Rambling Listlessness and Pseudo-Contemplation. In Other Words, Business as Usual.

That is a breath-taking picture! Which is annoying, really. I mean, I need my breath, thank you very much! I can't go around passing out now can I? Probably subjective anyway. Some of you probably look at that picture and go, "meh, whatever." I guess it's that way with all art. I won't name names, but I know someone who literally stole my breath once when she walked into the room. I always thought a woman being "breath-takingly beautiful" was a movie myth. Nope, it happened to me that once. Felt like I'd been hit in the stomach! Once is enough - I felt guilty enough about it at the time, I wouldn't want it happening again...

Well, it sorta got uncomfortable in here, didn't it!? Better change the subject...

WARNING: Gratuitous Self Analysis Coming!

Today was an odd day. As usual, I'm riding the ups-and-downs of the 'Turning 40 Roller Coaster'. Today was tough. Sometimes I feel so out of place in my life. When I divide my life into its major components (work, church, home life, etc.), in every area I feel like an outsider looking in, trying to fit in among people/places that don't quite feel welcoming, or comfortable, or something. Shoe on the wrong foot, that sort of thing. Close, but not quite right.

So I left work for a while. I ate something for lunch, and then I actually went to see a movie, for the first time since I saw Inception (eons ago). I saw Thor, in the 3D-IMAX theater in Miramesa, just so I could unplug my brain and coast for a while. The movie was better than I'd thought it would be. In fact, it was worth the price of admission just to watch the closing credits, which featured some computer-generated visuals of coursing through outer space, with nebulae and galaxies and star formations, etc, all swirling around. It may sound lame, but trust  me... in 3D on the big IMAX screen, it was amazing.

Yeah, I know... how depressing to go to a movie alone, eh? Actually, I didn't mind. I think I needed it. The movie was oddly inspiring to me.

Gads, this blog post is going downhill fast. I better move on...

So, what am I reading lately? Here, let me show you!

First I wrote it, then I read it! I will now do a review...

Actually, if I really did write such a title, it would be more of a pamphlet than a legitimate book like that. The list of people I'd like to punch is short, thankfully. Although I'm sure I could stretch that list out to fill a book by adding some quality illustrations....

Honestly, though, I'm a bit burnt out on reading at the moment. I read a bit of The Way of Kings (Sanderson) -- and it really is quite good. But each chapter introduces a new character set, and my head is still so full of The Song of Ice and Fire, I'm finding there's isn't much room in there for a whole new cast at the moment. I think I'll just give reading a break for a week or so, and see how it plays out.

Confession Time:
Sometimes I find myself thinking along these lines: "Man, if everyone in the world was more like me, there'd be no murder or rape or assaults or adultery or theft, etc. etc. The jails would have a few speeders in there, a jaywalker or two, perhaps a little 'disturbing the peace' for breaking wind in public, and that's it! What a wonderful world it would be!" How narcissistic is that!? That's like world-class level narcissism. Of course, it's also flawed logic. I'm sure everyone wouldn't need to be "more like me" for that stuff to disappear... if they all had a wonderful, supportive group of friends and family, like I do, and great kids, a job, two paid-off cars, a nice house to live in, etc. Man, I have got SO much to be thankful for. Take any or all of that away from me, and who knows? Perhaps if the pressure was great enough (pressure that many other people have to operate under every day), I may resort to the types of behaviors I dismissed above. So much of it is situational.

Well, this could possibly be my last post! That is, if Harold Camping is correct and the "rapture" happens on Saturday. I don't mean to come across as needlessly condescending, but what, may I ask, is wrong with these people? What possesses some people to come up with these "end of the world" doomsday predictions? What bugs me isn't that these "spiritual leaders" look like fools afterwards, or that they give religious folks a bad name/rep (they have that already), it's that they seem to attract these sincere followers who believe them and often make drastic changes to their lives in preparation for The Big Day. This guy Camping seems to have a whole host of folks behind him on this. What will happen to their faith once Saturday comes and goes and all is the same? Hopefully, it will simply be a case of temporary disillusionment and not too many suicides (not without precedent in such cases as these, sadly).

All that to say, what a pantload.

And now, Dad of the Year candidate #206.

I've heard of Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, but this is ridiculous!

OK, well, this was a rambling, listless post that failed rather miserably at projecting some semblance of depth of conversation. What can I say? It's where I'm at today. If you made it this far, you have my appreciation. If you leave a comment, I'll send you a 10-pound bag of teriyaki beef jerky as a thank you.

Dave the Gump

Sandfalls, New Things and Inner Canadians, Eh.

Greetings, earthlings! How's it goin', eh? Eh? (I'm channeling my inner Canadian, eh.)

The week is off to a roaring start! And by 'roaring', of course, I probably mean 'gassy'. You know how juvenile I am. I'm an 8th-grader trapped in a 40-year-old body. And as such, I think certain baser things are interesting and/or amusing.

Things like this!

Aw, yeah... steampunk wedding cake figurines. How cool would it be to use that on your wedding cake, eh? I'd do it, if I could go back in time. Of course, if I could go back in time, I wouldn't have worn a white tuxedo at my wedding either. Actually, now that I think on it, if I could go back in time...

Nah, better not go there...

We're all time travelers, in a way, if you think on it. It's just we all travel forward in time a day at a time, that's all...

Harsh segue! Ow!

If I could redesign my house, I'd buy the following new junk...

Of course, I'd start with the couch that converts into bunk beds... not sure about the color, though... I'd have to go with white, since then it would be impossible to keep clean...

I'd get diningroom chairs with big numbers on them, so I could crack lame puns during dinner, depending on the chair I was in. ("Boy, I eight so much food!" "I'm in three at last, three at last, thank God Almighty etc..." "Hey, what is this chair four again?" "I have to go number two" etc.)...

The perfect clock for the raging phlegmatic within... go ahead, eh... ask me what time it is, eh... (I guess I'm a phlegmatic Canadian).

And this wicked-cool multi-function stool. I wonder if it spins around and around, eh? Eh? I like the arm-rest. That way I have a place to set my energy drink before accidentally bumping it off with an errant elbow...

And finally...

Ah, yes. A bathroom with a view. Of course, this would mean I'd have to move into a high-rise. Unless I want a view of my neighbor's untrimmed hedges.

Oh, wait... those are MY untrimmed hedges! O_O

Here, check this video out. It will appeal to the inner Canadian child-slash-raging mathematician in you...



Holy mackerel... it took me forever to type "mathematician" correctly! I don't think I've ever typed that word in my life before. It looks weird, doesn't it? I misspelled it seven different ways before the red line disappeared. And here I thought I wuz so smert...

At least I didn't spell "correctly" incorrectly. That would have been ironic. I could have accidentally spelled it "colorectally"... what a pain in the butt that would have been...

BUAHAHAHA!!!!

O_o

OK, fine, I'll change the subject.

So I dressed up as a greaser today for work. Not intentionally, mind you. Yanni pointed it out. I had on jeans, a white t-shirt and my black leather jacket. I even had my hair sorta slicked back. The only thing that ruined the greaser look was the pair of red stiletto heels I wore...

Speaking of untrimmed hedges, I'm growing my beard out again. It's getting all bushy and unmanageable and wild, I love it. I'll be eating locusts and wild honey before I know it. Here, it's been a while since I pandered to my sense of narcissism and posted a head-shot. I shall now indulge. Behold, the beard!

I posted it small, so I wouldn't scare the children and small animals. You'll have to click it to see it bigger, if you're feeling intrepid. But be careful! That nose pops out like it's 3D!

Still, you gotta admit, that's an impressive beard. No one would argue that...

Ah, well... can't please everyone, eh? Eh?

Hey, Osama, someone's at the door for you! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Adios, y'all.

Dave the Goof

Prisons, Pencils, Portraits and Paul Simon.

What?! Another seaside landscapey picture? What is that, Dave, about the 10,000th one you've led a blog post with?

Yes, as a matter of fact... hey, I'm nothing if not a master of the cliché... Here, let me distract you with a Funny Picture... yeah, I've never done THAT before!

Come on, admit it... that's a good one...

What can I say? It's what I do. It's what this blog is all about... purrrrty shots of nature, absurd pictures and video clips, interesting (aka "borderline-useless") tidbits scoured from the web, and occasional pieces of info from my day-to-day life. Toss it all into a blender and hit "frappe" twice a week, and there you go. Blog magic.

Or "soul-trying tedium", whichever works for you...

Remember when I used to do a Daily Spoonerism? Remember? No? Well, I guess you just had your plans for the weekend changed, then, didn't you. Now you get to go back through the archive and read every one of my posts, from the beginning. Yep, from waaaay back when only my mommy and Havah were reading it. Ah, the good old daves...

Actually, don't do it. It will make you long for a root canal procedure to distract you. Actually, reading through all those early posts will likely numb you enough to go ahead and have the root canal done, pain-free.

Oh, a spoonerism? Um, ok... lemme think... how about "Ground beef" or "bound grief", which one? I may have used that one before. If so, apologies. You'll have to scour the archive and find out... MUAHAHAHA!!!!

OK, enough of that hot air. Here's a cool video clip.

Apparently, at a recent Paul Simon concert, he announced the next song he was going to play, and a lady near the front called out that she learned to play guitar by playing that song. So he invited her up to play it!



I should have rick-rolled you there, but I'm too classy for that.

That's a cool video clip. She'll remember that forever. Have you ever seen anyone so happy? She'll be his biggest fan forever after that. Reminds me of that time Joe Abercrombie left a quick comment on my blog that time. Man, that took him from being just one of many authors I was trying out, all the way to tops on my list, just for taking 30 seconds to leave a quick comment. I'll always have a spot in my heart for that man, great writing notwithstanding. That's called "building a legion of rabid fans, one reader at a time." If I ever get published, I'll be sure to do the same.

Actually, if I ever even finish a first draft, I'll throw a party for the whole world...

Speaking of great authors, I fired up The Way of Kings (Sanderson) today, and slooowly savored the very opening prologue of that book again. I tell ya, it is such a short prologue, but I have never seen (or imagined) anything so potent in all my reading experience. In 3 short pages, in the immediate aftermath of an awesome battle, Sanderson not only conveys an incredible sense of epic centuries-spanning action, but effectively sets the stage for a gigantic series. Masterful does not begin to describe it. I really should post it here in it's entirety, but I might get in trouble for that. Instead, trust me, do yourself a favor, and go download the free sample of The Way of Kings from Amazon, and just read the opening. It is marvelous. I can't imagine another author being able to accomplish so much, so effectively in even twice the pages. It is a remarkable accomplishment. So much so that I went back and re-read it right away before moving into Chapter One.

EDIT: Here, I found the part on Sanderson's website, so you don't have to download anything. Go over and read it directly from the site. It's a bit hard on the eyes (black background, tan letters), but well worth it, and brief. Tell me it's not the most amazing fantasy-series opener ever.

And now, grown-up Calvin and Hobbes...

That's a cool piece of fan art. If you follow THIS LINK, you can go to another fan page where an artist created comic strip with a different take on a grown-up Calvin and Hobbes that is very well done (Calvin is an adult, has married Susie, and they have a daughter named Bacon, lol). I wonder if he'll be able to do many more strips before the legal powers-that-be send him cease and desist orders?

I think I'm giving up on Portrait of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde. It was very good for a few chapters, then slipped quietly into tedious. I may skim ahead a bit and see if it hooks me again, but right now, the wonderful phrasing has been replaced by lame dialog and ridiculous character choices.

Summer is almost here. Just thought I'd let you know... in case, you know, you, like, haven't looked at a calendar in a while. Ah, summer! That means working every day while my family goes to the beach without me! Ahhh!!! That means trying to remember to apply suntan lotion to my left arm so I don't burn as I drive to and from work. It means trying to resist the urge to buy myself things I don't need, with money I don't have! It means complaining on my blog like a whiny little child that I'm going to turn another year older in August! It means-- ok, now I'm depressing myself. Better change subjects...

There is an artist named Dalton Ghetti that carves pencil lead into cool little sculptures. That key is just a quick example. You really need to hop over to his website and scroll through his gallery. Some of them are amazing. Click THIS LINK to go check it out. You'll (likely) be glad you did.

Ever have one of those times when something huge happens in your life and you can't share about it on your blog, for a variety of reasons? Yeah, I hate when that happens...

OK, I suppose that's enough randomness for now. I'll round up some more and post again soon. Hope y'all have a great weekend.

Dave the Gump

Lethargy, Liquification and Literature

Those are some strong clouds, eh? Of course, there was likely some contrast tweaking in Photoshop, but hey, you can't argue with the results...

Here, let me post another, since I have several in my archive...

Even better, methinks... I wonder where that is?

I have a confession to make... I have nothing interesting to mention tonight. Nothing at all. Nothing happened, save the usual regimen of work, church, and sleep, mixed with a little game playing and book reading. Granted, a dearth of interesting things to write about has never stopped me before. So I'll just start typing and see what happens...

I guess I'll start here... a new type of bull-fighting...



Kind of evens the odds a bit more, eh? (Pardon the oxymoron...)

Hey, Logan, this is sort of up your alley, as far as having a possible explanation as to what is happening. A few weeks ago, after the tsunami, I posted a video of the ground shifting in a park over there in Japan, on some reclaimed land in Tokyo Bay. Here's another more intense video, apparently filmed a few weeks after, and the shifting seems to be worse. Any idea where this might lead?



Kinda freaky, to say the least... I'll be curious to hear your thoughts...

So, you'll never guess what I'm currently reading...

Back when I first got my iPad, I downloaded a few free classic books, and promptly forgot about them. Among them was Portrait of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. I meant to delete the file unread, since I have way too many other titles clamouring for my attention, but instead, I inadvertently clicked it and it opened to chapter one, so I started reading.

I don't know if you're familiar with Oscar Wilde, but if you've never read anything of his, I highly recommend this book. His style is amazing! I can't think of another writer that is so fascinatingly, blatantly impressed with himself. His phrasing is incredible! I've highlighted a bunch of great lines so far. Here, lemme grab a couple... these are just from the first couple chapters...

"I am told that pork-packing is the most lucrative profession in America, after politics." 

"I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones." 

"The seat on her left was occupied by Mr. Erskine of Treadley, an old gentleman of considerable charm and culture, who had fallen, however, into bad habits of silence, having, as he explained once to Lady Agatha, said everything that he had to say before he was thirty." 

"... she was so dreadfully dowdy that she reminded one of a badly bound hymn-book." 

"To get back one's youth, one has merely to repeat one's follies." 

"Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense..." 

"... but he sat like one under a spell, smiles chasing each other over his lips..." 

"She was a curious woman, whose dresses always looked as if they had been designed in a rage and put on in a tempest." 

"Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious: both are disappointed." 

"Women are a decorative sex. They never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly. Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals." 

"As for conversation, there are only five women in London worth talking to, and two of these can't be admitted into decent society."

That's just a small sampling... page after page, paragraph after paragraph, it's like eating a non-stop dessert. Granted, those are lines pulled out of context, yet I still enjoy them thoroughly. Within their context, they are even better. I may actually do a book review when I'm finished! On a book from an author who died in 1900! The story itself is rather tepid at this point, but the dialog and phrasing is delightful.

I don't know much about the author. Apparently, he was quite a hedonist, and died young (46, I believe). He's either brilliant, or a world-class BS artist. I'm not quite smart enough to know which one just yet. I'll get back to you.

My dream house may have a rooftop pool... How "wilde" is that?

I don't know what to say... I'm pretty lethargic today. All things considered, I enjoy my manic moods a bit better. They produce better blog posts, at least... this one is kind of bland. My apologies.

Well, lemme regroup and hit it again soon. Hopefully, something in here piqued your interest a bit...

Dave the Goof