Thursday, May 17, 2012

Me, Myself and iPad...


Haloo! Haloo, I say! Surprise, it's Dave. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! I hacked into my own blog and I'm now posting without my permission! It wasn't hard to do, unsurprisingly... I mean, I knew the password had to be some variation of the word "TURD"... it only took me about a dozen tries and I was in like flynn. O, man, I'm going to be soooo pissed later when I find this post. I'll be like, "Hmm, well, I guess I should make a new blog post... lemme just check out--- HEY! What the heck! I've been hacked!"

BUAHAHAHAHA!!!! O, man, I so deserve it though... I mean, I'm such a spineless milquetoast, but I throw great fits. I doubt I'll want to actually fight me over it... but knowing how passive-aggressive I am, I'll probably come up with some sneaky way to get back at me.

Oh, well, it'll be worth it.

In any case, how is everyone, eh? Doing good, I hope? Hmm... not really sure how to do these blog things. Dave is always the one to do these, I don't. I'm a lover, not a writer. So let's see... lemme scroll through some of my recent posts and see how I do this... brb...

OK, well, it looks like the thing to do is whine about personal stuff that no one cares about, then post lame pics that I apparently think are funny, and then some sort of video. I guess I also talk about books I'm reading, as though anyone out there gives a crap or two about it. Wow, that's it? And you people pay to read this stuff? Dang. Hmm? Oh, it's free? Well, that makes more sense, then...

OK, so, personal stuff... Um... hmmm....

How about I hold off on the personal stuff and post a funny photo instead. Lemme see what I have socked away... hmm, where would I keep such things, I wonder?  Let's see... work stuff... boring... family pics... nope... gah! Nope, better not post that one, lol... hmm.... book cover art? Why would I have that? Ah, for book reviews.... hmm.... more nonsense.... ok, here we go, found my Funny Pic cache... How about this one...


Hmm... yeah, I guess I see the family resemblance. But not everyone digs Star Wars humor... lemme see what else I've got...


OK, another mash-up pic, this time LOTR. Can't go wrong with Boromir, true... Pretty funny, but still too nerdy, I think. Lemme try again...


Buahahaha! I get it! "Pulp Fiction", lol.... nice. In fact, I think Sam Jackson's character was named "Julius" as well, which is a double-pun. Yeah, that'll work....

OK, that does it for the funny pictures.... so... boring personal nonsense...

Well... umm...

Oh, forget it, I'll find a video first....

Let's take a quick scroll through my Favorite's list in my YouTube account. Good thing I left it logged in, I didn't have to hack it... but I would have! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!

OK, here's a good one...



Dang, that dude was HAULIN'. I don't think Dave would be able to do that... actually, neither would I, for that matter... that's courtin' death, if you ask me... OK, what else do I have in here..?

What's this one? Three Scottish dudes and their Chinese pilot crash-landing a hot air balloon in China? Wonder why I haven't posted this one before?



Ah, it has a little profanity at the end there, that's why. Why, I'll post it anyway, just to embarrass myself in front of all of my clean-cut fans! That'll teach me! It's a cool video, though, I'll give me that much.

Ok, well then, personal stuff. Well, I've recently taken up hacking my blog and making secret posts pretending to be myself. I'm conflicted about it, honestly. I mean, on the one hand, I like pranking myself like that, since it keeps me humble. And I get the chance to embarrass myself in front of people that regularly read this tripe, by confessing some of my secrets -- like how I secretly read romance novels (*snicker*). Still, though, I feel bad about it on some level... I mean, I am a nice guy, when you boil it down, and don't really deserve the kind of razzing I give myself on a routine basis... but, hey, I'm already hacked in, so I might as well make the most of it....

There, is that enough personal drivel for now? Good. One more funny pic, and I'll end this....


OK, that'll work. Now I'm going to go over there and hide in that bush, and wait for me to show up and see this post. O, man, the look on my face will be priceless! I better grab my camera.

OK, see you later.

Dave the Cracked

5 comments:

Sally said...

You are crazy but I kept reading and with a smile on my face!

Anonymous said...

The balloon ride was hilarious! Those guys sound like a lot of fun.

Beth

Abbie Josephsen said...

nope, you can never go wrong with boromir :) he's the MAN!

David Wagner said...

Sally: You smiled? But I was deadly serious... O_O <-- see? That's my serious face...

Beth: With all due respect to Doc Brown, those were Great Scotts!

Abbie: Members of the Boromir Fan Club, unite!

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