my thoughts on it, I did fire off a mini-review over at Good Reads... but basically, I'm surprised that a writer of his caliber can make a living at it. So I've decided there's no reason I couldn't do the same.

Plus, I want to travel. So yeah, I've decided to travel the world, spending, like, a month in any given place, and bring my laptop with me, and write a bunch of novels! Amen!

I also call that segment Pipe Dream of the Week....

And now, 6 minutes'-worth of stuff being destroyed in slow-motion...



For best results, switch to 720p and watch full screen.

Since I'm sort of on a "repeating" theme tonight, here's a couple more pics...

A little too much energy, if you ask me...

Now THAT is a cool shot...

No! I haven't seen The Avengers yet! So stop bugging me about it, ok!? Sheesh! I do want to see it, though... maybe this weekend. I am a super-hero, you know... well, sort of. My super powers include: complaining, passing inhuman amounts of wind, overzealous daydreaming and sneaking "triple puns" by my readers (like, for example, the caption to that last photo... BUAHAHAHA!!!). Being a superhero has its privileges... I mean, I can stay up as late as I want to, farting around online! How else would I be able to find you cool, funny "public execution" pics like this...

... and then follow it up with a cool "public execution" animated video like this...



I mean, a normal mild-mannered citizen wouldn't be able to produce such blog content, would they? That's why my Superhero name is.... The Blogger!

No, wait, that's too plain and uninspiring. Blogzilla? Blogrrrr? The Blue Blogger? The Swamp Thing? No, that's taken already.... any suggestions?

Here I am, practicing my costuming skillz...

And now, this week's episode of Shortest Video Game Reviews In The World.

Medal of Honor: A Review

So I played a military shooter called Medal of Honor which was awesome, but short. I beat it in only 4 hours, but I loved every minute of it.

There, that's that. Good thing I don't get paid by the word, eh?

This may be a new record for me... the farthest I've made it into a blog post without saying anything of substance. Well, you don't normally come here for the heavy topics and weighty issues, right? You come here for fluff and nonsense, right? If you want weight and substance, check out Diz's latest post. It's a doozy.

Well, even I run out of fluff eventually. And that time is now, my friends. Though I suppose a true blogging superhero would never run out of fluff, eh? OK, you caught me. I'm no superhero. I'm just plain old Dave.

Adios for now.

Plain Old Dave (aka Dave the Mild-Mannered, Dave the Insipid, Dave the Uninspired and Dave the Bland)

A Nice Little Chat...

Look, it's time you and I had a nice, little chat... since it is just you and I here, alone in this big otherwise-empty blog... this blog; a strange combination of clubhouse, rumpus room, art gallery, stage, soapbox and prison cell. It has temperature control, an organic snack bar, a lavish water closet, a (unused) gas-fireplace, and two hidden passages (one leading to the top secret LAN dungeon and the other to a seldom used balcony overlooking my miniature recreation of Central Park (1:1000 scale)). All things considered, it's a nice blog, I think. Smells a little like feet/flatulence, but that's to be expected, to some level. Never been a fan of potpourri...

Where was I?

Ah, yes, a little chat.

Now, you'll need to forgive me tonight, since I've had two (count them, two!) caramel macchiatos today instead of my customary one (count it, one!), and so I'm a little off my game. That explains (in part) why I've shaved my head into a mohawk, and am wearing a feather boa, a fur-lined vest, steel-toed boots and a sequined unitard. But I digress. We need to chat, just you and I, and it needs to be a serious conversation. Unlike the times we'd discussed your unexplained love of Slim-Jim iced cream, my tendency to shout "Mufasa!" every time I pass wind, or our mutual hatred of midget rugby... no, this time it needs to be serious. As serious as that time we discussed my bed-wetting problem... no, more serious than that even... and that level of seriousness sort of takes our friendship into unexplored territory, doesn't it... yes, it does.

Where was I?

O yes, our serious discussion....

Here, step into my office...

No? Um, ok, fine, we can have our discussion here, that's fine. I mean, I know it doesn't smell the best in there, but hey, at least it's warm! No, I understand, it's kinda creepy, not a problem.

Here, we can go into my other office...

What? Still too creepy? Why? What's the matter, you afraid of teeth or something? Hey, good dental health has always been a priority of mine, you know that.

Fine, whatever. I assumed our friendship was such that things like that wouldn't matter anymore. Yes, I went there! We've known each other for so long, I just assumed that-- look, fine, whatever.

We can go out to the guest office then...

What's wrong now? Yes, I know you can't swim well! Good grief, it's like you're avoiding our serious chat or something! What do you think I'm going to do, propose or something? Yeah, look, I'm married already, and no offense, but you're not exactly my type in any case. Full-facial tattoos aren't exactly my thing. Well, I never said anything because I didn't want to hurt your feelings! Look, I'm sorry, I know how sensitive you are, my emotions just got away from me a bit. I apologize, OK? We good? OK, fine, let's just sit down a minute... here, let me grab you a chair...

Wait, where are you going!? Come back!

Fine, whatever. Go on, see if I care.

[sigh]

Man, good thing I didn't mention the webbed feet and the vestigial dorsal fin...

-----------------------------------------

Well, welcome to anyone else that might be passing through. I'm actually supposed to be posting my "Reflections" on the A-to-Z Challenge from this past month... you know, impressions, thoughts, comments, things I liked/didn't like about it. Well, what can I say? I went through my favorites, as far as all the vacuous forms of entertainment I use on a daily basis in order to help "escape" my o-so-painful, horrible life. See, that's the amusing part (I have to try to find the amusing part, forgive me)... my life is peachy. Blessings hand-over-fist... and yet, I'm wired to escape, as though life is too hard or some such. Good grief, I've got it made, just about every way I look at it.

Nevertheless, there it is. I read, I write, I watch, I play, I browse, I judge... it all came together in a giant, swirling maelstrom of self-absorbed navel-gazing which expressed itself in a daily barrage of hot air that, in truth, seemed more impressive than it actually was.

My thoughts on it? Well, nothing you haven't skimmed before in previous posts. It was fun, and it got old about 2/3 the way through the list. Hey, but at least I ended it on what I felt was a fun note, with the comic strip. And I got a few new followers out of it, and a few new blogs to pop in on, so it's all good. Will I do it again next year? Probably not. But that doesn't mean I thought it was a bad concept, or regretted it at all.

Bah, whatever. It's music time. Here's a great song from Blink 182 called Stay Together For The Kids... and surprise! It's a great music video as well! Not many of them anymore, that I've found...



I'm a sucker for angsty "divorce" songs, since I can sort of see both sides of the issue now... My folks divorced when I was very young (5?) and then again when I was in my late teens (19?), and now that I've been married a pair of decades, I've had opportunity to flirt with the idea myself, from the "other" side. It's a difficult issue, and no mistake. At the end of the video there, where they just rage and smash stuff... I've felt that... still do, quite regularly. It's easy to say people "should" do this or that, or tough it out, and "get counseling" and whatnot... I've discovered firsthand that things are infinitely more complex than that. As I suppose everything is. Sometimes I marvel that we've made it this long, Wifey and I. And at the same time, I can't imagine things being otherwise. Wifey and I are in a really good place right now, and I'm drinking it in, and trying hard not to screw it up. But I've also been where I've had to claw forward 5 minutes at a time - so has she. Unfun. Stay together for the kids? Is that ever a good idea? What kept me in place during those myriad "5 minutes at a time" periods? Honestly, I don't know for certain. I have my theories. But I thank God for it, whatever it is/was. I'm not foolish enough to think those times are all behind us. I trust that whatever it is that has got us through this far will continue until "death do us part"...

I've never been one of those dudes that blames my junk on my parents. I certainly don't fault them for doing what they felt they needed to do. Would I still be the escape artist I am now if I'd come from an "intact" family where my folks were together but couldn't stand each other? Would I still be all A.D.D. and/or (borderline?) manic/depressed? Would I be who I am now regardless? Heck I don't know, and honestly, I don't care. I've got a raft of quirks like everyone else does, and it doesn't really matter why... what matters is what I can/should do about them, if anything. My mom's one of my favorite people in the world, I'd never fault her for the choices she made in this regard. Granted, I do have some daddy issues, lol, but I won't go there... they more manifest themselves in general "be a man" issues than in anything specific about my dad himself.

Gah, abort, abort!

Wow, here I didn't really think I actually had a "serious" thing to discuss with you tonight!

Better turn the levity back on... feeling a bit like Harold Lloyd at the moment!

In fact, I think I've blown enough hot air for one night.

Until we meet again, I trust your week will be a great one.

Adios,

Precarious Dave

"Red Necklace" or "Redneck Lace", You Decide...

Wow, I so love that photo of Yosemite Valley. The photographer is one Colin Delahunty and his Flickr stream is here. There, trying to do right by the pic owner. Hope that's ok with him. Amazing shot. [Click it and look at it big...]

Here we are, smack-dab in the middle of the weekend. Usual mix of work, play and web-lurking filled my Saturday. Sunday will find me waiting at the Wild Animal Park for Wifey to cross the finish line on her latest half-marathon. Yep, that means I'm playing hookie from church. I think Jesus will forgive me. Now, if I were playing hockey from church, that might be another issue...

And now, Current Events...

Currently Reading: The Dark Prism by Brent Weeks. [Exactly 50% through it, and it has finally hooked me enough that I look forward to reading more. Not sure why I'm so determined to read/review it.] 

Currently Playing: Medal of Honor single player campaign. [An EXCELLENT military FPS game. So much more enjoyable than either of the Call of Duty Modern Warfare games I've played...] 

Currently Watching: Documentaries on NetFlix.

•  A doc on the Holocaust called The Unknown Soldier

• A pair of music docs on the making of Graceland by Paul Simon and Never Mind the Bollocks by the Sex Pistols

• A career retrospective on wrestling legend Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

• And a doc called Why We Laugh about the history of Black comedy in the US over the past century.

Currently Listening To: An old Brown & Sinkiewicz album I found in my dusty CD bin. [A local San Diego band from a decade or so ago. They don't exist anymore, but the CD is great stuff.] 

Currently Contemplating: More Wagnervana comics; shutting down my other website; dusting off the ol' guitar and writing more songs; taking acting classes; working on my novel(s); screenplay ideas.

Yeah, I know... I'm pretty mellow tonight. My mania has burned off since last I posted. Not that I'm depressed or anything, but I'm definitely not in as wired/weird a mood. Sorry. I'll try to make up for it by posting cool pics/videos like that "Ring of Fire" pic there. How awesome is that? Do you think that's just a single long-exposure shot, or two shots merged in Photoshop? Maybe one for the fiery circle, and a second with the fire-breathing? Either way, it's quite cool, methinks.

So through a lame comedy of errors, I spilled an unfinished protein shake on the floor of my car, behind the passenger seat, and didn't realize it until it "went bad" and started to stink the car up. Not knowing any better, I decided to spray Lysol on it and hope for the best. Needless to say, it didn't work. Now my car smells oh so wonderful! Yay! I've since tried spraying different things on it, with limited success. Do you pity me?

No? Well, I don't blame you.

Here, let me distract you with a video...



Makes me want to get out there in the real world and do something, instead of holing up in my cozy little home office as life proceeds without me. But then what would I have to whine about!? Well, at least I have options. Or I could just live vicariously through the adventures of my blog readers! Yeah, that's it! You guys go live exciting lives, and I'll stay here and amuse myself with digital insipidity, and occasionally read your blogs to catch the details of your exploits!

Uh oh... getting a bit too personal here... better distract with another funny picture...

Ah, here we go. Here are a couple text message exchanges between a guy and his dog...

I erased the B-word at the end there, even though it is technically the correct way to use the word, and makes for a clever play on words... still, I know how sensitive you all are, when it comes to profanity, so, being the magnanimous public servant that I am, I removed it. Your pure brains are unsullied.

Pointless, I know. Reminds me of those TV spots where they bleep out the bad language, but it's obvious to anyone with a brain what's being said, especially because of our innate ability to lip-read.

The summer approacheth. Nothing planned at this point. No Vegas trips. I may challenge myself to get out and explore San Diego a bit... I sort of live in a vacation destination! Can't see much of it from my home office! There I go, whining again. My friend Yanni is forever going off on hikes and exploring places... I wish that spirit was catching...

Reminds me, I got a surprise $9 refund from my State Taxes in the mail. A surprise, since I paid them a small fortune. I must have overpaid by $9, eh? Not sure how. And not sure how they would catch such a thing. The paperwork my tax guy filed had a very specific amount on it, which I paid in full (not a dime more). Well, whatever. Looks like a pair of caramel macchiatos on the state, eh?

Man, this just might be my most boring post ever. Top 5 easily, in any case. Seriously? State Tax refunds? That's what I've been reduced to talking about?  Wow, I better try to end it on a high note, otherwise the two of you that will eventually skim this post may never return here again!

Ah, here we go...

Just park that anywhere, pal...

OK, fine, I'll have mercy on you and end this. Hopefully a few days from now, I'll have more interesting things to pass literary wind about.

Until then, Adios!

Dave the Windy

I Will Now Drink Sodas and Do Jumping Jacks Until I Pass Out...

Look, you just don't understand... sometimes, a man has to post a picture of an erupting volcano. It's just one of those things that guys have to do once in a while, like clean the garage, bathe and/or leave the toilet seat down. It's rare, but not wholly uncommon.

See, stick around here and you'll learn all about the male mind...



Hmm... too much info, there, Jerry...

OK, so the A-to-Z Challenge is officially over. It resulted in a non-stop stream of hot air not seen around this blog for over a year... it got so hot and stuffy in this blog that the AC was running almost full time just to keep the place manageable (you're welcome). When my electric bill arrives, I'll likely be taking up a donation to cover it. Hey, I'm not made of money, you know! In spite of what the IRS may think! Sheesh! I think if I was made of money, I'd like it to be all $5 bills. Singles are just so commonplace (besides, I haven't been a single for a couple decades now), and anything $10 or up is sort of pretentious. Yeah, I think I'd stick with being made of fivers... whadaya say, Abe?

Good, that's settled then.

So I'm slogging my way through The Black Prism by Brent Weeks. I'm about 30% through it thus far. I'm determined to read the whole thing. Honestly, I've learned my lesson about "not saying unkind things about authors," and I'm resisting quite admirably, I think. Instead, I'm going to wimp-out by dishing out some bland, spineless generalization and hope that you don't despise me too fully because of it. "You see, not all authors agree with all readers. Sometimes a book needs to find its audience - and often that audience just isn't you." There, that's as kind as I can be. Normally I give up on "books that don't agree with me" straight away... but in this case, I'm going the distance. I want the book to prove me wrong. I want to like it, I don't know why.

Maybe it's a guy thing.

Thanks for all the feedback on the previous Wagnervana Comic I posted. I swapped the art out, as I said I would, with the little tweaks and changes I mentioned. I put the sword art into the panels where it was missing (sorry Vye!), added little "motion lines" in a few appropriate places, changed my sword art in the panel where Vye challenged me to a fight, and rearranged the word balloons in Panel 6 so that it reads a bit smoother. I was going to add more Carl, but decided against it. You'll have to wait for the next one for more Carl!

So I know what you're wondering... you wondering if--- hey, hey wait! Stop! I saw what you did there! You changed what you were wondering as I was writing that last line! That's not fair! You can't trick me like that. The rules say that once I see what you're wondering, you have to stick with that until I make a pithy comment about it. In fact, if you change what you're wondering before I can make a pithy comment about it, I get free hits. Yep, right on your shoulder, two hits. BAM BAM just like that. In the same spot, too! And you know how bad that can hurt, especially if I use the knuckle. But I won't use the knuckle, because deep down, I'm a nice guy. I am! Just ask my wife. No, wait, don't ask my wife. Ask my mom instead.

I know what you were wondering before you changed what you were wondering (cheater). You were wondering if I was going to buy Diablo 3 the day it comes out, or if I was going to wait until, say, Father's Day, so my wife and/or kids and/or blog readers would have to buy it for me. Well, frankly, I don't know yet. I have about 2 weeks to decide. Then I'll let you know. Until then, you'll just have to keep wondering about it, won't you?

By the way, you should be ashamed of yourself for what you started wondering when you changed your mind earlier. A grown, mature person should not be wondering that! Yes, you know what I'm talking about! Shame on you!

As your punishment, you must watch this bizarre synchronized dancing/tumbling/flipping number...



There, that will teach you.

The weeks are flying by. And no, I don't mean Brent Weeks and his family, not those weeks. I mean, literally, the weeks are flying by. I'm getting old! I mean, I'm almost 70 years old! Sheesh! Hey, 41 is almost 70... it's like more than halfway to 70 or something, I don't know... anyway, I feel old. Of course, it could be all those almonds I just ate... that could be what's making me feel old... anyway, yeah, the weeks are flying by. Before I know it, I'll have kicked the bucket, and be dead and gone. I hope they say good things about me once I'm gone. Like this guy...

Dang. Wonder what kind of reception Bernard got on the "other side"... where do people go when they die, I wonder? So many billions of people... where does God put them all? Do angels really meet people when they kick off and usher them somewhere? If so, where? And man, what a boring job that must be for angels. Maybe demons "greet" certain people, eh? Kinda freaky, when you ponder it. Not much Bible that I can recall that covers it. There's the rich man and Lazarus story (I wonder if it's the same Lazarus that was Jesus' friend?), and there's the sea of people in front of the Throne, waiting for (whining about?) vengeance... what else? It's such a common thing (death, I mean), there must be a plan... and LOTS of space. Unless souls take up comparatively little space, without the body...

Bah, who knows.

OK, well, I'm going to run along now, like a good little boy. Thank you to everyone that left comments during the A-to-Z thing. I interpret that as thick and juicy love (unless you're a dude, of course, in which case I interpret it as a manly bearhug-type thing with an accompanying pat on the shoulder and a nod of appreciation).

Fine, I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Good night!

Dave the Flatlining