Why Did the Chicken Cross the Blog?

Well, that's the way the water falls!

Hello everyone! I figure, if I pretend all of my faithful blog readers have, say, ten personalities each, I can, with a clear conscience, say "welcome, to all 30 (or so) of my readers!" Even though comments make me happy, I placate myself by saying "almost all of my readers are shy, and it pains them a little bit inside to have to open up, emotionally, and leave a comment. It takes a strong, brave soul to click that comment link and post some words!" You know who you are, *wink wink, nudge nudge*...

Happy Siete de Mayo!

I didn't post on Cinco de Mayo, so I'm trying to make up for lost time...

Of course, I should be working on the already-behind-schedule Piranha newsletters right now instead of blogging, but hey, I drank a caramel macchiato at about 8pm, so it's going to be a long night. I can take a few moments to free-associate here... until I run out of things to say, that is...

I finished A Feast for Crows the other day. I am officially caught up on ASOIAF, well-ahead of July 12. Well, unless I want to track down the 4 or 5 sample chapters for A Dance with Dragons that are circulating out there... I may, who knows?

Final Thoughts: A Game of Thrones is awesome, A Clash of Kings even better, and A Storm of Swords darn near perfect. Then A Feast for Crows falls startlingly off the precipice, into the realm of mediocre. Still, I'm apt to agree with Pat from Pat's Fantasy Hotlist, that a mediocre GRRM book is still better than most of what's available out there in SF/F.

Now that my colossal trek through the 1.35-million+ words of the series is complete, I'm at a loss as to which author to try now. I have some downloaded samples at my fingertips. I read the sample of Among Thieves, by Douglas Hulick, and it was solid. But it's first person, and I have a hard time with that. Still, his style is similar to mine, so I can connect with the dialog well. Plus, I read part of the (admittedly massive) sample of Daniel Abraham's newest, The Dragon's Path, and that's good reading as well. Tons of goofily-named characters and new races to track, though, which is trying. I may grab The Way of Kings (Sanderson) or Empire in Black and Gold (Tchaikovsky) off my shelf and go old school for a while.

I'll be sure to let you know what I decide, since I'm sure you're all just dying to know!

What can I say? That's where my mind and my life are at right now. I'm reading a lot. And writing. I gave my Eldest Daughter that "book" I wrote for her, for her 21st birthday. It's been about 2 weeks, and she hasn't said anything. I don't think she read it. Ah, well, so be it. Maybe next year, when I scan and paste in a bunch of pictures, it will be easier to read...

Are you proud of me? There have been great sales on EA games this week on Steam, and I haven't bought a blessed thing! Being broke has its advantages, eh?

So I've made mention a few times to the home management place that is responsible for the home I live in, that the carpet is in need of replacing. I take good care of it, but five and a half years of five people tromping on it every day has taken its toll. I finally got a reply today -- the owners have agreed to re-carpet the place, but they will have to increase my rent by $100/month to compensate. I say BS. I'm going to reply and say, "does that mean if I pay for someone to re-carpet the place out of my own pocket, you'll lower my current rent by $100/month?"

Gee, I wonder what they'll say?



Rabbits are now officially cool....

You have to check out a cool website/blog called From Me To You, which features the work of a photographer named "Jamie", who does what can only be described as high-end animated GIFs. I doubt that strikes you the right way - you really do have to see them. They're like really nice photographs with a small aspect of the picture that is animated. I would post one in here, but I don't know how... you really should go check it out, scroll through the gallery, and marvel at how beautiful they are. Click this screen cap of the website to go there.

Wish I knew how to create stuff like that...

OK, well that's it for me. Sunday is Mother's Day. If you're a mom, thanks for all you do for your child(ren)! You deserve a medal. Made of chocolate.

Adios for now.

Dave the Gump

Swirling Down the Random Drain of Randomness...

Greetings to my legion of adoring fans and vocal detractors!

A quick note to my vocal detractors... you have the word "tractor" in your title! BUAHAHAHAHA!!!! You're lame... maybe you'll go away if I write you a John Deere letter, eh?

Oh, come on, that's funny. A little bit, anyway. Yeah, I'm clever like that. I did another On-The-Road Anagram the other day... I was behind a PT Cruiser at a stop light (on the way to church, ironically), and was able to anagramize the letters into "scripture". That has to be my tops, thus far. Before that, I had turned "Chevrolet" into "tech lover", and thought I was all that.

Things to do in traffic...

And now, for today's edition of "OMG How Many Hours Did They Have To Practice That!?" we have two German chicks doing balancing tricks on bicycle(s)... (saw this on Bits and Pieces)



I guess it was too much to hope for the world to go low-key with the announcement of killing Bin Laden. I'm glad the guy is finally gone, but I think the non-stop coverage and in-the-streets celebrations will unnecessarily antagonize an already violence-prone, self-righteous sub-group of people. It's almost comical to watch the transition from tsunami to royal wedding to bin laden death... we're weird, ain't we? Kind of hard to keep perspective sometimes, eh?

And now, for today's edition of "Every-day Items Filmed In Super-Slow Motion". Today's episode? Jello cubes!... this is cool, watch it full screen, eh!



So, I'm about 60% through A Feast for Crows, and I'm sorry, it's just flat out a boring book. Such a stark contrast (pardon the pun) to the other books. It basically consists of talking, traveling and tedium. And a bunch of new hard-to-remember characters. In one instance, a new character is developed (in his own POV chapter, no less) and then unceremoniously killed off in an almost nonsensical way. I just don't get it! After the blistering action and plot twists that characterized the first three volumes, the action dries up and the remainder becomes a slog. I'll certainly finish it off, don't get me wrong. Perhaps that's why the fifth volume (A Dance with Dragons) has been so long in coming (6 years!). Maybe GRRM was able to honestly evaluate Feast and rethink his plans for Dance.

We shall see!

Something must be up... the time between books went waaaay up... check out the release dates...

A Game of Thrones: 1996
A Clash of Kings: 1998
A Storm of Swords: 2000
A Feast for Crows: 2005
A Dance with Dragons: 2011

And really, Feast was only half a book. Something must be up. Maybe he's lost the love...

And now for today's episode of Zombie-Proof Homes and Gardens, we have this gem.

Talk about paranoid! Gives new meaning to the phrase "closing up the house for the evening"...

I've been captivated by my Irish screen saver again lately. It has some pictures of the Cliffs of Moher that blow me away. I'd like to go there someday. Of course, I wouldn't go right up to the edge, but I'd get pretty close. Must be something to gaze out at the sea from atop those towering cliffs...

Snagged that one from Google Images... the Irish Edition. Called O'Google...

OK, I made that up...

And now, for today's edition of "Dog's Trying To Get Close to New Babies", we have this little clip...

Go Fluffy Go!

Remember that time I had nothing left to say? Remember? Yeah, that was a long time ago...

Dave

Readin' Fool, Free Samples and Easter Eggs...

I finished A Storm of Swords last night, and have moved on to A Feast for Crows. I'm ripping through the series much faster than I had anticipated. In fact, just between the three Martin books alone, I've read over a million words this month! If I finish Feast by Sunday, I can tack another 300K to that total. That's a lot o' readin', eh! Are you duly impressed?

I have always held that the third book, A Storm of Swords, was the best of the first three, but over the last couple years, I'd read cases made for the other two books being better than Storm, so I was curious to see, reading them all together like I just have, if my opinion would change at all. It has not. As much as I liked the first two books, Storm of Swords is by far the best of the series. Every storyline is so engrossing, and they twist and turn, and each one -- EACH ONE -- ends on such a high note, it was a joy to read. Very well done.

It would be pointless to do reviews of Book 2 and Book 3, without getting all spoilerific.

And now I am a few chapters into Feast, and the shift is pronounced. So many new characters introduced. I have mixed feelings about it. In a way, it's almost a fresh read for me, since I've only read Feast once, when it first came out in 2005. It is just barely dancing on the edges of my recollection, so I'm curious to see how this read-through plays out. So many people online disparage the fourth book, I'm wanting to see how it stacks up, reading all four back-to-back. The fact that I barely remember it is not a good sign...

The other bummer is that July 12 is so far away! Ah, well. Good things come to those who wait...

On a related note, my latest addiction is downloading samples of books on my Kindle app. Whereas before I would just buy a book outright, I have taken to collecting samples. For example, I read that the Hugo Award nominees were announced, so I pulled up the list, loaded up my Kindle app and downloaded free samples of all of the nominees for Best Novel. When the Gemmell Awards nominees are announced, I'll do the same thing. Plus, I lurk about on many book-related websites, and when I see something intriguing, I do the same. That way, if I like what I read, I'll either buy it or plan a library trip. Much better than making a wishlist somewhere, or buying and stashing books on my shelves.

Similarly, I've taken to downloading free demos of games instead of buying them. I have as many unplayed games on my shelves as I do unread books. This new philosophy will save me money in the long run, methinks. It makes smart financial sense in these perilous and unstable times!



Nerves of steel. I would need a change of shorts after that, for sure. I don't know if that was really brave or really dumb. Or maybe he just has world-class faith.

I don't know who would make a worse President, Donald Trump or Sarah Palin... *shudder*

So, I believe my facial-hair conundrum has been solved! Apparently, there's a new facial hair trend out now called The Monkeytail, and it may just be the answer to what I should do with my beard! Take a look at this dude...

So, the beard starts at one ear, travels down the jaw line, and sling-shots around the mouth, ending in a traditional mustache... You need to check this gallery out to see some more pictures of dudes sporting this look. One guy even striped his, to make it look more like a tail... in fact, lemme grab that pic, hold on...

Yes, I know it's ridiculous. I know. And no, I'll likely not actually do it. I'm just surprised that so many guys seem to be into it, that's all. Kind of an exhibitionist thing, I guess. Well, it certainly is less extreme than mohawks, tattoos, body piercings and/or streaking...

Well, perhaps you might find this next bit more interesting. Apparently, some dude has been photoshopping the original cast of Star Trek into old time black-n-white photos, with some awesome results. Check this out...

Come on, that's cool... go here to check out a bunch of other ones, as well as other classic photo mash-ups... such as other popular stars photoshopped into still-shots from the original Star Wars movie. Marylin Monroe as Princess Leia anyone? James Dean as Han Solo perhaps?

My Eldest Daughter turned 21 on Tuesday. She's my sweetie. Among the many things she's been doing to celebrate these past couple weeks, we went out to eat at a local Outback with my mom and sister (along with the Wagner Women). It was yummy. Too bad my brother Johnny wasn't able to attend... I was the only male at the table. Ah, well, when life gives you women, make womenade, I always say...

OK, that's disgusting. Who in his right mind would post such a thing on his blog?

Oh, yeah, that's right... I would...

Well, I suppose that's all I should off-load for now. Better save some up for the next post! I have some theology brewing that is sure to test your patience! MUAHAHAHA!!!

Adios for now.

Dave the Gump

Easter Odds and Ends

Saturdave draws to a close and begins the slow, smooth transition into Sundave. It's been a good dave todave. Mellow. I did the final proofing of the "book" that I wrote for my Eldest for her 21st birthdave, which is on tuesdave. 21! Dang! And since I know she doesn't read my blog, I can also mention that I bought her a little heart-shaped necklace locket, and had it engraved. And a couple other small things. I wanted to buy her a car, but it can't happen in time for her birthdave... she'll have to wait a bit longer.

On a related note, I got my own car fixed up some. I got the windshield fixed (finally!) and also went all-out on a full inside-and-out wash/wax/detail. Ugh, I hate that "new car smell" however... plus, whatever they use to treat the dash and vinyl (armor-all or some such) irritates my skin, which is sad.

But, hey, that's a small price to pay for a sparkling new-looking car, eh! Besides, now I can take wifey out on our weekly date to On The Border for Taco Tuesday in style. Hey, it's old, it's dented, and usually dirty, but it's paid off, it's reliable, and it's mine!

My car, I mean... not my wifey.

Look out below!

So I wasted no time devouring A Clash of Kings, and now have moved swiftly onto A Storm of Swords. I know I hype up GRRM for his masterful writing skills, but I was thinking today... I was trying to remember my very first read-through, and how it may differ from these subsequent read-throughs... when it was fresh and unfolding for the first time, there were so many stunning moments and unexpected bomb-shells that I missed a lot of the detail and the foreshadowing that I'm discovering this time through, which makes it fun again, rather than dull. It's really cool to see how he alludes to things in Book One that don't come to pass until Book Two or Three... or have yet to come to pass. It's fun to reverse-engineer the narrative, and try to get a good look at how GRRM crafted the story itself (as opposed to letting the story itself pull me along). I know the story well now... what remains is figuring out how he built it, and pulled it off so wonderfully.

Of course, I'd still take an editing pen to some of the "adult" content, but again, that's just the prudish facet of me speaking.

It's interesting, how multi-faceted people can be!

Take Russell Brand, for instance. Now, I have not been a fan of his in the least, not just the content of his stand-up material, but for his over-all arrogance and style (at least, that's how he presents himself (or rather, is often presented) in the media). If you don't know who he is, it's not important. My point is, I am not a fan of his. HOWEVER, I saw a 15 minute segment of an interview of him done by the BBC (and posted on Boing Boing) that pretty-nigh blew me away. He is incredibly erudite and fluid of speech, extremely quick of mind, with barely a stumble or stammer anywhere. He talks about the pitfalls of celebrity, and actually, he was very fascinating to watch.

I am going to post it here. Perhaps you will likewise be impressed.



Granted, that doesn't mean I will find his public persona or stand-up any more palatable, but I found this "facet" of him to be very impressive. I wonder if that's a natural gift, or a result of overmuch schooling? Or drugs?

Easter is upon us. Easter Sunday will find us (the fam and I) at church in the morning (as is our custom) and then up to my dear, sweet, wonderful, beautiful, generous, inspiring mother's house for an afternoon/evening of great food, laughs, and (no doubt) plenty of vacuous television entertainment. I'm sure there will be an iCarly marathon or the collected works of Sir Nicholas Cage on the tele, in direct contradistinction to the intended focus of the holiday.

I had three amazing comments left on the last blog post I made. Thank you Logan, Beth and Lisa.

I've been working on my own novel regularly of late. So fear not, Abbie! Your adventure lives! But I have forsaken my Vista writer's group in favor of the much closer (and gas tank-friendly) Panera location here at the mall by my house.

A very cool HotWheels Billboard.

There's a family trip to Albuquerque in the works. The last couple trips have been the Wagner Women only... not sure if I will accompany them this time or stay home again. I have mixed feelings about it, as usual. There are good reasons to go, and good reasons to stay. One thing is for sure... if I stay home, there will be a LAN partay at my house! Because my motto is, "let us sit down to eat and drink, and rise up to play"! Or rather, "...remain seated for several hours and play".

By the way, for Logan and others that have read The Song of Ice and Fire series, and plan on reading A Dance With Dragons in July, but DO NOT want to undertake to re-read the series in preparation (like me, eh!), you can go to a cool website called The Tower of the Hand and read thorough chapter reviews of every chapter in the existing four books thus far. Apparently, it's a well-done refresher course that will reinvigorate your brains and remind you of all that went before.

Lots of other little things going on, but I shall spare you the mundane details at this point. If any of those items blossom into something intriguing, I shall include them in my next post.

Oh, by the way, Rebecca wrote a brilliant post recently which you really should read when you get a chance. HERE is the link.

Adios for now.

Dave